sin & sorcery
by splendidlyimperfect
Summary: Natsu and Gray find themselves flung through a portal into a world they don't recognize - a magic-less, dystopian version of Earthland called Edolas. With their magic gone and a dire need to get home, they find themselves in an alliance with some (un)familar faces, working with a rebellion of underground mages to take down Faust and the city of Imperium.
1. waking up to ash and dust

"Get down!"

Gray flung himself forward, pushing Rogue out of the path of an incoming blast and rolling back to his feet. A dog-like demon took shape from the ruins, then snarled, charging towards Gray. Two ice daggers materialized in his hands and he flung them at the beast, sighing with relief when they found their mark and it crumbled into pieces. Gray reached down and helped Rogue to his feet.

"The portal is getting bigger!" Lyon's voice rang out across the courtyard, and Gray looked up to see that his brother was right. Jellal – or rather, a shapeshifter with Jellal's face – was standing at the pedestal, chanting something to keep the portal open.

"Natsu, take him OUT!" Gray roared. Natsu staggered to his feet, blood trailing down his face from a cut on his temple, and snarled at not-Jellal. Natsu threw his head back and let out a blast of flames in the direction of the pedestal, but the invisible barrier around Jellal ignored the magic like it was nothing.

"I can't…" Natsu's voice trailed off and his eyes widened as he saw a ball of dark energy shoot up in the air and expand. "Shit. Everyone hide! NOW!" The magic started to constrict, and an idea began to form in Gray's mind. Not-Jellal had used this magic before, so maybe they could trick it.

"Bring it back to him!" Gray shouted at Natsu, gesturing at the portal and the pedestal. Natsu frowned for a second, then a grin broke out over his face and he dashed forward towards the barrier. "Rogue, get Sting and get the hell out of here." Rogue was already holding an unconscious and badly battered Sting in his arms, and he gave Gray a worried look before disappearing into the shadows.

"Gray, don't be an idiot!" Lyon, of course. Gray turned and saw Lyon, arm cradled limply across his chest, leaning heavily on a column of rocks.

"Just get down, let us handle this!" Gray yelled. Bits of debris were whipping around him now, fast enough to slice tiny cuts into his exposed skin. Lyon looked like he might argue, but he gave Gray a nod and ducked behind a ruined pillar.

Natsu stood next to the barrier, pushing his hands against it and wincing at the energy that crackled up his arms. Gray pushed his way forward against the thick vortex of magic that was now swirling around them. The barrier felt cold under his hands, but he pressed against it stubbornly.

"You're too late!" not-Jellal shouted, gesturing to the portal behind him. It looked like a window now, and Gray could catch bits and pieces of a ruined landscape through it. "I'm finally going back to take what's mine! Enjoy being purged."

"What the hell is he t-"

Natsu's question was interrupted when their plan finally came to fruition – the dark energy above them exploded and targeted the closest sources of magic – them. Gray quickly pushed a wall of ice around both of them, but the other magic overwhelmed his, blasting through and tearing the invisible barrier between them and not-Jellal to pieces. Gray reached out, trying to grab Natsu's hand while keeping his eyes open in the whirling vortex of rocks and dust and magic and-

-and then he stumbled forward, tripping on a piece of debris and landing on his knees in the middle of an empty alley. The vortex and the wind and the magic were gone, and in their place was silence.

"Natsu!" Gray staggered to his feet, looking around frantically for not-Jellal or his teammates. Natsu had been inches away from him, but now Gray appeared to be alone. And where the hell was he, anyway? The buildings on either side of him stretched so far over his head that they almost met at the top. "Natsu!"

Gray took a step forward, peering around the corner. The unfamiliar town was completely silent, and the air smelled like rust and stagnation. Gray rubbed his arms – it was freezing here, and he _never_ got cold. An empty feeling washed through him, and his eyes widened in shock. His magic was gone. He tried desperately to access it, to find even a shred of it somewhere, but there was nothing to grasp at. What the _hell_?

"Gray!" Natsu's voice came from somewhere in the distance and Gray sighed in relief. At least he wasn't alone. "G-gray! Can you h-hear me?" Natsu's voice was shaky; it sounded like he was in pain.

"I'm coming!" Gray shouted, making his way toward Natsu's voice. "Keep yelling, I don't know where you are." He jumped over bits of rubble and twisted metal, wincing at a bruise forming on his side. Following the cries that were growing weaker by the second, he finally found himself in what appeared to the be the center of a collapsed building.

"Natsu, shit, are you okay?" Gray gasped. Natsu was pinned to the ground by several pieces of twisted metal that had fallen on him when he landed. Blood poured from the gash on his temple, and his face was white and slick with sweat.

Gray darted forward, grabbing the debris and pulling it away. Natsu groaned in pain, hand immediately going to his stomach, where blood was beginning to soak through his shirt.

"I th-think I'm okay," Natsu mumbled, but the blood pulsing sluggishly over his fingers disagreed. Gray quickly unwound Natsu's scarf from his neck and wrapped it around his torso, pressing on the wound. "F-fuck that hurts," Natsu groaned. "It's c-cold as hell here." Gray saw the moment that Natsu realized he was cut off from his magic, and he shook his head.

"I can't use my magic either," he reassured, lifting Nastu up and half-carrying him back to the street. "Can you walk? We should get out of here, I'm getting a…" Natsu nodded.

"Bad feeling, yeah. W-where the hell are we?" he asked, wincing and trying to look around. "I was… that guy that looked like Jellal was summoning a portal. And then – wait, where's Lyon? And Rogue and Sting?"

"I haven't seen them," Gray admitted. "They were a lot farther away from the portal than we were. The Jellal-guy was in front of us and then he just… disappeared, and then I was here." Gray shivered, and Natsu frowned at him. "Yeah, even I'm cold here."

"Probably doesn't help that you're not wearing a shirt, popsicle." Natsu muttered. They had made it back into a more central area of the town, which was still completely abandoned. Apartment buildings rose a hundred feet into the air, plants growing off the unused balconies. "Let's look around an-"

"They're over here!" A woman's voice rang out over their heads, and Gray looked up. Something large and dark hovered in the air on the other side of the buildings, and Gray tugged Natsu's arm, leading him through the debris toward it. It almost looked like... a ship?

"Did you flash 'em? Are they Cylons?" Gray froze. That was Natsu's voice. Deeper, and a bit rougher, but definitely belonging to the boy whose arm was currently draped around his neck. Gray turned to Natsu to see him frowning in puzzlement as well. The voices were getting closer, and Gray tried to see through the rubble to identify who was speaking. What the hell was going on?

"Didn't look it," the woman's voice replied. The voice was still coming from above them, and Gray stared upward intently, squinting at the tall apartment buildings. A flash of blue caught his eye, and he finally saw a figure, dropping from balcony to balcony until she stood in front of them.

It was a girl, maybe their age, with long blue hair pulled back into a set of intricate braids. She wore dark pants with a set of pistols holstered on each hip, and a black jacket over a well-worn tank top. Strange tendrils of a black material appeared to be embedded under and around her left eye.

"Holy shit, Wendy?" Natsu leaned forward and the woman immediately pulled a pistol from one of the holsters, pointing it at Natsu and scowling. Natsu was right, Gray realized with a start – it _was_ Wendy. She was much older, and her neck and chest were marred by uneven scarring, but she had the same eyes.

"Who the frak are you?" she demanded angrily, glancing backward over her shoulder and then returning her gaze to them, moving to hold her pistol with both hands. Her eyes drifted to Gray and widened. "What kinda tech are you pulling?"

"I don't understand," Natsu said softly, and Gray could feel him shaking. "Aren't you Wendy? You're so much older? Where are we?"

"Wendy! There you are." A muscular man who looked nearly identical to Natsu clambered over a pile of rubble and skidded to a halt next to the girl. He had a deep, ugly scar through a blind left eye and a dark growth of stubble along his chin, and he was dressed in a similar black-on-black outfit. A holster was strapped to his thigh, the gun belonging to it was held cautiously in his hand. "I found a flatline, but it didn't look like a Cy..."

His voice trailed off as he caught sight of Gray and Natsu.

"What the frak?" he breathed, staring at them with a mixture of terror and cautious optimism. His eyes lingered on Gray and his brow furrowed as he stepped towards him. "Gray? You… you're…"

He reached out a tentative hand and touched Gray's face, running his fingers down to the Gray's chin. Gray shivered, breath catching in his throat.

"It's some kinda tech," other-Wendy growled, and the other Natsu snapped out of his daze and stepped back, face hardening. "It's not him."

"Not who?" Gray asked, tightening his grip on Natsu's waist and gesturing around them in confusion with his other hand. "I _am_ Gray. But… I don't think we're from here."

"You're not _him_ ," the other Natsu said sadly. "You don't have the scars. And anyway, he's…"

"Dead," other-Wendy said, voice fierce. "So, either you two got total aesthetics of wanted Purges, or you're glamored."

Gray felt like he'd been punched in the chest. He could feel Natsu leaning heavily against him and tried his best to keep him standing. His mind was going a million miles a minute. He was _dead_ here? Where the hell _was_ here? And this other-Natsu looked so familiar, but so different.

"What's a… glamor?" Gray ended up asking, but his question was interrupted by Natsu making a weak sound and slumping against Gray, eyes fluttering shut. "Shit. He's lost a lot of blood. Can you- do you have a healer?" Gray sank down to the ground, holding Natsu carefully against him. He pressed down on the wound harder and felt his chest tighten with fear. "Please?"

"They're not glamored," the other Natsu muttered to Wendy, hand on his hip. "They've got the guild mark. Look at them, we can't just leave them here." She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Fine." She holstered her gun and crouched down next to Gray, moving his hand out of the way and lifting Natsu's shirt to check the wound. It was jagged and messy, and blood was still pumping from it sluggishly. " _Drek._ I can't use magic out here – too dangerous." She reached around to the pack attached to her belt and rummaged through it, pulling out a white patch that looked like gauze and a small cylinder. "This'll do for now, I'll heal him when we get back."

Gray supported Natsu's head while Wendy pressed the cylinder to his neck. It made a hissing sound and the liquid drained from it. She shoved it back into her pack, then tore open the white bandage and pressed it to the wound. The material seemed to create a seal around the skin, preventing any more blood from escaping.

"All right, get them in the ship and we'll bring them back to the guild. But it's on your head if something goes sideways." Wendy put her hands on her hips, glaring at the other Natsu. "I'll go check the flatline, see if it's got anything to lift. I've got my speeder, I'll meet you back at base." Then she turned in the direction that the other Natsu indicated and stalked off.

"Sorry about her," other-Natsu said gently, kneeling down next to them. "She's just trying to keep us safe. We'd better scram, Magehunters'll be here soon. Can you carry him?" Gray nodded, hoisting Natsu into his arms and cringing at the feeling of sticky blood on his chest.

"Where are we..."

"We've got a craft. She isn't big, but we'll fit." Other-Natsu started making his way back across the rubble and Gray followed. "We're heading back to Fairy Tail."

* * *

Fairy Tail ended up being a sketchy-looking apartment building squeezed between a noodle stall and a liquor store. They landed the craft on the roof – other-Natsu explained that they used an invisibility lacrima on the ship to get around without being detected – and entered through an emergency access door. The whole building smelled like smoke and cheap beer.

"You're in Edolas."

Gray sat on an uncomfortable chair, a metal cup of something that almost tasted like tea in his hands. He had still been shivering when the tiny aircraft had landed at the guild's headquarters, so other-Natsu had lent him a heavy sweater.

"Edolas," Gray repeated, glancing down at the cot next to him. Natsu lay there, unconscious, forehead and stomach cleaned and healed by Wendy, who apparently had the same powers here than she had in their world. "So, it's a… like a parallel universe?"

"Something like that," Edolas-Natsu replied, dragging a chair over and sitting down across from Gray. He shrugged his jacket off, and Gray started when he saw that Edo-Natsu was missing his right arm from just above the elbow. He had the same guild mark as Gray's Natsu, but the bottom half of it was covered with a messy, raised scar. Edo-Natsu must have noticed Gray staring, because he glanced down and gave Gray a wry smile. "That's a Purge mark. Or part of one, anyway."

"What's…" Gray yelped as some of the hot liquid from his mug spilled over onto his hands. They were still shaking so badly that he could barely hold anything.

"Hey," Edo-Natsu said softly, reaching over and resting his hand on Gray's. "It's okay. It's a lot to take in."

"Fuck," Gray whispered, running a hand over his face. "I just… I can't wrap my head around it. Everything's so different. What happened to the guild? Why do you have guns? What happened to your eye? And your arm?" He felt himself start to hyperventilate. Edo-Natsu didn't reply, just left his hand on Gray's and squeezed gently.

"I dunno what it's like in your world, but magic is hunted here," Edo-Natsu said after a moment. He sat up, stretching, and Gray was struck again by how much _older_ he looked than his Natsu. Jaw more defined, shoulders broader, so many more scars. "Used to be that some people had it – were born with it. We joined guilds, took jobs, helped people. But a while back, Faust's son dusted his mom and sister with his magic, and everything went sideways." Edo-Natsu reached up and ran his fingers over the raised scar on his arm. "Faust tried to take the prince's magic away, but the prince used the Purging Stone as a spellgate and escaped through it, into another world. Magic was banned and Faust started hunting mages, taking us to the Acropolis and Purging us."

"So, you can't use magic at all, anymore?" Gray prodded the empty, sick feeling inside of him where his magic should be, and shuddered to think about that being a life sentence.

"I can, a bit." Edo-Natsu sighed. "I only got partially Purged, so I can do small spells." He held out a palm and summoned a flame in the center. "There's not many who can, though. Wendy's still got her magic, and Gajeel and Levy. Laxus and Freed. A few from the other guilds." He sighed sadly. "There's not many of us left anymore."

"What… where is everyone else?" Gray was almost afraid to ask. He looked over at Natsu again, feeling homesickness tighten his chest.

"Most got taken and Purged," Edo-Natsu said gently. "And some are dead." Gray closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath.

"Like… me?" He wasn't sure he wanted an answer to that question.

"... yeah." Edo-Natsu's voice was uncertain, and he kept his eyes on the floor. "You – he – saved my ass a few years ago." He let out a shaky breath. "We were on a mission to rescue a bunch of mages from the Acropolis. Op went sideways and he… he didn't make it." His voice caught on the last part, and Gray noticed him using his thumb to absently rub a ring on his left hand.

"You were..." Gray gestured to the ring, and regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. It was none of his business.

"Yeah." Edo-Natsu held his hand up a little and Gray got a better look at the ring – plain silver with something engraved across it. "It's hard, you looking so much like him." He sighed and ran his hand over his face.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry," Gray said quietly, wishing he could somehow change his face so he didn't remind Edo-Natsu of what he'd lost. "I- I shouldn't have... we shouldn't..."

"It's okay," Edo-Natsu replied, a small smile returning to his features. "I don't talk about him much anymore. It's not your fault." He sighed. "One day we'll get them back for what they've done."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Gray finally managing to finish his tea. He tucked his hands into the sleeves of the sweater, staring anxiously at Natsu.

"How old are you?" he asked suddenly, taking the conversation in an entirely different direction.

"Just turned twenty-five, why?" Edo-Natsu looked puzzled. Gray did some quick mental math and nodded his head.

 _"That's_ why you look older. In our world, we were kinda… frozen? For a bit." He recalled being woken from their time on Tenrou and seeing how the world had changed. "We were in a sort of stasis for seven years, so we didn't age. You did."

"Huh," Edo-Natsu said, looking over at his alter self curiously. "Haven't seen my face without this in a long time." He ran his finger over the deep scar that started above his eyebrow and ended halfway down his cheek.

As if he had heard them talking about him, Natsu began to stir. Gray reached over, grabbing his hand.

"Hey sunshine, how're you feeling?" he asked quietly. Natsu groaned, frowning and blinking a few times. He met Gray's eyes and smiled a bit, then saw his other self and let out a strange laugh.

"Ah, fuck, I thought I was dreaming." He let Gray help him into a sitting position, then pressed his hand over his stomach carefully. "Who healed me?"

"Wendy," Edo-Natsu replied cheerfully, standing up and moving to the small table at the other side of the room. He filled another mug with tea, then grabbed a small satchel from the metal box beside the kettle. "Can you hold this for me?" He came back to them and handed the mug to Natsu, then poured the contents of the satchel into the cup. "She said it'll help with the healing."

Natsu looked suspicious for a moment, gaze moving between the cup and his alter self, then shrugged and took a sip.

"If I'm gonna trust anyone, it might as well be me," he reasoned, and Gray sighed, sitting back in his chair. Edo-Natsu smiled.

"Look, I'm sorry again about Wendy," he said, drumming his fingers against his leg. "Cylon tech is getting more splash, so it's dangerous." He sighed. "We haven't ever seen an Otherworlder, so it was safe to assume you were chancy."

"But you knew about us?" Gray asked, frowning and trying to work through the unfamiliar words. "Knew about our universe, I mean."

"Yes and no," Edo-Natsu said, tilting his head from side to side. "We know dimension travel's possible, that's how Prince Je-"

"Natsu! Get out here, we've got a code yellow and might have to split, all hands." Wendy's voice came through the door, and Edo-Natsu jumped up immediately, hand going to his holster.

"Alright, you two _stay put_ and I _mean stay put_ , don't give me that look 'cause I know myself and I know what you're thinking," he growled. Natsu opened his mouth to protest but withered a bit under his doppelgänger's one-eyed glare. Gray tried not to smirk. "If we end up splitting, you'll wanna get under the bed and hold on, it can get bumpy. I'll come back when it's safe." With no further explanation, he pulled his pistol out of its holster, then turned and stalked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

"What the _fuck,"_ Natsu whispered as the door shut, setting his empty mug on the ground and pulling his knees to his chest. He looked terrified, and Gray didn't blame him. He gestured to the spot on the bed next to Natsu with his eyebrows raised, and Natsu nodded, shuffling over a bit.

"Apparently, we're somewhere called Edolas," Gray started, then proceeded to explain what Edo-Natsu had told him. Afterward, he waited hesitantly as Natsu sat there, staring at the floor with his arms around his knees. Gray wasn't sure whether to hug him or give him space. Sometimes Natsu wanted physical comfort, other times he pushed Gray's hands away.

"Fuck, I don't even know what to feel," Natsu whispered, solving Gray's dilemma by leaning into him and squirming until he was under Gray's arm. Gray made a soft sound and ran his fingers through Natsu's hair. They sat together for a while, listening for sounds from outside and breathing in tandem. After a while, Natsu asked, "were we _married_ here?"

Gray let out a puff of laughter. Of course Natsu would notice that.

"Yeah." Gray exhaled into Natsu's hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. He felt like crying.

"I can't imagine losing you," Natsu said quietly, reaching up and putting his hand over Gray's arm. "I can't..."

Whatever he was going to say was interrupted by a loud alarm. The entire room started shaking, and Gray tugged Natsu to the floor and rolled until they were both under the bed.

"I didn't realize he meant that the building was literally going to move!" Gray shouted over the rumbling, holding Natsu tightly to his chest. "I thought he meant the ship!"

Natsu yelled a reply but Gray couldn't hear it, could only focus on the tight, tugging feeling in his chest that got smaller and smaller until he almost couldn't breathe. Then, all at once, the feeling expanded, and everything fell apart.

* * *

"You survived your first jump!" Gray groaned at Edo-Natsu's cheery voice, releasing Nastu from his arms and rolling out from under the bed. He felt like he'd just spent an hour sparring with Erza. Edo-Natsu's face appeared above him, grinning widely, and he reached down his hand to help Gray to his feet.

"What... the _fuck..._ was that?" Natsu flopped onto his back on the floor, face still white from the experience. "I felt like I was being turned inside out!" Edo-Natsu laughed, pulling Natsu to his feet as well.

"That was us buggin' the hell out of our last hideout," Edo-Natsu replied. "Magehunters." He dug into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out two wrapped bars. "These taste like _drek,_ but you're probably hungry. We made the jump safe, just trying to recon where we landed. Wanna come meet everyone?"

Natsu and Gray didn't argue, taking the food bars from Edo-Natsu and following him down the hallway and a set of stairs. The bars were chewy but tasted bland, and Gray could see Natsu making faces as he bit into his.

The door at the bottom of the stairs opened up into a large room, lit from above with fluorescent bulbs. Along one wall ran a series of screen showing pictures of different people and places. There was a ratty-looking couch and several chairs arranged in a semicircle, and a ramshackle kitchen on the far side of the room. The wall that faced the street was almost transparent, and Gray could see people walking by outside.

"Everyone, meet my younger self and other-Gray." Edo-Natsu walked into the room confidently, waving to everyone like this wasn't the weirdest thing that had ever happened. Natsu backed up enough that he could grasp Gray's hand, and Gray squeezed it reassuringly.

"Frak me, it's you without that ugly-ass gash on your face." A familiar voice came from one of the couches, and a tall man with spiky black hair stepped towards them. _Gajeel_. He was dressed in a tight-fitting sleeveless shirt and black pants, and Gray could see that this version still had his various piercings. "And he's still got his arm, lucky him."

"Frag off," Edo-Natsu said mildly, flopping down on the couch and waving the stump of his right arm at the taller man. He then turned back to Gray and Natsu. "You two probably also know Levy and Lucy."

Lucy looked surprisingly similar to their own world's version, except for her outfit – a tight leather cropped top and baggy pants with pockets full of various tools. She had a pair of goggles on the top of her head, and she was currently inspecting a wall panel that was sparking and zapping.

"Heya," she said, expression flickering between interest and fear as it passed over them. Gray felt Natsu's hand tighten in his, and he could do nothing but wave weakly.

Levy, on the other hand, looked almost unrecognizable. Her hair was no longer blue, but a rainbow of colors, spiked up in a mohawk that ran down the center of her head. A pair of deep scars, almost identical to Edo-Natsu's, cut across each cheek and ended just below her lips. She had a black device tucked around her left ear that extended into a visor that floated just in front of her eye.

"They're blanks," she remarked, examining the screen in her hand.

"Of course they're blanks," Edo-Natsu grumbled, sitting up and leaning his arm against his leg. "They're not _from_ here. They're also _people_ and I'm sure they'd appreciate it if you all stopped acting like jackasses." Levy looked slightly guilty and flipped the visor up, looking at them properly.

"Hi. Sorry." She stood and put out her hand, which they both shook tentatively. Gajeel followed suit, but Lucy remained in the corner. "It's just weird, you lookin' like Gray and all. Or, being Gray, I guess."

"Sorry," Gray said quietly. He and Natsu both sat down uncomfortably on the couch, thighs pressed tightly together. The bar he just ate roiled in Gray's stomach, and he worried he was going to be sick.

"Laxus and Freed are out on doing recon, but they'll be back in a bit," Edo-Natsu explained. He kicked his feet up on the table, ignoring a glare from Levy.

"I got a positive ID on that flatliner you found." Wendy marched over to the group from where she'd been standing at the wall of screens. "This seems impossible, but he IDs as Prince Jellal." Edo-Natsu's feet immediately dropped back to the ground and he leaned forward, frowning.

"Prince?" Gray found, to his surprise, that his voice was working, and he winced a bit when everyone turned to stare at him. "He's... we have a Jellal in our world. But we thought this guy was just a- a shapeshifter or something."

"That's how we ended up here," Natsu added. "We were fighting him and got too close to his magic, and I guess he sucked us up with him." Everyone was staring at them with perplexed expressions, and it was Wendy who finally broke the silence.

"Looks like you're lucky you didn't end up like him, then." She looked down at the screen in her hand. "Deceleration trauma – not pretty." She glanced over at Natsu and Gray's puzzled expressions and elaborated. "Fell from a really high place." They both winced.

"So, does that mean somethin' important for us?" Gajeel's voice broke into the conversation. "Why'd he come back now? Or try to?" It took Gray a minute to realize that Gajeel was expecting him to answer.

"Oh, uh..." Gray stammered. "He, um, when he opened the portal he said something about... coming back to take what's his?" He looked to Natsu for confirmation and Natsu nodded. "We didn't have much intel on him, other than he looked like someone we knew and he was using weird teleportation magic."

"Jellal is the prince who escaped through the Purging Stone," Edo-Natsu explained quietly. Gray's frown deepened – this twisted version of Jellal was actually a prince from this universe who had been hiding in their world for the last fifteen years?

"So he was comin' back to fight Faust again an' botched it," Gajeel confirmed. "If he's worm food now, it's not our problem, yeah?"

"Unless he brought something else along with him," Wendy said suspiciously. She gave both Gray and Natsu a long, intimidating stare, and Gray felt his temper rising.

"We're not... in league with him, or something, if that's what you're insinuating," he growled, pushing himself to his feet. Wendy took a step back, eyes widening, and Gray immediately dropped his hands and looked around. "What?"

"Just been a long time since we've all heard that tone," Edo-Natsu said softly, tugging on Gray' sleeve until he slumped back on the couch. "And Wendy isn't saying anything like that, _is she_ , Wendy?" Wendy sighed and brought her hands up to rub her temples.

"No. Sorry." She dropped down onto the couch as well and tossed the datapad onto the table, flicking her wrist until it brought up a holographic 3D map. "We're just... stuck. Faust's got the Wall up around Imperium and the mainland, so there's no way to even get close anymore."

The map turned sideways and Gray could see a general outline of the area – a large expanse of land that curved around an island-city labelled Imperium. A dotted line traced what Wendy had called the Wall, and a pulsing blue dot showed the location of Fairy Tail.

"We've been trying to scrounge up enough creds to get more spellcubes," Edo-Natsu explained. "But the dealers have all gone to Undertown, which is inside the Wall. Nobody with magic can get in there, and they ident-scan at each entry point, so we're pretty much hooped on that front."

"What do you need spellcubes for?" Natsu asked quietly, and Wendy turned to him, giving him a contemplative look.

"Because innate magic doesn't work in Imperium, past the Wall," she replied slowly, tapping her fingers on her knee. "But spellcubes do. We've done it before." Gray noticed Edo-Natsu's face tighten.

"Done what before?" Natsu pressed.

"Last time we got in there, we rescued twenty-six prisoners and dusted nearly thirty Magehunters," Wendy replied, and Gray noticed that she was purposefully _not_ looking at Edo-Natsu. "We need to get back to Acropolis somehow and smuggle in as much tech as we can."

"What's in Acropolis?" Gray asked, feeling like the conversation was veering wildly into unfamiliar territory. Everything here was foreign, a puzzle that he didn't know how to put together, an unsettled feeling that left him sharp and frustrated.

"The Purging Stone," Edo-Natsu replied. His voice was hard, and he stared at his hand as he spoke. "Acropolis is where they take mages to Purge them. Where they torture them and imprison them and _murder_ them."

Edo-Natsu stood up, staring intently at the 3D map and running his thumb along the ring on his finger. The pain was clear on his face, and nobody else in the room made a move to speak. Eventually, Edo-Natsu turned to Wendy and gave her a hard, angry smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"We'll figure it out. We'll get the codes, and the spellcubes, and the armor and the weapons. And when we do... we're gonna burn that place to the ground."


	2. save yourself, i'll hold them back

_TW for violence, death, and graphic depiction of injuries_

* * *

 **Three Years Ago**  
Edolas

Natsu felt Gray's foot nudge his own, and he looked up to see Gray giving him a firm look. Right. He had to stop fidgeting. He gave a half-nod, then leaned back in his seat, wrists aching from the heavy anti-magic cuffs linked around them. His face was still stinging from the blow that had taken him down, dried blood caking his chin, but it had to look authentic. The ship droned beneath them, and he could just barely see the edge of the island-city of Imperium out of the window.

"They're asking for landing codes, sir." A voice came from the front of the ship and the large, heavily armored man who had been silently standing guard over them turned to reply. Natsu rubbed his ankle against Gray's again, a silent plea for reassurance. Gray flashed him a quick half-smile, then wiggled his hand. The light from the window caught the silver band on his finger, and Gray raised his eyebrows at Natsu as he looked at it.

 _When this is over, you're gonna marry me, okay?_ Gray had asked Natsu that morning, springing the question while they were still half-asleep and tangled in the sheets. _We're gonna frak these guys up and be heroes, and then we're gonna go find a justice in some little town and promise to be together forever._ Natsu tried not to grin at the memory, feeling the weight of a similar ring on his own finger.

"Get up." The large man – Lieutenant Colonel Joekel of the First Antimagic Battalion – returned to them and grabbed Natsu's arm, hoisting him none-too-gently to his feet. Natsu snarled at him and stumbled towards the doors of the craft.

The ship shuddered as it descended, then with a slight _bump_ they were on the ground. The doors hissed open, letting in fresh air, and Natsu was shoved forward into the landing area.

Everything here was flash – carbon and steel and crisp datascreens. None of the junky old dregs they'd had to patch together for their system back at Fairy Tail. Natsu admired it as he and Gray were ushered roughly out of the landing bay and into a hallway. As the doors slid shut behind them, Natsu began to tense up. This was real now. There was no going back.

"Breathe." Gray's voice was in his ear for just a moment before Natsu stumbled forward, turning to glare at the Magehunter who had shoved him. He took Gray's advice and inhaled deeply, running his thumb over the ridge of the ring on his finger. The EMP device was still hidden – he could feel the near-microscopic chip under his thumbnail like an unwanted sliver. Hibiki had been right about it being small enough to pass undetected through the scanners. Natsu made a mental note not to doubt the techmage again.

"Take them to the holding cells," Joekel ordered. They had reached the end of a hallway that forked off in two directions, and directly in front of them was... Natsu swallowed, hearing the thrum of energy even from here. He could barely see through the door past Joekel's massive frame, but even if he couldn't catch glimpses of the enormous Purging Stone, he could _feel_ it. It made his teeth ache. How many mages had that stone destroyed? How much magic had it taken?

"Focus." Gray again, this time managing to touch Natsu's elbow even with his bound hands. Natsu shivered, forcing himself to stand straight and not lean into the touch. The guards behind them nudged them with their weapons, and both Natsu and Gray made a show of being angry before turning left and continuing down the hall. After a moment, a door to their left slid open, and they entered a small, sterile space with another door on the other side.

"Place your hands against the wall and don't move." A large man at the desk – the chief of security, judging by the emblem on his jacket – droned at them. Natsu shivered, reaching up and placing his manacled hands against the indicated markings on the wall. This was it. They had gone over the plan hundreds of times, but now that they were here, in Acropolis, with the threat of being Purged held over their heads, it was a lot more intimidating. Natsu closed his eyes and exhaled slowly.

 _Five... four... three... two... one._ He pinched the chip under his fingernail, and for a horrifyingly long moment, nothing happened. Then everything went dark.

Natsu felt his magic rush back into him as the EMP wave flooded outward, overloading the cuffs around his wrists. He spun around immediately, flames dancing from his fingertips to overwhelm the guards behind him while Gray leaped over to the security chief, forming an ice dagger and holding it to his throat.

"Retinals or scancards?" Gray growled as the man struggled against him. Gray pressed the dagger down harder and blood welled up around the tip, dripping down the man's neck. "If I need your eyes, I'll cut them out of your frakkin' head." _T'che,_ Gray could be scary when he wanted to be.

"Take it," the chief growled, ripping his security card from his belt and handing it to Gray. "You won't make it out of here. It will be amusing to watch you-" Gray rolled his eyes, pulling the chief's stun gun from his belt and shoving it into his neck. The guard seized violently, then fell to the floor in a twitching mess.

"He's lucky I didn't put this into his brain," Gray muttered, letting the dagger dissolve. Natsu placed a gentle hand on Gray's arm and he sighed, leaning over and kissing Natsu quickly. "We'd better get going. I'll pull up those maps, you get the cubes."

Natsu nodded, settling himself into the chief's seat and closing his eyes, breathing deeply. This was the integral part of the plan that he couldn't, _couldn't_ mess up.

 _If you know what you're looking for, it will give you what you need._

Erza's words rung in Natsu's head as he tried to focus, feeling for that extra dimensional space where she stored her requip gear. Gods, he wished she was doing this instead of him. He hoped to hell that she was in one of the cells they were about to liberate, and not dead.

The space opened up to him, slowly, and he reached out a hand, feeling around for the spellcubes. He could feel blood trickling from his nose again at the effort of opening this tiny portal – how the hell did she do it so easily?

"Natsu, hurry it up…" Gray's voice was tight and Natsu was sure he could see incoming guards on the security screens. Natsu nodded, squeezing his eyes shut in concentration. Just… a little…

"Got 'em!" he shouted, pulling his hand out and releasing the portal. He gasped as pain flooded through his temples, but he didn't have time to catch his breath as Gray hoisted him from the chair.

"All of them?" Gray asked. Natsu looked down at his palm. Seven tiny spellcubes rested there – three red, four bluish-silver. Natsu grinned.

"Ready to get the hell outta here?"

* * *

The first 'port was easy enough – both of them grasped one of the silver-blue cubes, focusing on the location displayed on Gray's newly acquired datapad. As soon as the spell activated, Natsu dropped one of the explosive cubes, leaving a nasty surprise behind for whoever was currently banging down the door.

They reappeared right inside the first prison cell. Natsu stumbled a bit, and Gray grabbed his shirt to steady him. 'Porting spells always made Natsu nauseous – not unlike riding the maglevs.

"Frak me, you two idiots actually made it." Natsu turned around and was overjoyed to see a familiar figure making her way towards them.

"Erza!" he shouted, flinging himself at her and hugging her tightly. It was only then that he noticed the Purge mark on her arm. "Frak, I'm so sorry we couldn't get here sooner." She shook her head, clasping his arms gently.

"I'd rather be Purged and alive than a dead mage," she said softly. "I'm so proud of you two."

"All right, we don't have much time, everyone get over here," Gray called out. They'd timed this down to the second. The doors of the prison were starting to slide open, and he turned and blasted an ice barrier over them to keep out the guards. "All hands on the cube, or on someone touching the cube." The group of prisoners – around fifteen mages, some Natsu recognized, some he didn't – shuffled forward, eyes filled with hope and trepidation.

"We have a craft waiting just outside Louen," Natsu said to Erza as she strode over to the group. Even with the nasty scarring from the Purge and her dirty prison outfit, she still managed to command the room. "Levy's piloting – she knows to wait for us."

"All right. Only other cell is block B7, down the other side of the Purging Stone," Erza said. Gray nodded, tapping the datapad.

"We'll blow this one, pop there, then catch you at the landing pad." He gave a wry grin, then grabbed Natsu's hand, pulling him away from the group. "Go!" The cube in the center of the group began to dissolve, pieces of magic traveling along everyone touching it, and after a second they were gone.

Just as they disappeared, the guards broke through Gray's ice, shards of it spraying back into the room. Gray tossed one of the red cubes towards them, watching it start to burst into flames as he and Natsu disappeared.

The second prisoner block was a scene of chaos.

"Son of a bitch," Gray whispered. Something had gone wrong in their calculations – the guards weren't supposed to be here yet. They had already entered the room and were preparing to drop the energy barrier that separated them from the prisoners. Gray quickly iced the panel over, then turned to Natsu and shoved him toward the group of prisoners in the back. "Get them ready to jump."

"Not so fast," a low, deadly voice growled from the other side of the barrier. Gray turned to see Joekel, grinning darkly at them and holding out a small, red stone. "You two are going to give me the perfect opportunity to test this." He raised the stone and pointed it directly at Gray.

"Get down!" Natsu grabbed Gray and threw him to the ground. Immediately the smell of burning flesh and the sound of anguished screaming filled his ears. Natsu realized after a second that the sound was coming from him.

"Natsu!" Gray's voice was frantic. Natsu rolled over and immediately threw up, chest shaking and back heaving from the pain. Beside him, Gray threw up an ice wall between them and Joekel. "Natsu, look at me, c'mon."

Natsu had taken the blast on his right forearm, and the skin was rapidly turning black and beginning to peel away. In one area, the flesh had been eaten away almost down to the bone. The pain was agonizing, and Natsu felt his vision darkening at the edges.

"Natsu, you have to use your flames to cauterize it." Gray's face swam in and out of his field of vision. Natsu blinked, wishing he could stop screaming, could stop the bone-deep pain that was spreading up his arm. He couldn't breathe, nothing but pain, pain, pain. "Natsu! Get it together!" A sharp slap on his cheek brought him back to reality momentarily, and he blinked. "Burn it or you're gonna lose your arm!"

"Gnnnngggn…" Natsu ground out a pained sound from between his teeth, but forced himself to keep his eyes open. He reached his left hand across and placed it over the wound, and a burst of flames erupted from his palm. He cried out again as the flesh blistered and burned.

"You're gonna be okay," Gray whispered, and Natsu felt Gray lift him up and dash over to the group of prisoners. He was handed off to someone else, and his head lolled back against their chest. "Everyone has to be touching, it takes a minute to power up." Gray was handing the spellcube over to whoever was holding Natsu. "Get him to a clinic as soon as you can."

"G… ray…" Natsu groaned, delirious with pain. He reached out for Gray and Gray clasped his hand, leaning over to kiss his forehead. "Wha…"

"I can't come," Gray whispered, voice breaking. There was a crash behind him, and Natsu could see the energy barrier powering down. "I have to buy you enough time to get away. Be strong. I'll find you."

"Gray, n-no," Natsu pleaded, grasping his hand tightly. Gray shook his head, tears spilling down his cheeks. "Please…"

"I have to keep you safe," Gray whispered, voice thick. "You have to go now. I love you so much." As he tore his hand from Natsu's and turned to face Joekel, Natsu lost the ability to breathe.

"Gray!" he screamed, watching helplessly as his partner stormed toward Joekel, desperately pushing up another barrier between them. Joekel sliced through it easily with his energy sword. The spellcube hummed to life behind Natsu and he struggled against the arms holding him, ignoring the searing pain in his arm. "GRAY!"

Gray turned to him and raised his hand out as if in farewell. A dome of ice suddenly began to form around the group, growing upward from the ground. The last thing Natsu saw of Gray was Joekel reaching out and grabbing him by the throat, and then the spell took effect and they were gone.

* * *

"…can't save it, it's completely necrotic…"

Natsu groaned, trying to open his eyes. He was lying on the floor. Everything felt so far away. Pain lanced through his arm, making him scream out and arch his back.

"…tried to cauterize but it's still spreading, we'll have to amputate…"

The floor shook underneath him, a low hum telling him he was in a craft of some kind. He managed to open his eyes for long enough to see bright red hair, a worried face – Erza.

"…can't wait or it'll kill him, hold him down…"

Then there were hands on his shoulders and legs and stomach that he couldn't struggle against. He whined in confusion, and then – then there was nothing but pain.

* * *

When Natsu opened his eyes, he immediately recognized the guild's "infirmary" – a bedroom with three cots and a box of medical supplies. Erza was sitting in a chair next to his bed, eyes closed and head tipped forward. As soon as Natsu moved, she started and looked up at him.

"Careful," she said, voice raspy. "Let me help you." Numbly, Natsu allowed her to put her arm around his back, tilting him into a sitting position. Something was wrong. His arm ached and his mouth was dry, and he knew he was forgetting something…

"Gray?" A panicked feeling festered in Natsu's chest, mind desperately trying to recall what had happened, what had gone wrong. He looked down at his arm and- "What… wh…"

"Deep breaths, Natsu," Erza said gently, but he couldn't follow her directions. His arm was gone. Everything from just above the elbow was _gone_ , stump bandaged and tied off just below his guild mark. Half of the mark was also destroyed – replaced by the same thick scar tissue that Erza had on her shoulder. "We had to amputate it. You got hit by some sort of necrotic blast, the magic was eating away at your skin and bone and there was no way to stop it. If we hadn't removed it, you would have died."

 _Maybe that would have been better_ , Natsu thought, starting to feel dizzy. He swung his legs over the side of the bed, ignoring the nauseous feeling in his stomach.

"You should take it easy, you lost a lot of blood," Erza cautioned, but didn't try to stop Natsu when he pushed himself to his feet. He swayed unsteadily for a moment, and she let him grasp her shoulder for balance. "Natsu, you should sit back down. A lot has happened."

"Gray's still there," Natsu gasped, memories flooding back to him. He squeezed his eyes shut, moving to cover his face before realizing that he no longer had a right hand. The memories were sharp, hard and terrifying. "We have to go back."

Natsu stumbled towards the door, pushing Erza away when she tried to help him. The dizziness came in waves, blackness around the edges of his vision, but he pushed through it, forcing himself out the door and to the stairs.

"Natsu, please, listen to me." Erza's voice was pleading, she pushed past him and stood at the bottom of the steps, hands in front of her. "Gray is gone."

Natsu snarled at her, stumbling down and falling into her arms. She helped him stand, grasping his shoulders and touching his face gently. He tried to pull away and head for the common room door but she wouldn't let him.

"Everyone is in there right now. Do you want to see them like this?" Her voice held that familiar commanding tone, and it halted Natsu for a second. He looked back at her again, eyes wide as her previous words hit him.

"Gone?" Everything went blurry for a moment and he backed up against the wall, tasting copper in his mouth from where he'd bitten his tongue. Natsu slid down into a sitting position, knees up against his chest. "I saw… he's there, we can… with more 'port c-cubes…"

"Natsu." Erza crouched down in front of him, tipping his chin up to look at her. "I'm so sorry. Gray saved so many people, and he is a hero to everyone he got out of those prisons." Natsu could see now that her eyes were red-rimmed and full of pain.

"But…" he protested weakly. "Maybe they- he's just in prison. Like…" Erza shook her head.

"Imperium put out a holo," she said shakily, looking at the ground between Natsu's feet. "They executed him last night."

Natsu stopped breathing. Erza was still talking, but the sound was far away, and it felt like he was seeing everything from deep underwater. Every breath he took echoed in his ears and they were coming sharper, faster, louder…

"Natsu, please, look at me," Erza begged, and he raised his head slowly, not realizing that he had been shouting. "I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she sobbed.

Natsu vaguely acknowledged that someone else was in the room now – Gajeel, apparently – and that he was attempting to help Natsu up and carry him back to the infirmary. Natsu lashed out at him, scrambling back down the hallway and storming into the command center.

"Wha-" Wendy stood in the corner of the room, eyes scanning reports and media on the vidscreens. Natsu leaned against one of the computer terminals, panting and trying to ignore the pain where his arm had been.

"Show me," he demanded, voice breaking, and Wendy gave him a heartbroken look.

"No, Natsu," she said softly, coming over to him and placing a hand on his cheek. "Please, you don't want to see it." He shook off her comforting touch, biting down a sob that was pressing its way up his throat.

"Please, I have to, I need- I can't…" He knew he wasn't making any sense, but Wendy nodded sadly at him, guiding him to a chair and handing him a datapad.

"Are you sure?" she asked quietly, and Natsu snatched the datapad from her hand, feeling hot tears at the corners of his eyes. His face felt tight, and he gestured for her to go.

"Leave me alone," he whispered. "Please."

There was a pause, and then the sound of footsteps and the click of the door closing. Natsu let out the sob then, feeling it burst from his chest like something living. Gray had promised to find him. He couldn't be dead.

The holo was titled _Infamous Terrorist Gray Fullbuster Executed for Treason_. Natsu tapped it with a trembling hand, watching numbly as a woman's voice spoke over an image of Gray.

"The AntiMagic Division caught wanted terrorist Gray Fullbuster today after he brazenly broke into the Acropolis, setting off bombs that killed more than twenty-five security personnel," the woman said. "He managed to release several other dangerous criminals, who are being hunted by the Antimagic Battalion as we speak." The image changed to a video of the Acropolis, where Gray was being forced to his knees by two Magehunters. Joekel stood behind him, pistol in hand. "Viewer discretion is advised for the rest of this clip as it does contain graphic content."

Natsu nearly hit stop, nearly threw the datapad across the room, but some tiny part of him refused to believe that Gray was gone until… _oh. No._ Joekel brought the gun to rest on the back of Gray's head, then leaned forward and spoke to Gray, who spit on the ground. Then Joekel's finger tightened on the trigger, and Gray slumped forward, unmoving.

"The AntiMagic division is hoping that this public display of discipline will help to deter further terrorist..." the voice continued, but Natsu flipped the datapad off and threw it on the desk. Tears pressed at the back of his eyes again, and he struggled to inhale against the pressure in his chest.

"Gray…" he sobbed, clenching his fist and realizing that he still wore his ring. He brought it to his cheek, pressing the cool metal into his skin and letting out a mournful cry. They were supposed to be together. Gray had _promised_.

"Hey," Erza whispered, crouching down next to the chair. Natsu hadn't heard her come in. "Why don't you come back upstairs, you need to sleep."

Natsu shook his head, face buried in his arm, and let out another sob, and then another, and another, and soon he was crying so hard his whole body ached. Erza pulled him down to the ground and into her arms, stroking his hair as he mourned.

"I don't… I cant…" he gasped, and she kissed his head, holding him tightly against her.

"I know," she whispered, her own voice rough with tears. "I know, I'm so sorry."

They sat like that for what felt like hours, until Natsu's face was red and swollen and his head was pounding.

"I'm gonna kill him," Natsu said eventually. His voice was shaky but determined. "I'm gonna make it back there, and I'm gonna dust that whoreson, and he's gonna regret ev-ev-ever…" He rubbed his face with the back of his hand.

"We'll get our revenge," Erza agreed, standing slowly and helping Natsu to his feet. He swayed unsteadily and she caught him by the elbow. "Right now, you're going to sleep. But tomorrow we're gonna start planning the next attack, and we're not gonna stop 'til Joekel and Faust both have a bolt in their brains." top 'til Joekel and Faust both have a bolt in their brains."


	3. may death find you alive

Rain pounded down on the ground, picking up the dirt and splashing it in rivulets up Natsu's boots. He was huddled behind the guild building with Edo-Lucy, who was currently half-underneath a hovertruck that had been pulled under a makeshift awning.

"Pass me the pink wrench." She slid out from underneath the truck, face streaked with mud, and reached her hand out to Natsu. He glanced at the toolkit next to him and passed her what looked like a socket wrench with a pink stripe down the handle. "Thanks."

"What do the colors mean?" he asked curiously, crouching down to try and see under the vehicle. There was a spark and a brief flash of magic, and Lucy cursed under her breath. "You okay?"

"Fine, spirit's just not cooperating with me today," she grumbled. "C'mon, you little… got it!" Another flood of magic, this time gentler, and something clicked into place.

"Your tools are magic?" Natsu asked as she handed the wrench back to him. He slid it back into the box and helped her to her feet, then shook the rain from his hair. He was soaked.

"It's tech magic," Lucy replied, wringing out her ponytail. She hopped up into the driver's seat of the hovertruck and turned it on, nodding in satisfaction as it hummed to life. "The tools house… they're like spirits. The can each talk to different kinds of machines, help them work again." She pressed her palm against the control panel and the truck powered down. "What kind of magic do I use in your world?"

Lucy was much friendlier today than she had been yesterday. She seemed to have gotten over her initial reluctance to interact with Natsu and Gray, so when she'd invited Natsu to come help her fix the truck this morning, he'd accepted readily. It had been odd at first, but Natsu felt like he was starting to get used to it.

"You use celestial magic," he replied, grabbing the box and following her as she hopped out of the truck and around to the back door of the building. They made their way in through the narrow entrance, then down the hallway to the storage area next to the common room. "It's still spirits, just not for tech."

"Hm." Lucy took the toolbox from Natsu and set it along the wall. Grabbing two towels from the rack, she tossed one to Natsu, then used the other to dry her hair. "Is it very different here?"

"Yes," Natsu replied immediately. "Not- I don't mean it's better or worse," he added hurriedly, even though here was _absolutely_ worse, "but it's… you're a stranger. No offense. And my Lucy is my best friend."

Natsu rubbed the fabric of the towel between his fingers, the fear of never getting back and seeing his friends again flooding through him like a wave. He missed home.

"It's weird for everyone," Lucy replied gently. She sighed, pulling her now mostly-dry hair back into a ponytail. "I'm sorry we're all so hard on you. It's hard to see… well, you two look like them before the mission."

"What happened?" Natsu asked hesitantly. Lucy sighed, leaning against the wall.

"It was a rescue op to Acropolis that went bad," Lucy said eventually. "Natsu got hit with a blast from an experimental form of the Purging Stone, and it started just… eating away at his skin and bone. They had to amputate his arm to save him. Gray stayed behind to give everyone time to get away, and the next day Faust had him executed." Natsu's stomach dropped. "They put out a holo, it was…" she sighed. "Erza left after that, said she was going back to Undertown to get people together to take down Faust. Before we could go after her, Faust put up the Wall, and now we're stuck here."

"They executed him?" Natsu whispered.

"Bolt to the back of the head," Lucy said softly, eyes on the ground. "It was a public execution. They hoped it would 'deter further acts of terrorist violence' if people saw what happened to him." Natsu's stomach twisted, imagining his alter self watching his partner die.

"Fuck, I'm so sor-" Lucy held up her hand, shaking her head.

"Don't. It's not your fault." She gave him a half-smile, then pushed herself off the wall, stretching her arms over her head. "Let's go see if any of these idiots has come up with a plan." She grabbed Natsu's arm and dragged him towards the common area, shoving the door open and wandering over to where Edo-Natsu, Gray and Freed were gathered by the screens. "What are you assholes up to?"

"Terrorism," Edo-Natsu replied blithely from his position next to Gray, and there was an awkward moment where nobody knew if they should laugh.

"I don't think these two have been here long enough for that kind of humor," Lucy chided, and Edo-Natsu stuck his tongue out at her.

"Fiiiine. How's the truck?" Lucy gave him the thumbs up, then leaned against the table next to him. Natsu slid up next to Gray and nudged him gently with his shoulder. They'd both agreed to avoid being overly affectionate around Edo-Natsu, which made being in this strange place even harder.

The door behind them opened again and Laxus walked through, balancing two mugs of coffee and some of the flat, bread-like substance they'd eaten for breakfast. He made his way over to Freed, and shot Natsu and Gray a dirty look.

"Don't be a prick." Edo-Natsu glared at Laxus as he handed a cup of coffee to Freed.

"It's just not… right," Laxus grumbled. "Why doesn't it bother you? It should bot-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Edo-Natsu was on the other side of the table, grabbing Laxus by the throat and shoving his head back against the wall. Lucy and Freed made no move to intervene – in fact, both looked casually disinterested.

"Don't you _dare_ tell me how I should feel," Edo-Natsu growled. "You got no clue what the hell you're talking about."

"They shot him… in the head," Laxus ground out around Edo-Natsu's fingers on his throat. Natsu felt Gray stiffen beside him, and he grabbed Gray's hand reassuringly. "H-how can you… look at him?"

"I _know_ what they did to him," Edo-Natsu whispered, dropping Laxus to the floor. "I watched the holo, same as you." Natsu glanced up at Gray, wondering if they should get the hell out of here. This conversation didn't belong to them. "This isn't the same person," Edo-Natsu continued. "He didn't kill _my_ Gray. And they're helping us do what he would have wanted, so shut your frakkin' mouth and play nice or I'll make you regret it."

Laxus sat on the floor, rubbing his neck petulantly while Freed smirked at him. Edo-Natsu continued glaring down at him until he rumbled out an indignant, "fine, sorry."

"That's better." Edo-Natsu reached down and helped Laxus to his feet. "Now, let's focus." He returned to his place beside the table, flashing Natsu and Gray a smile.

Natsu looked down at the table. In the center, a 3D hologram of the area was lit up in various colors. The island-city of Imperium was in the northeast corner, surrounded on three sides by the mainland and separated from it by thirty kilometers of ocean. Louen, the closest city to their current location, rested directly on the edge of the mainland at the peak of a high cliff.

"This is where Undertown is," Edo-Natsu explained, pointing at Louen and swiping the hologram until they could see a mockup of an underground area. "It's sort of a haven for the Purged. When they take your magic, they take your SINchip too – it's an identity implant with all your information. Without it, you're a blank. You're not a person."

"If you're not a person, you can't get a job," Lucy continued, hands on her hips. "So most Purged end up in Undertown, working in the brothels or the arenas or running drugs. Glitterfolk – the rich people from Louen and Imperium – use it like a tourist attraction. It's a thrill for them."

"That's awful," Gray said softly. "This might be a stupid question, but why don't the Purged leave? Come back here?" Edo-Natsu's face hardened.

"The Wall got put up a few days after… after Gray died," he explained. "There's armed guards at all the checkpoints, and they scan your SINchip if you want in. Nobody goes out." He leaned back and grabbed his coffee from the table, sipping it contemplatively. "Plus, everything costs creds, and they won't take hacked credcards, which leaves everyone in Undertown pretty much frakked."

"But there's a Resistance there?" Natsu tapped his fingers against his thigh, a plan formulating in his head. "That's what Erza went to start, right?"

"Mm," Laxus grunted affirmatively. "There's lots of dirty goods down there. Weapons, spellcubes, fake SINchips – all stuff they could use to take Faust down. Erza wanted to destroy the Purging Stone – that's what might get you two home, though. So we need to get to her before she blows it."

"If she can at all," Freed added, running a hand through his close-cropped hair. "Getting into the Acropolis is going to be next to impossible. The only way to get to the island is a ship or the maglev, and they ident-scan everywhere."

"Why don't we leave that part of the plan to them," Edo-Natsu suggested gently, tapping on the map in front of them. "We gotta focus on figuring out how to get past the Wall."

"You said nobody with magic can get through it, right?" Natsu leaned forward and examined the dotted line that indicated the barrier.

"Mhmm," Lucy said, pointing to three open sections on the map. "There's three gates, and they're guarded, but even walking through there would kill a mage. The barrier's some kind of tech they developed from experimenting on magic-users." Natsu shuddered. "We can't use magic within a hundred feet of it either, so we can't bomb it or anything – unless we had spellcubes, which are conveniently on the other side."

"But _we_ could get through it," Natsu said, gesturing to himself and Gray. "We don't have our magic."

"You don't have SINchips, though," Freed argued, tapping his fingers on the table. "They scan everyone when they walk through the gate. They'd flag you as blanks and take you straight to Imperium."

"But what if we _got_ SINchips?" Gray interjected. "How hard is it to remove one from someone?" Edo-Natsu looked at him, contemplating the question.

"They're implanted here," he said, holding his hand out for Lucy to point at the webbing between his thumb and index finger. "It wouldn't be too hard to cut them out."

"So what if we drew some of the Magehunters out," Gray said slowly. "Set a few bombs off, made some noise… they would send someone, right?"

"And we could dust 'em and take their chips!" Edo-Natsu exclaimed, suddenly full of energy.

"The problem remains – you still look like a wanted Purge and a dead man," Freed interjected. "Even with the chips, you'd never make it past the guards." Gray sighed, but Natsu put a hand on his shoulder.

"Leave that part to me."

* * *

It took longer than expected to lure the Magehunters to their position. Laxus and Freed did their best, lighting up random abandoned villages or raiding larger towns for supplies, always brazenly using their magic. After three weeks, Gray was starting to lose hope that the plan would work.

He sat in the common area of the guild, flipping through the datapad on his lap – he and Natsu weren't allowed to leave the building, both because he could be recognized and because they were necessary for the next step of the plan. Gray was getting antsy, though. He could only read so much before he wanted to throw the datapad across the room.

Footsteps pounded down the stairs and the common room door slammed open. Edo-Natsu and Wendy stumbled in, both bleeding from various places. Edo-Natsu had a giant smile on his face, and held out a small plastic box.

"We got 'em!" he shouted triumphantly. Wendy sighed, pushing him down to sit on the couch and running her hand over the cut on his shoulder.

"Are you guys okay?" Gray asked, taking the box from Edo-Natsu and peering into it. Two tiny bits of tech sat inside, barely visible unless he held them close to his face. "Did you…"

"We're fine. There were only two – it was a close scrap, but we dusted 'em," Edo-Natsu replied, wincing as Wendy's healing magic knitted a cut on his cheek back together. Up close, Gray could see that while they were both battered and bruised, neither of them had sustained serious injuries. "Lucky they were both about your size – uniforms are in the bag." Edo-Natsu pointed to the rucksack that Wendy had deposited on the floor. "Where's Natsu?"

"Still working with Gajeel," Gray responded, setting the box on the table and opening the rucksack. He had learned a few weeks back that these bags magically held more inside that what seemed possible from the outside, so he was unfazed when he managed to pull out two full sets of armor. The Magehunters wore tactical gear – thick leg and chest-guards, covered by a jacket with a hood. He held one out in front of him, taking in the size.

"This should work," he murmured. "I'd better let Natsu know and see if his part of the plan's done."

Finding Natsu wasn't hard – he and Gajeel were holed up in an area that the guild referred to as 'the workshop'. It was full of junk they'd salvaged from various ruined cities, and gear they'd lifted from dead bodies. Natsu and Gajeel were leaning over a workbench, and Gajeel was using his magic to bend a piece of steel around a mixture of powder and green chalk.

"We got the SINchips," Gray said, coming up behind Natsu and kissing him on the cheek. Natsu sighed in relief, rubbing his eyes.

"Grenades are almost done," he said, gesturing to the pile of round, metal objects next to him. "Most are just smoke bombs, but a couple have lightning in them. Freed bound some of Laxus' magic to the metal, hopefully they'll work near the Wall."

Gajeel finished manipulating the metal and handed the final grenade off to Natsu, who began to set them in a crate, stacking them carefully.

"This plan of yours is mental," Gajeel grumbled, leaning against the counter. "Glad it's you two going and not me. No offense." Gray shrugged.

"We don't have much of a choice," he said softly. "It's that or be stuck here forever, which isn't particularly appealing." He shot a look at Gajeel. "No offense." Gajeel snorted.

"All right you two, get in here so we can implant those chips!" Levy's voice rang out from down the hallway and Gray sighed. Natsu lifted the brought the box out to the foot of the stairs before heading into the common area.

Having the SINchip implanted in his hand made Gray feel queasy – he made the mistake of looking down while Levy injected it, and the sight of the tech sliding under his skin made him want to throw up. He swallowed hard against the nausea creeping up from his stomach.

"You'll have to cut it out once you're past the Wall," Freed explained. "Hopefully you make it there. They'll likely report it as stolen almost immediately." Gray nodded, looking over at Natsu, who already had his chip and was letting Lucy apply a dark powder to his hair. It covered the pink almost perfectly, leaving him with unremarkable brown hair that flopped over his eyes.

"You got everything?" Edo-Natsu stood in the doorway, dressed to travel with a bag slung over his shoulder. Louen was a three-hour drive from the guild's current location, and Edo-Natsu had offered to take them there in the hovertruck.

"Yeah, I think so," Gray said. The bag beside Gray was stuffed with clothes that would help them blend into Undertown, several bottles of clean water, a few processed food bars, more of the hair powder for Natsu, an encrypted datapad, and something Edo-Natsu had called a credcard that apparently had some kind of currency on it. Gray finished adjusting the Magehunter cloak over his shoulders, then stood and slung the bag over his shoulder.

"Good luck," Laxus said, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're gonna need it."

"You're not _helping_ ," Levy grumbled, hitting him with one of her gloves. She looked at Gray, tipping her visor over her eye. "Looks like it's working. Gray's showing as Caleb Dean, twenty-three, lives at the barracks on Chanyeng row..." She turned her head to Natsu. "And you're Tellum Frey, twenty-six... looks like you're allergic to shellfish." Natsu snorted, snapping the last part of his uniform's legplate in place and standing.

"We'll get it memorized on the way," Gray said, feeling uncomfortable under everyone's scrutiny. "We'll get to Erza as quick as we can and see what we can to do help. Hopefully we can figure out a way to take the Wall down and get you guys in."

"I hope you make it home safe," Wendy said in an uncharacteristically gentle voice. "I'm sure everyone there misses you." Gray's chest felt heavy, thinking of everyone that Wendy had lost and would never see again.

"Let's get going," Edo-Natsu interrupted, tipping his head toward the stairs. "We wanna travel while it's still dark and the sun's up in six hours."

"Thank you for everything," Gray said, looking around at the ragtag group. "Sorry for... y'know." He gestured at his face.

"Natsu's right, it isn't your fault," Laxus grumbled, reaching over and grasping Gray's shoulder. "Sorry for being an ass." Gray nodded silently, feeling like he might cry. "Now get outta here."

* * *

The ride to Louen was uneventful. Gray sat in the back of the truck, sprawled across both seats and flicking through the datapad. He'd read over every piece of research that the guild had done on the Wall, the Magehunters, and Undertown, but he went over it again, trying to commit everything to memory. He could hear both Natsus in the front seat conversing quietly but didn't join the conversation.

Eventually, they came up near the edge of the sparsely wooded area they'd been travelling through, and Edo-Natsu powered the truck down. In the distance, Gray could see Louen, lit up like stars under the blanket of night. He sat up slowly, stretching and hopping out of the truck.

"Grenades," Natsu said quietly, pointing to the crate. They both began gently loading the metal contraptions in to the pocks of the Magehunter jackets. Natsu pulled a thick square of fabric out of the bag, reaching over and tying it behind Gray's neck.

"It's a straight shot down this path," Edo-Natsu said quietly, handing them one of the round alchemical lanterns that had been sitting in the back seat. "You remember everything? Anything we need to go over?"

"I think we've got it," Natsu replied, reaching over and clasping Edo-Natsu's hand. Edo-Natsu shook his head, pulling Natsu into a tight hug, then turned to Gray and hugged him as well.

"Good luck, guys," he whispered, pulling back from Gray. "And thanks."

"Thank _you_ ," Gray replied. "And I'm sorry for everything." He stepped back and the two of them looked at each other for a moment, then dropped their gaze simultaneously. Gray felt a twist of guilt in his stomach.

"I'm gonna give you guys a minute," Natsu said softly. He pressed a kiss to Gray's cheek and took the datapad, then wandered ahead along the path. Gray sighed, then turned back to Edo-Natsu.

"Are you okay?" he asked when he saw Edo-Natsu's expression. Edo-Natsu was breathing shakily, and it looked like he was trying hard not to cry.

"I... I just..." Edo-Natsu squeezed his eyes shut and ran his hand over his face, sighing deeply. "I'm probably never going to- to see you again. And I know you're not... mine... and..." He broke off, swallowing heavily and pressing his ring against his lips. "I just miss him so much," he whispered after a moment. "I d-didn't get to say g-goodbye." Gray's heart twisted, and he stepped forward, placing a hand on Edo-Natsu's arm.

"I'm so sorry," Gray said softly. "I wish I could bring him back. I wish I could be him for you." He pulled Edo-Natsu into another hug. Gray felt tears on his shoulder, and he ran a hand through Edo-Natsu's hair, just like his did with his own Natsu.

"Is it..." Edo-Natsu broke the embrace slowly, sniffing and refusing to meet Gray's eyes. "Would it be... I mean... I know it's not..."

Gray exhaled softly, reaching up to touch Edo-Natsu's chin. He ran his fingers over the rough, scarred cheek, watching Edo-Natsu's eye flutter shut at the touch. Slowly, Gray leaned in and pressed their lips together.

Edo-Natsu made a soft, desperate sound, bringing his hand up to brush through Gray's hair. He kept the kiss chaste – soft and gentle – but Gray could feel the emotion he poured into it. After a moment Edo-Natsu broke away, pressing their foreheads together.

"Goodbye," Gray whispered, wishing he could fix this somehow. Edo-Natsu smiled, letting go of Gray and wiping at his face with the back of his hand.

"Goodbye," he murmured, stepping back and gesturing for Gray to follow his own Natsu. "Just... make sure you tell him, okay? Every day. Don't let it be too late." Gray felt his own tears spilling out and running down his face, and he nodded, crossing his arms over his stomach. "Go. Make it home. Be happy."

"Thank you," Gray whispered, then turned to run off after Natsu, trying desperately to hold in the sob he knew was coming.

 _Why did this have to be so fucking hard?_

* * *

Natsu wasn't far ahead, and Gray forced himself to keep his eyes forward when he heard the soft hum of the hovertruck powering up and pulling away.

"You ready for this?" Natsu stood up from his position where he was crouched near the edge of the trees, peering across the flat, grassy area that led up to the Wall.

"No," Gray whispered, grabbing Natsu's wrist. "And if we fuck this up royally and end up dead, I love you." Edo-Natsu's words sat heavy in his heart, and he swallowed down the tears that were threatening to spill out again.

"Don't talk like that," Natsu murmured, pressing a kiss to Gray's palm. After a moment, he added, "I love you, too." Then they both looked at each other, took several deep breaths, then nodded and burst out of the trees.

As soon as the guards along the perimeter of the Wall were in sight, both boys reached into their pockets and dropped their first smoke grenades, coughing as the thick mixture swirled up around them. A few paces after that, Natsu threw a lightning one in between them. It laid still for a moment, then exploded into silvery-white lines that arced out in every direction.

"GET BACK!" Gray shouted at the guards, reaching up and pulling the mask Natsu had fashioned over his face. Between it and the hood, only his eyes were visible. "The gas is poisonous – GET BACK!" Another set of smoke bombs roll, these ones laced with green, gave off a sickly, toxic vibe.

"IDENTIFY YOURSELVES!" one of the guards shouted, but Gray could see that he was hesitating, staring at the cloud of smoke and lighting that was heading for the door. Gray and Natsu slowed for a moment, dropping several bombs and waiting until the smoke was thick enough to barely see through before continuing their sprint towards the gate.

"COVER YOUR FACES!" Natsu yelled, voice rough from coughing. "They're attacking, we need to close the gate!"

Gray faked a stumble, dropping to one knee for long enough to roll his last two grenades as far forward as he could. They managed to land about ten feet away from the guards, and as the smoke began to swirl around their ankles, the panic on the two men's faces was clear.

"Marcus, get the controls!" one of them shouted, pulling out the pistol from his belt and aiming it behind Natsu and Gray. "You two, scan and get in here!"

"Caleb and... Tallum," Gray wheezed, skidding to a halt in front of the guards. Something beeped next to him. "We were after... Fairy Tail... attacked us." He wasn't faking the breathlessness, or the hoarseness from the acrid sting in his lungs. "Lightning one... then poison... gotta get inside." He gestured to the cloth covering his face and the guard's eyes widened, raising his arm to cover his mouth.

"I'll call down to headquarters and get them to – what the..."

As Natsu and Gray slipped past the two guards and into the city, Natsu rolled the last lightning grenade back towards them. It went off almost immediately, crackling and stunning both guards. Smoke swirled up around them and Natsu grabbed Gray's hand, turning right and dashing away from the door.

A few side alleys later, they were both leaning up against a wall, panting heavily and tugging the masks from their faces.

"Holy _shit,_ " Natsu wheezed, rubbing his hands over his face. "Holy shit, okay, we did it. Now we just have to make it to the lifts. You have the map?"

Gray reached into the bag and tugged out the datapad with shaking hands, fingers trembling so badly he could barely pull up the map of the city. He leaned over and kissed Natsu breathlessly. Natsu's fingers wound tightly in his hair, and they stayed like that for several seconds, both thankful to have lived through the first part of their plan.

"We can take the back roads most of the way there, but we'd better hurry," Natsu whispered eventually, pulling back and letting out a deep sigh. "We'd better get rid of the chips, I'm pretty sure those two idiots weren't the only ones watching the Wall."

Gray nodded, voice still stuck somewhere in his stomach, as Natsu pulled a pocketknife from his jacket and reached for Gray's hand. It hurt a hell of a lot more to have the chip cut out than put in, but after a few minutes they had bandaged their hands, destroyed the SINchips, and were on their way to the lifts.

Gray followed Natsu numbly as they weaved through the alleys and back roads. Anytime they ran across citizens, they were nodded to or bowed at respectfully, or in some cases regarded with fear. At one point they saw a group of officers shouting frantically and heading towards the front gate, but nobody stopped or questioned them.

The lineup for the lifts was dead – it was early in the morning, and it seemed like most people were coming back up rather than heading down. Gray eyed the contraptions suspiciously – three flat platforms surrounded by glass walls, with enough room on each for about ten people. A machine stood in front of each lift with a tiny screen affixed to it, and Natsu gestured for Gray to get out their credcard.

"Quickly," Natsu hissed, grabbing the flat square from Gray's hand and pressing it against the screen. It came to life, displaying a list of fares. Natsu scanned through them hastily and chose the appropriate options while Gray kept an eye out for guards. "C'mon, let's go."

They scrambled onto the lift and stood frozen for a moment before a robotic female voice announced, "Lift three, going down. Destination: Entertainment District." Then they slowly began to descend.

"Quick, change," Gray urged, tugging off the overcoat and unbuckling his chestplate. He grabbed the clothing from the rucksack that Lucy had packed – heavy, dark pants, plain long-sleeved shirts, and thick jackets with hoods – and began to pull them on instead.

"Oh... wow..." Natsu breathed. Gray finished pulling the shirt over his head and followed Natsu's gaze. They had exited the lift shaft and were now descending in what seemed like freefall into Undertown.

It was a chaotic mess of ramshackle buildings and neon lights, people and speeder bikes and vendors of all shapes and sizes. An enormous vidscreen along one wall advertised a cage fight between "Wildfist and The Phoenix", and another showed a sultry-looking woman whispering for people to join her at the "House of Negotiable Pleasures". Apartment balconies leaned out of the walls several stories up, lights and banners hanging from them and flapping in the recycled air.

"We have to find Erza here?" Gray murmured, tugging on the jacket and pulling up his hood, and urging Natsu to do the same. They shoved the stolen Magehunter gear back into the rucksack, and Gray hoisted it back onto his shoulder. "Where do we even start looking?"

The lift dinged, the robotic voice announcing, "Entertainment District reached. Enjoy your visit to Lower Louen. Have a pleasant stay." The doors _swooshed_ open and the two boys slipped out, looking around them in amazement.

"Well, if you were part of a Resistance where would you hide?" Natsu murmured, reaching back to grab Gray's hand. He looked so strange without his pink hair. "I mean, it's not like we can just go around asking for her." Gray sighed, rubbing his temples.

"We should rent a room somewhere," he said, trying to remember Wendy's advice. "Grab something to eat and start looking once we've had some sleep. What about that place?" He gestured across the street to a neon blue sign that read _cheap rooms available_. Natsu looked dubious, but they headed over to speak to the woman at the window.

"No good," she announced when they'd haggled her down to what they hoped was a reasonable price and presented their credcard. Gray's stomach dropped. _Shit, did they report it already?_ He looked around furtively, hoping he was being discreet.

"No good?" Natsu asked, confused. The woman frowned at him, shaking the card and tapping it against her screen again.

"Red flag," she started saying, and Gray grabbed Natsu's arm, tugging him down the street in the other direction. They wove through the crowds for a few minutes, dodging behind stalls and around carts with various (and likely illegal) substances on display, but eventually came to the conclusion that nobody was following them.

"Well, fuck," Natsu grumbled as they sat down on a concrete bench in the center of the road. A speeder bike swerved past them, back seat loaded down with crates. There were puddles on the ground, and Gray wondered how rain made it all the way down here. "Now what?"

"I don't fucking know," Gray sighed, resting his face in his hands. He was still riding on the adrenaline high of not being shot when they got through the Wall, and his brain was running a million miles a minute, trying to take in all this new information. They sat in silence for a few minutes, then Natsu bumped Gray's shoulder.

"Got it," he said, grinning at Gray, who looked up to where Natsu was pointing. The neon billboard from earlier was still advertising for the cage fights, but this time it was welcoming amateurs to fight "Reigning Champion Wildfist" for a chance at a thousand credits. Gray considered arguing against the idea, but he could see by the smile on his face that Natsu had already made up his mind.

"Well," he sighed, "you have done dumber things for less money."

* * *

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Gray hissed, pulling the hood of his jacket further over his hair and glancing around furtively. They had finally made it to the arena, and were now watching a long, snaking lineup of people move slowly through the front door. Pretty girls and shady-looking men prowled up and down the line, shaking credcards in the air and shouting.

"Amateur night!" one man yelled, holding a datapad above his head. "Fight or place your bets! Will the champion finally be defeated?!" The crowd murmured and jeered, people tossing credcards to the hawkers while they swiped their fingers over screens, entering names and bets.

"It'll be fine," Natsu reassured Gray, trying to ignore the nervousness bubbling in his chest. "You can't use magic here, so it'll just be some totally average person. I can take 'em." Gray huffed, and Natsu bumped his shoulder reassuringly. If he could fight Future Rogue, he could fight some magic-less person in an alternate dimension.

The throng of people was dense, but eventually they made it to the side entrance, where a tall, intimidating-looking woman with a metal eyepatch was taking names.

"You fightin'?" she asked roughly, looking Natsu up and down with her good eye. He nodded. "Whadda you want us to call you?" Her fingers hovered over the datapad.

"S-salamander," he blurted out, clenching his hands into fists. She raised an eyebrow and tapped in the name, then glanced at Gray, whose face was still hidden under the hood.

"You?" He shook his head hurriedly. It had been three years, but he _was_ supposed to be dead. "Alright, door's back there, if you got anything valuable don't bring it." She ran her finger down the list. "You're third from now. Might not be long, depends on how quick Wildfist takes 'em out. He ain't gentle." She leered at them and Natsu shifted uncomfortably. "If you don't end up in a puddle of your own blood and piss, prize money's collected back here. Good luck."

"That wasn't reassuring," Natsu grumbled as they stepped over to the door. Gray sighed sharply, reaching out and grabbing Natsu's hands.

"I don't like this," he said, voice hushed. "Something doesn't feel right."

"I know, icicle," Natsu replied, squeezing Gray's hand and shrugging, "but we don't have a lot of options." He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Gray's cheek. "Besides, if I can hold my own against you, I'll be fine."

"You'd better be," Gray grumbled, turning so that he caught the next kiss on his lips instead. He sighed, pressing their foreheads together. "Go kick some ass." Then he released Natsu's hands and drifted back into the crowd.

The locker room smelled like sweat, blood and urine. Natsu made a face, crossing his arms over his chest and shivering. Nobody else appeared to be there, but after about ten minutes, a short, scarred man opened the door and scowled at him.

"You're up," the man squawked, scowling at Natsu. "Name?"

"Salamander," Natsu replied, trying to come off as more confident than he felt. He shook the nervous energy out of his hands, wishing that he could feel the familiar tingle of his magic. Gods, he really, really wanted to go home.

"Ladies, gentlemen, beings of unspecified gender – what a night!" Natsu could hear the roar of the crowd in response to the announcer's boisterous voice, and he shivered. How many people were _out_ there? "Wildfist, our reigning champion, has taken down three – count that, _three –_ contenders in less than fifteen minutes!" Another roar, shaking the stadium.

The scowling man gestured for Natsu to climb the stairs behind him. They were wooden and splintered, and the handrail was missing in some places. They led up into an area that Natsu couldn't see very well – a spotlight was shining directly in his eyes. He raised an arm to block the light and could make out that he was standing next to a metal door. It slid open and he stepped inside.

"Tonight, we've got a new contender!" The door clanged shut behind him and he could feel the _thud_ in his chest. "Let's hear it for the Salamander!"

The stadium filled with _boos_ and chants like _take him down_ and _break his bones_. Natsu swallowed, trying to ignore the shouting, and turned to face his opponent.

He was older than Natsu, and taller as well. Dark hair ran down the center of his head, and the rest of his skull was shaved. Blood trickled from his nose and he wiped it away with the back of his hand, spitting on the ground. He was shirtless and shoeless, and a myriad of thick white marks covered his torso, including a Purge mark on his chest. An uneven, messy scar ran from his cheek down his neck – it looked like some sort of burn.

Natsu felt his pulse skyrocket as the man's eyes met his – dark, hard, and horrifyingly familiar. He took a step back, exhaling hard.

"Gray?"


	4. try to picture me without you but i cant

_TW for torture and violence_

* * *

 **Three Years Ago  
** **Edolas**

This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

"Be strong." Gray's hands trembled as Natsu's fingers dug into them, nails leaving marks in his palm. "I'll find you." He tried desperately not to look at the burned, peeling area on Natsu's arm.

"Gray, n-no," Natsu pleaded. Gray shook his head, feeling the tears escaping from his eyes and running down his cheeks. He took a shaky breath, trying to look reassuring. _Frak_. They were supposed to make it home together, but there just wasn't enough time. "Please…"

"I have to keep you safe," Gray whispered, voice breaking as he let out a sob. He was so, so scared. "You have to go now. I love you so much." Before he could change his mind, Gray tore his hand away from Natsu's and raced back in the other direction.

"Gray!" Natsu screamed, but Gray's attention was focused entirely on the enormous man ahead of him. The energy barrier had powered down, and three Magehunters were bearing on them, Joekel leading the charge. Gray threw up another ice wall in front of him, but Joekel's enormous energy sword sliced through it easily. "GRAY!"

 _Frak,_ he thought. _They're not going to have enough time_. Some part of him had hoped that maybe he could hold off the Magehunters long enough to get himself out as well, but it was clear now that wasn't an option. Gray squeezed his eyes shut. _Natsu, I'm so sorry._

He turned back towards the group and got one last glimpse of Natsu's tear-stained, sobbing face before it disappeared behind the dome of ice that Gray summoned around them. He concentrated on making the ice as thick and impenetrable as possible, pouring all of his magic into the creation – into keeping Natsu safe. Gray's hand began to tremble, body shaking from the exertion of holding such a powerful spell.

"Arrogant fool." A hand closed around Gray's throat and he was yanked upwards, then turned to face the Magehunter captain in front of him. Joekel's face was twisted in fury, his dark eyes hard and lip curled up in a sneer. "You've doomed yourself."

"Doesn't… matter…" Gray choked out around the hand on his throat. His vision was going spotty as he scrabbled feebly at the thick, heavy fingers on his neck.

"I could choke you to death right now," Joekel snarled, squeezing harder until Gray's frantic thrashing became weaker and weaker. "But that would be too easy." He flung Gray to the ground, leering at him when something audibly cracked in his chest and he cried out in pain. "Where did they go?"

Gray struggled to push himself onto his elbows, relief flooding through him to see that the Magehunters had broken down his dome only to find it empty inside. He collapsed back on the ground, letting a smile creep across his features.

"You're too late…" he wheezed, waving a rude gesture at Joekel. "You'll… never find them."

"Oh, I will," Joekel snarled, gesturing for one of the Magehunters to drag Gray to his feet. Gray swore as whatever was broken in his chest shifted painfully. "But first, I'm going to break their spirits."

Gray panted in short, shallow breaths, arm crossed over his chest. It didn't matter. Natsu got away, Natsu was safe, and for that, Gray would gladly give his life. He felt the chill of the metal band on his finger and closed his eyes, trying to bring back the memory of this morning, in their bed-

"Look at me when I'm talking to you." A heavy fist slammed into Gray's cheek and he grunted, pain bursting across his face. "I'm going to ask you one more time, and if you cooperate, we might be able to arrange something." Gray laughed mirthlessly.

"Go frak yourself," he ground out, teeth bared. "I'd rather die than betray my family." Joekel moved closer to him, shoving his face right up in Gray's until he could smell the other man's rancid breath.

"That can be arranged," Joekel hissed, grabbing Gray's hair and yanking his head back. "But I think you'll come to find that some things are worse than death." He ran a finger almost intimately along Gray's cheek, and Gray shuddered in revulsion. "Last chance, before I hand you over to someone who likes to… experiment."

Gray spit in Joekel's face, feeling a deep sense of satisfaction when Joekel jerked backward, furiously wiping saliva from his eye. He glared at Gray, flashed him a wicked grin.

"I don't know what you think you're smiling abou…" Joekel's voice trailed off when Gray opened his hand, letting the last bright red spellcube tumble to the floor.

"At least I'm takin' you down with me," Gray said, vision blurring as he was yanked backwards by the Magehunter behind him. The last thing he saw before he lost consciousness was Joekel's enraged face, engulfed by flames.

* * *

"It didn't work." Gray blinked, groaning as he was dragged back into wakefulness. Everything hurt. His ribs were probably broken, his face was swollen from where Joekel had hit him, and everywhere else… burned. The worst of it seemed to be a thick swath from his right cheekbone down to the center of his chest – he raised his hand and winced as his fingers encountered the blistered, bubbled skin. It was then that he realized that his hands were once again cuffed in front of him.

"You nearly died and it was all for nothing." The voice was unfamiliar, and Gray turned to see who was speaking. A man in his mid-forties sat on the bench outside the cell where Gray was being held. He had close-cropped brown hair and a bland, genial face, and he wore a set of dark robes with the AntiMagic insignia embroidered on the chest.

"Who are you?" Gray growled. He forced himself to stand, crying out in pain but pushing through it until he was balanced precariously on his feet. "Where am I?"

"I am Revik," the man said, voice neutrally polite. He didn't move from his position on the bench. "I'm am the head researcher of the AntiMagic division in Acropolis." He smiled at Gray.

"…researcher?" Gray mumbled, trying to brace himself against the wall with his bound hands. The room was spinning and it took everything he had just to remain upright. Memories of their fight came back to him in pieces, culminating with... "The fire bomb…"

"It did very little damage, I'm afraid." Revik stood, peering through the energy barrier separating them as if taking an inventory of Gray's injuries. "I designed their armor. It learns from previous attacks and protects the wearer against similar kinds of magic. Using the same spell multiple times was… unwise."

" _Frak_ ," Gray cursed, wobbling unsteadily and falling down onto his knees. He groaned, resisting the urge to collapse entirely. The pain blistering along the burned area on his face and chest was almost unbearable.

"You're to be executed," Revik said conversationally. Gray stiffened, heart skipping a few beats. He'd known when he'd made the decision to stay behind that this was a likely outcome, but knowing it and hearing it were two different things entirely. A chill ran through him, and he couldn't control the trembling of his limbs. "Publicly. Faust wants to send a message to your friends."

 _Natsu,_ Gray thought, stomach dropping. Natsu was going to see him die and there was nothing he could do about it. Then again, he wasn't sure if Natsu was alive either, although he tried not to linger on that thought for too long. The wound on Natsu's arm had moved frighteningly quick, and if they hadn't made it to a clinic - or Wendy - in time…

"It was worth it," Gray ground out between clenched teeth, slumping back against the wall. He tried to keep as still as possible to avoid aggravating anything. "If they got out, I'm glad to die for them."

"They won't be safe for long," Revik commented. He glanced down the hallway, then adjusted his robes and turned back to Gray. "We'll find them soon enough, and all of this will have been in vain."

Footsteps pounded down the corridor, and Gray tipped his head back against the wall, groaning in pain. Dying actually sounded pretty good right about now.

A pair of Magehunters appeared at the edge of the cell and nodded respectfully to Revik, who returned the gesture and then waved to Gray, then headed back down the hallway. The energy barrier lowered with a _whoosh_ , then one of the women reached down and grabbed Gray's arm, hauling him to his feet.

Gray cried out in pain, stumbling and hitting his head on the wall of the cell. The second guard grabbed him from the other side, and they dragged him unceremoniously out of the room. He could feel tears pricking his eyes – the pain from his blistered flesh was getting worse and worse. They headed back to the main room, took a lift up several floors, then made their way down a maze of hallways. By the time they reached their destination, Gray was delirious from the pain.

"Bring him in."

A set of double doors opened in front of them, and through his hazy vision Gray could see that they were on the roof. This section of the Acropolis jutted out in a plateau hundreds of feet above the ground. It had historically been used for speeches, but apparently Joekel was going to be using it for Gray's execution.

Gray's stomach turned to ice as the word floated through him, and he found himself struggling weakly against the Magehunters grip, despite his desire to die with dignity. He wasn't ready. This wasn't how it was supposed to end.

"Drop him." The guards shoved Gray down to his knees and he gasped in pain, trying in vain to keep tears from streaming down his cheeks. His chest ached – a deep, terrified sadness that strangled him and made it hard to breathe. Cool metal brushed his burned cheek and he jumped. "Last chance. Tell me where they are and we'll end this."

"Frak you," Gray snarled, spitting on the ground. He could see Joekel's face out of the corner of his eye, and was pleased to see that his magic armor hadn't protected him from everything. Joekel had a white scar running across his throat – clearly magically healed, but at least he'd felt the pain of the flames. "You'll never win. You're…"

The gun moved to the back of Gray's head and for a split second, he considered begging, thought of betraying his friends and telling Joekel everything because _gods_ , he did not want to die. But he focused on the memory of Natsu's face, the way he'd kissed Natsu that morning, the way that-

And then he didn't have to think of any more reasons, because Joekel's finger squeezed the trigger and pain erupted in his skull for just a second, and all he could think was _I'm so sorry Natsu, I love you, I love you, I love you,_ and then he was dead.

* * *

Or… maybe not.

To be fair, Gray had never been dead before, so he had nothing to compare this to, but he was pretty certain that he was, in fact, alive. The intense pain blistering through his body supported this theory.

"You're not dead," a voice said, confirming his suspicions. Revik's face swam into view, cold and calculating. Gray blinked a few times, trying to clear his vision, but even the minute movement aggravated the burn on his face. He groaned, dropping his head forward. "However, as far as everyone is concerned, you were executed two days ago as a terrorist and a traitor to Imperium."

 _Natsu,_ Gray thought desperately. _Natsu thinks I'm dead._

"Clearly they're wrong," Gray grunted, trying to lift his head again. Now that he could feel his body, he could tell that he was suspended on the wall, thick metal bands around his wrists, ankles and waist. He tugged against them experimentally but gave up almost immediately.

"Nobody knows that, though," Revik said, voice almost bored. He picked up a wicked-looking tool from the table beside him, twirling it idly in his hands. "Technically, you're no longer a person. Which means that nobody will care what I do to you – in the name of science, of course."

Gray panted shakily, feeling the sharp sting of his broken ribs with each breath. His wrists ached, the AntiMagic cuffs burning into his skin, and the back of his head throbbed.

"H-how..."

"A strong stunbolt," Revik replied, setting down the metal instrument and moving over to a vidscreen. He pulled up a list of numbers and started typing. "It's an invention I'm particularly proud of. It was strong enough to stop your heart temporarily, but a secondary charge later brought you back. Long enough for the holos to show your death, not long enough to cause permanent brain damage."

 _Frak_ , Gray thought, swallowing heavily _. They won't come for me if they think I'm dead. That was his plan all along, wasn't it?_ _  
_  
"What do you want with me?" Gray growled, groaning in pain as the skin on his cheek and neck tightened.

"My inventions can only come from experimentation," Revik replied, closing down the spreadsheet and opening a new screen. Gray could see that it was a scan of his body, injured areas highlighted in red, detailed descriptions of his magic added in blue. "How can I know the most effective ways to kill your friends unless I see what you're capable of withstanding?"

Gray felt his breath catch in his throat, and he instinctively tried to back away, hands scrabbling at the wall behind him. This was bad. This was very, very bad because nobody knew he was alive and nobody was coming for him, and he was about to be tortured and he was terrified. He almost begged. The word _please_ tried to push its way through his lips, but he thought of the guild and how hard they were fighting, and bit himself until he bled instead.

"Would you like to see what you look like?" Revik asked conversationally. "Even if they knew you were alive and could rescue you, they wouldn't want you back."

Gray's stomach twisted as he tried to slow his increasingly panicked breaths. He wanted to be calm, and brave, and graceful. Instead, he was gasping quietly, tears on his cheeks and blood running down his chin.

Revik held a mirror in front of Gray and for a moment, Gray kept his eyes squeezed shut. Eventually, curiosity overtook him, and he opened them. He immediately regretted it.

The burn on his face was horrible - red and blistered and peeling at the edges. It started just below his eye, dipping down close to the edge of his lips and then spreading across his jaw and down his neck to the center of his chest. The edge of his guild mark was peeled away, skin turned black and flaky.

"I could fix it, you know," Revik said, whipping the mirror away and setting it on the table. "It would still scar, but not as badly." Gray's mind jumped to the white band of damaged flesh on Joekel's neck. "I won't, though. It will heal naturally and be a reminder of your failure. Every time you look at yourself, you'll hate what you've become."

"P-please," Gray whispered finally, unable to stop himself. He looked like a monster. "I c-can't..."

"Oh, but you _will,"_ Revik insisted, leaning against the table and crossing his arms. "You'll learn to live with it, with the revulsion and the horror and the hatred. Because I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to keep you alive down here for a very, very long time. You're never going to see the sun again."

Gray sobbed, dropping his head down to his chest as he felt his throat tighten. His head spun, vision darkening at the edges again as the pain overtook him.

"I'll be back," Revik said, reaching behind him and opening the door to the room. "I'm looking forward to our time together."

Then the door closed and the lights went out, and Gray was left alone in the dark.

* * *

Revik left Gray hanging on the wall without food or water for two days. When Revik finally sauntered in and pressed the button to release the bands holding him, Gray collapsed face-first on the floor and didn't move.

"Get up." Revik's voice still carried that cool, disinterested tone, but Gray could hear the underlying threat. "You're going to eat something, and then we're cleaning you up."

Gray pushed himself slowly to his hands and knees, arms shaking, but fell back to the floor again, crying out in pain.

"I... c-can't," he mumbled deliriously, squeezing his eyes shut against the bright light. Revik gave a snort of disgust, then grabbed Gray by his arm and dragged him out of the room. For such a slim man, he was surprisingly strong.

"Eat." Revik placed a bowl of something unappetizing in front of Gray, and he blinked at it for a moment, frowning. "Do I need to feed you like a child?"

Gray's face was shoved downward until it was next to the bowl, and he made a weak sound of protest, then pulled the bowl towards himself and shoved some of the substance in his mouth with his hand. It was thick and sticky and bland, but once he started eating it, he couldn't stop. A part of his brain was mortified, knowing that Revik was watching him shovel food into his mouth like an animal, but another part of him was so hungry he didn't care.

Gray threw up moments later, curled up on the floor and retching as his stomach rejected the food after so long without it. Tears streaked his face and he trembled, pushing himself against the wall.

"Tsk." Revik motioned for someone else to come clean up the mess - all Gray could see was their feet from his position on the floor. "I had hoped that breaking you would be entertaining, but it looks like it was easier than I anticipated."

Gray was given another bowl of food, and his time he ate sparingly, despite his stomach begging him for more. His head was slowly clearing, and he didn't argue when Revik placed a bottle of water in front of him. Gray hoped it was poisoned.

"Clean him and bring him back to the lab," Revik ordered, and Gray didn't resist when two sets of hands grabbed his arms and dragged him into another room. They stripped him of his clothing, then threw him under a blast of hot water that seared the burn on his neck until he almost passed out. When the water turned off, a pile of clean clothing was thrown at him, and he struggled feebly to pull it on.

"Now," Revik said as soon as Gray was returned to the lab. This time he was restrained in a chair while Revik leaned against the table in front of him. "You're an ice mage, obviously. The barricade you created around your teammates was impressive. We're going to start small, though."

"Frak y-you," Gray whispered. Even with the food and water, he still felt too weak to even hold up his head, and it lolled against his chest. "I'll... n-never help... you." Maybe if he refused, Revik would get tired and kill him quicker.

"I was hoping you'd say that." Revik grinned, and the look was deeply unsettling. "Joekel gave me permission to do whatever it takes to get you to cooperate. Which means I get to play with my toys."

Revik picked up a long, wickedly sharp-looking knife from the table and spun it in his hands, then gave Gray a look of amusement that made Gray want to throw up again. Revik's voice was almost delighted as he brought the knife next to Gray's skin.

"Have you ever heard of flaying?"

* * *

Erza was terrified.

"There's been an issue with a prisoner in the Purging room," she said. She could feel sweat trickling down her face, and she was happy for the mask that concealed her identity. It modulated her voice a little, making it sound just like all the other Magehunters. "Your expertise is needed."

"What's your identification code?" The guard at the desk sounded slightly suspicious. Erza swallowed heavily. This was where they found out if all their research and surveillance paid off.

"Tango-three-seven-Whiskey-eight-nine-seven-seven-Bravo," she replied. The guard swiped his hand over the datapad in front of him, tapping in the numbers. For a moment he said nothing, and Erza though she might pass out from the stress. After a moment he nodded, then stood, gesturing for Erza to take his place.

"Prisoner is in cell 4B," he said as he headed for the door. "Shouldn't be a problem for you, though. He's pretty quiet." Erza nodded, holding her breath until the door closed behind her.

 _Quiet?_ She thought as she locked the main door, then drew her weapon and began to make her way down the hall. _That doesn't sound like Gray._ The corridor was pitch black, and she pulled a small lamp from her pocket, shaking it to make it glow.

"Gray?" she whispered as she neared 4B. There was no movement or sound coming from the cell, and she slowed down, pressing herself to the wall and peering around the corner. "Gray, can you hear me?"

There was still no response, so Erza moved directly up to the cell, eyeing the panel that held the energy field in place. She pulled the front of the panel down, typing in several lines of code and exhaling as the barrier powered down.

Erza stepped into the cell slowly, holding the light in front of her, and gasped in surprise when she realized that Gray was sitting in the far corner, knees up in front of his chest.

"You're early," he commented, voice flat and disinterested, not raising his head from where it was resting on his arms.

"Gray, it's me, Erza. We have to hurry." Gray reacted to that, lifting his eyes to meet Erza's and staring at her suspiciously. She swallowed, trying not to visibly react to his physical appearance. He was so much thinner than before, and his head had been shaved, showing off several scars that had been hidden under his hair. His eyes were blank and emotionless.

"That's new." Gray sighed, pushing himself to his feet and wincing. He stumbled a bit, but caught himself against the wall. A bandage covered his left arm, and spots of blood had seeped through it. Erza shuddered when she realized he was missing his pinkie fingers. "How'd you get me to take them? I didn't eat yesterday."

"Take… what?" Erza frowned in confusion, pistol shaking in her hand. She glanced back down the hallway, heart racing in fear at the thought of the guard coming back. "Look, we don't have time, we have to go. They'll only be distracted for so long."

Erza reached out to grab Gray's arm and he recoiled from her, flinching and pressing himself against the wall. Erza's heart ached, but they had to leave, _now_. She hesitated for a second, then turned the pistol around and offered it to Gray.

"Take it. I'm not here to hurt you, I'm here to rescue you, but if you don't cooperate with me, we won't be able to get out."

At the words _cooperate with me,_ Gray's expression immediately relaxed and he reached out, taking the gun from her and holding it loosely in his hand. It made Erza uneasy, but she would have to worry about it later.

"Follow me." Gray obeyed instantly, stepping out of the cell and following her down the hallway, away from the door. They reached the end of the hall and she disarmed the energy barrier, then stepped inside and pulled a metal cylinder out of her pocket. She drew a hasty circle on the wall, then gestured for Gray to stand back while the corrosive liquid ate through the metal and she was able to kick her way through to the other side.

"This is…" Gray's voice was soft, and the blank expression on his face was slowly being replaced by a confused one. "Feels different. Too real. What did you do to me?" He brought his hands to his face and growled, shaking his head back and forth.

 _He thinks I'm a hallucination._ The realization hit Erza and she felt sick, looking at Gray's bewildered face. _Revik's drugged him before. Shit._

"Gray, this is real." Erza stepped closer to him, trying to get him to meet her eyes. "It's me, Erza. We've been friends since we were two." She racked her brain hastily for things only she would know about him. "You hate oranges enough that you've pretended to be allergic to them your entire life." He blinked at her, frowning apprehensively, and she exhaled sharply. "You're in love with Natsu. You were going to get married."

Gray's expression suddenly shifted, eyes widening and mouth going slack. His right hand trailed over to his left, brushing over his naked ring finger. "Natsu," he whispered.

"I have your ring," Erza reassured him, patting her pocket. She'd managed to get into his effects – which consisted only of the ring and a set of ruined clothing – before she'd come to his cell. "Please, we have to leave now," she begged, reaching out her hand to Gray. "This is our only chance to get out."

"Leave?" Gray swallowed, looking past Erza to the hole in the wall. "But… Revik…"

"Is otherwise occupied," Erza insisted, beckoning for Gray to follow her. "I don't know how long he'll be busy for. We have to go, there's a ship outside."

"Ship," Gray repeated numbly, stepping through the hole and trailing after Erza down a short hallway with several doors. Erza used her stolen passcard to open one of them, tapping her helmet to re-solidify the holographic mask.

"This way," she urged, voice deepened by the mask. She could feel Gray behind her as they made their way through a few more corridors. "We're almost there."

One last turn let them to an ordinary-looking utility hatch, just across the hallway. As soon as Erza stepped out, blaster fire hit the wall next to her.

 _"Drek,"_ she cursed, stepping back and attempting to peer around the corner to see who was shooting at them. Before she could stop him, Gray stepped out into the hallway and fired once in each direction – two shots in quick succession. Another bolt came flying down the hall and hit his shoulder, but he didn't react, just fired once more. The blasting stopped, and he turned back to Erza.

"They're dead now. You hurt?"

"Fine," she murmured, standing and staring at his shoulder. "You got hit, what the hell were you thinking?" He followed her across the hallway and to the hatch.

"I've had worse," Gray replied simply, glancing down at the wound as if it were a paper cut and not dampening the front of his shirt with blood. Erza tried to pull his shirt aside to take a look at it, but he growled at her and backed away. She sighed, turning to the hatch and dragging the handle around to open it.

"Hold tight," she warned as a sharp wind whipped into the corridor. This was a maintenance hatch, used by workers to transport materials for repairs. It led directly outside to a five-by-five platform, and from there it was an eighty-foot drop into the ocean below. Right now, it was storming, and the waves crashed thunderously up against the base of the building before returning to the sea.

"I know it's high," Erza shouted over the pounding surf as they stepped out onto the platform. "But I need you to trust me, we have to j-"

Gray glanced down at the crashing waves impassively, then leaped over the edge before Erza could finish her sentence. She swore, taking a deep breath and diving in after him.

The water was freezing, and Erza gasped for breath as she surfaced, immediately taking a wave to the back of her head. She spit out the salty water, looking around worriedly for Gray. Luckily, he'd ended up not far from her, and was swimming over with long, smooth strokes.

"What the _hell,"_ she shouted as he got closer, kicking her legs and treading water as they rode out the waves. He appeared fine, expression still detached, wiping salt water from his eyes. Erza sighed. "All right, we have to swim a bit before we can get picked up." She tugged the Magehunter helmet and armor off, struggling to keep her head above water, and ended up in a thin bodysuit.

"Let's go!" she shouted, pointing away from the Acropolis, then flipping onto her stomach and beginning to swim.

By the time the lights of the ship finally shone down over them and a ladder was extended, she'd had to slow down significantly for Gray, who was starting to show signs of fatigue and hypothermia. She half-carried him up into the ship, where he collapsed on the floor, shivering and gasping for air.

"Go, Tanner!" Erza yelled at the young pilot as she rolled over, hitting the button to close the hatch. Gray pulled himself into a sitting position against the wall, shivering and dragging his knees to his chest. Erza grabbed a towel from the locker next to her, then threw a second one at Gray. "Dry off. I'll be right back."

The craft shuddered as it rose into the air, the young man at the helm flipping several switches before directing them toward the mainland. Erza placed her palm against a panel in the center of the console and the ship made a humming noise, disappearing from sight as the invisibility lacrima engaged.

"Is he okay?" Tanner asked, looking back at Gray. Gray was still sitting on the floor, staring blankly ahead, eyes fixed on a spot on the floor. The towel hung limply in his hands. Erza sighed, moving back toward him.

"Gray, do you know who I am?" He flicked his eyes up to her, face emotionless.

"Erza?" He sounded uncertain, and when she nodded, he shook his head. "You're not real."

"Gray," she whispered, reaching out for his hand. He flinched away from her and her heart broke a bit. "I am real," she insisted. She reached into her pocket and pulled out Gray's ring, setting it down on the floor between them. He eyed it suspiciously, then snatched it up and backed away from her again.

"How long?" His voice was hard, and she swallowed, not wanting to answer the question. "How. Long?"

"A little less than two years," she whispered, feeling her stomach drop. "Gray, I'm so sorry. We thought you were dead, and then they put up the Wall so I couldn't contact the guild." He didn't respond. "By the time I found out you were alive, and then made a plan to get you out..."

"If this is real, you shouldn't have bothered," he whispered, then turned away from her and leaned against the wall, closing his eyes. "I'm a monster and a traitor to the guild. You should have let me die."


	5. still comparing your past to my future

Gray could see the exact minute that Natsu realized who he was up against, and subsequently lost the fight. Edolas-Gray attacked immediately, whipping across the ground and pelting a flurry of blows at Natsu's chest and face. His elbow came up and cracked across Natsu's cheekbone, then a palm struck Natsu's sternum and threw him into the wall.

 _Fight back_ , Gray thought desperately, clenching his fists and wishing to hell that he had his magic right now. _He's dangerous. He'll hurt you._ It was unsettling to see his own face up on the screen, twisted in an angry snarl, badly scarred with hardened eyes. Wasn't he supposed to be dead? What the hell was going on?

The crowd around him shouted and jeered as Natsu staggered backwards, blood pouring from his obviously broken nose. Heartbreak was written all over his face and his hands were trembling.

"Hit him!" Gray shouted, shoving his way through the crowd while making sure to keep his hood up. Now that he knew he wasn't dead here, it would be even worse to be found out.

Natsu must have picked up on his voice over the roar of the crowd, because he glanced out through the bars of the cage and then set his jaw determinedly. Planting his feet, he settled himself into a position that Gray knew all too well. Unfortunately, that stance was for fighting with fire, and it left Natsu's chest and face wide open. Edo-Gray took advantage of it, kneeing him in the gut and grabbing him by the hair, then slamming his head into the wall. Electricity sizzled and sparked from the bars, and Natsu shouted out in pain.

"Goddamnit it, _hit him!"_ Gray shouted again. He dug his nails into his palms hard enough that he felt blood welling up around them. If Natsu didn't start fighting back soon, he was going to get badly hurt.

Edo-Gray raised the fist that wasn't caught in Natsu's hair and was about to drive it down into his face when he faltered. Gray frowned, then realized that Edo-Gray was staring at Natsu's shoulder. Natsu was wearing a sleeveless shirt, and the paint they'd used to cover his guild mark was flaking away. _Shit_.

* * *

"Who the hell are you?" Edolas-Gray hissed, tightening his fingers in Natsu's hair. Natsu groaned, feeling electricity from the bars spark onto his skin, and he snarled up at the unsettlingly familiar face. "Where did you get this mark?"

"The guild, you moron," Natsu ground out, trying to lash out at Edo-Gray with his free leg. Edo-Gray raised a lip at him contemptuously, trapping Natsu's knee between his foot and the ground. Natsu whined in pain, trying desperately to free himself from the iron grip. This guy was stronger than his Gray – by a _lot_.

"I don't recognize you, and I know everyone from Fairy Tail," Edo-Gray growled dangerously, shifting his grip in Natsu's hair until his face was centimeters from the electrified metal. "Now tell me the truth before I give you a scar on your face to match mine."

"What the _fuck_ , snowflake, I'm telling the truth!"

The grip on Natsu's hair loosened immediately, and he found himself flipped onto his back, a heavy foot on his sternum. Edo-Gray was leaning over him, staring at him with a strange mixture of hope and anger.

"Natsu?" he asked, voice disbelieving. His eyes desperately searched Natsu's face, looking for someone Natsu could never be. Natsu groaned, grasping at Edo-Gray's foot with both hands, but Edo-Gray didn't move.

"Yes, it's me," Natsu hissed, wheezing as the pressure on his chest increased. "Not _your_ Natsu, I'm from Otherworld. But… nggh… Fairy Tail sent us." Edo-Gray's perplexed expression began to harden again, and Natsu gasped for air. "Gray, I'm t-telling the truth. I swear… please…"

A tense silence fell between the two of them, and Natsu could hear his own Gray shouting over the din of the rest of the spectators. The sound flooded his senses, and he winced at the pain in his chest.

"This is going to hurt," Edo-Gray said after a moment, reaching down and grabbing Natsu by the throat. He dragged him to his feet, ignoring Natsu's hands scrabbling at his own. "But it has to look legit." The hard anger in his eyes softened for just a second, then he drew his other fist back and bared his teeth. "I'll come to you after. Sorry about this."

Pain exploded between Natsu's eyes, and he felt himself falling to the ground, darkness filling his vision until he was lost to unconsciousness.

* * *

"This is fucked up."

Gray sat next to Natsu on a makeshift cot in the back room of the arena, cradling Natsu's head in his lap. Natsu drifted in and out of consciousness as Edo-Gray rummaged around in a metal box that he'd pulled out from under the cot.

"Of course it is," Edo-Gray growled, pulling out a small metal cylinder and popping off the cap. "You're wearing my face."

He gestured for Gray to tip Natsu's head to the side, then sprayed something from the cylinder along the side of Natsu's face. The skin immediately began to knit back together, redness fading away. The injury wasn't gone, but it looked better than it had a few seconds ago.

"It's not _your_ face," Gray argued. "It's _our_ face. We're different versions of the same person." Edo-Gray snorted, then tossed the empty cylinder into a metal container affixed to the wall. He stood up, stretching and wincing at the bruising evident on his ribs. "Don't you need to use some of that stuff on yourself?"

"I'm fine," Edo-Gray shrugged, rinsing his hands in a bucket of dirty water that sat on the floor. The water turned red as he splashed it up his arms, rinsing the blood away. He cleaned his face, scrubbing more blood from his split lip and the cut under his left eye, then ran a hand through his hair and turned around again. "I do this most nights, I'm used to it."

"That's… messed up," Gray replied, taking in the myriad of scars on Edo-Gray's chest and back. The most obvious one was the burn mark that stretched from his eye down his chest, but other scars crisscrossed his skin as well. There were patches on his arms that looked like the skin had been peeled away, and heavy, thick stripes on his back that might have been from being whipped. He was also missing his pinkie fingers on both hands, which was incredibly unsettling.

"We do what we have to," Edo-Gray murmured, reaching into his pants pocket and pulling out a chain. Dangling from the end was a silver ring, immediately recognizable as the twin to Edo-Natsu's. Edo-Gray pulled it over his head, then tugged on a long-sleeved shirt and brushed his hair out of his eyes. A leather jacket followed the shirt, and he shoved his feet into a pair of heavy boots.

"Gnnnhghh." Natsu groaned, eyes finally blinking open. Gray looked down at him, touching his cheek gently.

"Hey sunshine, you finally coming back to the land of the living?" Natsu grumbled in response, letting Gray help him sit up.

"That was one hell of a punch," Natsu growled, bringing a hand up to his broken nose. Even with the spray that Edo-Gray had used, it still looked terrible. "For a dead guy," Natsu added, glaring at Edo-Gray.

"I have a reputation to maintain," Edo-Gray replied, shrugging and ignoring the jab. "I said I was sorry. Now get dressed, we're leaving." He gestured to a clean shirt lying on the cot.

"We're not going anywhere until we get some goddamn answers," Natsu snarled, attempting to stand up but falling back onto the bed. Gray grabbed him around the waist and helped him up, slowly this time. "Specifically, why everyone at the guild, including here- _me_ , thinks you're dead."

A mixture of grief and anger flashed across Edo-Gray's face, and he scowled at Natsu.

"Because I _was_ dead," he snarled. "And I should have stayed that way." There was an uncomfortable pause where neither Gray or Natsu knew what to say. Edo-Gray pointed to the shirt again. "Get dressed. I'm taking you to see Erza." Natsu and Gray exchanged a surprised look.

"That was easier than I expected," Natsu commented, pulling the shirt over his head. "We were trying to find her, but we had no idea where to look."

"Most people don't," Edo-Gray replied, gesturing for them to follow him out of the room and down the hallway. It opened up into a back alleyway where a rusty speeder bike was leaning against the wall. Edo-Gray walked past it. "We won't all fit on my bike, but it isn't far."

 _Not far_ was subjective, since they walked for over an hour back through the market. They wound through stalls selling various kinds of food - which only reminded Gray how hungry he was - along with storefronts offering everything from holotrips to strip shows. Edo-Gray was stubbornly silent the whole way, staying a few steps head of them to avoid conversation.

Eventually they left the market district and returned to the area where Gray and Natsu had come down the lifts. To their surprise, Edo-Gray took a right and beelined for an opulent-looking building with a flashing neon sign reading _The House Of Negotiable Pleasures_.

"Um," Natsu stammered, face flushing pink. "Are we... going to a brothel?"

"Just follow me," Edo-Gray replied, pushing through a group of tourists in glittery dresses and high-heeled shoes. "And keep your mouths shut." Gray and Natsu glanced at each other uncertainly, then shrugged and followed Edo-Gray into the building.

The inside of the brothel was just as opulent as the outside - gilded walls, expensive art prints, velvet and silk everywhere. Men and women dressed in revealing outfits lounged about, chatting up customers or lying on the couches, displaying themselves for sale.

Edo-Gray headed up to the counter, leaning across and whispering something to the man seated there. The man nodded, handing Edo-Gray a plastic square that looked similar to the credcard they'd been given by the guild.

"Upstairs," Edo-Gray said, returning to them and gesturing to a set of lifts built into the wall. These ones were round and made of glass, decorated with gold filigree, and the insides smelled like crushed flowers. Edo-Gray swiped the card over the panel, and the lift began to ascend to the fifth floor.

"Possibly stupid question," Natsu began, but Edo-Gray shot him a glare and Natsu put his hands up in surrender. The elevator arrived smoothly at its destination, doors sliding open and leading them into a long, plushly carpeted hallway. Edo-Gray led them up to the third door on the left, then swiped the keycard and leaned in as the panel slid open.

"Rogue!" he called, stepping inside and wiping his boots on the mat. "You decent? I've got company."

"I'm always decent," came a familiar voice, and Rogue came around the corner as Gray and Natsu stepped into the room.

Gray's jaw dropped. Edolas-Rogue's hair was long, down to his waist, and was pulled back in a braid interwoven with red and orange beads and gems. His eyes were ringed with smoky liner, and a gold hoop hung from his nose, with matching ones in his ears. He wore a pair of loose, flowing pants and was barefoot, and his chest was bare save for the intricate jewelry in each of his nipples.

 _Holy shit_ , Gray thought.

"They're from Otherworld," Edo-Gray said curtly at Rogue's baffled expression. "Fairy Tail sent them. We have to get them to Erza. Can you call to open the door?"

"Slow down, love," Rogue said softly. placing a hand on Edo-Gray's chest. He kissed Edo-Gray's cheek, and Edo-Gray's shoulders visibly relaxed as he leaned into the gesture. Rogue murmured something in his ear, and Edo-Gray gave a soft half-shrug. Rogue squeezed his shoulder, then turned to Gray and Natsu.

"Sorry about him. He's rough around the edges."

"We, uh..." Gray trailed off as Rogue moved over to them, hips moving sensually with each step. "You..."

"Gray, did you punch this poor boy in the face?" Rogue reached out and cupped Natsu's chin, staring at his broken nose.

"He started it," Edo-Gray grumbled petulantly, crossing his arms over his chest. "I _said_ I was sorry." Gray was thrown off by his sudden change in demeanor.

"You're incorrigible." Rogue sighed, smiling at Natsu. Gray swallowed audibly, unable to keep his eyes from drifting over Rogue's finely toned chest and fair skin. "And this Gray's so much cuter than you."

"Frak off," Edo-Gray grumbled, but the curse didn't carry much venom. He moved further into the room, and Rogue gestured for Natsu and Gray to follow him.

The room itself wasn't large, but it was just as fancy as the main floor. A large, round bed sat in the center of the room, topped with satin sheets and a gold-embroidered blanket. In the far corner there was a dresser with a large vanity mirror and various makeup products, and along the wall was an enormous wardrobe, half-open to show a variety of different outfits.

"You're lucky you caught me between clients," Rogue chastised, gesturing for them to sit at a small table in the near corner. "Owl doesn't like it when I reschedule."

"I know," Edo-Gray replied, settling himself comfortably on the edge of the bed. Rogue's current state of undress didn't seem to faze him in the slightest. "I talked to Kett downstairs. He'll take care of it."

Rogue made a sound of assent, moving over to the wall next to the wardrobe tapping a complicated rhythm onto the wallpaper.

"Sting's running today?" Edo-Gray asked, letting Rogue lean in and run a hand over his cheek, inspecting his injuries.

"Mhmm," Rogue replied, sounding somewhat exasperated. "He's pulling deckjockey, they're running a brushup on Netkon." He sighed, tapping Edo-Gray on the forehead. "You need to be more careful."

 _"He'd_ better be careful or he'll end up flatlined," Edo-Gray grumbled, ignoring the comment and leaning back lazily on his hands. His expression was more relaxed now, almost… fond when he looked at Rogue. "I know he's tech'd but still. Hollow's got a rep for pushing it."

Gray looked over to Natsu, who looked just as puzzled as he did. It was like they were speaking a different language. Also, what were they doing here?

"Everything all right?" Gray started, realizing that Rogue was studying his face intently. It made him feel slightly uncomfortable, but he nodded. "Sorry, you're just... a curiosity. I suppose we're very strange to you as well."

"Y-yeah," Gray replied, hooking his ankle around Natsu's under the table. "Everything is strange. You're... very different." Rogue smiled gently, unfazed by his words.

"We're all molded by circumstance," he said softly, running his fingers over the soft fabric of his pants. "But I have a feeling you can help change that."

Edo-Gray snorted but Rogue ignored him, moving back over to the wall and gesturing at them.

"Follow me," he said, then stepped through the wall and disappeared.

* * *

"Where are we?" Natsu asked, stumbling through the wall. Gray caught him by the back of the jacket before he fell on his face. Soft light spilled through the area, illuminating a spacious room. A long table stretched across the center, surrounded by chairs of various shapes and sizes. Maps, diagrams, lists and pictures were pinned to the walls in different configurations, and a desk in the corner held a large vidscreen and a stack of datapads. There was a single door in the far corner.

"This is the Resistance headquarters," Rogue explained, stepping over to the door and knocking. A muffled yell came from behind it, and he rolled his eyes. "Erza will be out shortly. Caf?" He pointed to another table in the far corner, where Edo-Gray was fiddling with a grungy-looking coffee machine.

"Please," Gray replied, moving over to the wall and looking over the pictures. Natsu shook his head, settling down at the table. "So you really are trying to destroy the stone?" Most of the diagrams on the wall were labelled maps of Acropolis, and there were several lists of known Magehunters and their positions.

"Yes," Rogue replied, sitting down in one of the chairs and crossing a leg over his knee. He gratefully accepted a cup of coffee from Edo-Gray, letting his fingers linger on Edo-Gray's hand. "We're hoping that if it's destroyed, it will return our magic." Gray glanced at the Purge mark on his doppelgänger's chest.

"And if we can take out Faust while we're at it, that's a bonus." Edo-Gray's voice was low and dangerous. He set another cup of coffee on the table, looking over at Gray and gesturing to it.

"You mean like… put him in prison?" Natsu asked hesitantly. Gray could tell that Natsu was disturbed by Edo-Gray's anger and bitterness, considering how warm and inviting his own alter-self had been.

"Kill him," Edo-Gray replied bluntly. "He deserves it for everything he's done."

Natsu was about to reply when the door at the far end of the room opened and Erza stepped into the room.

"Gray, you never told me you had a twin." Erza grinned and raised an eyebrow at Gray, arms crossed over her chest. She wore a simple tank top and low-cut pants with a gun holster hanging off her hip, and her long red hair was shaved on one side of her head. A nasty-looking scar ran through her right eyebrow and down her jaw.

"Frak off, Erza," Edo-Gray growled. "They're from Otherworld. The guild sent them." Erza's eyes skipped to Natsu, finally seeing past the dark hair and broken nose. Her eyes widened.

"Oh, _drek,"_ she murmured, moving closer to the table. "Man, you did a number on him. Are you ok-"

"Don't." Edo-Gray's voice was hard, and he pushed off the table, moving to the corner of the room and leaning against the wall. "It's not him, and it's not important."

"But-"

"I said _don't,"_ he snapped. Erza sighed, rubbing her face.

"All right, the guild sent you?" she asked. Gray dug into his pocket, pulling out a small piece of tech that Edo-Natsu had given him. He held it out to her hesitantly.

"They helped us get through the Wall," Gray explained as she took the tech and moved to the vidscreen in the corner. "They gave us that and told us to find you."

Erza didn't respond, slipping the tech into an open port on the terminal. The vidscreen powered up, and there was a moment of static before Edo-Natsu's face filled the screen.

"Hey, guys!" He grinned cheerfully, waving. "If you're watching this, it means the Otherworlders found you, which is ace, because Freed tells me they'll probably end up dusted. I don't believe that – it's me and Gray, and even from another universe we're pretty trick." A sad look flashed across his face for a moment, and Gray turned to look at his other self.

Edo-Gray was still leaning against the wall, one arm wrapped around his stomach and the other grasping the chain around his neck so hard that his knuckles were white. His face was twisted in an expression of longing and heartbreak, and tears ran silently down his cheeks.

"Look, I know a lot of us are gone," Edo-Natsu continued in the video. "There's seven of us left in Fairy Tail, and we don't know about the other guilds. Pretty sure Rogue and Sting got taken a couple years back, and Lyon…" his voice trailed off and he looked away from the camera momentarily. "Anyway, we're hoping to hell that you've got a plan. The Others need the stone to get home, so maybe they can help us. We sent our creds with them – hopefully they can buy you some spellcubes or something. If you can get the wall down, we'll be there helpin' you in a heartbeat."

Edo-Gray made a soft noise, swiping at his face with the back of a shaky hand. His chest trembled a bit as he held in a sob. Gray wasn't certain if he should do something to comfort his other self, but decided against it. He didn't want to end up with a broken nose, too.

"So… good luck, I guess." Edo-Natsu ran his hand through his hair, eyes focused on the floor. "We'll be here, takin' out Magehunters where we can. Stay strong, okay?" He gave a lazy salute and flashed one last half-smile at the screen, and then the video faded out, leaving only static.

An awkward silence filled the room. Both Erza and Rogue kept their eyes fixed on the screen, as if somehow it would summon Edo-Natsu through the machine. Gray and Natsu both looked at each other uncomfortably, each bursting with questions. Before Gray could stop him, Natsu turned to look at Edo-Gray.

"So why the hell does he think you're dead?" he asked angrily. Edo-Gray didn't respond, just kept his hand on the chain around his neck and his eyes on the floor. He wasn't crying anymore, but his posture was defeated. "Do you have any idea how-"

"Shut. Up." Edo-Gray's voice was barely a whisper, but it carried enough weight to stop Natsu mid-sentence. "You have no idea what you're talking about." Gray placed a hand on Natsu's shoulder, squeezing it in a silent plea for him to let this go.

"But he misses yo-"

"You don't think I miss him too?" Edo-Gray snarled, darting toward Natsu. He yanked back at the last second by Rogue and struggled against the grip for a second, then dropped his hands, letting Rogue pull him back until he was sitting in a chair on the other side of the table.

"Gray's execution was faked," Erza explained quietly as Rogue crouched beside Edo-Gray's chair, stroking his face and whispering to him quietly. Edo-Gray didn't respond, just stared blankly at the floor. "He was kept in Acropolis and tortured. I got him out and he's been living here since. Nobody can leave through the Wall, and they've blocked all signals except official Imperium holos. He's stuck here, just like the rest of us."

"Fuck, I'm sorry," Natsu whispered, looking across the table. Edo-Gray shook his head, jaw set stubbornly, eyes on the ground. "I didn't…"

"He was the only thing in this world that ever mattered to me," Edo-Gray said quietly. He finally looked up at Natsu, eyes dark and angry. "I did what I had to, to keep him safe."

"We have the creds," Gray said quickly, feeling his stomach clench at the expression on his other-self's face. He had to fix this, _needed_ to bring these two heartbroken men back together. "What can we do? Do you already have a plan?"

"I think we should call everyone in tomorrow." Erza glanced over at Rogue and Edo-Gray, who both nodded. "We'll take stock of what we've got so far and go from there."

Edo-Gray stood up, tucking the chain and ring back under his shirt and shoving his hands in his pockets. He gave Rogue an apologetic look, then nodded to Erza and brushed past Gray and Natsu. Moving to the back wall, he tapped out a short rhythm, then stepped quickly through the portal it created. Rogue exhaled, pushing himself back up to his feet.

"He's…" He sighed, rubbing his temples. "This is hard for him. Especially seeing you." He nodded at Natsu, who looked embarrassed. "When Erza got him out of Acropolis, we thought… we didn't know what to do. It was bad."

"What the hell did they _do_ to him?" Gray asked, feeling sick. He thought of the scars on Edo-Gray's arms and back and shuddered.

"Tortured him," Erza replied, sitting down heavily. "Tested their Magehunting weapons. Tested his pain tolerance. Purged him slowly instead of all at once. Two years is a long-"

"Two _years?"_ Natsu interrupted, eyes wide. Erza nodded sadly, combing her fingers through the ends of her long hair.

"He's… a bit better now," she said softly. "He works at the Pit and brings back the creds for the Resistance. Sometimes he lets… some people touch him." Erza's eyes slid over to Rogue, who was staring sadly at the black vidscreen. "He copes. Not _well_ , but he copes."

"We all do," Rogue replied, and Gray finally took the time to process the fact that Rogue's outfit and piercings and makeup weren't just who he was here. They'd came to him in a brothel, and he was dressed like a prostitute. He _was_ a prostitute, and used the room they had just been in to sell his body for money. Gray was slowly starting to understand Edo-Gray's desire for Faust's death.

"Do you two have a place to stay?" Erza turned to them and Natsu shook his head.

"We had our own credcard, but I guess it got flagged?" He sighed, rubbing his face, and Gray rested a hand on his shoulder. It felt like forever since they'd slept. He realized suddenly that it wasn't actually night – it was probably actually late morning. But with the darkness and fake neon lights down here, he guessed it didn't matter what time it was up above.

"You can stay here," Erza said, standing and leading them to the door she'd come through. Down the hallway were three doors – one on the left and two on the right. "Take the second on the right, sorry if there's junk in there, we don't get guests often. Sleep for a bit, then we'll get you something to eat."

"I'm going back to work," Rogue said quietly, coming up behind them. "I'm sorry that this is all so foreign. I hope we can get you home." He reached over and touched Natsu's cheek gently. "Don't let him get to you. It's not you he's mad at." Then he gave Gray a soft smile and was gone back the way they'd come in.

Natsu and Gray entered their designated room – a small space with two single beds and a table in between. Wordlessly, they moved the table and pushed the beds together, then kicked off their boots and slid under the rough blankets. Natsu wriggled until his head was on Gray's chest, tucked under his chin, and Gray's arms were wrapped around him.

"I'm scared," Natsu admitted after a minute. Gray sighed, leaning down to kiss his head.

"Me too," he whispered, tightening his grip on Natsu's waist. "Go to sleep, we'll figure things out when we wake up."

"Mmnmm," Natsu mumbled, burying his face in Gray's chest. It wasn't long before his breathing evened out and his body went limp against Gray's. Gray sighed, wishing he could fall asleep so easily. Instead he stayed awake for hours, mind racing as he tried to figure out how to get their other-selves back together, and how the hell they were going to get home.


	6. i get so high when i'm inside you

_TW for drug use_

* * *

Rogue was exhausted. He sighed, grabbing a metal bowl from beside the sink and sitting down at the tiny table next to the kitchen. He tugged the ribbon from his braid, letting his hair tumble down around his neck. The dark locks smelled like incense and sweat, and bits of candle wax were stuck here and there. He sighed, running his fingers over his scalp and feeling the release from the tight plait.

Adjusting the lamp on the table, he began to run his fingers through his hair, teasing out the beads, ribbons and gems that had been so carefully woven in there several days ago. The new jewelry had been worth the investment – today had been one of his best days in months. He tried to think about that instead of the appearance of the Otherworlders, and the look on Gray's face when he'd seen Natsu in the video.

The sound of the gems and beads dropping into the metal bowl on the table filled the tiny room. He and Sting couldn't afford much, but they had managed to scrape enough together to get a stack in the Gallows. It wasn't nice, or clean, or safe, but it was preferable to sleeping at the House or on the streets.

After Rogue was done with his hair, he carefully removed the nose ring, setting it on top of the gems and stones. He had just stood to move the bowl to the kitchen when the door _pinged_ open and Gray stumbled inside, shirtless under his jacket.

"You backwards?" Rogue asked gently, pulling his hair back up into a messy bun and moving towards the door. Gray grunted, toeing off his boots and tossing his jacket over them.

"No," he grumbled. "Wanted to, but I'm clean." Rogue believed him. His eyes weren't dark, and he wasn't slurring his words, so it wasn't likely that he'd taken anything recently. Rogue was relieved. Gray had shown up here a few months ago, hexed out of his mind, and he and Sting had fought so badly they'd nearly ended up at the clinic. After that, Rogue had made it clear that Gray wasn't welcome here when he was backwards. After today's events, though, Rogue probably would have made an exception.

He sighed softly and took Gray's arm, leading him to the table where he had just been sitting. Settling Gray into a chair, Rogue moved into the tiny, cramped kitchen and grabbed a metal box from under the sink.

"We're running out of Fix," he commented, holding the metal cylinder between his fingers and shaking it. He took Gray's chin in his hand and tipped it toward the lamp. A deep gash ran through his eyebrow and his lip was split and bleeding. A dark bruise was forming along his jaw, covering other half-healed discolorations from previous fights.

"I used my last one at the Pit on Nats- other-Natsu." Gray winced at Rogue's gentle touch. "I'm fine – it barely hurts, I don't need anything."

"You're so reckless," Rogue murmured, grabbing a metal bowl from the cupboard and filling it with water from the tap. Digging through the box, he found a white tablet that he tossed into the bowl, watching it fizzle until the water was calm again. Then he washed his hands in the sink and wet a clean rag with the water from the bowl. He gestured to the cut on Gray's forehead. "You're lucky we have enough to close that up, or we'd have to go to that leech down the street for stitches." Gray growled, grabbing Rogue's wrist.

"That guy is a creep," he said, voice low and protective. "Don't you remember last time?" A few months ago, Gray had broken a rib that had punctured his lung, and they ended up turning to a clinic for help. The streetdoc had tried to demand a night with Rogue as payment, but had settled for Gray _not_ cutting off his dick and feeding it to him.

"It's my job," Rogue replied flatly, wincing as he pulled his hand away from Gray's grasp. Gray's face immediately fell and he reached out again, gently this time. His eyes widened at the reddish marks along Rogue's forearm, then drifted to similar indents on his hips.

"Was this from a client?" He asked quietly, gesturing to what was clearly a handprint over Rogue's hipbone. "I thought Owl kept an eye out for _drek_ like this."

"She does," Rogue muttered, pushing Gray's hands away and returning to cleaning his wounds. "I didn't say anything." Gray was about to protest when Rogue shook his head. "I was tired then, and I'm tired now, and I don't want to talk about it." Gray sighed, flinching at the sting of the cloth over his cuts, but he was quiet while Rogue wiped the blood from his face, chest and arms. By the time Rogue was done, the water was a deep red.

"It shouldn't have to be like that," Gray said softly as Rogue took out the cylinder and began to spray it over his forehead. The deep cut stitched itself together neatly, leaving behind only a thin white line of scar tissue. "You shouldn't have to… sell yourself to them." Rogue refused to meet his eyes, and Gray reached out to run his fingers over Rogue's cheek.

"And you shouldn't have to let people beat you," Rogue replied, his voice thick. "At least I don't get hurt like this." He couldn't help thinking of a year ago, when Erza had showed up with a bruised, broken Gray who had refused to speak or even look at him. It had taken Sting and Rogue almost a week to convince him to eat, and even longer to let them do something as simple as touching his hand. Now the other-Natsu was here, and Rogue worried it was triggering something bad.

"Don't cry, _maitea_ ," Gray murmured, rubbing his thumb over Rogue's cheek that was now wet with tears. Rogue reached up and covered Gray's hand with his own. "We both get hurt." Gray sighed, standing up and pulling Rogue into his arms. "Just in different ways."

* * *

They stood like that for what felt like hours – Gray's arms wrapped around Rogue's shoulders, fingers in his hair, and Rogue's hands resting lightly on Gray's hips. Eventually Rogue's tears stopped, and he reached up to rub his face.

"Better?" Gray asked softly, pressing their foreheads together. Rogue nodded, returning his hand to Gray's hip and drawing soft, sensual circles on his skin. Gray shivered, making a quiet sound as one of Rogue's hands drifted down his thigh. He nudged Rogue until they were looking at each other. "Only if you want it."

Rogue responded with his lips, the kiss hot and demanding. A hand tangled in Gray's hair and he moaned, running his hands over Rogue's shoulders and down his chest. The intricate gold piercings were still there and Gray ran his thumbs over Rogue's nipples, reveling in the high, throaty sounds it drew from him.

"I like these," Gray murmured, nipping Rogue's lip and then leaning down to replace his thumbs with his tongue. The metal was cold and hard and he clamped it between his teeth, tugging lightly while Rogue whined above him.

"S-sting's sleeping," Rogue breathed, leaning back against the sink. Gray hummed and pressed his tongue flat against one nipple while pinching the other one. "W-e have to stay out… ah… here…"

"Why don't we wake him up?" Gray murmured against Rogue's chest, one hand moving down to stroke Rogue's thigh. Rogue responded by pushing his hips forward and groaning loudly.

"I'm up." Sting's rumbling voice came from behind Gray and a cold hand cupped the back of his neck. "Hey. You look like shit."

Gray hummed around Rogue's nipple, feeling Sting lean over him to kiss Rogue. His chest tightened at the feeling of being pressed between his lovers – something inside him felt _right_ herehere, felt _safe_. He moved to the other side of Rogue's chest, sucking and nipping lightly, and he could feel Rogue's hardness pressing into him. Gray groaned, tugging at the metal again and sucking harder, drawing a low, deep moan from Rogue's throat.

"Please," Rogue panted, reaching down and guiding Gray's hand to the front of his pants. He canted his hips against Gray's palm, hips jerking uncontrollably.

"You sure?" Gray asked, moving his mouth up to Rogue's neck for a moment. "You don't have to." Rogue growled and grabbed Gray's hair roughly, guiding his lips back to the piercings. Gray chuckled, flicking his tongue out.

"Yes," Rogue whined, grinding against Gray's hand. "You… take care of me. Care about how I feel. I want it." Gray made a sound of assent and returned to licking and sucking at Rogue's nipples.

"We'll take care of you together," Sting said, moving a hand behind Rogue's neck and pulling him in for a messy kiss. His other hand moved down to Gray's waist, trailing around to stroke him through his pants. Gray groaned, bucking forward into Sting's hand.

After a moment Gray stood up, gently nudging Sting out of the way so he could kiss Rogue. Sting growled, then started to run his teeth and tongue over the back of Gray's neck. Rogue kissed Gray gently, fingers buried in his hair, tongue moving against his. Gray made soft noises as Sting's free hand traveled up his side, alternating between caressing his chest and playing with the jewelry in Rogue's reddened nipples.

Gray moaned as Rogue's kisses moved to his neck, sucking at the soft skin behind his ear and nipping at his earlobe. He moved his hand to the waistband of Rogue's pants, whispering a soft _okay?_ and waiting for a nod before he removed them. Sting made the same quick work of Gray's pants, then maneuvered until he could grab both Gray and Rogue's cocks in one of his hands.

" _Ffff…_ " Gray moaned, reaching one hand back and tangling it in Sting's hair. He tipped his head to the side and kissed Sting, humming appreciatively as he felt the blonde man's own hardness pressing into his backside. Sting kissed like he fought – hard and sharp and certain. Between that and Rogue's lips on his chest and Sting's hand around both of their cocks, it didn't take Gray long to reach his peak. He kissed Rogue as he came, both of them panting and moaning into each other's mouths while Sting stroked them and held them and kissed the back of Gray's neck.

"Bedroom?" Sting suggested after they were all able to breathe again.

"Bedroom," Gray agreed, shuddering as Sting slid his hand off of them and rinsed it in the sink. "How're you doing?" The question was directed at Rogue, who was glassy-eyed and leaning heavily against the counter. Gray wrapped an arm around him and led him to the bedroom.

"Good," he murmured, leaning against Gray. "Just tired." Gray had no idea how Rogue could possibly work at the brothel for hours, then come home and want to do the same thing with him and Sting.

"Then come to bed, love," Sting replied, kissing Rogue gently and pulling them both back onto the bed. Gray ended up in the middle again, this time with his back to Rogue and his chest flush with Sting's. They kissed lazily, Gray shivering at Rogue's gentle hands on his back.

"What do you need?" Sting asked Gray after a while, running a hand down his chest. Gray shivered, feeling an overwhelming flood of emotions wash over him. It was too much. It was always too much.

"I need… I can't stop thinking about him," he whispered brokenly, nipping at Sting's jaw. "Make me forget." Sting growled in response, grabbing Gray's arms and pinning him to the bed. Gray knew that he could easily throw Sting off if he wanted to, but the feeling of being restrained was thrilling.

"I can do that," Sting murmured, pressing one more lazy kiss to Gray's lips before sliding down his body. He looked up at Rogue, gesturing to Gray's hands. "You mind holding him still?"

Half an hour and several creative positions later, Gray found himself shoved up against the wall, Sting thrusting into him from behind while Rogue knelt in front of him. He could almost imagine it was Natsu's lips around his cock, Natsu's hands stroking his stomach, Natsu's moans he was hearing. Almost. Sting dragged his teeth over Gray's back, tracing the shapes of his scars, while his fingers made new bruises on Gray's hips.

"Ngnnnn." Gray pressed his forearms against the wall, biting back the loud sounds that would cause complaints from the other stacks. Sting was grunting heavily on each thrust, and it felt so fucking _good_ , hitting him in all the right places. Rogue's mouth was so warm and wet and soft…

"Nngggggh – aah!" He panted, bringing a hand down to tangle in Rogue's hair. Rogue was stroking himself in time with Sting's thrusts, other hand bracing Gray's hips. Gray shuddered, knees buckling when Sting hit the perfect spot inside of him again. He couldn't hold out anymore. "G-gon-g… _aaah!"_ He threw his head back as he came, letting Sting dig sharp teeth into his neck as Sting rode out his own orgasm. Gray could feel Rogue groaning as he came in his hand, lips still wrapped around Gray's cock.

Sting's hands tightened across Gray's chest, holding him up as they both shook and shuddered, breathing heavily. Rogue stood slowly, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He leaned forward and brushed Gray's bangs out of his eyes, kissing his cheek. Gray could feel Sting still inside him, Rogue's hands on him, protecting him, keeping him safe. Maybe he would be okay tonight.

Then Sting squeezed Gray's shoulder and pulled out of him, and Gray suddenly felt empty all over again. The ache was still there, waiting for him.

"Come to bed?" Rogue's voice was soft, almost pleading as he caressed Gray's cheek. Gray hesitated – he didn't always let himself stay, but today he found himself nodding.

"Gotta wash up first," he mumbled, gesturing to the scrub room. Rogue nodded, moving to the kitchen to wash his own hands as Sting collapsed onto the mattress that was shoved against the wall.

Gray stumbled into the tiny space adjacent to the bedroom. It was a square room, barely large enough for one person to turn around, with a pull-out toilet in one wall and a metal button on the other. Gray pressed it, listening to the rumbling of the makeshift pipes that ran throughout the stacks. The shower system here collected rainwater from Upper, miles above ground, and ran it down to be shared by each unit. Some units had heaters, but Rogue and Sting couldn't afford one, so the water here was cold and smelled like rust.

Stepping under the water as it began to trickle from the ceiling, Gray sighed – even cold, it felt good as it ran over the aches and bruises on his skin. He grabbed the rough bar of soap from the dish in the wall and lathered it between his hands, washing the scent of sweat and blood and sex from his body. He wished he could scrub away the weight in his chest as well.

 _Natsu_. He knew, logically, that the young boy whose nose he'd broken wasn't _really_ Natsu. Not _his_ Natsu, anyway. They had made some mention of a time-skip in their world, meaning they were several years younger than him, and it showed. The other version of himself was off-putting as well – the way he used to style his hair, his face before the burn, his body before it had been beaten and scarred.

Gray shook the water from his hair, shutting off the shower and grabbing a thin towel from the rack. He dried himself off, then slipped back into the bedroom, finding his clothes neatly folded at the end of the mattress where the other two were already curled up. He slipped into his pants and shirt, then looked up to see Rogue, still awake, with his arm held out to Gray.

"Come here," Rogue whispered, grabbing Gray's wrist and tugging him down until he was curled up between the two men. Sting sighed in his sleep, snaking an arm around Gray's waist and burying his face in the back of Gray's neck.

Rogue moved closer and touched Gray's face softly, fingers drifting over his eyelids and up over his scalp. Gray let out a soft sigh, enjoying the sensation but feeling it draw the heavy pressure out from behind his eyes. Rogue didn't say anything as the tears began to fall, just combed his fingers through Gray's wet hair.

"I miss him so much," Gray whispered eventually, voice cracking as he cried. The heaviness in his chest was becoming all-consuming, choking his throat and burning his eyes. It was too much, and he felt the desperate need to make it go away with a handful of pills.

"I know, _karulino,"_ Rogue said sadly, cupping Gray's face between his hands. He kissed Gray, feeling the desperate press of lips in return. "If those two can help us, you might be able to see him again." Gray swallowed heavily, shaking his head.

"It's never going to be the same." His voice shook, his forehead pressed to Rogue's, hand on the Rogue's cheek. "Even if I see him again… I can't take back what I've done." He took a shaky breath, trying to ignore the images flashing through his head.

 _Fighting in the Pit for the first time and nearly the killing the man he was matched against. Taking Sin and feeling the delicious ache of the high before he crashed. Doing it again, and again, and again. The first time he slept with Sting and Rogue, feeling both full and empty as he let himself be cared for, and betrayed the trust of the man he loved. Snorting Flash in the back of the brothel to take the edge off his pain. Nearly killing Sting in a 'dorph induced rage._

"None of us can," Rogue replied as he combed his fingers through Gray's hair. "We've all done things we're not proud of. We do what we have to do."

"I'm sorry." Gray's fingers rested on the bruises that were now forming on Rogue's hips and exhaled softly. He drifted his hand up Rogue's arm, stopping at the Purge mark and tracing the messy outline of the scar. "I wish I could be better."

"Oh, Gray," Rogue murmured. He kissed Gray's forehead, then pulled him close, resting his chin on Gray's s head. "It's okay. I love you." Gray tried to relax, tried to let the solid weight of Sting's chest against his back and the perfumed scent of Rogue's chest under his cheeks lull him to sleep.

It didn't work. Four sleepless hours later, he slipped out from under Sting's arm, kissing Rogue's forehead as he stood up. Rogue blinked awake sleepily, frowning up at Gray.

"Go back to sleep," Gray murmured, running his fingers over Rogue's cheek. He reached down to the end of the bed and grabbed his jacket, tugging it on over his shirt.

"You're going to Kix." It was a statement, not a question, and Gray felt his cheeks burn. He didn't want to go, but he couldn't stop this ache, this uncomfortable feeling lying heavy in his chest. He'd never been good at dealing with his feelings. Rogue sighed, sitting up a bit. "Can I talk you out of it?" Gray hung his head. He knew that Rogue would rather Gray take distraction and pleasure from his body than from 'pharms, but Gray wasn't stupid. He knew when Rogue wanted it, like earlier, and when he was offering to make Gray feel better. And he would never accept the latter.

"I told you I wished I could be better," he whispered, clenching his jaw. "But I cant. Just… I'm sorry, and I promise I won't bring it here, ever again, but I just… I can't keep feeling this. I'm sorry."

"Just be safe," Rogue said sadly, reaching out and clasping Gray's hand. "Don't go to Kix, go to Haxus. I know it's more creds but he doesn't cut dirty." Gray nodded, returning the squeeze. Rogue rubbed his eyes, then tugged Gray's hand to his mouth and kissed his knuckles. "He'll forgive you. I know he will."

"I hope so," Gray murmured, turning and heading for the door. "I _really_ hope so."

* * *

Rogue was right – Haxus was a bit more holdup, but he agreed to cut a deal once he realized who Gray was. He took Gray's credcard and handed him a tiny black box with six blue-and-white capsules inside. Gray had considered getting Flash instead, but he had to deal with a Resistance meeting tomorrow, and Sin didn't give him a hangover.

He popped two of the capsules into his mouth and dry-swallowed them, making a face at the unpleasant taste. The other four he tucked into the inside pocket of his jacket as he made his way down the market. He could feel his muscles slowly relaxing, the ball of tension in his chest unwinding itself as the drugs flowed through his system.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been walking – probably hours – when he felt a touch on his elbow. "Gray?" He turned slowly to see the other-Natsu and Gray in front of him, looking young and terrified. He couldn't help his eyes from roaming over other-Natsu's face – same cheekbones, same green eyes, same puzzled expression. _Frak_ , this was going to kill him.

"Thought you were stayin' at the hideout," he mumbled, feeling the buzz of the drugs crawling up the back of his neck. Everything was soft around the edges, including the ache in his chest. _That's it,_ he thought, fingers unconsciously fiddling with the chain around his neck. _Just fade away._

Other-Gray looked at him curiously, and the sensation of looking at himself was even more unsettling under the effects of Sin. Gray generally tried to ignore the marks he carried, but the burn scar on his face and chest was hard to look at in a mirror. Seeing a version of himself that didn't carry those flaws made him… well, jealous.

"We are," other-Natsu said quietly, hands tucked in his pockets, eyes cast to the ground. "We just wanted to… um, eat. Erza gave us a credcard and said to go find food."

Gray raised an eyebrow. "…and?"

"We don't really know where to go," other-Gray admitted, stepping closer to the conversation. "Most of the food here is… really different. And everyone kinda looks like they want to kill us."

"'S cause they want your creds," Gray said, words thick and sluggish. "You look too… licit."

"Are you… okay?" Other-Natsu asked, frowning at him. "You seem… kinda out of it."

"Mm, fine," Gray replied, waving his hand. He sighed and rolled his shoulders forward. "Alright, find a 'mart, you can get two prepacks for 'round a hundred-fifty creds, but make sure you get 'em with chemtabs 'cause you don't have anywhere to cook them." Other-Gray was giving him a blank look, and he frowned. "What?"

"Nothing you said makes any sense," other-Natsu interjected. "What's a… chem-tab? Or a prepack? And…"

"Oh, for…" Gray grumbled, running a hand over his face. He was going to regret this later. "Just… follow me."

Twenty minute later they were sitting in the plaza with prepack meals open in their laps. Gray showed them how to activate the small tabs on the outside of the containers to start a chemical reaction to warm the food. Other-Natsu opened his pack and made a face at the contents.

"What _is_ this?" He asked, prodding it with his chopsticks. "Looks like goo."

"Processed soy," Gray replied, leaning back against a broken piece of concrete and watching the patterns in the air that only he could see. "'S really not that bad." He couldn't remember the last time he'd eaten something that wasn't a food bar or from a prepack. Everything just tasted kind of bland and uninteresting, and usually when he was jacked out on pharms - which was often - he didn't care to eat anyway.

Gray's skin started to feel uncomfortable and warm, so he shrugged off his jacket, tucking it behind his head like a pillow. His limbs felt heavy, and everything around him sparked with a strange sort of light. Other-Natsu's hair was glowing a neon purple, and Gray watched it with fascination.

"Holy shit, did someone seriously _bite_ you in the pit?" Other-Natsu was frowning at Gray's neck, now left bare without the coat collar to hide it. He frowned, poking at the mark and feeling only the dull, muted pain that Sin provided.

"Mm-mn, that one was from Sting," he said easily. Sting's sharp teeth had broken the skin in a few places, but it wasn't anything serious. "Pit doesn't have rules but nobody's bit me. You don't know if someone's dirty."

"Sting bit you while you were fighting?" Other-Natsu's face was adorable – nose wrinkled in confusion, oblivious to his companion's exasperated sigh. Gray felt a puff of laughter escape his lips.

"Pffft, Sting couldn't take me without his biosoft-tech and he knows it," Gray scoffed. "Nah, he bit me when we were… y'know…" He made a vaguely sexual gesture and Natsu choked on his food. Gray blamed the Sin for his lack of inhibition and willingness to share this information with people who were – despite one sharing his face – complete strangers.

"Oh. You… he…" Other-Natsu's face was pink. "You're… together?"

"Mm. Sort of?" Gray replied. Why was he telling them this? It wasn't any of their business.

"In our world, Sting is with Rogue," other-Gray explained, elbowing Natsu in the ribs and giving him a sharp glare that Gray recognized immediately. The ache tried to expand again but the drugs kept it deep below the surface.

"Mm, here too," Gray said, nodding. "They've got a stack… in the Gallows. Toy place, but sometimes I crash there." He could see the confusion on other-Natsu's place and he sighed. "It's… ugh. Complicated. There's… you – here you, not _you_ you – and me, but I can't get to you an' you think I'm dead and prob'ly would hate me, and then Sting an' Rogue, they're a thing but they... they helped me. Back when it wasn't good. Less good than not good now. So there's them, and they're good, and then sometimes me, and sometimes… us." He frowned, trying to figure out if he was making sense.

"Are you… high?" Other-Gray asked, leaning forward and frowning at him. Gray looked between he two of them in confusion.

"Y'know, like…" other-Natsu made a vague gesture next to his head and Gray nodded, suddenly understanding.

"Mm. _Backward_. Yeah." He blinked a few times, trying to avoid their gaze. It was too much like how Rogue and Sting looked at him whenever they found him passed out places after a jag. Instead he focused on the way the streetlights were sparkling, dripping down onto the ground.

"Shit, are you… okay?" Other-Natsu reached over to touch Gray's knee and he jerked back, shaking his head.

"Nnnoooo, no, no, no. You're too… much. Like him." He rubbed his eyes, opening them to see a downcast expression on other-Natsu's face. _"Drek,_ don' look at me like that." He sighed. "'M fine. It's just Sin."

"Sin?" Other-Gray looked concerned, but his words were turning neon blue and popping in the air. Gray reached out to try and touch one.

"Mmm. 'S kinda… you see things?" He watched the two exchange a look. "An' it makes it… easier." He placed a hand on his chest, then pulled his knees up, running his fingers over the thick fabric of his pants. "Can't deal with… things. Seeing you." A halo of soft light suffused around both boys, and Gray chuckled softly. "You're both so… young. Like looking back in time."

"Fuck, I'm sorry," other-Natsu murmured, running a hand through his hair. _Drek_ , even his gestures were the same.

"'S not your fault," Gray replied, resting his chin on his knees. "Haven't seen him in… three years."

"He misses you too," other-Gray said, stacking their empty prepack boxes and setting them aside. "It was hard for him to see me. But maybe we can get the Wall down and-"

"And what?" Gray muttered bitterly. "Think 's just gonna be like… a big reunion? Like things can be normal again?" He tried to wave away the pink bugs that were floating around him. "It can't. Can't be… normal. He deserves better now. They all do."

"Better than you?" Other-Natsu said incredulously. "He _loves_ you."

"He... loves who I used to be," Gray whispered, growling at the emotions trying to resurface. He was tempted to take another pill but didn't want the other two seeing. "I've done… things I'm not proud of."

"He wouldn't hate you for that," other-Gray said gently. "You haven't-"

"I told… things." Gray's throat was tight and he wanted to stop himself from saying these things but the Sin was making the words pour out of him in a jumble. "I told him… everyone's magic. I didn't want to but he had… and he promised…"

"Promised what?" other-Gray asked. He had moved closer – still not touching, but close enough that he could reach out and grab Gray's hand if he wanted to.

"Said he wouldn't kill 'im." Gray growled, bringing his hands up to his mouth. _Shut up,_ he though desperately. _Shut up, shut up, shut up._ But his mouth kept moving. "He got Lyon an' said if I told, said he w-wouldn't kill 'im." He heart other-Gray making a strangled noise. "An' I told an' he killed him anyways."

"Gray…" Edo-Natsu whispered sadly. "I'm so sorry."

"Always. Hurt always." Gray shuddered, pieces of his time in Acropolis flashing through his mind. "Dark, and hurt, and I said I wouldn't but I did and I… betrayed them."

"You were tortured," other-Natsu argued. He was keeping his distance, but Gray could still see his pained expression. "Anyone would break under two years of torture. The fact that you're _alive_ is a miracle."

"Not," Gray replied, brushing away the lights that were floating in front of his face. _Stop it. Go away._ "And here… I can't… can't _be_ right. Fight, drink, 'pharms. The only thing that feels real. And Sting and Rogue – I wasn't supposed to. Should just be him, but they… I feel… safe."

"He's not going to blame you for finding ways to survive."

"You… can't know that." Gray growled, tugging at his hair. The ground was melting away, pieces of the concrete turning to silver puddles that started to creep up his legs. _Frak_. This trip was getting bad.

"Yes, I can!" Other-Natsu almost shouted, and Gray flinched away from the sound. He looked up to see the boy staring at him intently. "I know, because he's me, at least a bit, and I would forgive you." His eyes were shimmering with tears, and before Gray could stop himself, he reached out and touched other-Natsu's face. Other-Natsu brought his own hand up to cover Gray's, expression heartbroken. "I would forgive you, Gray, and so will he."

There was a tense pause before Gray realized what he was doing and snatched his hand back. Growling angrily at himself, he stumbled to his feet, tugging his jacket back on.

"Can't do this," he mumbled, waving away the lights and shuffling out of the tendrils creeping up his legs. "I gotta... be a place." They were both looking up at him with twin expressions of pity and concern. Gray ran a hand over his face, then gave them both what he hoped was a reassuring look. "All fine. Just gotta... go."

"Are you s-"

 _"Gis revido,"_ Gray interrupted other-Natsu and turned around, dashing away from the conversation as quickly as he could. Everything was getting too big and too much and too loud, and he needed to take another one because he wasn't supposed to be _feeling_ but all he could _do_ was feel.

Gray dodged into the nearest alleyway and pulled the container from his pocket, tossing down one more pill with the water he'd bought at the 'mart. He sighed, sliding down the wall and settling himself on the ground, out of sight of people passing by. Closing his eyes, he tipped his head back against the wall and tried to forget, but other-Natsu's words kept running through his mind.

 _I would forgive you, Gray, and so will he._

* * *

 **Underspeak Translations**  
maitea = darling  
karulino = sweetheart  
gis revido = see you later


	7. we're painted red to fit right in

"How the hell are we going to get home?"

Natsu and Gray sat at the table in the resistance hideout, staring at the plethora of charts, maps and diagrams that were pinned to the wall and spread across the table. They were currently alone – they'd searched for Edo-Gray after he'd fled earlier but hadn't been able to find him. When they'd returned to the hideout the room had been empty.

"I don't know," Gray admitted, leaning his head in his hands and looking like he was going to cry. Natsu scooted closer to him, wrapping his arms around Gray's shoulders and leaning their heads together.

"We'll figure something out," he whispered, trying to reassure both of them. Gray shook his head, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands as the tears began to spill.

"He's just so... broken," he said, voice breaking as he wiped furiously at his face. "Th-the drugs, and I just... I get it, I do, I j-just..." He exhaled sharply. "They're... god, they're monsters. Faust, and Joekel, and whoever fucking... cut his arms up and beat him and... _god_ , it's just..."

"Yeah," Natsu said softly. "And I mean... did you see Rogue? He's a... a prostitute." He sighed, rubbing his temple with one hand while keeping the other arm wrapped around Gray. "I mean, he has to... have sex with strangers to survive. Does he hate it? Are they awful to him? What does Sting think? _Fuck,_ this place is so _fucked up._ "

Gray reached up and grabbed Natsu's hand, bringing it to his mouth and kissing his knuckles. Natsu sighed, his harsh breathing evening out under the gentle touch.

"And _you_..." Anger and pity flashed across Natsu's face in equal measure. "Fuck, here-you is a mess." Gray hummed in agreement. "The drugs, and that _scar_ , and Lyon's gone..."

"He's so sad and angry," Gray murmured. "He misses here-you so much. And here-you misses him too." His fingers drifted to his lips, thinking of the sad, desperate kiss he'd shared with Edo-Natsu before they'd headed inside the Wall. What was Edo-Natsu going to do when he found out that his Gray was alive?

"We're gonna fix this," Natsu said, voice suddenly determined. He pressed a kiss to Gray's temple, then turned to look back at the information spread across the table. "We have to."

* * *

"We're going to need a lot more frags."

Edo-Gray stood with his arms crossed over his chest, staring at the holographic map of Acropolis that was floating over the table. He'd shown up at the hideout half an hour ago, apparently clean and acting like nothing had happened the day before. At least, Natsu thought it had been a day. It was hard to tell without the sun.

"And where are we gonna get those?"

Natsu turned to see that Bickslow was speaking. Erza had summoned the rest of the Resistance members, and the small room was crowded with about twenty people. Natsu recognized some of them – Bickslow, Mest and much older looking Romeo from Fairy Tail; Sting, Rogue, Yukino and Rufus from Sabertooth; Jura and Sherry from Lamia Scale; and Hibiki from Blue Pegasus. The other few were unfamiliar faces.

"He's right, the creds that Fairy Tail sent can only buy us so much," Erza replied. She tapped her fingers on the table, sighing. "But we need them to take down the Wall. With Fairy Tail's magic, it'll be easier to get to the Stone and skrag it." She glanced over at Natsu and Gray. "After we get you two home, of course."

Natsu swallowed, not responding. There was something incredibly terrifying about all these eyes staring at him and Gray like they were some sort of freak exhibit instead of familiar friends.

"We don't necessarily have to blow anything up," Sting said, and Edo-Gray looked almost disappointed. Sting stepped forward and swiped away the view of the Acropolis, then pulled up another map of Imperium and mainland. Three red dots were highlighted – one close to Louen, one further north, and one on the island of Imperium. "Fairy Tail sent this intel along – these are the generators powering the Wall. They're connected to a backup, which means we'd need to nix all three at the same time. I could make data spikes that would overload the system, it's just getting to them that's the problem."

"Exactly, how are we going to get to Imperium?" Rogue leaned in, pointing to several lines that connected the mainland with the island. He was dressed in regular clothing today – dark pants and a heavy jacket similar to Edo-Gray's, with his hair pulled back in a bun. "We can't take the maglevs 'cause they ident-scan, and our ship would be shot down before we could get close."

"We could swim." Edo-Gray's suggestion cut through the room and everyone turned to him. He shrugged. "That's how Erza got me out. It wouldn't be easy, but if she drops us partway we could swim. They wouldn't be expecting it."

"That's because it's suicide," Mest interjected. Edo-Gray waved a hand at him dismissively.

"Erza and I survived it," he replied. Mest shook his head.

"I'm not gonna jump off a ship and swim to an island crawling with Cylons," he insisted. Several other people nodded their heads in agreement.

"I will." Natsu turned to see that Gray was standing, hands flat on the table. "I'm a strong swimmer. And the military can be drawn away by diverting some of them here," he pointed at Louen. "And here." He tapped Sycca, the northern city hosting the second generator. "If we incite riots it would also keep eyes away from the generators."

"Which is why we need more frags," Edo-Gray said, picking absently at the scabs on his knuckles. "He has a good point. If we go into those cities and cause some static, the military will head over and leave us with less Magehunters in Imperium."

"The question is, how do we get into Acropolis?" Hibiki stepped forward, flicking his wrist and enlarging the schematic of the building. "And how do we communicate between the generators? If we have to blow them all at the same time, we'll need some way of talking to one another." There was a murmur of agreement.

"If I can get to the mainframe and the relay, I can open up channels for us," Sting said, reaching up and tapping the tech next to his eye. "We have comms, just no way to use them yet."

"This plan has a lot of _ifs,"_ Rogue commented, playing with a loose strand of hair and giving Sting a serious look.

"What else are we gonna do?" Edo-Gray replied, fiddling with the chain under his shirt. "If anyone else has a better idea, let me know." The room was silent. "We've been trying to come up with something for a _year,_ and this is the first time we've had enough intel to make a real plan."

"It's not much of a plan if we all end up flatlined," Rufus argued. His gaze didn't quite meet Edo-Gray's – in fact, almost nobody looked him in the eye.

"Isn't your life all you've got to lose?" Edo-Gray demanded, his eyes dark and hard. "Do we have anything left _but_ our lives? And this...whoring and fighting and drinking and getting hexed?" Everyone but Erza, Sting and Rogue dropped their gaze to the ground and Edo-Gray snorted in disgust. _"Kovardaj._ How much more do you have to lose to these bastards before you're ready to die taking them down?"

Nobody said anything, and he sighed and turned back to Natsu and Gray.

"We're with you," Natsu said quietly. "What do you need us to do?"

* * *

"This is a training simulator." Edo-Gray held out a thick, black visor in one hand, and a pair of gloves in the other. "You wear these, and they let you see what the deck displays. Lets you practice shooting without actually shooting anything." He gestured to a vidscreen behind him. "I can see here what you see, helps me make sure you're doing it right."

Gray reluctantly accepted the strange headgear, then held out his arm for Edo-Gray to help him with the gloves. Discomfort was clear on Edo-Gray's face when their skin brushed, but he pushed through it until both gloves were on and fastened. Then he gestured for Gray to put on the visor. Gray tugged it over his eyes, blinking at the uncomfortable sensation of seeing something that wasn't there.

With the visor on, it appeared as if he was in a bare room with a target at the far end. Moving his head around, he was amazed to find that the illusion covered the full three-hundred-and-sixty degrees. Next to him was a table with a pistol.

"Pick it up," Edo-Gray said. Gray couldn't see him anymore, but by his voice he could tell that Edo-Gray had moved to stand behind him. Gray reached out hesitantly, surprised to feel that the imaginary gun felt solid in his hand.

"Whoa," he breathed, hefting it in his palm. The texture was strange but the weight was realistic.

"It's a _drek_ set, the gloves were cheap but they'll do for now." Edo-Gray's voice came closer and Gray heard him sigh. "I have to... help you. With your stance." There was a moment of silence until Gray realized that Edo-Gray was asking permission to touch him.

"Oh. Yeah. I mean, I know you don't... you can just tell-" He was cut off by a foot prodding his ankle, pushing him into a more balanced stance. A hand lightly touched his elbow and brought his arm up to aim the gun at the target, and another guided his other hand to brace it. "There you go. Now focus on the target, and exhale when you pull the trigger."

Gray tried to breathe out evenly, squeezing the trigger and blinking in surprise as a bright red _ping_ showed up on the target. It wasn't in the center, but it was fairly close.

"Not bad," Edo-Gray commented, sounding somewhat impressed. "Now, can you do it again?"

Gray fired off ten more shots, each moving closer to the center until he finally hit the red 'x'. The target flashed a few times in congratulations. The table beside him flashed as well, and a second pistol appeared.

"Impressive," Edo-Gray said, tapping something into the deck's keyboard. "You're pretty good. I'm a decent shot too, but Natsu was always terrible." Gray could hear the fondness in his voice, and it made his chest tighten.

"I've never used a gun before," Gray admitted. "It's not... we don't use them in our world. Well, two of our mages do, but they're... different." Edo-Gray made an unintelligible sound. It was so difficult to make conversation with him.

"Well, shooting a target is one thing, shooting people is another. Pick up the other gun." Gray reached out and took it in his right hand, hefting it to get used to the weight. "Let's practice with two, then switch to moving targets."

* * *

 _"Ow, fuck!"_ Natsu gasped, opening his eyes and bringing a hand to his nose. It came away covered in blood, and he groaned. "I don't know if I can do this." His ears were ringing, and a headache was working its way to his temples.

"It's not easy, but the Natsu I know can do it." Erza sat across from him in one of the smaller rooms at the hideout. Nobody had ever explained to Natsu exactly _where_ the hideout was located or how they'd built it, only that it could be accessed through several different secret locations throughout Undertown.

"It _hurts,"_ he complained, using the rag Erza passed him to clean the blood from his hands.

"So does flatlining," she retorted, clearly unimpressed. "If you want to get home, you're going to have to learn how to do this. There's no other way to get the armor and weapons to Imperium."

After the meeting with the rest of the Resistance, Edo-Gray had come up with the idea of trying to teach Natsu to use Erza's inter-dimensional space to store weapons, just like they had three years ago with Edo-Natsu. They weren't certain it would work, since Gray and Natsu didn't have their magic, but it appeared that learning new magic wasn't a problem. Natsu could _feel_ the space – it was like desperately trying to get a grip on something slippery. But over the last two weeks he hadn't managed to get his hand _into_ the space, never mind fill it with gear.

"All right, let's try again." He closed his eyes, sitting cross-legged on the bed and exhaling. He spread both hands out in front of him, trying to both relax and focus on the edge of the 'pocket'. Erza had tried to explain it as "crossing your eyes but with your mind", which had only served to confuse Natsu further.

A calm descended over him, and he felt his senses sharpen – he focused on the slightly musty scent of the room, the feel of the cheap sheets under his bare feet, the taste of leftover coffee, gritty on his tongue, the sound of Erza's breathing and heartbeat. _There it was_. Here was the difficult part – if he concentrated too hard, the pocket would slip away from him, but if he ignored it, it would dissolve and he'd have to start over again.

He felt the thin edge of it under his fingertips and he coaxed it towards him, keeping his breathing even and steady, leaning forward slightly to get a better grip. _Finally_. He slid one finger inside the entrance, tugging it until it began to open into a small portal. Part of him wanted to jump up and shout in excitement, but he kept himself calm and controlled until he had the portal open to the size of a dinner plate.

"Good," Erza said quietly, moving closer to him and passing him a set of balled-up socks. "Now put this in and close it. If you don't close it properly, everything will fall out into the void."

Natsu swallowed, opening his eyes a fraction and tucking the socks into the pocket. Then he began the slow, careful process of sealing it. When he finished, he pulled his hands back and let out a deep breath. It felt like a release – everything crashing down away from him – and then he noticed the blood pouring from his nose again. He gagged on the coppery tang, desperately wiping it away with the rag.

"That was perfect," Erza said, clapping him on the shoulder. "Now, you're going to need to fit enough armor and weapons for five people, plus explosives and any interface gear that Sting needs into it." Natsu groaned, feeling lightheaded.

"I'm going to bleed to death before I can help anyone," he complained, but he knew deep down that this was one of the easier jobs.

"Keep practicing," Erza said encouragingly. A knock on the door interrupted her and Gray poked his head in, looking over in alarm at Natsu's blood-stained face and shirt.

"'m fine," Natsu reassured him as Gray moved over to him and tipped his face up, inspecting him. "I think I got it. Just gotta keep doing it." His vision swam and he suddenly felt exhausted and cold, and he leaned against Gray heavily, shivering.

"I was gonna say that it's your turn for target practice, but I think you should take a nap," Gray said gently, looking up at Erza. She gave a soft smile and nodded. "C'mon flame breath, bedtime." Natsu didn't even argue, just let Gray pull him up and guide him across the hall to their room.

* * *

"He's never going to sell us what we need." It had been a month since their initial Resistance meeting, and Rogue, Sting, Edo-Gray, Erza, Gray and Natsu were gathered in the common area of the hideout. Erza had recently counted up their inventory and had found it sorely lacking.

"What _do_ we need?" Gray asked. He was leaning on the table, coffee in hand, rubbing his eyes.

"This." Edo-Gray swiped over to a new file, and everyone leaned forward, reading the long list of items.

"That's probably not everything," Edo-Gray added, rubbing the back of his neck. "And we have some of it already, but we need a lot more. We've got almost twenty-five of us going into this thing." After their initial reluctance, most of the other Resistance members had come around, and were working diligently to steal, train, spy and sow unrest before they put the plan into motion.

"I'm up to ten SINchips," Rogue said. He was dressed for work but was wearing Sting's heavy leather jacket over his bare chest to keep him warm. "I can grab a few more, but I don't want people getting suspicious."

He had been drugging some of his clients at the brothel and using a much gentler method of removing their SINchips than Fairy Tail had used on the Magehunters. He then replaced them with faulty chips that Sting had created, making it look like a simple tech issue that would be resolved with a new chip once the clients got topside.

"I'm sure we can get a few elsewhere," Erza said, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. "Just focus on not getting caught." Rogue nodded. Natsu frowned at the list.

"Where did you get the stuff you already have?" He asked, unsettled by the number of weapons. He was still struggling to accept the violent nature of this world, despite practicing with the pistols, as well as working on hand-to-hand combat with Edo-Gray. It seemed like Edo-Gray had less of an issue touching people when it was to punch or kick them.

"Skavak," Edo-Gray replied, pulling up a file and swiping it over to Natsu. An unfriendly-looking man with a full-face tattoo peered down at him. "He's a weapons dealer, and he's not the nicest guy around. He's just as likely to double-cross us to Hollow than he is to sell to us straight."

Over the past month, Gray and Natsu had become fairly well-acquainted with the dealings of Undertown. They were in the entertainment district, but Undertown itself spanned a much larger area. Although Imperium and the Magehunters knew about Undertown, they cared little for what happened here – unless it was related to suspected magic activity. In the absence of law enforcement, an entity named Hollow had appeared. Nobody had ever seen Hollow, but she profited from nearly every business, from prostitution to cage fighting to black market deals.

"I'm sure Hollow would pay double what we _own_ just to get rid of us," Rogue commented. "We're a threat to her. If we restore magic, Undertown and all of her business could cease to exist, and she won't be in power anymore. If we're going to buy from Skavak, we have to be careful."

"We're not gonna buy from him," Edo-Gray said, leaning forward on the table. "We're gonna steal from him."

Everyone turned to Edo-Gray and stared at him as if he had sprouted a second head. He shrugged, closing all the holographic documents and pulling up a new one – a three-dimensional representation of a warehouse.

"Look, Skavak's reprobate. He buys and sells people as well as weapons, and I'd just as soon see him take a dirtnap than give him our creds." Rogue's face hardened, and Gray suddenly wondered if that's what had happened to him. "Once we have all the weapons, we're gonna be leaving here anyway, and we won't be coming back – either we'll be dead, or we'll be free. So what we do doesn't matter."

"He has a point." Sting examined the map, tapping on the neural interface tech on the side of his face and placing his palm on the deck. His false eye went blank for several seconds, then he started to laugh. "His defenses are friable – no ice or anything. He probably thinks nobody would dare because he's ace with Hollow. It shouldn't be hard to get in."

"It's never hard to get in," Rogue cautioned, placing a hand on Sting's shoulder. "It's getting back out that's the problem. And then surviving the aftermath."

"So we kill him and negate the aftermath." Edo-Gray said it so simply, and Natsu felt his stomach twist. He wasn't sure how he felt about this, but he didn't know if it was his place to interject.

"I take it you have a plan?" Erza asked, flopping down into one of the chairs. She was holding her left arm and grimacing – yesterday she'd returned to the hideout with a blaster wound on her arm, courtesy of Hollow's men. Erza was a runner for another organization, and she trafficked illegal items across Undertown.

"I've got the beginning of a plan," Edo-Gray replied. He looked across the table at Natsu and Gray. "You two ready to use your shiny new guns?" Natsu blinked a few times.

"We... uh... killing..." He felt out of breath and leaned back into Gray for comfort. "That's not... we don't kill people." The words sounded stupid as soon as they left his mouth, and Edo-Gray gave him a withering look.

"Then you're gonna end up flatlined," Erza said, shaking her head. "I dunno what it's like in your world, but here you shoot first. There's no badges out here to bust the bad guys. There's you and your pistol and hoping like hell you've got faster reflexes."

"We're... that's not..." Natsu sighed in frustration, rubbing his face with his hand. Gray moved as if he was going to say something, but Edo-Gray interrupted him.

"What did you think you were practicing for? Doing tricks?" His lip was curled in a sneer. "You think this is for fun? That these are just some sort of misunderstood people who can be... redeemed or something? Those. Men. Are. Monsters."

Natsu made a noise of protest, but Edo-Gray glared at him.

"Wanna know how I got these?" He gestured to the flat, wide scars on his forearms. "Guy named Revik peeled my skin off, bit by bit, to get me rat on my friends." He put his hands flat out on the table so they could clearly see his missing fingers. "Then I got to pick which finger he cut off."

"What..." Natsu's voice was soft and sad and he felt like he was going to cry. Gray gripped his shoulder gently and he used the sensation to ground himself. His head was whirling with a hundred different thoughts and he couldn't keep them straight.

"And this one..." Edo-Gray pointed to the large scar that ran from his cheek to his chest. "You – here-you – were gonna d-die. You got hit by that stone, and your arm... it just started decaying. And I h-had to..." He choked a bit, his words thick with tears. "I had to keep you safe. So I said g-goodbye to you, and stayed behind, and tried take some of them down. I killed four men and I didn't blink because if I hadn't, you would be dead."

He reached up and angrily wiped at the tears that had formed in the corners of his eyes, then glared at the two of them as if daring them to say something. Rogue stepped up behind Edo-Gray and placed a hand on his lower back, and Sting moved to stand on his other side.

"I had to say goodbye to you," Edo-Gray said again, voice quiet and sad. "And we were..." He swallowed, clenching his hands into fists. "We were gonna get married. I gave you a ring that morning. We were... I promised you we'd be happy forever."

 _Oh god_ , Gray thought. Natsu made a distressed sound and brought a hand up to his mouth. They'd assumed that Edo-Gray and Edo-Natsu had been married long before any of this happened.

"They took our magic," Edo-Gray continued softly. "It hurts like hell, by the way – being Purged. Hurts worse than any broken bone I've gotten in the pit." He rubbed absently at a long, thick scar on his forearm. "They... killed... Lyon," he ground out, and Natsu felt Gray's fingers tighten on his shoulder. "Shot him in the head right in front of me." Edo-Gray's jaw was set, and his nostrils flared angrily as he spoke. "They've killed so many of us. Juvia, Cana, Mira, Alzak, Bisca... Makarov."

"Fuck," Natsu whispered under his breath. "I'm sorry. I'm so... I'm sorry."

"That's why you shoot first here," Rogue added. "I understand your trepidation, but hesitating isn't a luxury we can afford." He gave them a sympathetic look. "Sometimes, Joekel will keep some of the Purged at the Acropolis, to be used by those who live there how they see fit." He paused for a moment to let the implications of his words sink in. "And people like Skavak are the ones who buy people like me from Imperium and sell us to places like the House." He wrapped an arm around Edo-Gray. "I don't work there. I'm a slave because we," he gestured around the room, "aren't human anymore. And I would do _anything_ to be a person again."

Erza sighed, rubbing her face. Then she walked over to the other side of the room, opened up one of the crates, and pulled out two sets of pistols. Returning to the table, she set them next to Gray and Natsu.

"It's your choice," she said plainly. "We're going ahead with this, with or without you. We'll give you some time to think – you have until tomorrow to make your decision." With that, she stood and gestured for everyone to leave the room.

"Wait," Natsu said quickly as Edo-Gray turned to leave. "I don't..." He stood up, moving as if to reach out and then withdrawing his hand at the last minute. Edo-Gray looked at him curiously, then gestured to Rogue and Sting that he was alright. "I'm sorry." Natsu looked down at the floor and Gray stepped back a little to give them some space.

"It's not..." Edo-Gray sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It's not your fault." Natsu looked up at him uncertainly. "Don't... don't look at me like that, it's not fair. You and your ridiculous eyes." He huffed. "I'm not... I get it, okay? But... I thought I would never see him again, and now I do, and I'm not going to let anything get in the way of that."

"I'm sorry," Natsu said again, feeling small and childish. The age gap between them was unmistakable at times, and this was one of them. He started when he felt a hand brushing his. Edo-Gray had reached across the table and was very, very hesitantly touching the back of Natsu's hand.

"Not your fault," Edo-Gray said roughly, letting Natsu gently squeeze his fingers. "Just think about what we said." Then he withdrew his hand and nodded, moving back to where Sting and Rogue were exiting the room.

"Fuck." Natsu turned to Gray and groaned, dropping his head into his hands. "What are we supposed to do?"

* * *

 **Underspeak Translations**  
Kovardaj = cowards


	8. never meant for you to fix yourself

_TW for (consensual) violent sex, flaskbacks to torture and brainwashing_

* * *

As soon as they were through the portal, Gray growled and slammed his hand into the wall. Rogue tried to touch his shoulder but he shook it off, stalking to the other side of the room.

"They don't get it," he growled, leaning against Rogue's desk and sighing. "They're gonna get flatlined if they won't pull the trigger." Sting nodded, sitting on the edge of the bed and tapping the screen affixed to his wrist.

"Skavak's ice might be drek, but his guards won't be kind," he said, swiping through several layers of data. His false eye flickered as he absorbed the information. "Maybe we should do it ourselves."

"We can't," Gray argued, crossing his arms. "Nat- the other Natsu has to go. We need to smuggle the weapons out, and he's the only one who can do it." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Frak it. I can take him and watch his back. I can't guarantee he won't have to defend himself, but I'll take care of what I can."

"Gray…" Rogue said carefully, moving toward him and reaching out again. It felt sometimes like Gray was a wild thing, a surging, chaotic energy that couldn't be tamed. Rogue had heard enough of Gray's nightmares to know that his sometimes savage behaviors were very, very justified. Rogue reached out a hand gently and Gray looked like he might snarl, but instead he sighed and allowed the touch.

"I can handle it," Gray said, voice softer as Rogue caressed his cheek. He leaned into it and kissed Rogue's palm. "He's not… him." Rogue brushed Gray's bangs from his eyes, leaning in and kissing his cheek. Gray sighed, pulling Rogue closer to him and hugging him tightly. "If… if this works. If I see him again…" he trailed off, burying his face in Rogue's hair. "Do we have to end this?" His voice was small and soft and Rogue felt his heart break.

"Oh, _maitea,"_ Rogue said, stroking his hair and tugging him towards the bed. They sat down next to Sting, who leaned against Gray's back and settled a hand on his hip. "I don't know. It's up to you and him. It's… this has always been an… unusual arrangement."

"You're not just… substitutes," Gray said, voice shaky. "I wasn't just… waiting for him. I… I lo…" He sighed. _"Mi amas vin."_ Rogue held him tighter, kissing his forehead.

"We love you, too," he replied, tipping Gray's chin up to kiss him. Rogue knew that Gray had always felt like an intruder in his and Sting's relationship, but that was never how they'd seen him.

"Why don't we grab some ramen and head to the stack?" Sting suggested, pressing a kiss to the back of Gray's neck. "Rogue's gotta work soon." Gray sighed, nodding a bit and pulling Rogue back in for another soft, slow kiss.

"If anyone bruises you today, I'm breaking their legs," he said lowly, rubbing his thumb over the purplish-green mark on Rogue's wrist. "Don't let them hurt you, okay?" Rogue didn't nod, knowing that Gray knew that he couldn't make any promises.

"C'mon," Sting said roughly, tugging Gray to his feet and leaning down to kiss Rogue goodbye. "Let's go home."

* * *

By the time they got back to the stack, Gray's skin was thrumming and his chest ached, and he longed for the pills in his jacket pocket. He growled, shaking his head as he kicked off his boots.

"Give 'em to me," Sting said as if reading Gray's mind, reaching out his hand. "You don't need that drek." Gray hesitated and Sting grabbed him by the collar, yanking him forward. Gray gasped, feeling a sudden flush of arousal run through him.

"N-no," he stuttered, knowing it was a game, and that while the vicious look in Sting's eyes was real, the threats weren't. Unless he wanted them to be.

"You want me to hurt you?" Sting's hand traveled up Gray's chest, pinching a nipple through his shirt and then resting his fingers around Gray's throat, pressing just hard enough to be dangerous. Gray's breath hitched, and he felt himself growing hard. This was what he needed. Rogue was always gentle with him – always kind and caring. But Sting wasn't afraid to take charge, to be rough.

"Yes," he gasped, stumbling backward as Sting's fingers tightened, pressing into the sides of his throat and slamming his head back into the wall. "Gnnngghh, _frak_ ," he choked out, wishing Sting would press his thigh up against him. _Tell me what to do,_ he thought desperately. _I need you to tell me what to do._

"On your knees," Sting growled and Gray complied instantly, dropping to the floor and wincing at the scrape of corrugated steel. Sting's hand moved from Gray's throat to his hair, tugging it until Gray was looking up, throat bared. "You look so pretty like this."

The choice of words should have stung – Gray knew he wasn't pretty, wasn't attractive anymore. But the way Sting said it, it felt like it meant something else. Gray didn't respond, just swallowed heavily and kept his gaze trained on Sting's face. Sting kept one hand in Gray's hair, and the other hand traveled down to his pants, which he unbuttoned and tugged down to his thighs.

"Open your mouth." Sting's voice was rough and Gray obeyed, taking Sting's already-hard cock between his lips. This was easy. He knew what Sting liked – wet and rough with a little bit of teeth. Here was something Gray couldn't mess up. "Good boy," Sting whispered, jerking his hips forward and groaning at the choked sound Gray made. "You're so... nggghh... good at this."

Gray leaned forward and placed both hands on Sting's thighs but was quickly yanked back by his hair. A stinging palm across his cheek shocked him, and the hand in his hair tightened.

"I never said you could touch me," Sting growled, shoving Gray back against the wall. He was still gasping from the pain on his cheek, and he could feel Sting's demeanor soften. "You still with me?" He asked, voice gentler.

"Yes," Gray replied immediately, looking up. _"Verda._ Please."

"Please, huh?" Sting's face transformed back into its predatory gaze, and he stroked himself several times, a contemplative look on his face. Gray whined, wanting desperately to fix it, to make it better again. "Please what? Please let you suck my cock?"

"Yes," Gray whispered, his voice catching. Sting grinned, dragging a hand down Gray's face and grabbing his jaw. When Sting leaned forward again, Gray eagerly took his cock back into his mouth, keeping his hands pressed firmly on his own thighs. _There were rules. Sting said don't touch. Rules made things easy._

"Ahh, _frak_ , Gray..." Sting groaned as Gray took him all the way in, pressing up against the back of his throat until he couldn't breathe. Sting rocked his hips forward and Gray tried to relax, breathing deeply through his nose. He knew that if he tapped Sting's thigh three times, the other man would immediately stop, but he'd never used that before. Gray liked this – _needed_ it, even. It was freeing for Sting to take control, to hurt him and use him like this.

Sting's thrusting became more intense and he leaned over Gray, bracing himself against the wall with one arm. Gray's fingernails dug into his palm as Sting's cock hit the back of his throat again and again, and he gagged and choked around the sensation. The hand in his hair moved down to caress his cheek, then traveled lower to press against the hollow of his throat.

"Ahh...nnhhh...ah, Gray, _sankta so,"_ he mumbled, squeezing Gray's throat carefully. "I love you on your knees like this, choking on my cock."

Gray's hands trembled, wanting desperately touch himself, but he knew better. Disobedience brought punishment. Although maybe that was what he needed tonight. He slid his fingers over his thigh and they brushed against his cock through his pants; he moaned at the sensation and then gasped as Sting's fingers tightened around his throat.

"You're not listening tonight, are you?" Sting growled, pulling away from Gray and dragging him up to standing by his hair. He shoved Gray against the wall and pushed a hand against his throat until Gray started to see black spots. Gods, it was perfect. Just enough, and then...

 _"Cesu,"_ Gray gasped, tapping Sting's wrist, and the hand immediately disappeared. It was replaced by a rough set of lips, kissing away the forming bruises and biting at the skin.

"Turn around," Sting growled, unbuttoning Gray's pants with one hand and pushing them down to his ankles. He grabbed Gray by the hair and shoved him against the kitchen table, bending him over until his face pressed against the cool metal. "Yeah, just like that." Sting kicked Gray's ankles apart until his legs were spread and Gray groaned, hands clenching.

"Please," he begged, feeling Sting's hand on his hip, digging so hard he'd have bruises to match Rogue's.

"Shut up," Sting growled, hand tightening in Gray's hair, pressing him harder into the table. Gray could hear him fumbling with something on the counter behind them, and then he cried out as Sting shoved two slick fingers inside him without warning. "Don't cry," Sting murmured, leaning over and kissing Gray's back. "I know you can take it. Right?"

"Y-yes," Gray choked out, wincing at the pain but moaning at the sensation of Sting's fingers inside of him. He arched his back, pushing back against Sting's hand.

"Good boy," Sting purred, sinking his teeth into Gray's shoulder – not hard enough to draw blood this time, but hard enough to hurt.

 _Yes,_ Gray thought, gasping and jerking his hips as Sting fingered him. _Hurt me. I can take it. I'm strong. I need this._ His cock dragged against the edge of the table and he tried to adjust the angle, but Sting drove another finger inside of him and he shouted, biting his arm.

"That's right," Sting panted, working him open and tugging on his hair. "Let the neighbors know what you're up to. How desperate you are for me." Gray's face flushed at the thought of the people in the other stacks hearing his cries, but the haze of wantsurrounding him made it seem somehow less important.

"I'm…ngghhh…frak, I'm r-read-aah!" Without warning Sting withdrew his fingers and immediately slammed his cock into Gray, shoving the table up against the wall. He groaned, long and low, and let go of Gray's hair in favor of holding his hips.

" _Frak,_ you feel so good, Gray," he moaned, thrusting in again. He lifted his hand and brought it down on Gray's ass, groaning at the way Gray clenched around him from the pain. He leaned forward, placing a hand on the table, and his voice lost its sharp edge for a moment. "I'm not gonna last long, _mia amo._ Can I touch you, too?"

Gray hesitated, panting as Sting rocked into him over and over. Part of him wanted to deny himself the pleasure, but the other part just wanted to enjoy this moment, in case it never happened again.

"Yes," he said eventually, gasping when Sting's hand wrapped around him and started to stroke in time with his thrusts. The edge of the table cut into Gray's hips, but the pain only heightened the sensations until his movements became erratic and uneven.

"Gray…" Sting warned, tightening his hand on Gray's cock. Gray could feel his release building but he held it back, refusing to come before Sting. He clenched around Sting's cock and Sting cried out, a litany of curses falling from his lips as he came inside Gray.

"Frak, Gray, _via estas mirinda,_ gods…" He stroked Gray several more times and then Gray was coming too, face buried in his arms and hips jerking uncontrollably.

"Keep it down!" Someone from the next stack shouted as Gray gasped and shuddered.

"Frag off!" Sting called back, letting go of Gray and wiping his hand on his pants. He gently helped Gray stand, then turned him around and brushed his hair away from his face. "You good?" Gray took several shaky breaths, keeping his gaze trained on the floor. "C'mon, _maitea,_ look at me. You okay?"

"Mmm," Gray replied, feeling hazy as Sting pulled him into an embrace. He buried his face in Sting's neck, trembling with adrenaline. "Sh-shower?"

The two of the barely fit in the scrub room together, but Sting insisted on joining Gray, helping him wash his hair and running gentle hands over his chest and back. Afterward they curled up in the bed, naked, limbs entwined and foreheads touching.

"I'm sorry," Sting murmured, brushing his fingers over the red mark on Gray's cheek. Gray shook his head, leaning in and kissing Sting.

"I needed it," he said, shifting closer to Sting and sighing when an arm wrapped around his waist. His throat ached – it would probably bruise – but he felt… stable. The buzzing was gone and he just wanted to sleep. "Everything just feels so…"

"Mmm," Sting agreed, combing his fingers through Gray's damp hair and kissing his forehead. "But what other choice do we have?"

Gray sighed, reaching down and tugging the threadbare blanket over them both, tucking an arm under his head and closing his eyes. _I might see Natsu soon_ , he thought, and the flicker of hope in his chest ached. _What if he doesn't love me anymore?_

"Go to sleep," Sting said softly, reaching over and turning off the light. "We've got a lot of work ahead of us."

* * *

 **One Year Ago**

"You're alive?" Rogue stepped forward, gaping at Gray, who stood behind Erza in the doorway of their stack. His head was shaved and his clothes hung loosely off his frame, and his face was decorated with bruises and scars. The shoulder of his jacket was stained red. "What the…"

"I'd keep my distance if I were you," Erza cautioned, putting out an arm to stop Rogue from getting too close to Gray. Rogue looked up, puzzled, then took an alarmed step backwards when Gray _growled_ at him. It wasn't a human growl – he sounded like some sort of beast and looked like one too, snarling at Rogue and baring his teeth.

"Gray, enough." Erza's voice was commanding and Gray immediately backed down, dropping his gaze back to the floor and scratching his wrist, whispering to himself. Erza sighed, rubbing a hand over her face and stepping into the stack. Rogue and Sting both backed up and Erza gestured to the kitchen chair. "Gray, go sit at the table." He glanced up at her, eyes vacant, then looked hesitantly at Sting and Rogue. "They're friends." Gray lifted his lip in a half-snarl again, arms wrapped protectively around his body. "Gray! Sit."

Erza's tone was sharp and Gray obeyed it immediately, slinking past Sting and Rogue and settling himself into the chair. He continued to scratch at the spot on his wrist but didn't make any further movements.

"What the…" Sting swallowed, frowning at Gray and then looking back to Erza.

"I don't know what they did to him," she said helplessly. "The scars… it's horrifying." Rogue made a sympathetic noise, desperately wanting to go over and comfort his friend. "You can't touch him." Erza held up her arm to show them a large bite mark, deep into the skin. "He… if he's difficult, we found… he listens to orders." She looked sick. "I can't take him back to the safe house. There's too many people…"

"We'll take care of him," Rogue said, placing a hand on Erza's shoulder.

"He's dangerous," she insisted, rubbing her face with both hands. "He _will_ hurt you if he feels threatened. I just… we can't just lock him up. Not after…"

Rogue shook his head firmly, pushing his way past Erza until he was standing just out of arm's reach of Gray. Then he crouched down on the floor and tried to make eye contact.

"Gray? You in there?" The only response was a low growl, then a return to the whispering. Rogue could just barely make out what he was saying now – _it's not real, it's not real, wake up, wake up, wake up._ "Gray, this is real. We're your friends." Gray shook his head violently, eyes squeezed shut.

"They always say… real," he ground out, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms. "I didn't… take them. How? It's never like this. Too long. Why isn't he waking me up?" His hand returned to his wrist and Rogue realized that he was bleeding from the deep scratches.

"Gray, we're real," he said quietly, hands out as if calming a wild animal. "You're not dreaming."

"Liar," Gray replied, voice emotionless. "Not the first time. Too long now." He glanced upwards, as if someone was watching him from above. "Stop it? Please?"

"I haven't been able to convince him that he's not hallucinating," Erza said sadly, leaning against the door frame. "I thought I had, he seemed lucid for a bit, but…" She pushed her hair back over her shoulder. "He won't let us bandage his wrist. He has other open wounds… we can't get close enough." Her shoulders shook as she started to cry. "I was too late."

"Go home," Sting said gently, placing a hand on her elbow. "We'll take care of him. He'll be okay."

* * *

 _It hurt. Everything always hurt, here. Gray looked down at the dirty bandage wrapped around his arm and wondered idly if they were going to clean the wound this time. Revik had peeled his skin away yesterday, like slicing the outside from vegetables. There had been so much blood, but he hadn't talked. He couldn't talk._

 _The cell door rattled and a metal plate was shoved through the barred slot, containing the same lumpy, tasteless processed soy that it did every day. Gray waited a few minutes, huddled in the corner of the room, before moving forward hesitantly and grabbing the tray. He was starving – Revik hadn't fed him yesterday as punishment for… something. He couldn't remember what. He tried to pace himself but the food disappeared far too quickly._

 _Revik usually came at the same time, if he came at all, and when that time passed Gray breathed a soft sigh of relief. He stood up, stretching out his aching limbs and wincing at the bandage. His back still stung from being whipped last week, but it wasn't the worst pain he'd felt._

 _"Gray?" His head snapped up as a very, very familiar voice whispered his name. He peered curiously at the cell door. The voice was coming from the food slot, and Gray crouched down, frowning at it. "Gray, are you there? We're here to take you home."_

 _"…N-natsu?" He whispered. The world felt hazy, suddenly. His head was light and his limbs were too heavy and he backed against the wall, shaking his head in confusion. "How can you-"_

 _"Stand back from the door."_

 _Gray obeyed, crossing his arms over his stomach and wincing at the loud clank from outside. Then the door swung open and…_

 _It **was** Natsu. Pink hair and arms wrapped around Gray, even before he could flinch away from the touch. Rogue was behind him, gun in his hands, looking up and down the corridor. _

_"I thought you were dead," Natsu whispered, and Gray let his hands drift around his partner's waist. This was… how did they find him? His voice wasn't working, he couldn't get anything out past the lump in his throat. "Frak, I'm so happy you're alive. We have to go."_

 _"How… Revik…" Gray stuttered as Natsu pulled back from him, running the back of his fingers over Gray's cheek._

 _"I'll explain once we're out of here," Natsu said hurriedly, pulling a pistol from its holster and handing it to Gray. The weight of the weapon felt unfamiliar in his hands after so many… weeks? Months?_

 _"How long… have I been in here?" He asked as they stepped into the hallway. The lights were too bright and he winced._

 _"Six months," Natsu replied sadly, grabbing his hand and pulling him down the hallway. Rogue covered for them, using some sort of tech to override the code on the door and get them out of the lab. "I'm sorry, darling."_

 _Gray frowned. Natsu had never called him that before._

 _"Wait, you… your arm…" He frowned at Natsu, glancing down at his two whole and very functioning arms. No mark from the purging stone. How…_

 _"Gray, it's not important right now," Natsu insisted, grabbing his hand and pulling him away from the cell. Gray tugged back, feeling a sick sense of unease._

 _"Your arm, it… I saw it…" He brought his hands up to his head as something dark flashed through his mind. Black and red and teeth._

 _"Gray, let's **go**." Natsu's tone was angry now and he'd never spoken like that, even before they were together, back when they shouted insults at each other for fun. Something wasn't right about his eyes. They looked…_

 _"This isn't real," Gray whispered, disappointment and anger and defeat crashing in his chest. He dropped the gun and backed against the wall, bringing his hands to his face. "This isn't real. You're not real."_

 _"Of course I'm not real," Natsu said, his voice transforming to Revik's as he grinned. His teeth grew sharp and he reached out for Gray who cried out and buried his head in his arms. "Nobody is coming for you."_

 _"Please," Gray begged, running his hands over his head and crying. "Stop it. Stop it, this isn't real, you aren't real, I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming…"_

"Gray." He blinked. The room was dark but there was a bed under him instead of the cell floor. He sat up, scurrying backward until his head hit the wall. A soft light began to emanate from the other side of the room and somebody moved towards him.

"No," he pleaded, staring around in confusion. Was this real? Had it been a dream? Where was Revik? "Please, I don't…"

"Gray, it's Rogue." A soft voice broke through the darkness and he peered at the figure crouched down in front of him. Rogue. But he looked different from the… dream? Memory? Hallucination? His hair was longer and his ears were pierced and… was he… "Gray, this is real, you're with Sting and me, in Undertown. Remember?"

 _Undertown._ Revik had never talked about that. And this Rogue didn't look… fake. Revik could only make what he thought was real.

"Real?" He asked shakily. Rogue moved closer to him and he growled, deep in his throat. _Don't touch,_ he thought, snarling and pulling in on himself. _Don't touch, touch only hurts._ Rogue raised his hands and backed away again, settling onto the floor.

"Real," he said again, running his hands through his hair. It was longer than it had been… before. "Erza got you out. You're not dreaming. Well, you were, but you're awake now. Are you hungry?"

"No!" Gray shouted sharply. That's where the drugs were. Food was dangerous – if he didn't eat, he couldn't be drugged. And he hadn't eaten. So then this wasn't… but what if it was? He groaned and grabbed his head, dropping it between his knees.

"Okay, we don't have to eat," Rogue said, hands out in a placating gesture. Rogue had always been gentle. "Will you let me look at your wrist?"

Gray glanced down at his arm and realized that he'd rubbed the skin raw – it was a dark, bloody scab. The rest of his arm was covered in dirty bandages, and he could feel the ache in his shoulder where he'd been shot… how long ago? He wasn't sure.

"No touch," he said gruffly, holding his wrist to his chest. "Can't hurt."

"I'm worried it's going to get infected," Rogue explained calmly. "What if I put the bandages on the bed and you do it? Is that okay? I can explain what to do?"

Gray dropped his head back down and whined – a low, sad, frustrated sound. It would hurt. It always hurt. Everything hurt.

"Gray, plea-"

"No." He pushed himself further into the corner and hugged his knees to his chest. "Leave me alone."

* * *

"We can't just drug him," Rogue hissed under his breath, glancing over at Gray. He was sitting against the wall, eyes vacant as he picked at the now-infected wound on his wrist.

"He's going to die of sepsis if we don't clean those wounds," Sting argued. "He's already got a fever. And he needs a shower. It's been a week, we have to do something." He sighed. "A guy I work with got me those sleep patches. It'll knock him out for a few hours. Long enough to wash him up and bandage those wounds."

Rogue exhaled, pinching the bridge of his nose. Sting was right, of course, but he didn't want to betray Gray's trust. Gray still wouldn't let either of them anywhere near him, and he refused to eat for fear of being drugged. He barely slept, and when he did it was filled with nightmares.

"You distract him and I'll grab him, okay?" Sting squeezed Rogue's arm gently. "It's for his own good."

Rogue sighed, grabbing a plate with some hard biscuits on it and making his way over to Gray. Gray didn't respond, just kept mumbling to himself. Rogue forced himself not to make a face – Gray smelled awful, and the wound on his wrist and on his arm were both bright red and weeping.

"Hungry?" He said gently, trying to get Gray's attention. Sting approached from the other side, 'derm in hand. "C'mon, love, you haven't eaten in almost a week."

"Not hungry," Gray replied, eyes slightly glassy. He glanced up at Rogue and Sting took the opportunity to lunge in from the side, wrapping an arm around Gray's throat and slapping the patch to the side of his neck.

"Shhhh, go to sleep," Sting whispered as Gray flailed in his arms, eyes wide and teeth bared.

"OFF!" He screamed, scrabbling at Sting's arm around his neck. Rogue stepped forward and grabbed his hands, holding them firmly against his chest. "Off! Let go! Don't touch!" Gray's eyes were quickly filling with tears and Rogue's heart started to break. "Please. Don't touch. P-ple… se…" Gray's voice trailed off and within seconds he was sound asleep in Sting's arms.

The scrub room was tiny, making washing up difficult, but Rogue managed to bring the unconscious Gray in with him, settling him on the floor against the wall while he cleaned his skin. The various scars revealed by peeling off his dirty clothes made Rogue sick, and he made sure to clean the still-healing wounds as gently as possible.

With the supplies Sting got from his friend they were able to disinfect and bandage the wounds on Gray's arm, wrist and shoulder, and he had even managed to swipe a couple weeks' worth of doxy to help with the infection, which were given via another 'derm on the side of his neck. They decided to give him a second sleep patch, so he didn't wake again until the next day.

"Don't touch it," Rogue said firmly when Gray woke up and saw the bandages on his arm. He looked around, confused, and when he reached for them, Rogue repeated, "Don't. Touch." He struggled to keep his voice authoritative and Gray withdrew his hand.

"Why?" Gray asked after a moment, voice almost petulant. "Said don't touch." Rogue had been expecting overt hostility when Gray woke up, so confused indignation was a step up from that.

"You were making yourself sick," Rogue explained, settling down close to the edge of the mattress. "We want to help you, but we can't watch you hurt yourself. And we didn't hurt you. Do you feel better?"

Gray's face twitched in irritation, but it seemed like he was in a more amicable mood than before. Maybe the sleep had helped.

"Some," he said begrudgingly. His stomach growled and he looked embarrassed.

"Come eat," Rogue said, standing up slowly. "I promise it's not drugged. You can watch me make it." Gray pushed himself to his feet and then staggered as a wave of dizziness hit him. He placed a hand on the wall, shying away from Rogue's outstretched hand. "You okay?"

Gray grunted in response, following Rogue out of the tiny bedroom and taking a seat at the kitchen table. Rogue pulled something toward him and began to slice it with a knife.

"Here, we managed to get some fruit someone smuggled in from Upper. Remember pears?"

"Not stupid," Gray grumbled, irritation clear on his face. Rogue placed the plate on the opposite side of the table and let Gray slide it cautiously over to himself. He sniffed the fruit suspiciously before taking a small bite.

"Good?" He asked, and Gray nodded. "Can I sit with you?" Gray swallowed and glanced across the table – it was tiny, barely big enough for two people, which meant it put Rogue too close to him. Rogue could see the struggle across his face, but he finally looked up and gave a small nod. "Thank you."

They sat in silence for a moment while they ate, Rogue being extremely conscious of not touching Gray's legs under the table. After they finished eating Rogue reached out for Gray's plate, sighing when he flinched.

"Gray, I think you know that I'm not going to hurt you." Gray frowned, looking like he was going to growl at Rogue again. He'd backed his chair up against the far wall, which still didn't put him very far away, and his eyes were widened in fear. "Gray. I'm your friend. Not all touch hurts. Remember before?"

"Before…" Gray repeated, blinking and thinking back to Natsu – holding him, kissing him, twining their fingers together and… it hadn't hurt. He swallowed, trying not to let his hands tremble. "Natsu," he whispered.

"Yeah," Rogue said softly. "He's still alive." Gray looked up hopefully. "We saw him before we were taken. He lost his arm – most of it – but he's doing okay. He misses you." Gray reached up and touched the ring on its chain around his neck. His fingers were too thin to wear it now.

"Revik…" He began, his voice hoarse. "Hurt. All the time." His hands trembled and he blinked back tears. "I c-can't… I know… but I'm…scared." He shivered, then slowly reached out his hand across the table, wincing and looking away. "Please… don't hurt."

"I could never hurt you, love," Rogue said gently, reaching out and brushing his fingers across the back of Gray's outstretched hand. Gray flinched, ready to recoil, but the touch continued, soft and gentle. Rogue's fingers traced a pattern on his palm, then brushed the inside of his wrist. "See? I'll never hurt you."

Gray let the gentle touches continue for another few seconds, then withdrew his hand shakily, breathing heavily.

"Sorry," he whispered. "Too much."

"Hey, it's okay," Rogue murmured, moving to crouch down next to Gray without touching him. "We're gonna get through this, I promise."

* * *

 **Six** **Months Later**

"You okay?" Gray slipped into the stack quietly, kicking off his boots and then standing there, awkwardly. His hair was growing back – choppy and uneven, but better than before. His eyes were still haunted and his skin was still scarred, but at least he was sort of functioning.

"Too many people," he explained shortly, crossing his arms over his stomach. Sting reached out for him and he hesitated, then took the hand and let Sting pull him into the bedroom.

"You did good," Sting praised, settling on the bed and crossing his legs. He gestured for Gray to sit next to him, running gentle fingers up and down his arm the whole time. He and Rogue had figured out that if touch was used in conjunction with praise, it was better received. Gray still refused to let anyone else touch him and had the occasional panic attack in crowded places, but in the privacy of the stack he was much more willing.

"Stupid," Gray muttered under his breath. Sting was concerned that he still seemed to speak in fragments – very rarely did he utter full sentences. It was as if each word cost him something. It probably had, Sting supposed. "Should… before, was okay."

"But it's not before," Sting said, running his hand up to Gray's shoulder. Gray tensed for a moment – that wound had taken a long time to heal and it still bothered him sometimes – but eventually he let Sting brush his fingers against the side of his neck.

"Miss him." Gray looked down at the floor, reaching up and rubbing his fingers over the ring under his shirt. "But…"

"But what, love?" Rogue appeared in the doorway, shaking out his long hair. He shrugged off his jacket and tossed it onto the second mattress, which largely went unused now. Gray had appeared at the side of their bed one night, eyes full of tears, and Rogue had pulled him down between them. Since then it had been an unspoken agreement that they slept in the same bed.

"Just…" Gray made a frustrated sound, tipping his head toward Sting's hand. The blond man ran a thumb over his cheek gently and Gray sighed. "Like this. Like you." His face flushed as Rogue crouched down beside him, smiling gently.

"We like you too," he said, running a hand up Gray's thigh. Gray shivered, closing his eyes and exhaling softly. He reached out tentatively and ran a hand through Rogue's hair.

"Like… your touch. Not others, just you." He flicked his eyes to Sting. "Both of you." Sting hummed and leaned in slowly, touching their foreheads together. Gray took a shaky breath, feeling a hot spike of panic run through him. What was this going to cost him?

"Nothing," Rogue said, knowing exactly what he was thinking. "It's only if you want it, love."

"Want it," Gray insisted, chest trembling. Rogue's hand drifted up his thigh again, caressing his hip and then splaying across his stomach. This was something… this was something Revik had never taken. All the beating and the flaying and the drowning and the drugs had never led to this being taken away from him.

"Can I?" Sting whispered, nudging Gray's nose with his own. Gray let out a soft breath and nodded, and then Sting's lips were on his, pressing insistently, soft and hot and gentle. He moaned into Sting's mouth, feeling Rogue's hand on his other hip, shifting between Gray's legs.

"You're doing so good," Rogue murmured, pressing a hand against Gray's stomach and encouraging him to lie back. Sting followed him, keeping his lips on Gray's and one hand in his hair. "Let us take care of you."

Sting's tongue coaxed Gray's lips open and he whimpered, reaching up and fisting a hand in Sting's hair. Sting hummed, biting down gently on Gray's lip and then tipping his head to the side, trailing soft kisses down the side of Gray's neck.

"F-frak," Gray whispered, feeling Rogue tug up his shirt and begin to kiss his stomach, ignoring the scars as he dragged his lips over the uneven skin. Gray squirmed – his pants were too tight; he was so, so hard and he couldn't breathe.

"Okay?" Rogue asked, fingers flicking over the button of Gray's pants.

"Yes, yes, yes," Gray gasped, bucking up into Rogue's palm as Sting's teeth sank gently into his neck. "Harder," he demanded and Sting chuckled, pressing down and just barely breaking the skin. "Gnnnghh…"

This was something all his own. This hadn't been taken from him. Rogue and Sting cared for him and were gentle with him and kept him safe. And gods, he loved them. He loved Natsu, still, and the thought of his beautiful smile made Gray's chest ache, but he was gone, unreachable on the other side of the Wall. And he was so good, so pure, he couldn't love the filthy mess that Gray had become. But Rogue and Sting could, and they were making him feel so, so good.

Rogue slid Gray's pants down and slowly took Gray's cock into his mouth, holding his hips down so he couldn't buck up. Gray grabbed a handful of Rogue's hair and tugged – not rough, like some of his clients, but just enough to let him know that it felt good.

"Mmm," Sting hummed, nipping at Gray's earlobe. "Feels good, yeah? He's so good at that. I bet you are, too." Gray groaned, throwing his head back as Sting leaned down and tugged his shirt up higher, then closed his mouth around Gray's nipple and bit down, hard.

"Fff… ahh…" Gray's sounds were incoherent as Sting pinched his other nipple as he sucked, flicking his tongue gently over the one he'd bitten. "F-feels… ahh… "

"You'll have to remember this," Sting growled, moving his mouth to the other side of Gray's chest. "This is what Rogue likes. Next time you can do it to him." Gray groaned at the though of pleasuring Rogue, pressing him down into the bed and toying with him until he came. "You like that, huh?" Sting's hand joined Gray's in Rogue's hair, brushing though it gently as Rogue bobbed up and down on Gray's cock. "And this is what I like," Sting continued. Gray felt the edges of Rogue's sharp teeth scraping against the side of his cock and he cried out, trying to push up his hips but unable to move against Rogue's strong grip. "So next time you can try sucking my cock, if you want."

"Yes," Gray gasped, feeling the warm sensation of release deep in his stomach. "C-can't… I'm g-gonna…"

"Let go," Sting whispered, moving back up to Gray's lips and kissing him hard enough to nick him with his teeth. "Let it feel good."

"Gnnghh… aaah!" Gray threw his head back as he came, shuddering and jerking into Rogue's mouth. Rogue continued sucking and licking until Gray whined from the over-sensitivity. Then Rogue leaned back and wiped his mouth, pressing a kiss to Gray's hip. "F-fff…" Gray couldn't find words, just relaxed into the heavy sense of bliss that enveloped him.

"Looks like we'll have to take care of each other this time," Sting rumbled, pulling Rogue towards him and kissing him. His hand snaked down to wrap around Rogue's cock and Rogue groaned, deepening the kiss. "You wanna watch?" The question was directed to Gray, who let out an enthusiastic moan.

So he watched. Watched as Sting pressed Rogue onto his stomach and licked him until he was wet and writhing. Watched Sting finger Rogue open, then slide his cock into the other man, slowly, showing off for Gray. Watched him reach around and stroke Rogue as he rocked into the him, listened to their moans filling the small stack, gazed at their faces as they found their release in each other.

Afterward they all collapsed on the bed, Rogue nudging Gray until he was in between the two of them. Sting kissed him softly, brushing hair from his face, while Rogue wrapped an arm around his stomach and nuzzled the back of his neck.

"You with us?" Sting asked gently. They'd been asking that for months now, making sure Gray was here instead of _there_.

 _"Verda,"_ Gray replied softly, and Sting smiled.

"We'll keep you safe, love," Rogue whispered, tightening his grip on Gray. "We'll care for you and make sure nothing hurts you again. _Ni amas vin."_ Gray exhaled, covering Rogue's hand with his own.

"I love you two, too," Gray replied sleepily, feeling warm and safe between them. _"Dankau pro savi mian vivon."_

* * *

 **Underspeak Translations**  
Maitea = sweetheart  
Mi amas vin = I love you  
Verda = I'm okay ('green')  
Sankta so = holy hell  
Cesu = stop  
Mia amo = my love  
Vi estas mirinda = You're amazing  
Karra = love  
Ni amas vin = We love you  
Dankon pro savi mian vivon = Thank you for saving my life


	9. Chapter 9

"This is the worst idea we've ever had," Natsu grumbled, shifting uncomfortably in his new clothes. Erza had equipped them both with thick, reinforced undershirts, as well as pistol holsters that displayed their new weapons. Gray wasn't about to admit it out loud, but Natsu looked hot as hell.

"Nah, we've had worse," Gray said, keeping a nervous hand on the strap of his bag. Inside was all the material they required to complete their plan, including several explosive spellcubes and a handful of grenades. "Remember when you stole all of Lucy's underwear?" Natsu snorted, a smile on the corner of his lips.

"True, I think I'm more scared of her than I am of this Skavak guy." His voice was filled with bravado, but Gray could tell it was mostly fake. Natsu was likely as scared as he was. They may have agreed to pull off this job, but that didn't mean it wasn't terrifying.

They walked in silence for a while, Gray checking their datapad for directions every few blocks. Eventually they left the entertainment district and headed into the slums, which smelled terrible. Shipping containers were stacked against the walls with doors cut haphazardly into their sides, joined together by precarious-looking catwalks and staircases. Dirty, barefoot children ran and screamed in the street while their parents hung laundry between the stacks. Gray didn't like to think about the fact that this was where Edo-Gray, Rogue and Sting lived.

"Are we sure?" Natsu whispered, hand hovering nervously over the pistol at his hip. His voice was high and shaky, and Gray reached over, grabbing the pink-haired boy's hand and bringing it up to his mouth. He kissed Natsu's knuckles and heard his partner's harsh breathing even out as he exhaled sharply, tension leaving his shoulders bit by bit.

"We talked about this." Gray's voice was quiet and sad. The decision had been easier for him than for Natsu. Gray knew evil – he'd seen Deliora kill his parents and hadn't hesitated to return the favor when the time had come. Just because these were humans didn't mean they weren't monsters. "Even if we could get home without them…we can't just leave them like this." He sighed. "We need to fix this."

"I know." Natsu rubbed his eyes. "I just…I know that. And I see what Revik did to here-you. He…he tortured him. Cut off his fingers." He hesitated, stomach roiling. "I do want to make things right."

"Part of me wants to tear Revik apart with my bare hands," Gray muttered quietly. Natsu squeezed his hand again and they lapsed back into silence.

After another half an hour the scenery began to change again, and they found themselves in an industrial district. Warehouses lined the streets, each with symbols and phrases in Underspeak sprayed across the sides. The boisterous noise of the slums was gone, replaced by an eerie silence that made Gray's hairs stand on end.

"We're close to the target," he murmured, reaching up and tapping the earpiece that linked them to Sting and Edo-Gray. The datapad showed their destination to be ahead several blocks on the right.

"Copy." Edo-Gray's voice echoed in his earpiece, and Gray shivered at the sensation of hearing himself talk. "I'm heading for the entrance. Sting, are the alleys clear?"

"As far as I can tell." A clicking sound came from his end and Gray assumed he was typing. "Couple of cameras are burnt, this guy's either really confident or really stupid."

"Probably both," Edo-Gray grunted. "I'm almost in position. You two, get yourselves to the roof and let me know when you're in the shafts. Stay sharp." Then the transmission cut out and Edo-Gray's voice was gone.

"Well that was comforting," Gray grumbled, glancing over at Natsu. The pink-haired boy had taken his pistol from its holster and was holding it cautiously in both hands, glancing around them. Gray copied him and they began to move silently through the streets, ducking around corners and keeping their eyes out for Hollow's soldiers, but finding none.

"Alright, looks like this is the spot." Gray re-holstered his weapon and tugged the backpack off, reaching in and finding the grappling hook that Sting had "kludged together" – his words, not Gray's. "Keep an eye out."

"Um…Gray?" He heard the sound of Natsu dropping his weapon and turned around quickly to see a tall, dark-haired man holding a pistol to the back of his partner's head. Where the hell had he come from? The man had a similar hairstyle to Edo-Gray's and a visor was suspended over his left eye.

"Hollow said ya'd be here," the man drawled, kicking the back of Natsu's leg until he dropped to his knees. "An she en't ever wrong." A dark chuckle sounded from somewhere behind Gray and he turned just in time to see a woman materialize from a portal next to him, a large gun balanced on her shoulder.

"They's just a couple 'a blanks," she said derisively as lines of text flitted across her scanner. "We thought you was Uppers." She hefted the rifle and pointed it at Gray, who had been reaching for his earpiece. He put his hands up in surrender.

 _Shitfuck_ , he thought. _How the hell do we get out of this?_ His hands ached for his magic, wishing for nothing more than the familiar sensation of ice at his fingertips.

"Let's just config 'em and get out," the man growled, shoving his gun against the back of Natsu's head. Gray's chest ached at the terrified expression on his partner's face. "She dinnit say nothin' 'bout if they was blanks. Just off 'em and get the creds, yeah?"

"Look, we have creds, you can take them," Gray said desperately, trying to keep his voice steady. He lowered his hand to grab the bag on the ground but the woman growled, reaching out to snatch it from Gray's hand. He took the opportunity to headbutt her as hard as possible, then drive his knee in between her legs. Her accomplice raised his gun at Gray, but Natsu slammed his head backwards into the man's stomach, then turned and swept his legs out from under him. Natsu snatched up his pistol from where he had dropped it and pointed it at the man, stepping on his wrist to make him drop his own weapon.

 _"Drek!"_ The girl shouted, stumbling backward with blood pouring from her nose. Gray grabbed her wrist, twisting it until she dropped the gun. He snatched it up and pointed it at her, ignoring the fact that it was three times the size of his pistol and he had no idea how to use it.

"Back off!" He hissed, shuffling until he and Natsu were back to back. This felt more familiar – fighting side by side with Natsu. It was only the weapon in his hand that felt cumbersome and unwieldy.

"Resistance must be in needs to dreg up you two," the man snarled as he lifted himself up on his elbows. "Lookat you en't never held a weapon afore." He leered at Natsu and immediately shouted in pain as Natsu shot him in the knee. Gray could see Natsu's finger shaking on the trigger as he aimed the weapon at the man's other leg.

"You were saying?" His voice was hard and angry, hiding his terror with rage.

"Ooh, tough one," the woman taunted, spitting blood on the ground and drawing a dagger from a holster on her thigh. "Ya en't from here, yeah? Syndicate don't take _no_ for an answer."

"Don't," Gray warned as the woman started spinning the blade between her fingers. He lifted his stolen weapon higher and aimed it at her, hoping it worked the same as the pistol. She charged at him, snarling, and before he could think his finger squeezed the trigger and the blast hit her in the shoulder. She cried out, stumbling to her knees and giving him a glare before she suddenly started to spasm.

"What...the hell..." Natsu whispered as the man on the ground curled up and began to shake in a similar fashion.

"Oh my god," Gray said softly, dropping the blaster and putting a hand over his mouth. He could see small sparks of electricity arcing from the side of the woman's neck.

"Hey! What's going on over there?" Sting's voice came through the line, sharp and concerned, and Natsu reached up to tap his earpiece.

"We got…jumped, they're…it's…" He stammered, pistol still shaking in his hand. "H-hollow sent them, and we didn't…they're just…shaking…"

"She's flatlining them," Sting explained gently. "Overloading their biosoft tech. They frakked up and this is their punishment. Don't look, it gets messy."

Natsu reached over and grabbed Gray's hand, tugging him away from the convulsing woman. A puddle of urine was spreading out around her, and blood was trickling from her nose and ears. Foamy spittle bubbled at the corner of her mouth, and Gray stepped back in horror.

"Don't look," Natsu whispered, pulling him into an embrace and trying to guide his gaze away from the bleeding, shaking woman. "Don't look." Gray clung to him, burying his face in Natsu's shoulder.

"You two hurt?" Edo-Gray's voice was concerned but quiet - it sounded like he was hiding somewhere. "Were we flashed?"

"Yeah, but I've got Hollow's comms on lockdown for now," Sting replied. "She can't get through to Skavak, but I don't know how long I can hold her off. You two'd better call it – get in or get out." Natsu felt Gray tense against him.

"Give us five minutes," Gray growled, breaking away from Natsu's embrace. He snatched the bag up from the ground, pulled out the grappling hook and took a step back, tossing it onto the roof. It latched onto something with a _ping_ and Gray tugged a few times to tighten it up.

"Are you sure?" Edo-Gray asked cautiously.

"Be ready when we signal," Gray replied sharply, glancing over at Natsu, eyes carefully avoiding the dead bodies. "Let's go."

* * *

The roof was surrounded by razor wire – something that hadn't been indicated in the plans Sting had managed to dredge up – but Edo-Gray's overenthusiastic packing had provided them with wire cutters, so they'd managed to get through with minimal injuries.

"We're on the roof." Gray pressed on a scratch on his forearm, trying to stem the bleeding, as Natsu made his way over to the ventilation grate and began the arduous job of unscrewing the plating. Gray kept low to the ground, scanning for any more of Hollow's mercs. His pulse was pounding in his ears – what if someone came up there? What if they got caught? What if they got killed?

"Relax," Edo-Gray said, as if he were reading Gray's mind. "Sting's got eyes on you, there's no one coming. Just focus on your job."

"Got it." Natsu lifted the grate carefully from the vent and set it down on the roof, then gestured for Gray to turn so he could grab the backpack. He pulled out a vent mask – a thin, mesh piece of synthfab that covered his nose and mouth and filtered out unwanted chemicals – and a small container that rattled when he shook it. With the mask hanging loosely around his neck, he opened the container and stared at the two flat, white tablets inside. "You sure this stuff isn't going to kill me?"

"I haven't died yet," Edo-Gray muttered, managing to sound petulant through the comms. "It's fine, honestly, it's just Edge. Glitterkids take it at parties all the time. Rogue's done it with his clients before. It helps you focus, remember?"

The drugs had actually been Erza's idea. Natsu was able to get the interdimensional pocket open and closed now and had managed to get several large items into it, but still struggled with the concentration required to keep it open long enough for storing more than one thing. They'd tried the drug once as practice and he'd been unstoppable – packing half the room up into the pocket before forgetting to close it and having it all implode slightly in the safe house.

Gray wasn't a fan of Natsu taking the drugs, but he also wasn't a fan of this world in general. The drug wasn't addictive and it didn't have any harmful side effects other than exhaustion, so he supposed it wasn't any worse than Natsu randomly eating any fire he could find.

"Alright," Natsu sighed, tipping his head back and swallowing both pills dry. He made a face. "You ready for this?" The question was aimed at Gray, who had also pulled out a vent mask and hung it around his neck.

"Does it matter if I say no?" He grumbled, making sure his bag and weapons were securely attached before lowering himself into the shaft. It dropped six feet down, then turned into a square tunnel that led off in either direction. "You got the list?"

"All here," Natsu replied, dropping down next to him and tapping the screen on his wrist. "You're going left. Make sure you're out of there before it blows." He put a hand on Gray's cheek and gave him a half-smile.

"I've got a bad feeling about this," Gray muttered, tugging Natsu in for a quick kiss before heading off down the left shaft. It continued for some ways before making a sharp right turn, then it dropped down several feet. Gray continued until he found the grate detailed on his blueprints.

He peered through the bars and saw a line of workers – nearly fifty people, he guessed – assembling crates of different types of packages. They all wore loose white masks and gloves and handled the bags and containers carefully. Sting had told them that this was where Skavak – with the financial assistance of Hollow – made most of the drugs that were sold on the streets of Undertown.

In the corner of the room there were four large vats, each filled with a different color of liquid. _Sin_ , Gray thought, glancing at the far red one. _Flash, Dreamscape, Edge._ Two were explosive, and one was a potent hallucinogen. The last one was what Edo-Gray had been on when they'd eaten together in the square.

Nobody was looking at the grate – a quick peek around the room showed Gray that everyone was absorbed in their work – so he tugged the screwdriver out of his bag and began to loosen the bolts. Fuck, he hoped Natsu was doing okay. His hands slipped a few times, slick with sweat, but he managed to loosen the grate just enough that he could slide through it, pushing it back into place once he dropped down onto the crates below. He immediately jumped to the floor and took several deep breaths.

Fragments of conversations floated through the air, half in the Underspeak language that Gray was slowly coming to understand. Sting, Rogue and Edo-Gray spoke it to each other, and bits and pieces of the language peppered their talk with others as well. _Drogoj_ he recognized as the word for 'drugs', as well as the word _estro_ – boss. A spike of fear ran up through Gray's chest. Skavak was here. Edo-Gray hadn't been certain if he would show but had flashed around a lot of creds to try and goad him into coming.

Taking a deep breath, Gray darted from the crates to a stack of unused equipment, keeping low to the ground. Luckily everyone was too absorbed in their work to notice him dashing across the room bit by bit until he arrived just behind the largest vat. He leaned against it heavily, catching his breath, then dug into the backpack and pulled out four spellcubes. Two were fireballs, and the other two would apparently turn the liquids into a potent gas.

"I'm in place," he whispered.

"Gray! My friend!" Gray jumped, heart leaping into his chest, until he realized that the voice was coming from Edo-Gray's comm link on the other side of the building. He kept his hand on his chest and tried to quiet his breathing as he listened to their conversation. Skavak's voice was muffled, but loud enough that everyone on the comms could understand him.

"Frag off, Skavak," Edo-Gray snarled, and Gray could picture him, arrogant and sneering with his arms crossed over his chest. He wondered if _he_ ever looked like that. He had such mixed feelings about his counterpart here. "You got what I ordered?"

"I do, my dear friend," Skavak crooned. "An unusually large shipment of weapons, no? And a rather…potent order of Sin? For a special occasion, perhaps?"

"That's a private purchase," Edo-Gray growled. "And I wanna see that you're not cutting it with anything, you _kusanta bastardo_." The weapons dealer laughed – a truly unpleasant sound.

"Follow me, then." Skavak's voice was clearer now. Perfect – that was Gray's cue. They should be headed down the hallway now.

Gray hopped up onto the iron staircase that led to the first vat, pressing his thumb down to activate the red spellcube and tossing it into the liquid. Rogue had said that the cubes were programmed to delay the spell by two minutes, and Gray hoped he was right, otherwise he was very quickly going to be very, very dead.

"Natsu, how's it going over there?" He whispered, dropping a silver cube in each of the middle vats and another red one in the last. There was no answer and he cursed, hoping that Natsu was just concentrating. Gray dropped back down to the floor and dashed along the wall. "Two minutes," he murmured into the comm, scrambling up onto a stack of boxes near the grate just as the door began to roll open.

He hauled himself up quickly, pulling the grate tightly behind him and hoping to hell that it didn't make too much noise. He lay in the ventilation shaft for a minute, breathing heavily and peering over to the door. Skavak stood there, dressed all in black with half his face tattooed, talking to Edo-Gray and gesturing across the room. A group of ten armed guards stood around them.

"Just in time," Sting's voice came through the line, tense and angry. "Hollow just bypassed all my guards, she's getting through to Skavak now. Those cubes better be good or we're hooped." Gray felt his fingers tingling. Is this what living here was always like for the others? Constant fear and worry, every single day? Gods, he hated this place.

"Skavak looks pissed," Gray said cautiously, seeing the tattooed man raise a hand to his own comm and then snarl in anger. He suddenly backhanded Edo-Gray and drew his pistol, pressing it against the dark-haired man's forehead and shoving him down to his knees. "Fuck, Gray's in trouble."

"Don't move," Sting said roughly. "He can handle it. Get your mask on." Gray quickly pulled the vent mask over his face, making sure it sealed around his mouth and nose.

 _"Mensoganto."_ Skavak's growl could be heard through Edo-Gray's comm and Gray's chest clenched as he saw the guards all take out their weapons as well. "Search the building. Find the othe-"

And then the vats exploded. Gray clapped his hands over his ears as the sound blew through the warehouse, shaking the shaft around him and knocking the grate down to the floor. Muffled shouting came through the comm, then gunfire, then nothing. Gray raised his head cautiously.

"You think you're untouchable." Edo-Gray's voice came through, clear and calm, and Gray could see him as the dust cleared, positions reversed – him on his feet with his gun between Skavak's eyes. He was bleeding from his forehead and swaying unsteadily. "You're dirt. _Vi meritas pli malbona ol morto._ But it'll have to do." His face didn't change as he pulled the trigger and Skavak's head snapped backward, then his body slumped over into a pool of rapidly spreading blood.

Edo-Gray quickly pulled his vent mask out from under his shirt and tucked it over his face, then glanced over at the shaft where Gray was hiding, eyes wide.

"Get to Natsu," Edo-Gray insisted as he turned and shot one of Skavak's goons in the chest. "You don't need to see this. Get out of here." The mist from the central two vats was spreading over the ground and Gray could see the workers and mercenaries staring at each other strangely, then swiping at things in the air that only they could see. Several of them had fallen to the floor, succumbing to the effects of the narcotic.

Gray didn't need to be told twice. He scurried through the ventilation shaft, heading back the way he'd come and then following Natsu's trail. After a minute he found himself looking into a large room, similar to the one he'd been in, but this one was stacked with hundreds of crates. He tugged the mask off – the fumes from the vats wouldn't make it this far.

"Natsu," he hissed into the comm, looking around for any clue that would show him where his partner was. "Where are you?" There was no response and panic sparked in his chest. "Sting, do you have eyes on him?"

"Negative," Sting replied, typing something into his deck back at the safe house. "He dropped down into the southwest corner but I haven't seen him move since the explosion. Two guards in this room, others are outside but I've put the place on lockdown. You need to bug out ASAP; Hollow's thugs are already on their way."

"Got it," Gray replied, peering around and seeing both guards up near the door. The vent was loose from where Natsu had unscrewed it, so Gray wriggled it out and slid down into the room. As soon as he hit the floor he saw Nastu – or rather, he saw a pair of feet sticking out from under a work bench not far away. "Natsu!" He kept his voice quiet and darted over to his partner.

Natsu wasn't unconscious, but he wasn't really awake either. His face was streaked with blood that dripped from his nose, mouth and ears, and his pupils were tiny pinpricks under his rapidly fluttering eyelids.

"Fuck," Gray swore, wiping the blood from Natsu's cheeks and tugging him into a sitting position. "Natsu, wake up." His only response was a pained groan as Natsu dropped his head against Gray's chest. Gray pressed a kiss to his hair, holding him tightly. His breathing was shallow and erratic, and Gray prayed it looked worse than it was.

"Is he okay?" Edo-Gray's voice was breathless and he started to cough. The sounds of gunfire in the background had faded. "I'm coming to you. They're hexed out of their minds now, everyone out here's a zombie." He coughed again, taking in a wheezing breath. "Sting, lemme in."

"I can't," Sting growled, frustration evident in his voice. "They've got it closed manually and I can't override it. Can you go back through the vent?"

"Frak," Edo-Gray cursed, panting heavily. There was a pause, then a shout of pain and the sound of more gunfire. Gray hugged Natsu tighter to him, heart pounding.

"Gray!" Sting's voice was frantic. "Are you okay? I can't access the vids down there, what's happening?"

"H-Hollow...nnngghh...s-says hi..." Edo-Gray ground out, voice tight with pain. "Bitch...got here f-faster...than I th-thought." More gunfire was audible now, not only through the comms but just outside the room. Gray could see the two guards speaking to each other and shaking their heads. If he could take them out...

"You're gonna have to go around, _maitea_ ," Sting said regretfully. "Are you okay?"

"F-fine," Edo-Gray groaned, but it was obvious that he was lying. "Th-there's..." He broke off, coughing wetly. "Th-there's...no time. I, uh, I kinda got sh-shot. C-can't get through the vents..." He coughed again and groaned in pain. "You have to g-go without me."

Gray looked down at the gun in his hand and back up at the two guards. He swallowed, feeling the frustration and terror and pain and anger melt into a sensation of collected calm. If he didn't do this, Edo-Gray would die.

"Don't say _drek_ like that," Sting growled angrily, tapping furiously on his keyboard. "I'll break through this ice, just gime ti-"

"D-don't have t-time," Edo-Gray said, voice uncharacteristically gentle. "Sting, _mi povas savi ilin."_

"No!" Sting shouted. Gray tried to keep up with the rapid Underspeak, but it flew over his head. _"Ni unufoje funebras vin. Ne denove."_ There was another ragged groan from Edo-Gray and a wet-sounding cough. The knowledge that they weren't asking Gray to kill the guards because they knew he didn't want to made him feel heavy with guilt.

"Gray. T-take Natsu, g-grab a bike and...go. I'll...meet up...nggnnn...with you." Gray could hear his counterpart stumbling to his feet and firing a few shots from his pistol. He was going to die covering their escape. Gray couldn't let that happen. It was Edo-Gray or the guards. "Sting, _mi amas vin. Ciam. Diru al Natsu, mi bedau-"_

"Tell him yourself," Gray growled, making his decision. He set Natsu gently on the ground, then stood slowly and aimed his weapon at the nearest guard, steadying the weapon with both hands. He hesitated for only a second before pulling the trigger and hitting the man in the back of the head. The second guard took two shots before he was on the floor, in a puddle of his own blood. Gray retched a few times, breathing heavily. "Guards are taken care of. Open the door, I'll cover him."

 _Fuck_ , he'd just killed people. Killed them, ended their life, and they weren't coming back. He tried to push it to the back of his mind as he steadied his weapon again, but the feel of the gun recoiling in his hands wouldn't go away.

"Did you..." Sting sounded surprised. "You...yeah. Okay, door's opening...now." The door slid open suddenly and Edo-Gray stumbled through it backward, one hand clutching a wound in his side, other firing his pistol into a group of people steadily bearing down on him.

"I'm in...nggnn...close it!" He shouted, stepping to the side and hiding behind the wall. The door slid shut with a _click_ , just in time to block another round of gunfire.

"Over here!" Gray stood and waved, then dropped to his knees and starting searching through the pack for the medkit. Edo-Gray stumbled over to him, dropping to the ground and holding his stomach while blood bubbled between his fingers.

"Is he...okay?" He asked, looking over at Natsu. The pink-haired boy was lying on the ground curled up on his side, eyes half-closed and chest shaking with gasping breaths. Gray ran a gentle hand through his hair, wiping away the sticky blood that had dripped into it from his ears. Natsu coughed a few times and flecks of blood dotted the metal.

"I don't know," Gray whispered, looking back at the medkit. "Is there an...an antidote, or something? For the drug?"

"This isn't...ahhh...the drug," Edo-Gray replied, wincing and tipping Natsu's face up to gaze into his eyes. "This is from the p-portal." Gray realized with a start that Edo-Gray was willingly touching Natsu. He'd become slightly more accustomed to them over the course of their time in Edolas, but as far as Gray could tell, he still only let Rogue and Sting touch him. "He sh-should be okay, but...ngghnn...we'd better get b-back quick."

"Then let's get you fixed up and get out of here. Take your shirt off," Gray said, opening the medkit and finding the tube of Fix. "Did you get hit anywhere else?"

Edo-Gray didn't respond, just stared up at him dumbly with an uncomfortable expression on his face. Blood bubbled between his fingers and dripped down onto the floor.

"I'll...I can d-do it," he said shakily, reaching for the tube and pressing himself back against the wall. "D-don't touch m-me." Gray sighed. He wanted to be sympathetic but Natsu was hurt, and they needed to get through here before Hollow's mercs broke through the door.

"I'm sorry," he said to Edo-Gray, rubbing disinfectant on his hands and pulling a bandage from the kid. "We don't have time. Just...think of it like...I'm you. It's just you, bandaging yourself up. Right?"

Edo-Gray's face twisted in confusion and discomfort, and he leaned his head back against the wall and groaned in pain.

 _"Le ne vundos vin,"_ Sting said gently, and Edo-Gray sighed. _"Ne ciuj tusoj doloras, memoru?"_

 _"Mi scias,"_ Edo-Gray growled, tugging his shirt up to expose the wound. It was ragged and sluggishly pumping our blood, and Edo-Gray ground his teeth at the sensation of Gray spraying the Fix on it. _"Sankta so_ , that hurts," he swore as Gray applied a large bandage to the wound, pressing it tightly around the bloody skin. He leaned forward to let Gray repeat the process with the exit wound, flinching each time Gray's fingers came in contact with his skin.

"Almost done," Gray said apologetically. "Anywhere else?"

"Nothing that can't wait until later," Edo-Gray replied softly, face dark with embarrassment. Gray sat back on his heels, washing his hands with the disinfectant again, then passed Edo-Gray a painkilling dermal patch that he gratefully applied to the side of his neck. "Th-thank you."

 _"N-ne dankid."_ Gray stumbled over the unfamiliar words and was surprised to hear Edo-Gray laugh.

 _"Ne dankinde,"_ he corrected gently. "Not bad. You've been listening to us?" It was Gray's turn to flush, ears burning in embarrassment as Edo-Gray stumbled to his feet.

"A little," Gray admitted, standing as well. "Enough to know that we need to... _ni...estas s-sraubitaj?"_ Edo-Gray chuckled, leaning heavily against the table.

"We aren't screwed," Edo-Gray argued. Gray nodded, pointing over at a hoverbike sitting in the corner of the warehouse.

"You can drive that, right?" Edo-Gray nodded, swallowing uncomfortable. "Will we all fit on there?"

"...yes." Edo-Gray looked at the bike and then back at Natsu, and Gray suddenly realized that if they took the bike, both him and Natsu would have to be touching Edo-Gray for a long period of time. "I, uh...yeah. Let's..." He exhaled, and Gray could see his hands trembling. "H-he'll...the middle..." He swallowed, and Gray was shocked to see tears in his eyes. He wasn't certain why it had taken him this long to realize that the touch thing wasn't a preference – it was because Edo-Gray was terrified.

 _"Vi estos bone, karulino."_ Sting's voice was gentle and Gray jumped – he had forgotten about him entirely. _"Ili ne vundos vin._ But you need to hurry, they're gonna get through the door soon."

 _"Mi scias,"_ Edo-Gray growled, leaning down to help Gray lift Natsu up between them. The tension in his body was obvious, but if Hollow's mercs were breaking through the door, then they needed out – _now_. They made their way to the bike and Edo-Gray swung his leg over it, tapping the keypad and starting it up. Gray lifted Natsu up gently, shushing his quiet protests, until he was leaning against Edo-Gray's back, face pressed against his neck.

"You okay?" Gray asked cautiously.

"No," Edo-Gray whispered, voice painfully tense. "Get on."

 _"Vi povas fari ci ton,"_ Sting murmured and Edo-Gray exhaled shakily. _"Mi amas vin._ Be careful."

"I will," Edo-Gray replied, then turned back to Gray, grabbing his hand and placing it on his waist. He flinched at the touch but didn't shy away completely. The door to the back of the warehouse started to rise and Edo-Gray steered towards it, out into the night. "Don't let go," he warned Gray, revving the bike's engine. "This is gonna be bumpy."

* * *

"Don't be such a baby," Rogue admonished, holding a needle and thread carefully in his hand. Edo-Gray was leaning back on the table, crying out in pain as Rogue stitched up his wound. "You've had worse than this before."

"Frak...you..." Edo-Gray ground out, and Rogue just laughed, giving him a fond look. Gray felt slightly queasy seeing the needle slide in and out of the skin, but he found he couldn't look away.

Natsu lay sleeping next to him, eyes closed peacefully and breathing even. They had ditched the bike partway back and carried Natsu the rest of the way to Rogue and Sting's stack, Edo-Gray collapsing as soon as they crossed through the door. The Fix hadn't been enough to close the stomach wound entirely, hence the stitches.

"Now actually _rest_ , and don't do anything stupid," Rogue said softly, cutting the thread and tucking his instruments away. He stood and kissed Edo-Gray's forehead, then turned to Gray. "Thanks for saving him. He's an idiot sometimes."

"I d-didn't do an-"

"You did," Rogue interrupted, placing a hand on Gray's shoulder. "And I can't imagine how difficult it was for you." His voice was soft and kind and it made Gray want to cry. "Thank you."

Gray didn't respond, just kept his gaze on the ground and brushed his fingers through Natsu's hair, trying not to think about shooting those men. Rogue left the bedroom and an awkward silence descended over him and Edo-Gray.

"Do you...want to learn Underspeak?" He looked up at Edo-Gray, who was now sitting cross-legged and looking almost...shy. "You just...you seemed interested." Gray nodded.

"I used to..." He hesitated. "I lived somewhere else before I came to Fairy Tail. Isvan. I dunno if that's true for you too." Edo-Gray shook his head. "I spoke the language with my parents. I don't have anyone to speak it with anymore, so I've just...I've forgotten most of it."

Edo-Gray was silent for a moment, then pointed at himself, then at Gray.

 _"Amikoj,"_ he said. "Well, maybe _fratoj_ would be more appropriate for you and me, it means brothers. But _amikoj_ means...friends." He looked down at his lap, playing nervously with the chain around his neck. "I know you...well, I can imagine what you think of me. I wish I could be more like you."

Gray made a sound of protest, but Edo-Gray shook his head.

"I'm just...I'm dealing with what I've got. And I need..." He swallowed thickly, and Gray was surprised to see tears forming in his eyes. "I need you to know that I love him just as much as you do. What I've got with...with Sting and Rogue...that doesn't change how I feel about Natsu. He's my... _amanto_. And I know I've done...I mean, with the fighting, and the 'pharms...but I love him." He made eye contact with Gray again, very briefly.

"I...I know," Gray said after a moment. He did know, he'd known it all along, it was just so easy to judge when this wasn't his world. "I'm sorry...about what happened to you."

"Me too," Edo-Gray said softly. "Do...do you really think he'll forgive me?"

Gray looked down at Natsu's sleeping form, face soft and hand curled gently around his fingers. He thought of their tender kisses, their home, their fights and their forgiveness. Mostly he thought of Natsu's smile – the warmth and kindness that he exuded.

"I think so," he said eventually. "If he's like mine. He might...it might take time. And explaining and negotiating and working to build yourselves back together." Edo-Gray nodded sadly, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. "But he loves you, too. And I think he'd do anything for you."

"Even if...even if he doesn't want me anymore..." Edo-Gray's voice broke and he sniffed, sliding his ring on and off his finger. "Even if it can't go back...I just want to see him again. That'll...that'll be enough for me." He exhaled shakily. "And we'll get you h-home. I promise. I just want...I want to do something right."

* * *

"You ready for this?" Natsu stood in the alley outside Rogue and Sting's stack, leaning aginst the wall and holding Gray's hands in his. Gray sighed. It had been two days and Natsu was finally back to normal, and the wound in Edo-Gray's stomach had mostly healed. Erza had called for the plan to be put in action today, and they were getting everything ready to head to the ship hidden on the far end of Undertown.

"I'm ready to go home," Gray said. "There's just...so many things that could go wrong." Natsu nodded, rubbing the back of his neck absently. Ever since the portal in the warehouse he'd felt...off, somehow. Like something was buzzing in the back of his mind. But there was no other way to pull it off.

"We're gonna get home," he said softly, leaning over and kissing Gray's cheek. "Now go get the last of the med stuff from the clinic. I'll meet you back at the safehouse." Gray nodded hesitantly, squeezing Natsu's hand and then turning and walking down the alley.

Natsu took the last few blocks at a light jog, ducking into a false storefront and then up the set of stairs that led to the entrance to the hideout. The complicated pattern of tapping had become second nature to him over the past two months, and he only noticed that something was horribly wrong once he'd already stepped through the portal.

The hallway was full of smoke. Natsu immediately pulled his shirt up over his face, then drew his pistol, dropping into a defensive stance and moving slowly forward. He was at the end of the row of rooms leading to the main area, where he could hear shouting.

"Traitor!" Edo-Gray's voice was clear, followed by a dry, hacking cough. Natsu skirted his way up the wall quickly, peeking left and right for signs of anyone else. All the rooms were empty, and the common area was clearly the source of the smoke. "You would give us all up? For what?" More coughing, followed by a loud gunshot.

Natsu edged the door open, peering around the corner. Edo-Gray was backed up against one of the walls, pistol in one hand, other arm covering his face with his jacket. The corner of the room was on fire - pieces of tech and synth melting into strange shapes and producing a dark, acrid smoke. Three other people were present in the room. Natsu assumed that the one on the floor who was crying and holding his leg was the one that Edo-Gray had most recently shot.

"They're going to give me back my daughter!" Natsu recognized the second person – a tall, gray-haired man who had been vehemently against the plan from the beginning. _Kanan_. Standing next to him was...oh, no. A Magehunter. "She promised." The woman gave Edo-Gray a chilling smile.

"She _lied,"_ he hissed, arm trembling as he was wracked with another round of deep coughs. Natsu lifted his pistol, quietly training it on the Magehunter. His hand shook fiercely as he got her in his sights, breathing deeply like the simulation had shown him. He could do this. He could save Edo-Gray. It was the right thing to do.

"Behind you!" The man on the floor shouted out, and the Magehunter woman whipped around, snarling at Natsu. He squeezed the trigger but the shot went wide, hitting the wall instead. In an instant she was over to him, reaching out to grab his throat. He blocked the blow, shoving her backwards.

"Natsu, look out!" Edo-Gray's voice reached him just as the Magehunter hit him in the neck with something electric. Pain lanced through him and his entire body spasmed. He tried to scream, but his jaw was clenched so tightly that the blood from biting his tongue was trapped in his mouth.

"Surrender your weapon." The Magehunter grabbed Natsu and pulled him forward, plucking the gun from his limp hand and handing it to Kanan, who looked terrified. Natsu felt the tension from the shock leaving his body, and he gasped as the pain receded and blood began to trickle down his chin. The Magehunter wrapped an arm around his neck, keeping a wicked-looking dagger resting on his throat.

 _"Frak you,"_ Edo-Gray hissed, coughing into his sleeve. The Magehunter lifted whatever she had used to electrocute Natsu back up to his neck, and Edo-Gray swore, raising his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. Just...don't hurt him." Natsu tried to shake his head, but Edo-Gray dropped the pistol on the floor, kicking it across the room until it ended up at the Magehunter's feet.

"On your knees," the Magehunter commanded. Edo-Gray's face was a tumultuous mix of fear, hatred and indecision, but after a moment he obeyed, sinking to the ground with both hands behind his head. "Kanan, cuff him." Edo-Gray snarled at Kanan but didn't move to attack him as the gray-haired man moved forward with the cuffs in hand.

"You already Purged me," he growled, glaring up at the Magehunter. "What more do you want?" The smoke was getting thicker now, and Natsu felt it stinging his eyes and burning his throat. He resisted the urge to cough, eyeing the blade at his throat. He was starting to slowly regain feeling in his limbs – could he grab the electrocuting device and turn it on her? It was incredibly powerful and had hurt worse than any attack Laxus had ever thrown at him back home.

"I don't care about _you,"_ the Magehunter replied, tightening her grip on Natsu and pressing down slightly with the dagger. He winced as it pierced his skin and he felt tiny beads of blood begin to run down his neck. "I want _them."_ She gestured to Natsu. "A whole other world _filled_ with magic, just waiting to be consumed? Kanan has brought me a precious gift."

 _No._ Natsu's heart skipped a beat and his breath stuck in his throat. _No, they can't know about home._ He saw the same look of terror flash across Edo-Gray's face as the cuffs were placed on his wrists.

"I bet...Joekel was thrilled to hear that," Edo-Gray said, voice strangely calm. He was testing the waters, Natsu realized – checking if anybody else knew about this discovery.

"He _will_ be thrilled when _I_ bring him the Otherworlders," the Magehunter replied, obviously proud of herself. Natsu exhaled in relief. "This is a glory I will share with none other."

The smoke was becoming unbearable, and Natsu couldn't stop himself from coughing, crying out as the knife slid deeper into his skin. The Magehunter sneered down at him and pressed the device into his neck again, sending white-hot pain racing through his body.

"STOP!" Edo-Gray shouted, struggling against the cuffs and attempting to stand. "I surrendered! Let him go!" Natsu whimpered as tears began to stream down his cheeks. "Please," Edo-Gray begged. Natsu's vision was starting to blur, and he felt his knees weaken.

There was a sudden blast next to his head, and the Magehunter stumbled, loosening her grip on him. Natsu reached out and grabbed the table for balance as the woman took one more step forward, then pitched face-first onto the ground, a puddle of blood growing under her head. Another blast pierced the air, ending up in Kanan's shoulder, who screeched in pain and grabbed the wounded limb.

Natsu blinked in confusion and turned to see _his_ Gray, panting and pale-faced with a piece of his torn shirt tied over his nose and mouth. He was bare-chested under his leather jacket and his gun was out, braced in both trembling hands. Gray took several shaky breaths, then looked up and made eye contact with Natsu.

"Are you okay?" He dashed over, shoving the pistol back into its holster and reaching up to touch Natsu's chin. His hand came away sticky with blood, but Natsu put his hands up in reassurance.

"I'm...okay, I think." He turned to Edo-Gray, who was still kneeling with his hands cuffed behind his head. "Code..." Natsu swallowed. "Uh, Kanan. Guy. For the cuffs." He took several shaky breaths and brought his hand up to the slightly burned spot on his neck.

Gray helped Natsu tie a rag similar to his own over his face, then left him leaning against the table and stalked over to Kanan. He grabbed Kanan's wounded shoulder and squeezed.

"Code," he demanded as Kanan cried out in pain. The man didn't answer for a moment, and Gray reached down for his pistol again. Natsu made a move to stop him, but it ended up being unnecessary. Kanan raised his hands in surrender, tears running down his face.

"Twenty-six, eight, four, four, thirty-nine," he sobbed, falling back onto the floor. Gray gave him a dirty look, then moved over to Edo-Gray and tapped the code into the cuffs. They unlocked with a click and fell to the ground.

"You okay?" Gray helped his counterpart to his feet, and they stared at each other for a second.

"Will be," Edo-Gray replied eventually, taking the proffered piece of fabric from Gray and tying it around his mouth and nose. He stalked over and picked up his weapon, then disarmed the sobbing Kanan and handed the pistol back to Natsu. "Nice shooting." Gray didn't respond. "Want me to search her?" Edo-Gray's voice was surprisingly gentle, and he didn't wait for a response before rolling the dead Magehunter onto her back and going through her pockets.

"We have to...we need to go," Natsu said, tugging the rag away from his face to spit out blood and wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. "Rogue...Sting...are they okay?"

"They're supposed to meet us at the ship," Edo-Gray replied, pocketing a few items from the Magehunter. Then he used her dagger to slice open the area where her SINchip was located. Natsu's stomach heaved and he leaned on the desk, trying desperately not to vomit.

 _Gray just killed someone,_ he thought desperately, hands shaking. _He killed someone and he did it for me and I would be dead if he hadn't. This is what they meant. God, this is what they meant and it still hurts and I'm going to-_

He couldn't help himself, leaning over the table and throwing up. He could feel Gray's hand on his back and he shuddered, heaving again until all the coffee and nutrisoy he'd eaten that day were in a puddle on the floor.

"Do you have everything you need from here?" Edo-Gray's expression was difficult to read under the rag, but his voice was gentler than they were used to. "We've gotta torch this place and bug out. Joekel _cannot_ find you."

"What about him?" Gray asked, gesturing at Kanan with his pistol. Kanan looked terrified, scrambling backwards against the wall.

"Please don't kill me," he begged, putting his hands in front of his face. "She promised me my daughter, she said..."

Natsu looked at Edo-Gray, expecting him to draw his weapon, but instead he looked at the man with a mixture of anger and pity.

"I broke for them too," he murmured eventually, reaching a hand out to pull the man to his feet. "You'll come with us so we know you can't betray us again, but I'm not gonna dust you for wanting back what you lost."

"Th-thank you," Kanan stuttered, coughing miserably and covering his face with his sleeve.

"We'll have to go through the side door," Edo-Gray said, moving down the hallway and into one of the bedrooms. "Do you have everything? Armor, weapons?" He looked at Natsu, who nodded weakly, still feeling bile in the back of his throat. "Guns out," Edo-Gray ordered, tossing a spare pistol to Kanan. "We don't know if they're after us." He tapped on the wall and waited for the portal to materialize. Then he looked back at the group grimly and nodded. "Let's go."

* * *

 **Underspeak (Edolas) Translations  
** _kusanta bastardo =_ lying bastard  
 _mensoganto_ = liar  
 _Vi meritas pli malbona ol morto_ = You deserve worse than death  
 _maitea =_ sweetheart  
 _mi povas savi ilin =_ I can save them  
 _Ni unufoje funebras vin. Ne denove._ = We mourned you before. Never again.  
 _Mi amas vin. Ciam. Diru al Natsu, mi bedau-_ = I love you. Always. Tell Natsu I'm sorr-  
 _Le ne vundos vin_ = He's not going to hurt you  
 _Ne ciuj tusoj doloras, memoru?_ = Not all touch hurts, remember?  
 _Mi scias_ = I know  
 _Sankta so_ = holy hell  
 _Vi estos bone, karulino_ = You'll be fine, sweetheart  
 _Ili ne vundos vin =_ They won't hurt you  
 _Vi povas fara ci ton =_ You can do this  
 _Mi amas vin_ = I love you  
 _amanto =_ lover


	10. Chapter 10

They weren't being followed. Gray sighed with relief as they ducked through the streets, weapons drawn, curious eyes following them. Nobody was hostile, though – no shots were fired. Maybe the Magehunter had been telling the truth after all. Maybe she was the only one who knew. Gray prayed that was true, because if Joekel and Faust found out about Otherworld…

"This way," he hissed, ducking into a narrow alley between two buildings and shimmying through it. The back opened into a sprawling area of dead undergrowth, stunted trees, and garbage. They picked their way through it, careful to avoid the larger brambles that grew spikes long enough to slice through their clothes.

"Is that the ship?" Other-Natsu whispered, pointing to a slight shimmer in the air ahead of them. A breeze was blowing through, smelling strongly of the ocean.

"Good eye," Gray said, gesturing for them to move ahead of him toward the invisibility field. "Hop on, quick. We don't want anyone following us." He turned and scanned behind them one more time before following everyone onto the small craft.

"Ready?" Erza gave Gray a look of concern and he nodded at her sharply, moving to the back of the craft. He tucked his weapon into his leg holster, then settled into a seat near Sting and Rogue. He hadn't been in this ship since she'd rescued him from Imperium, and he'd been convinced it was a hallucination at the time.

The craft took off slowly, moving through the crevasse that eventually opened up over the ocean. Gray swallowed heavily, keeping his eyes closed as the tiny ship rocked back and forth, battered by the wind.

"We've got a bit of a storm to contend with," Erza shouted as other-Gray and Natsu stumbled into seats near the front of the ship. "Everybody sit down, it could get bumpy. We'll be there in a about fifteen minutes, so get ready to jump."

Jump. Right. That was what they were here for. Gray stood again, stripping off his shirt, jacket and pants and leaving only a thin undersuit designed to keep out the water and cold.

 _"Cu vi estas bone?"_ Sting asked, reaching out and touching Gray's elbow gently. Gray jumped at the touch, then sighed, relaxing and sitting down next to the blond man. _"Fermi la okulojn."_ Gray shook his head, accepting Rogue's hand when it snuck into his.

"I'll be fine," he said, voice still hoarse from the smoke. "But they found the hideout."

"What?" Rogue's eyes widened and he sat up, alarmed.

"This _perfidulo_ betrayed us," Gray growled, looking up at Kanan, who was sitting in the farthest seat in the back, head in his hands. "Brought a Magehunter to us. Tried to let her take Nat- other Natsu. And other-me."

"You whoreson," Sting growled, making to stand, but Gray shook his head and nudged him back into his seat.

"They've got his daughter. I folded too, when it was Lyon's life at stake." Sting sighed, leaning his head against Gray's. "Frak, I'm just so tired of fighting. Tired of killing, tired of being afraid." Gray rubbed his face, then squeezed Rogue's hand. "This ends today."

* * *

"This is as close as I can get you," Erza said, glancing at the dash of the ship. The invisibility field outside flickered dangerously. "Everyone ready?"

Gray glanced back at the group – everyone was dressed in their thin undersuits – the rest of their gear was packed safely in the interdimensional pocket.

"Alright, everyone remember the plan?" He asked, steadying himself against the back of Erza's chair. The storm outside was worsening and the little ship was being battered by the angry winds. "If we get separated, we rendezvous at the north end of the shipyards. Stay out of sight, don't start anything." Here he looked directly at other-Natsu, who had the audacity to wink at him. He sighed. "Alright, let's go."

Erza gave him one last glance, looking like she wanted to grab his hand but refraining from doing so. Instead, she flipped the switch to open the door.

The wind immediately filled the ship, slamming into them and rocking it back and forth violently. Sting and Rogue slid towards the door, glancing back at Gray before both leaping into the ocean. Other-Natsu swallowed heavily, peering over the edge.

"See you there," he whispered, turning and hugging other-Gray tightly. Gray looked away, trying desperately to tamp down the jealously simmering in his chest. He jumped when he felt a soft brush against the back of his hand. "Good luck," Other-Natsu said, almost shyly. Gray hesitated, then squeezed the pink-haired boy's fingers.

"Go," he said roughly. Other-Natsu gave him a soft smile, then turned and leaped out the door.

"Ready?" Edo-Gray asked, turning to him and giving him an uncertain look. Gray nodded, stepping towards the entrance and glancing down at the roiling ocean.

 _Water over his head, bubbles escaping his lips before he could bring them back, thick hands around his neck holding him under, under, under. The world was muffled and he thrashed against the tight grip, feeling cold panic overtake him as water began to seep into his nose and mouth. He couldn't breathe. Oh gods, he couldn't breathe and he was going to-_

"Hey! What's wrong?" A hand on his arm. He jerked away from the touch like it burned. The ship shook violently again and he staggered, grabbing the wall.

 _He was free. The water was freezing and his hands were shaking and his heart was pounding so hard he thought he might die, but he was in the water and swimming away. Away from the pain and torture and-_

 _The ocean slammed into him, heavy and angry, and he gasped against the salty water filling his mouth. Another wave crashed into him, dragging him under and pulling at his limbs, and for a moment he considered letting go, letting it take him._

"Gray!" A hand on his arm again and he shoved against whoever it was, hand going to his leg where his gun was holstered.

"Don't touch me," he gasped, shaking his head. "This isn't real."

 _His arms windmilled, trying to pull him above the surface but the waves were too strong and the storm raged overhead. When he finally surfaced the rain pounded around him, wind whipping the water into his face. Another wave surged over him, and another, and his arms grew weaker and weaker. Salt water filled his mouth and nose and he choked, trying to catch a breath but being pulled under over and over again._

 _He woke, later, in his cell, Revik standing over him and grinning._

 _"Now we know how far prisoners can get."_

"Gray, snap out of it!" No touch this time, just his own angry voice and when he blinked and looked over, his younger self was staring at him with a mixture of frustration and concern. "We're going to lose them, we have to jump now. Let's go!"

 _Waves, and waves, and waves, and he couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe._

"I c-can't," he stuttered, hand coming to his throat. Other-Gray growled in frustration, then gave him a hard stare.

"Jump," he commanded. His voice was hard, like sharp pieces of broken glass. "Natsu's waiting for us. Yours and mine. We have to jump, now." Gray stepped forward hesitantly, staring down again at the waves.

"I can't hold us here any longer!" Erza shouted. Gray started when he felt a hand grab his and looked over at his other self.

"C'mon. Together." He tugged at Gray, pulling him further forward. The wind whipped his hair into his eyes and he could already feel the sting of the salt water on his cheeks. "Jump. Now."

Part of him knew that other-Gray wasn't actually ordering him, and that he didn't have to listen, but enough of him was conditioned to that tone of voice that he squeezed his eyes shut, squeezed other-Gray's hand, and jumped.

The water was freezing. Even through the suit he could feel the cold seeping in and he shouted at the sensation, moving his arms frantically to push himself over an oncoming wave. Frak, which way was Imperium? He looked around, seeing other-Gray's head bobbing in the water nearby.

"C'mon!" Other-Gray shouted. A wave swelled up behind Gray and he ducked under it, coming out on the other side. He spit out a mouthful of water and then turned to follow the other man, bringing his arms around in powerful strokes. He could do this. This was real. They were going to make things right.

* * *

"Gray?" He was huddled against the wall, knees pulled up to his chest, glaring angrily at the waves that had pushed him to shore. This was the shipyards, but he had no idea which way to go. Everything was scattered in his mind – it wasn't real. Was it? Or was this just another trick?

"I don't know," he whispered, staring up at other-Gray and shivering. "I can't…are you? Please, I can't, I can't go back. _Nei lasu min reiri."_

"Shhh," other-Gray said quietly. _"Ci tio estas reala_ , you're not going back. I promise." He reached out a hand and let it hover in front of Gray, waiting for him to take it. "We have to go meet up with the others. Are you hurt? Can you stand?"

"Y-yes," Gray stuttered, hesitantly accepting his counterpart's hand and letting other-Gray pull him to his feet. He wiped the tears and water from his face, then ran a hand through his hair. "I'm…okay. I'm okay. _Drek_ , I'm sorry."

"It's okay," other-Gray replied, not letting go of his hand. "But we're behind everyone. We need to catch up to get Sting to the relays. Do you know where we are?"

Gray looked up, taking stock of the buildings around him. His only time on Imperium had been in the Acropolis, but he had studied the holographs enough that this was vaguely familiar. He pointed in the direction that he hoped was north.

"That way."

They walked for nearly half an hour, dodging out of sight of several dock workers and hiding behind shipping crates and other debris. Eventually Gray caught sight of pink hair – the water had washed away the dye. They darted over to the group, crouching down with them behind a stack of boxes.

"Gray!" Rogue whispered, grabbing his hand and pulling him into a tight embrace. "Drek, we were so worried. Are you alright?" Rogue ran his hands over Gray's face, eyebrows furrowed in concern. Sting placed a hand on his lower back.

"I'm fine – we're fine," Gray said, shivering and turning to other-Natsu. "You ready?"

Other-Natsu swallowed, leaning against his own Gray who wrapped an arm around him and pressed a kiss to his temple.

"You can do this," he whispered, and Gray echoed the sentiment. Natsu nodded, taking a deep breath and sitting cross-legged. He closed his eyes, reaching his hand out into the air in front of him.

At first, nothing happened. After a minute the air began to shimmer and Gray could see a small crack appearing next to other-Natsu's outstretched hand. He watched curiously as the opening widened slightly, shimmering in the air. Gray glanced around quickly to make sure nobody was approaching, and when he glanced back at other-Natsu, blood was streaming from the pink-haired boy's nose.

"You've got this," other-Gray was whispering, hand on the small of his partner's back. Other-Natsu grunted, hand trembling as he tugged out the first small bag.

The next fifteen minutes were agonizing. Sting, Rogue and Gray took turns patrolling the perimeter of the small area, knowing that if they were spotted they'd be helpless to defend themselves. Other-Gray remained with Natsu, cradling him as he grew weaker and weaker and his face slowly lost color. Blood trickled from his ears, nose, and mouth, and the gasping sounds he made were heartbreaking.

"We have to stop this," other-Gray begged eventually, brushing Natsu's hair back from his sweaty forehead. "He can't keep this up." The pink-haired boy was shivering, eyes glassy and unfocused, and Gray nodded in agreement.

"We have almost everything anyways," he said roughly, staring at the pile of armor and weapons that other-Natsu had managed to extract from the inter-dimensional space. He nodded at Rogue and Sting who began to quickly don the heavy riot gear – black chestplates and leg-guards that snapped over their undersuits. Thigh holsters provided them all with two pistols, and Sting snapped some complicated equipment that Gray didn't understand over his ear. It interfaced with the lines of tech that ran under his cybernetic eye and he made a face at the sensation.

"Now what?" Other-Gray hissed, tugging on his armguards. He tucked the currently-not-functioning comm in his ear and then glanced down at other-Natsu, who was lying on the ground and very close to unconsciousness. "We can't leave him here."

"I can…carry him," Gray said carefully, running a hand over his face. "We need to get him geared up, though. If we get caught, he needs to be protected."

"We're not going to get caught," Sting growled, hand resting lightly on one of his pistols. "But we need to move. They're changing out the guards soon and that's the best time to slip in."

They all helped to dress Natsu in his gear, working with the quick efficiency of people with their lives on the line. Then they helped lift him up onto Gray's back, arms draped around his neck. Other-Gray looked at him, head tilted and eyes uncertain.

"You okay?" He asked as Gray shifted other-Natsu on his back. His skin prickled wherever the heat of the boy made it through his suit, and a large part of him wanted to throw up. But he was done being scared.

"Fine," he grunted, moving forward. "Let's go."

* * *

Inciting a riot was easier than they'd expected. The docks were a short walk from the market district, which was sparsely populated due to the inclement weather. A light rain continued to trickle down through the canopies of the market stalls, and Gray was thankful for the waterproof gear they wore.

"We need to get around that corner," he whispered, crouched behind some crates next to other-Gray. He'd set Natsu down for the moment, propped against a wall. The pink-haired boy was slowly regaining consciousness, but his eyes were still glazed and he wasn't able to walk.

"Past the statue?" Other-Gray pointed at the enormous stone monument to Faust that sat directly in the centre of the city square. Gray snorted and nodded his head.

"Mm." He tapped his fingers anxiously against his leg, glancing back at Rogue and Sting. "So, smoke first, explosions where we won't be hurting civilians. Head straight into Acropolis." Sting nodded, fingers twitching against his gun holster. Gray could tell that Sting was nervous about getting the comms up, but he couldn't do much to comfort his lover. "Ready?"

"Let's do this," Rogue whispered, helping Gray hoist other-Natsu onto his back again. Other-Gray held a grenade in each hand, and he was breathing deeply to calm his shaky nerves.

They all broke out at a run at the same time, masks up and weapons ready. At first the civilians were too surprised to react – they just stared at the group with wide, frightened eyes. Then other-Gray dropped the first smoke bomb and everything devolved into pandemonium.

"Call the guards!" Someone screamed, running towards the statue. The merchants operating the stalls began pulling their tables inward, away from what they assumed were bandits here to steal their wares. An empty area just up on the left was the perfect place for the first explosion, and other-Gray tossed a spellcube there, covering his face as the fireball sounded throughout the market district.

"All units to the market!" A sharp, angry voice cut through the smoke, which thickened with the second grenade that Rogue rolled ahead of them. None of them spoke, just moved cautiously along the wall, inching towards the middle of the square. "Armed terrorists in the square, I repeat, all units to the market!"

"Now," Gray hissed, pushing his counterpart forward gently. They were less than two feet away from the guard captain, who had his pistol out and was holding it in front of him cautiously. Civilians were running towards him, screaming and clutching their possessions to their chests, and his weapon wavered. Other-Gray hefted a spellcube in his hand and aimed it at the statue, waiting for the crowd around it to move away before launching the explosive at the base of the monument.

The explosion was perfect, causing the guard captain to turn away from them and cracking the base of the statue at the same time. Gray watched with deep satisfaction as the likeness of Faust began to crumble, tipping dangerously to one side.

"Go, now!" Other-Gray darted around the corner and the rest of the group followed suit, leaving another smoke grenade in their wake. Gray felt the weight of other-Natsu heavy against his back, but the adrenaline buzzing through him made it impossible to focus on the uncomfortable sensation of someone else's body pressing against his.

Miraculously, it worked. They made it to the entrance of Acropolis without running into anyone, and Rogue made quick work of the guards at the front door with two sharp throwing knives to their throats. He and Sting dragged the bodies inside, and they all darted down the hall, finally stopping outside the server room.

"Frak," Sting gasped, hands on his knees, catching his breath. "Everyone okay?" Gray set other-Natsu down gently against the wall and was happy to see that the boy's eyes were clearer and he appeared to be closer to consciousness.

"We're all alive," Gray said cautiously, reaching out and squeezing Sting's arm. "You're up."

"No pressure," Sting grumbled, running a hand through his hair and moving over to the datascreen just outside the server room door. He pressed his hand against it, and lines and lines of complex code began flickering over the surface, going beyond anything Gray had ever learned. Sting closed his eyes and the apparatus on his face lit up as it interfaced with Acropolis' tech. Gray could see Sting's false eye moving behind his eyelid and it was several agonizing minutes before he opened it again. "We're in," he said softly as the door slid open.

"Good job, love," Rogue said, kissing his cheek. "All right, I'll cover Sting. You get these two to the Purging stone and get them the hell out of here. We'll radio when the comms are up." Gray nodded, taking a shaky breath at the idea of approaching the Purging stone again.

"Good luck," other-Gray said quietly. He had helped other-Natsu up and had the pink-haired boy's arm wrapped around his neck, and he was giving Rogue a strange look. "Th-thank you. For helping us." He swallowed. "It's been…"

Rogue stepped forward and pulled both boys into an embrace, kissing their foreheads and smiling at them softly.

"We'll miss you both," he said. Gray could see the conflict on his counterpart's face, and he realized with a start that these two were actually going to leave. It had been their goal since day one, but after three months together, it was hard to believe that in a few minutes, they would be gone. "Good luck. You've helped a lot of people."

"Hope it works," other-Natsu said, words slightly slurred. "An' you get back your magic." Rogue gave him a half-smile, squeezing his arm before stepping back to Sting.

"You'd better get going," Sting said roughly, giving them both a stiff hug. He wasn't as good with physical affection as Rogue. "Thank you." He looked awkward – Gray knew how he felt. Emtotions were hard.

"C'mon," he said, breaking the tension. "Be careful, you two." He leaned in and kissed Rogue, then Sting, trying to memorize how they felt beneath his lips. Sting pressed their foreheads together tightly and he squeezed the blonde man's arm. "Go frak stuff up."

As the server room door slid shut and locked with a hiss, Gray let the other-Gray and Natsu down the hallway, following the paths from memory. Icy tendrils of fear tried to claw their way through him but he pushed past them, too full of anger and adrenaline to be bothered by something as insignificant as terror. It didn't take long to get to the hallway with the very familiar hangar – where he and Natsu had first infiltrated this place three years ago.

Peeking around a corner, Gray cursed when he saw a group of guards – and a Magehunter. They were right outside the Purging room – of course it would be guarded. He glanced back at other-Gray, who was still supporting other-Natsu with an arm around his waist. They both had weapons out, but Gray could tell they were in no condition to fight.

"I'm gonna distract them, get them to come after me," he whispered, gesturing to the group ahead of them. "Get into the room and use the spell Erza gave you. It should turn the stone into a portal and get you home."

"What…about you?" Other-Natsu asked weakly. His brow was furrowed in that familiar look of concern and it made Gray's heart ache. He was still holding out hope for seeing his own Natsu today – if they could get the Wall down.

"I'll be fine," he said, drawing both his pistols and giving them a wry smile. "Good luck." It hurt to say it. He didn't want to admit it, but he had grown attached to the two of them – even if it was still strange looking at his younger self.

"Don't do anything stupid," other-Gray grumbled, shifting Natsu's weight on his shoulders. "Sting and Rogue need you. And so does Natsu." Gray felt an uncomfortable flush running up his chest and into his face and he attempted to tamp it down as quickly as possible.

"I'll do my best," he whispered. Hesitantly, he reached out a hand and squeezed both of theirs, content that he was able to do it without flinching. It was becoming easier. "Now, go. Don't look back, just run as fast as you can."

Before either of them could say any more, Gray turned the corner and fired at the group of guards.

* * *

The fight was short. Despite all four of the guards being armed, Gray had the element of surprise, as well as a grenade. They had chased him down the corridor and around another hallway, leaving other-Gray and Natsu plenty of space to run to the Purging room. Now Gray leaned against the wall, bodies on the floor around him, hand pressed against his stomach. One of them had managed to elbow him in the still-healing wound from the heist and rip open the stitches.

"After all the effort you put into leaving this place…you're back." Gray froze as the cold, flat, terrifyingly familiar voice of Revik came from behind him. He growled, whipping around and feeling acid bubble in his throat.

"Frak you," Gray hissed, trying to tamp down the terror that was now overriding the adrenaline in his body. Revik looked the same as three years ago – neat hair, neat clothes, genial face. Memories started flooding back – scalpels and whips and drugs and…

"You're still afraid." The man took a step forward. He appeared unarmed and Gray's hand drifted to his gun. _"Don't."_ The word was sharp and firm and Gray's hand immediately stopped moving.

"I'm…not afraid…" he said quietly, a heavy pressure settling in his chest. Tightness spread through his limbs and he felt his breath quicken into short, panicked breaths. "You…can't…"

"I can do whatever I want," Revik said mildly, stepping closer to Gray. He reached out and took both guns from Gray's holsters, then threw them on the floor and kicked them down the hallway, smiling all the while. Gray's hands twitched, wanting to push the man away, but something in his brain screamed _he'll hurt you, he'll hurt you, pain, pain, pain_.

"D-don't…" His voice shook as Revik brought a hand up to his throat, pressing carefully.

"Pathetic," Revik said softly, leaving his hand loose around Gray's neck. "You really thought you could come back here and save everyone? I'm going to find all your friends, and I'm going to kill them while you watch. Just like I did with your brother."

Gray flinched, trying as hard as he could to press himself into the wall. He needed to get away. No, he needed to do what Revik said. If he listened, if he obeyed, maybe Revik wouldn't hurt them.

"…h–r me?" Gray jumped as a voice sounded in his ear – Sting's voice. It was distorted and unclear, but it was Sting. They'd got the comms back online. "Gr-y, -an y– h-ar -e?"

Gray glanced up at Revik, who appeared to be unable to hear the signal from the comm hidden under his hair. He exhaled shakily, swallowing under the light pressure of Revik's hand.

"We h-ar you!" The line became clearer and Gray recognized Bickslow's voice – he was leading the team in Louen. "Are we ready? This entire town's rioting now, we can only keep people outta the generator room for so long."

"We're ready too!" Hibiki this time, in Sycca, and Gray could hear something like explosions behind him. "I can't believe you did it, this is…we're actually going to do this!"

"Gray, are you there?" Sting's voice was loud and clear this time, but Revik still didn't react. He was looking at Gray with a calm, placid grin that was somehow a hundred times more terrifying than a sneer.

"Y-you won't find them, Revik," he said. "You're t-too late." He heard Sting curse in the earpiece.

"Frak, he found Gray." There was the sound of typing, then a loud beep. "All right everyone, we're doing this now. Everybody ready? You all have the code?" There were words of assent from Bickslow and Hibiki. "Three, two, one…"

"I know exactly where your friends are," Revik said amicably, pressing down on Gray's throat. Gray made a sound that was a mix between a choke and a whimper.

 _It has to work,_ he thought desperately, still paralyzed with a deeply ingrained terror. _Please, it has to work._ There was nothing but silence through the comms and he closed his eyes, exhaling shakily. If this didn't work, he was going to die here. Revik was going to tear him to pieces, and Gray was going to let him.

"It's down!" Bickslow's joyful shout made Gray snap his head back, slamming it against the wall. He winced, trying to avoid Revik's suspicious gaze. "Sankta so, it's down. Gods, we did it."

"Erza, send out the signal and find the rest of the guild." Sting's voice carried a mixture of relief and authority. "It's gonna get messy, so everybody be ready. We need you all back here as soon as you can – take the maglevs if you can. Overpower the guards. We need to take this castle and frag that stone." He paused. "Gray, can you tell me where you are? Did the other two get out?"

"Th-the Wall is down," Gray stuttered, _willing_ his hands to come up and throw Revik away from him. They remained immobilized at his side; his entire body paralyzed with ice-cold terror. "Y-you can't keep them out anymore. The m-mages are coming for you." Revik's eyes widened incrementally, but he otherwise remained completely neutral, totally calm.

"That's it, Gray." Rogue's voice now, soft and reassuring. There was a click and a beep, and Gray hoped it meant that they had switched to a private channel. "You can do this. He doesn't control you anymore."

"Nothing can bring down the Acropolis," Revik said, sounding completely disinterested. "We have a hundred Magehunters here. They'll tear your little rebellion apart." Gray's heart hammered in his chest and he hoped to gods that other-Gray and Natsu had made it through. He didn't want them here when everything fell apart.

"Y-you…" Gray trailed off as Revik released his grip, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a datapad. He casually opened the screen, revealing a vid of Sting and Rogue, bent over the server units and working furiously to dismantle what security measures they could.

"I know exactly where they are," Revik repeated, tapping the vid and smiling. "So I've sent Magehunters after them. They'll be kept alive, of course - I've made my expectations very clear." Gray's breath caught in his throat. "They'll become familiar with your old room, in fact. I think the floor is still bloodstained from your last beating."

"Frak. You." Gray ground out, feeling his hands move jerkily. "You…stay away from them." He took a breath, calculating the risk of exposing his comm. "Rogue, Sting, get out of there. They're coming for you." A minute flash of anger crossed Revik's face and he reached up to Gray's ear immediately, ripping out the comm.

"Clever," he said mildly, "but too late. I'm going to peel the skin from their bodies, pluck out that young man's eye and study it." Gray's stomach churned and he lifted his lip in a snarl. "And you're going to watch," Revik added. "You're going to hear every scream and plea and-"

"Shut UP!" Something snapped in Gray's mind, hot and furious. His arms came up and he shoved Revik, knocking the man to the ground. Revik's eyes grew wide in genuine surprise and he moved to push himself to standing, but Gray was faster, driving a heavy boot in the man's side. Revik grunted in pain as Gray kicked him again, then darted down the hallway and scooped his gun up off the floor. He pointed it at Revik, hand trembling. "You…you…"

"Drop the gun." Revik's voice was firm and Gray's immediate reaction was to comply, but he snarled and shook his head as if shaking away a bad dream. "Drop. The. Gun."

"No." Gray bared his teeth and moved towards Revik, keeping the gun trained on his head. "I'm done with you." His finger wavered on the trigger and a real look of fear appeared in Revik's eyes. He raised his hands in front of himself and tried to look placating.

"Look, we can-"

Gray's finger squeezed the trigger and the bolt went right between Revik's eyes, snapping the man's head back and knocking him to the floor. A pool of blood quickly began to spread from behind him, trickling down to his clothes and staining the shoulders of his shirt. His eyes were wide and unseeing – death had taken him instantly.

"You deserved…worse," Gray panted, reaching down and grabbing the comm from the floor. He fitted it back in his ear, hands shaking so badly he dropped his gun.

"-ray! Where are you? Answer, godsdamnit!" Sting's voice was panicked, fearful.

"I'm okay." Gray tried to keep his voice steady but to his surprise he felt himself choking up. Tears began coursing down his cheeks, hot and heavy, and he raised a hand to his face, covering his eyes. "Frak, I…he's flatlined. I dusted him."

"Drek, Gray, are you okay?" He took several deep breaths, trying to calm his trembling hands, and crouched down to pick up his gun. A clanking sound at the end of the hallway had him ducking into an alcove, wiping the tears from his face and putting a hand over his chest to calm his pounding heart. He glanced back at Revik's corpse and shuddered. He would have time to dissect how he felt about this later. Right now, he needed to survive.

"Not really." He peeked around the corner and saw a squad of Magehunters, weapons at the ready, charging down the hallway. "I've got company. I think the other two made it through the portal. Are we waiting for the rest of the guild?"

"Yes." Sting coughed wetly and Gray's made a concerned sound."Don't worry, I'm fine. Just grazed me, we took them out. They're coming in squads now, though – the fires aren't distracting them anymore. Erza's gonna bring the guild right to the front door – Laxus should be useful to skrag the stone. Can you get to the entrance?"

"I think so," Gray whispered, crouching down as the Magehunters approached. "I'll see you on the other side."

* * *

Gray collapsed on his knees, panting with exhaustion. He couldn't do this. He was already bleeding from his shoulder, his stomach and his thigh, and he'd run out of Fix a long time ago. He'd lost count of how many Magehunters and soldiers he'd taken out – more than enough to seriously wound him. He'd finally made it to the entrance, but Sting, Rogue and the rest of the guild were nowhere to be seen.

He struggled to his feet, pistol gripped loosely in one hand, and leaned heavily against the wall, looking around for more Magehunters. A set of heads appeared on the edge of the hill outside the doors and he snarled, staggering towards them and firing. Something dark came sailing through the air and landed near his feet, and it took him a second to realize it was a gren-

"Get down!" Something solid slammed into him and pinned him to the ground as the grenade erupted, sending pieces of shrapnel flying through the air. Gray cried out in pain as the bits of metal ripped through his pants and into his shins, but the body on top of him took most of the blast. "Drek, Gray, are you okay? We saw the signals, the rest of the guild is almost here, I couldn't believe you made it across the…Wall…"

Gray blinked, reaching up to rub the dust from his eyes. A shock of pink hair greeted him – other-Natsu? He frowned in confusion, pushing himself to a sitting position. They were supposed to be gone. Wait. His eyes whipped back up to see a deep scar through Natsu's eye. His stomach dropped out from under him, the sounds of explosions and shouting fading into the background. Blood rushed to his ears as he reached up hesitantly, fingers trailing over Natsu's face. His right arm was missing. Oh, gods.

"Natsu?" He whispered, voice breaking. "Is…is it…"

"Gray?" Natsu's face was twisted in confusion, brow furrowed, eyes wet. "But you're…I saw you die. You're not…oh gods, you're alive." Natsu's hand covered Gray's, pressing it against his face. _"Sankta so_ , you're alive."

"It w-was…they faked it," Gray whispered, bringing his other hand up to run through Natsu's hair. It was longer than he remembered. He looked older – lines crinkling the corners of his eyes, stubble on his jaw. He realized with a start that Natsu was still wearing his ring. "I wanted to get back to you so badly, I'm so sorry, I missed you every day, I missed you so badly, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" Gray felt tears streaming down his cheeks again, making tracks in the dirt that covered his face. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to Natsu's chest.

"Shhh, it's okay," Natsu whispered, kissing the top of his head. His voice was shaky and his hand left Gray's to run gently up and down his back. "I can't believe you're alive." He buried his face in Gray's hair and let out a soft sob. _"Frak,_ I missed you so much."

Gray's hands made their way to the back of Natsu's shirt and he clung to the pink-haired man, fingers digging desperately into the fabric. The pain in his stomach and shoulder were forgotten, and the only thing he could hear was Natsu's heartbeat. Natsu was here, in his arms, real.

 _"Mi bedauras,"_ he sobbed. _"Mi bedauras min, bonvolu pardoni min, mi amas vin."_ He suddenly felt dirty, felt like all the darkness in him was spreading through his hands into Natsu. He pulled away, wiping the back of his hand across his face.

"I don't understand what you're saying, love," Natsu said gently, reaching out again to touch Gray's face. Of course Natsu didn't understand. He'd never lived where Underspeak was spoken, never done terrible things to survive, never betray- "Gray, look at me."

"I'm sorry," he whispered again. "I'm sorry, I love you."

"I love you too," Natsu whispered, brushing his hair from his eyes and gazing at him sadly. "What did they do to you?" His fingers brushed over the scar on Gray's face and he ducked his head, ashamed. "You're okay now. I'm here. We're gonna get out of this together. Where are the others?"

Gray gestured northward weakly, still feeling a deep, sorrowful ache in his chest. The real world was starting to come back to him and he dropped his hand back down to his stomach. The wound from the heist was aching and when he brought his hand away, it came back a deep red.

"I can't go far," he said softly, breathing shakily though the pain. "Got shot a few times."

"I'll carry you," Natsu said, leaning in and kissing his cheek. "I'm never leaving you again."

As he bent to lift Gray into his arms, another grenade came flying through the air, landing several feet from them. Natsu glanced at it, then back to Gray with a desperate look.

"I love you so much," he said, wrapping his arms around Gray, who felt grief tear through him. It couldn't end. Not like this. Not when they'd just found each other again.

The grenade clicked once and they both tensed against each other, anticipating the blast, but it never came. Instead the air around them became cold, and a crackling wall of ice sprang out of the ground to cocoon them. Gray's eyes widened.

"What the…this is your magic," Natsu said, bewildered, as he peered up at the icy dome. "You saved us with this." A shout came from behind them and suddenly Gray could see flames raining down on the hill, obfuscated by the ice.

"It's them," Gray said weakly, leaning heavily against Natsu. The ice wall started to shatter and disappear, crumbling slowly to the ground, and then other-Gray was kneeling next to them, icy patterns trailing up his arms.

"You found each other," he said, ghost of a smile coloring his lips. He leaned over and hugged Natsu tightly. "I'm so happy to see you again. Are you okay? I've got a 'derm and some bandages." Other-Natsu stood over them, grinning at his counterpart, hands wreathed in flame. Another enemy appeared on the hill and he snarled, hurling a fireball at them.

"You're…s'posed to be gone," Gray ground out, watching his other-self hand the med supplies to his Natsu. Natsu tipped Gray's head to the side and stuck the patch on his neck, then tugged up his shirt and began bandaging his wounds with quick efficiency. Gray tried his hardest not to flinch, not to shy away from the hands he knew were gentle and loving.

"Apparently that's not how it works," other-Natsu said, eyes scanning the area. He looked ethereal with the light of his flames reflecting on his face. Seeing the two Natsus next to each other was uncanny, and it was easy to see how different they were. Gray was still trying not to focus on his Natsu's missing arm. "It gave us back our magic, but wouldn't let us through." He swallowed heavily. "We need to destroy it."

"You'll never get back," Natsu argued, but other-Gray shook his head.

"We don't have time to experiment," he said firmly, tucking the medkit back into the pocket on his pants. Gray gestured weakly to his shoulder and Natsu peeled his shirt back, making a face at the wound and beginning to bandage it. "We need the spellcubes from the portal but Natsu's having trouble opening it." Even with his magic returned, other-Natsu was pale, and his cheeks were still smudged red from the nosebleeds.

"Maybe I can help grab them," Natsu offered. Gray glanced down at Natsu's Purge mark, half burned away into thick scar tissue. "I still have some magic." He held up his hand and a flame danced in his palm.

"But you'll never get home," Gray whispered, looking up at other-Gray and other-Natsu and feeling panic rising in his chest. "You deserve to get home, you need to…you have your guild…people who love you, and…"

"We have that here, too," other-Natsu said gently, crouching down beside them. "Besides, maybe we'll find another way. But right now, we need to find Faust and Joekel and blow this thing, even if it doesn't get your magic back. This is the only chance we're gonna get to get rid of him." Another explosion rocked the background and Gray raised a hand to his earpiece.

"Rogue, Sting, you okay?" Natsu's eyes it up at the mention of their friends.

"We- o-a- -ots -eavy f-re." Rogue's voice came through, thick with static, gunfire echoing in the background. "Wh-re a-e -ou?"

"We're on the hill by the entrance," Gray said, groaning at the pain his stomach. Natsu placed a gentle hand there and Gray felt mortified when he couldn't control a flinch. Natsu frowned and went to withdraw his hand, but Gray shook his head and grabbed Natsu's wrist, keeping it in place. "We're gonna blow the stone. The rest of Fairy Tail is almost here, they're gonna use their magic and help us push through the Magehunters." He looked at Natsu who nodded, glancing back over the hill. "You guys get back to the docks, all right?"

"Copy." Sting's voice came through this time, much clearer but tight with what Gray assumed to be pain. "Did the other two…nggnn…make it through?"

"Negative," Gray replied, looking sadly up at other-Natsu and other-Gray. "It didn't work. They're with us, we'll meet you back at the docks. Get out of here."

"Bonsancon," Sting replied, breathing heavily. His voice softened. "If we don't see each other again, _ni amas vin."_ Gray's cheeks immediately turned red and he avoided Natsu's curious gaze.

 _"Mi ankau amas vin du,"_ he said softly. "But we will see each other again. I promise."

* * *

 **Underspeak (Esperanto) Translations**  
Cu vi estas bone? = Are you okay?  
Fermi la okulojn = Close your eyes  
perfidulo = traitor  
Nei lasu min reiri = Don't make me go back  
Ci tio estas reala = This is real  
Mi bedauras = I'm sorry  
Mi bedauras min, bonvolu pardoni min, mi amas vin = I'm sorry, please forgive me, I love you  
Bonsancon = Good luck  
Ni amas vin = we love you  
Mi ankau amas vin du = I love you two, too


	11. Chapter 11

Natsu sat on the roof of the guild, feet kicked up on the wall, arm resting on the edge of his rickety chair. A longview scanner sat in his lap and he tapped his fingers against it absently. His skin thrummed and a headache was starting to pulse just behind his temples.

He missed Gray. It had been several months since the Earthlanders had arrived and he'd been unpleasantly shocked into the past by his fiance's counterpart, and the ache still remained. He played with the ring on his finger, shifting uncomfortably as phantom pain shot up where his right arm would have been. It didn't happen often, but today was one of those days. He hadn't slept well either – restless dreams of fire and scorched flesh and blood.

A memory started to form in the back his mind. _Soft kisses and fingers trailing up his arms, lips pressed to the soft place just under his ear. Gray's hair tickled his nose and he buried his face in it, sighing happily. "I love you," Gray murmured, hands trailing over Natsu's chest. His lips made their way across Natsu's face until they were kissing, soft and sweet. "I love you so much. Wanna get married?"_

He shook his head, lifting up the scanner and sweeping it over the ruins of whatever abandoned town they were now in. Everything was dry and barren, little dust devils sweeping through the streets. The Magehunters he'd seen earlier were gone, taking speeders back to the city, and the dry wasteland between here and the Wall was completely still. The silence was unsettling and Natsu found himself humming under his breath.

"All good up there?" The radio tucked into his pants crackled to life and he startled, setting down the scanner and picking the receiver up to reply.

"If you mean boring as frak, you got it," he said, yawning. Lucy snorted on the other end of the line. "Chromes bugged out, it's nothin' but dirt now."

There was a silence and he wondered if something had come up, but her voice came back shortly. She must have sensed his melancholy mood, since her tone was gentle.

"You doing okay?"

He sighed, tipping his head and rubbing at his face with the stump of his right arm. Part of him wanted to talk about it – Lucy would listen, she was good at that. She'd spent many nights with him, curled up on one of the tiny beds in the apartment, holding his hand while he cried away the ache in his chest.

"Just..." He sighed. Today's mood was so intangible, so fleeting, so- "Wait a minute."

He couldn't hold both the radio and the scanner at the same time so he set the radio down, peering through the lenses out towards the Wall. It was shimmering faintly, which wasn't unusual, but Natsu could have sworn he saw an explosion beyond it.

"Natsu? What's going on?" He didn't answer, sweeping his gaze across the horizon, keeping an eye out for—there. It was so far north that it was barely visible, but he was certain it had been an explosion. Orange fire had blossomed up in the air, if only momentarily. Where was that – Sycca? Could the civilians be rioting? He dropped the scanner back in his lap and grabbed the radio.

"Luce, get up here, something's happening." She didn't respond, but seconds later the trapdoor on the roof opened and her shoulders popped through. He waved her over. "C'mere, I can't - the radio and the scanner."

"What is it?" she asked, grabbing the scanner and peering through it. He guided her to the area where he'd seen the explosion and she gasped. "Are they rioting? They can't be, that's - they'd all get..." Her shoulders stiffened and she trailed off. "Frak me, it can't be."

"What?" Natsu nudged at her and swiped at the scanner out of her hands, peering through it and reeling back at what he saw.

The Wall was coming down.

"Luce, did you..."

"Yes, stay here, I'm going to tell Wendy." Natsu heard Lucy jumping back down into the building and running along the top floor, but he couldn't bring the scanner away from his face. The Wall was coming down.

It looked like it was cracking – huge, dark lines spiderwebbed down from the apex of the dome, skittering across its pulsating surface until they hit the ground and exploded. The shimmering barrier began to fade, crackling like static before disappearing entirely, leaving only a clear view to the other side.

"They did it," he whispered, realizing suddenly that he was crying. He pulled the scanner away from his face and wiped his eyes on his sleeve, letting out a shaky breath. "Frak me, they actually did it."

"Natsu! Get down here!" Lucy's voice came through the radio again, this time jubilant. "We're getting a message from Erza!"

Natsu dropped both the scanner and the radio in his haste to get to the rooftop panel. He shimmied down the ladder as best he could with one arm, dropping the last few feet to the ground and darting down the hallway. By the time he reached the control center he was panting and out of breath.

"Erza!" He shouted. Her grinning face took up most of the vidscreen – she was piloting some sort of airship. "Frak, I can't believe...you...did they-"

"The Otherworlders are on their way back home," she said, smiling proudly. "They did this. And now we've got a chance to frag that stone and dust that son of a bitch Faust. I'll be there as quick as I can – be ready."

The screen went dark and Natsu's chest suddenly tightened, his vision blurring as he leaned forward and rested his hand on a knee. Lucy was there with gentle fingers on his back, guiding him to sit down and whispering something that just sounded like static in his ear. All he could hear was his own heart pounding, feel the clamminess of his hand, the tightness of the skin across his chest.

"-tsu. Hey, are you with me?" Lucy's voice swam into his ears, shocking him out of whatever had happened. He glanced up at her, breathing still erratic. "Look at me." He swallowed, letting her grab his hand and squeeze it. "You good?"

"Y-yeah," he said shakily, tipping his head back and sighing. "Just - it hit me, we're - this is finally, it's happening." His words were all jumbled and he pulled his hand out of Lucy's gentle embrace, pressing the ring to his lips. Closing his eyes, he once again conjured up his last morning with Gray – gentle touches, soft kisses, promises of something more. "I finally get to kill that frakking whoreson. For Gray."

* * *

The ride across what had previously been the Wall went by in a blur. Erza packed the entire guild into her ship, and she didn't complain when Natsu wrapped his arm around her and didn't let her go for several minutes.

"It's good to see you again," she murmured, pressing her face into his hair. "But we have to go. Now." She pulled back, looking like she was going to say something else, then shook her head and headed up to the pilot's seat. "Everybody hold on – we're booking it and it could get bumpy."

She wasn't lying. Natsu ended up sitting near the back of the ship since holding on with one hand was getting perilous. He peered out the window as they passed over Louen, which appeared to be in a state of riot. Fires burned on street corners, the markets were trashed, and Magehunters were dashing through the streets, grabbing civilians and pinning them to the walls with guns drawn.

"We can't help them," Laxus said, voice uncharacteristically gentle. Natsu glanced up at him, face twisted in frustration. "We gotta take out the stone. It'll save more people."

"I know," Natsu sighed, leaning his forehead against the glass. His stomach was roiling – flying in the ship was only marginally better than taking the maglevs. Natsu knew that the nausea wasn't only from the ship, though. After three years, he was going back to the place where Gray had... where Gray had been killed. And where Natsu was going to end Faust as slowly and painfully as possible.

The ship bumped to a stop half an hour or so later, and Natsu raised his head, immediately awake. His hand went to the pistol strapped to his thigh and he looked around at what was left of his guild.

"We have a team in the Acropolis," Erza said, peering out of the ship, her own pistol drawn. "We should split up – they've got more Magehunters than you've seen, and we need to dust as many as possible. The rest of our teams are coming in on the maglevs from Sycca and Louen, but they won't be here for a bit."

"Can we get to the stone?" Natsu asked, pushing himself to standing. He was still feeling slightly dizzy. "What are we looking at?"

Outside the ship's window, the Acropolis loomed over them like a dark spear thrust from the earth. Lights flickered from random windows, and the sound of shouting and gunfire could be heard everywhere.

"Our intel says there's over a hundred Magehunters in there," Erza said, face serious. "You should split up, try to make it to one of the entrances and rendezvous as close to the stone as you can. Natsu, you know where it is?"

"Mm." He flicked his wrist and a holographic map appeared from the bracelet he wore. He moved closer to Lucy and let her move the three-dimensional replica that had appeared until she was gesturing to a spot near the landing zone. "Down this hallway, at the intersection. It'll probably be the most heavily guarded place next to Faust's rooms. Save your frags for here if you can."

Everyone nodded, adjusting their holsters and patting down jacket pockets to check for other pieces of tech. An uneasy silence spread throughout the ship, and Natsu sighed, flicking off the projection and putting his hand on his hip.

"We've been hoping for this for a long, long time," he said quietly, glancing around at his friends. Laxus and Freed gave him short, sharp nods; Levy tapped her scanner and gave him a half-smile. Wendy's face was set in a hard line, jaw tight and hands resting on the pistols at her hips, and Gajeel had a wicked grin on his face. "We're gonna go in there and give 'em hell. Teach them to mess with us. Give 'em what they're due." Lucy rested her hand on Natsu's shoulder and squeezed. "We ready?"

"Ready," Laxus grunted, turning and heading out the door of the ship. Everyone started to file after him, weapons drawn.

"Natsu, wait." Erza stopped him with a gentle hand on his shoulder and he turned to her, puzzled. Her face was a mix of sorrow and something he couldn't quite identify. "We need to talk." He frowned.

"Is now really the best time?" he asked, glancing out the door at his friends. Gunfire still rattled in the background, and screams could be heard intermittently.

"It's important," she insisted, swallowing heavily and looking him in the eye. "Look, I know you saw the holo, but-"

Whatever Erza was going to say was cut off by an explosion that rocked the ship, tipping it to one side and shattering the glass of the windows. Erza shouted, shoving Natsu out the door before the ship tipped entirely on its side. They both rolled away, looking up in the sky to see a Magehunter craft with its guns pointed directly at them.

"RUN!" Natsu shouted, turning toward his guildmates and taking off at a sprint towards the Acropolis. They all obeyed without question, dodging in unpredictable patterns as they burst across the courtyard toward the towering building. "Meet at the stone!" Natsu veered off to one side, ducking beneath the cover of several artificial trees that dotted the concrete.

Gunfire rattled down around him from the ship but he miraculously dodged it all, hit only by flying shards of the ground where it was impacted by the blast. A Magehunter appeared in front of him, its faceless mask impassive against the onslaught. Natsu raised his gun and swiftly put a bolt between where the hunter's eyes would be, and it slumped to the ground.

The next few minutes were a mess of sprinting, hiding, shooting, and dodging. By the time he reached the steps to the Acropolis, Natsu was bleeding from his bicep and breathing harder than he ever had. Only a few hundred more feet to go and he would be inside the-

A familiar, dark-haired mage was at the top of the steps, stumbling forward and firing at a pair of Magehunters that Natsu hadn't noticed. Other-Gray? What was he still doing here? Erza had said they were heading for the portal.

Natsu whipped around at a clicking sound behind him and swiftly shot a pair of Magehunters who had nearly snuck up on him, but not before one of them lobbed a frag at other-Gray. "Get down!" Natsu cursed, dashing forward and tackling the boy, pinning him to the ground as the grenade exploded. Sharp pieces of shrapnel tore at his skin, occasionally piercing his armored clothing, and he ground his teeth against the pain. When the pieces of metal stopped flying around them, he sat up, breathless.

 _"Drek,_ Gray, are you okay? We saw the signals, the rest of the guild is almost here, I couldn't believe you made it across the…Wall…"

Natsu trailed off as he took in the man pinned underneath him – dark hair, wide eyes, twisted scar down the side of his neck. The noises of the battle faded into the background as Natsu stared and stared. It couldn't...this wasn't...

"Natsu?" Gray's voice broke, shaky but very clearly the same one that had whispered, _I love you, marry me_ in Natsu's ear three years ago. A wave of feelings flooded back through Natsu at lightning speed – the morning in bed, the adrenaline rush of the prison break, the excruciating pain in his arm. Then the tears, the grief, the screaming as Gray disappeared. Later, the deep, aching sadness after watching Gray slump to the floor, away from the gun pressed to the back of his head.

But now...the eyes that had begged forgiveness for leaving him were filled with tears, staring up at him desperately.

Holy hell. Gray was alive.

* * *

Everything after that was hazy. He and Gray must have said words to each other, but the only thing that stuck in Natsu's mind was Gray's pleading, _I'm sorry, I love you, please forgive me_. Then there was ice, and fire, and Gray was bleeding under his fingers as Natsu pressed desperately against the wound.

"Up," he grunted, dragging Gray to his feet with the help of the Earthland ice mage. Gray stumbled upward, groaning in pain as they each took one of his arms and started moving towards the Acropolis. Other-Natsu covered their retreat, walking backwards with his hands held out in front of him, enveloped in flames. Natsu's mind swam, breathing shaky. He felt unreal.

"We're gonna have to fight our way back to the stone," other-Gray warned, frost creeping up his arms as he peered around the corner, nodding to indicate it was safe. Natsu drew his pistol from its thigh holster and held it out carefully, shifting closer to Gray and peering around. The main foyer appeared to be abandoned, but two enormous staircases spiraled from either side of the room to the second floor. Sounds of gunshots echoed down the steps.

"Do we split or stay together?" Other-Gray was looking over at Natsu now, who blinked. They were asking him? Gray leaned against him and groaned.

"Stick...together," Gray said, breathing heavily. "Hunters are...hard to take out."

"We've got an advantage now," other-Natsu said, grinning and summoning two enormous bursts of flame in his palms. They began to move towards the left staircase, Gray scoffing at the pink-haired boy.

"Don't be...a cocky shit," he ground out, and Natsu laughed. The familiar turn of phrase made his chest ache. Gray stumbled a bit against the stairs, but they managed to make their way slowly upward, other-Natsu ahead of them, ready to attack.

"Found them!" There was a deep shout in a modulated voice that Natsu recognized as a Magehunter, but it was cut off quickly in a strangled yell. Fire flew from other-Natsu's fists – he charged into the fray, swinging left and right and filling the hallway with flames. Other-Gray raised an eyebrow at Natsu who nodded, taking all of Gray's weight as the ice mage joined his partner, ice daggers flying from his fingertips to pin Faust's men to the wall.

"Gray, down!" Natsu shouted, firing at a Magehunter who snuck up behind the dark-haired boy. The bolt hit the hunter in the shoulder and he staggered backwards, then took a blast of ice to the chest and slammed back into the wall. Other-Natsu moved until he was back-to-back with his Gray, and Natsu's chest ached at seeing them work together so fluidly.

"Let's go!" He shouted as soon as the last hunter was down. Other-Gray darted back over to help him, and they moved down the hallway as quickly as they could, taking out hunters they ran into along the way. Natsu's shoulder began to ache from the weight of Gray leaning against him – he was getting heavier and heavier the farther they moved. "Hold on, love," he murmured, taking a shaky breath as his gun trembled in his hand.

"Are we close? I can't remember which way we came." Natsu glanced up to see his Earthland counterpart giving him a look of confusion. He hesitated – his head was swimming, vision blurring at the edges and heart pounding. This was too much.

"L-left," Gray ground out, gesturing to a bend in the hallway. He groaned in pain, tipping his head forward. "Y'gotta...leave me here," he panted, hand pressed against his stomach. Even with the bandage, Natsu could see the blood staining his fingertips. _Drek_. "I c-can't-"

"Shut up," Natsu interrupted, and Gray looked over at him, surprised. There was a loud ringing in Natsu's ears and nothing felt real – nothing except the warmth of Gray against his side. "I'm not leaving you _ever_ again so don't be a frakking idiot." Gray tried to say something but Natsu growled and shook his head. "Shut. Up."

The sound of pounding feet had them all looking down the hall in both directions. A battalion of Magehunters rounded the corner to their left, weapons drawn and firing on them immediately. Natsu yanked Gray back into a wall alcove to avoid the gunfire while other-Gray threw up an ice wall to protect them.

"Behind you!" Natsu shouted as he saw another group coming up the right hallway. He fired into the group a couple times, then other-Natsu launched an enormous fireball at them. Screams and the smell of burnt flesh filled the air and Natsu gagged, shaking his head to get rid of the ringing in his ears. It was too much, there were too many, _frak_ , they were all going to die here and-

A line of lightning flew down the corridor, jumping from hunter to hunter and knocking them to the ground. The air filled with static – the hairs on Natsu's arm stood on end – as another bolt exploded in the center of the other group.

"Laxus!" The blonde man and Freed darted up the stairs, Freed with his rapier in one hand and a pistol in the other. Lightning crackled up and down Laxus' arms and he scowled, looking around for more enemies. "C'mon, we're almost at the stone."

"Holy hell," Freed whispered, seeing Natsu and Gray crouched in the alcove. "But he's..."

"Long...story," Gray groaned, tipping his head back against the wall. "Good to...nnnghnn...see you again." Laxus was staring too, mouth open in shock.

"Look, we can have reunions later, we need to get to the stone before Faust does." Other-Gray gestured down the hallway and both Freed and Laxus snapped out of their trances, nodding to him. Freed put away his rapier and moved to take Gray's other arm, but the dark-haired man growled and pulled away from him, shaking his head. Natsu frowned - what was wrong with Gray?

"Why're-"

"It has to be one of us," other-Natsu said softly, moving to take Freed's place. Gray still looked uncomfortable, but he allowed the pink-haired boy to duck under his arm and help Natsu lift him to his feet. "Long story. Ready?"

Natsu felt protected as they ran down the hallway – Laxus on his left, Freed and other-Gray on the right. He could ignore the crackling lightning and the gunshots and focus on Gray. Gray, who was warm and breathing beside him, who was going to stay that way so Natsu could kiss him and hold him and take back those missing years.

 _"Drek,"_ Laxus cursed, coming to a sudden stop and reaching out his arm to push Gray and the two Natsus backward. "We're too-"

"Late, yes." The voice was soft and wavering, and Natsu peeked under Laxus' arm to see a very familiar face – Faust. Standing next to him was a heavily armored man, hands resting on an enormous sword. The last time Natsu had seen him, he'd been choking Gray to death. Natsu growled under his breath, hand moving to his pistol, but Laxus slapped it away.

"Surrender now and you'll be tried fairly." Joekel's voice was almost bored – flat and disinterested. "If you resist, I'll be forced to take care of you." His fingers tapped the hilt of his blade and he gave them all a nasty grin.

"Take him out," other-Natsu hissed at Laxus, but the big man shook his head.

"His armor absorbs magic," he growled, lightning still crackling between his fingers. "We can't take him down."

"Your riot has gone far enough," Faust declared, shaking his head. "I will admit, I am impressed how far you got. And that you were able to take out my head researcher – I think I have you to thank for that." He peered through the crowd of mages to glare at Gray, who spit on the floor and struggled to stand.

"Frak you," he growled, voice unsteady. "We're...gonna..."

"Going to what?" Joekel asked mildly. "You've failed. We won't let you get to the stone, and now you're surrounded. There's nobody coming to save yo-"

Joekel made a choking sound, bringing his hands up to his throat where a dagger had suddenly materialized. His eyes widened and he turned to look down the hall, but couldn't stop the second dagger that whipped through the air and lodged itself in the side of his neck. Natsu watched with bewilderment as a shimmering field moved in front of them, towards the enormous man. An invisibility lacrima.

"You were saying?" It was Rogue. The cloaking field dropped and he stood in front of Joekel, reaching up for the dagger and yanking it out before slamming it back in again. Joekel choked, blood pouring from his throat, and tried to grab Rogue, but the dark-haired man moved behind him and wrapped an arm around his neck, kicking the sword to the ground.

There was a flurry of movement as Sting appeared as well, shirt stained with blood but standing upright. He grabbed Faust quickly, settling his pistol to the old man's temple and dragging him away from the door.

Joekel reached up to grab at Rogue but Laxus stepped forward, trapping the man's hands and punching him in the face. The Magehunter captain howled in pain, gurgling on the blood that flowed from his mouth and his throat. Rogue tugged both knives out of Joekel's neck, then let Laxus drop the man and kick him in the ribs.

"He's all yours," the blonde man rumbled, keeping a heavily booted foot on one of Joekel's arms. Rogue crouched down next to Joekel, his face an impassive mask. He looked so different, Natsu thought – longer hair, harder eyes. He toyed with one of the daggers, spinning it between his fingers as he contemplated the prone captain.

"Rot in hell," Rogue spat after a moment, flipping the dagger around in his hand. Then he brought it down hard, slashing deep across Joekel's throat. Blood sprayed onto the wall behind him as Joekel screamed, choking on the hot, red liquid. Natsu could hear his Earthland counterpart retching on Gray's right side and he felt a pang of sympathy for his younger self. This couldn't be easy to watch.

"That's for me, and everyone else you sold into slavery," Rogue growled, standing up and wiping the daggers on his pants. He shoved them back in the holsters, watching impassively as Joekel's body twitched a few times, blood bubbling up from the wound. After several seconds the twitching stopped altogether, and his fingers went slack.

No one moved. A silence descended on the group as Rogue looked over at Natsu, his face shifting into a sad smile.

"Now, what do we do with this whoreson?" Sting growled, gun still pressed to Faust's temple. Natsu's eyes widened, mind immediately flashing back to the holo of Gray being executed. He'd vowed to put a bolt between Faust's eyes, and here was his chance.

"He's mine." Turning to Gray, he pressed a kiss to the man's temple, then let him lean heavily against Edo-Natsu. He pushed himself to his feet, making his way toward the man he reviled most in the world.

Faust's eyes were wide and terrified and he pushed himself back against Sting, who growled and twisted his arm.

"P-please, we can-"

"How many mages begged you for mercy?" Natsu asked, voice like steel. "How many pleaded for you to not take their magic, to let them live because they had children, partners, friends?" Faust didn't answer, just shook his head and struggled against Sting's iron grip. "I watched my partner die, you son of a bitch."

"I didn't-"

"No excuses." Natsu pulled the pistol from his holster and hefted it in his hand, reaching out and grabbing Faust by the hair. "On your knees." Faust whimpered as Sting released his arms and Natsu shoved him to the ground. "On your knees like you did to him."

The silence in the hallway was deafening. Natsu knew that soon, a new battalion of Magehunters would round the corner and open fire, so he placed his pistol on Faust's forehead. The old man was crying now, pleading for his life with his hands in the air.

"Shut up," Natsu growled. "At least die with some dignity." Then he took a deep breath and pulled the trigger.

Faust slumped backward, eyes wide, but Natsu didn't look. Instead he turned and moved back to Gray, who was gazing at him with tears in his eyes. Natsu knew he was crying too, but he didn't want to think about it. He helped Gray to his feet and gestured toward the Purging room.

"Let's go," he said roughly, feeling Gray squeezing his shoulder. "We've got a stone to skrag."

* * *

"Frak, I forgot how hard this was," Natsu groaned, wiping blood from his face. His hands were shaking as he held the portal open, pulling out spellcubes one by one and handing them to other-Natsu. A headache was forming right behind his eyes that he was desperately trying to ignore. He could feel blood trickling from his ears and a dark haze clouding his vision.

"Erza's a harsh teacher," other-Natsu said softly, eyes on the ground. Natsu could tell he was trying to be casual, but his face was white and his hands were shaky.

"She's terrifying," Natsu agreed, trying to keep him distracted from what was likely the most violent day of his life. He closed his eyes and felt around for whatever was left in the portal. It appeared to be empty and he let it close, collapsing backwards and breathing heavily. The pile of cubes that was stacked next to other-Natsu was impressive. "Where'd you get all these?"

"We, um...kinda robbed a weapons dealer," other-Natsu said, avoiding the concerned gaze that Natsu was shooting his way. "It was...interesting. Gray got shot..." Natsu's eyes widened and other-Natsu shook his head hurriedly. "Not badly, though, and Rogue stitched him up, so he's okay."

Natsu glanced over to their partners who were both standing beside the door, talking in hushed voices. The room had been sealed off by other-Gray's ice wall, keeping out the Magehunters who had shown up, irate to find the corpses of their captain and king. They'd been throwing themselves against the wall for nearly an hour now, to no avail.

Wendy had shown up and did her best to heal Gray, who was now able to just barely stand on his own without toppling over. The rest of the guild had been evacuated to the docks, and Sting was talking with them through the comms.

"You two good?" Natsu looked up at Laxus, who gestured to the pile of spellcubes. "We gotta get this set up." Other-Natsu nodded, pushing himself to his feet and then reaching a hand out to help Natsu up.

"We'll do it," he said, sighing and picking up a handful of the shimmering cubes. "What's the plan for the guys outside?"

Laxus grinned, lightning crackling between his fingertips. "Leave that to me," he said.

Natsu followed his counterpart over to the stone, wincing at the low thrum that still emanated from it. The Otherworlders had said that the spell from Erza had turned the stone a bright blue and given them back their magic, but now it was back to the same mottled orange color Natsu remembered from the first time he came to Acropolis. Being near it made him nauseous and he worked to place the spellcubes as quickly as possible.

"So I know now's not really the time," Natsu said, glancing over at Gray again. He was leaning against the wall, absently rubbing the wound in his side, involved in deep discussion with Freed. He glanced back over to other-Natsu who looked up at him with dull eyes. Natsu wanted to pull him into a hug, but instead he started talking again. "What was he speaking?"

"Speaking?" Other-Natsu frowned in confusion, setting one of the cubes carefully on a rough ridge of the Purging stone, making sure not to touch it. "Oh. Uh, it's called Underspeak. They use it down there...we kinda picked up a few words here and there. Gray more than me." He chewed on his lip. "That place is..."

"You don't have to talk about it," Natsu said, sighing and pushing a cube gently onto the stone. "He's just so different." He looked at his feet, pain and frustration whirling in his chest. "Last time I saw him, he was – I was in so much pain – he saved us, he, h-he pulled up a wall of ice and th-then-" He stopped, shaking his head. "I saw him die."

A gentle hand on his arm pulled him out of his reverie and he looked up into other-Natsu's sad face. "I'm sorry."

"Not your fault," Natsu said, trying to push his features into a smile. "Is there..." he hesitated. "You don't have to tell me, I'm just curious. Does he have something...going on with Sting? Or...Rogue?"

"Oh." Other-Natsu's face turned pink and he glanced down at his hands. So there was something. Natsu's chest ached and he resisted the urge to cry. "Um. Well, I'm sure he'll tell you. But sort of? It's not...it's a bit complicated." He rubbed his face. "Undertown is...awful and everyone has to make shitty choices. Rogue's a...a prostitute." Natsu felt grief twist in his chest as he looked over at his friend. He still had a smear of blood on his cheek from killing Joekel. "Sting's a...actually, I don't really know what he does. Something illegal involving computers."

"And what does Gray do?" Natsu asked softly, looking at his…fiancé? Is that still what they were? Gray looked so different – so much harder, so much older. The scar on his face was hard to miss, although Natsu knew that his missing arm was also fairly obvious. It was more Gray's eyes that worried him. They looked haunted.

"He fights," Other-Natsu said simply, rubbing his face. "Fought. For money. I fought him by accident, I didn't know it was him and he didn't recognize me. He broke my nose." He sounded almost petulant.

"Sounds like we have a lot to catch up on," Natsu said sadly, rubbing his face. He took a deep breath, trying to push any unwanted emotions away until they finished this job. "We ready?"

Other-Natsu nodded and they made their way over to the door. An icy chill radiated out from other-Gray, lining the doorway and floor with frost.

"Breathe, popsicle," other-Natsu murmured, placing a comforting hand on his partner's waist. Natsu took a shaky breath, turning to his Gray, who reached out a hand and pulled him tight.

"You okay? Gray said softly, kissing Natsu's temple. Natsu shook his head and Gray sighed, squeezing him tightly. "We will be," he whispered. "We will be."

"All right, I _think_ this will work." Freed held out a chunk of debris that they had found on the floor – it was glowing with runes and crackling with lightning. It was similar to the grenades they'd made to get into Louen, and it was intended to set off the rest of the spellcubes and destroy the stone.

"Blast radius?" Sting's arms were crossed over his chest and he closed his eyes for a minute, tech on his face flickering.

"About five hundred meters," Freed replied, rubbing his temples. "Give or take another five hundred meters because I've never done something like this before and we have no idea how much power those cubes have." Sting nodded.

"That's how far the cubes should get us." He pulled up a holographic map of the Acropolis from his wrist computer, pointing down at the main floor. "We should aim for here, and once we land we run like hell." Rogue stepped up beside him, playing with one of his daggers.

"There's more hunters coming in from the other towns," he said, eyes skipping across the group. "We need to take them out. After the stone is skragged we need to reclaim Acropolis. Hopefully we'll have our magic back by then, but if not, are you all good to fight?"

Natsu glanced up at Gray as he nodded, and he nudged the dark-haired man, frowning. "Are you sure?" He asked. "You-"

"I've had worse," Gray said roughly, pressing a kiss to Natsu's hair. "I'm not quitting now. This ends today."

"Then let's do it." Freed moved over to the Purging stone and settled the chunk of debris at the base. Everyone moved closer, hands on Sting who was standing in the middle of the room. A thrill ran up through Natsu's chest as he grasped Sting's forearm, feeling Gray's arm move around his waist.

Sting let the spellcube dissolve in his hand and Natsu felt that familiar tug just below his navel as the room began spinning. He could hear the Magehunters shouting outside the ice wall that was slowly starting to dissolve. As they began to smash their way through it, Laxus turned and shot a bolt of lightning directly at Freed's runes. Natsu felt the hairs on his arm stand up for a moment, and then the tugging sensation intensified and they were gone.

"Run!" Natsu shook his head, dazed, and glanced around him, realizing they were in the foyer of the Acropolis. A thunderous boom ripped through the upper levels of the building – Freed had clearly underestimated the blast radius because even five floors down the building was shaking, huge chunks of stone falling from the ceiling.

"Let's go!" Other-Natsu had grabbed Gray's hand and was pulling the two of them forward, toward the exit of the building, ducking and weaving between chunks of marble that slammed into the floor in front of them. Natsu's heart was pounding, hand gripped tightly in Gray's as the sounds of shouting and the scent of dust and blood filled the air.

A Magehunter popped up in front of them and Natsu went to draw his pistol but other-Gray beat him to it, hitting them between the eyes and jumping over their body as they raced to the door. "Go!" He shouted, turning back to look at Gray. "Faster, we've gotta go!" Gray winced and clutched at his side, limping as quickly as he could. It wasn't fast enough.

"Sorry about this!" Large arms swept under Gray as Laxus lifted the dark-haired man to his chest, ignoring his panicked struggling. "Rather you be angry and alive." Natsu's heart ached at the expression on his partner's face but didn't have time to contemplate it as he ducked around another piece of rubble and slid out the front door.

A _whooshing_ sound filled the air and Natsu suddenly felt breathless, like the air was being sucked out of his lungs. The others around him started to choke, leaning forward and gasping in heavy breaths. Natsu dropped to his knees, groaning as a pressure started building inside his head until he thought he was going to die. Then, just as suddenly as it had started, the sensation receded and an ear-splitting crack rent the air. A blast of power burst out from the Acropolis, washing over everyone in the courtyard – Natsu felt like he was in the ocean, being battered by unforgiving waves.

The sensation receded and Natsu was left on his knees, panting with exertion, looking up at his friends. "You guys...okay?" He gasped, staggering to his feet. Laxus had also fallen, and Gray was lying on the ground next to him, eyes wide and chest heaving.

"Did it..." Other-Natsu and Gray looked at him expectantly and Natsu frowned, then looked down at his hands. He summoned a tiny flame in his hands, no bigger than anything he'd been able to make before. Dropping to his knees next to Gray, he grabbed his partner's hands, staring at him desperately. Gray flexed his fingers a few times, but his expression told Natsu everything he needed to know.

It hadn't worked.

* * *

They were finally alone.

After the sobering realization that nobody had their powers back, the group of them had returned to the Acropolis, safe now that the Magehunter threat had been neutralized. Laxus had found the building's sleeping quarters, clearly meant for Acropolis servants, and everyone had filed into rooms with the silent agreement to deal with everything tomorrow.

Gray closed the door behind him and didn't turn around, remaining there with his hand on the scanpad and his head bowed. Natsu shifted uncertainly. The air was heavy with tension, and his head was still swimming from everything that had happened today. He squeezed his eyes shut, rubbing his face, then sighed and moved towards Gray. When he touched his partner's waist Gray flinched, then exhaled and turned around.

"I feel like 'are you okay' is a stupid question," Natsu murmured, searching Gray's face for something familiar. He just looked so...guilty. Sad. "Talk to me, love." Gray was silent for a long while before he finally spoke.

"You...I just..." He struggled for words, clenching and unclenching his fists. "I thought I'd never see you again." There was relief there, and an undercurrent of sadness.

"I know," Natsu said, tugging on Gray's hand until they were both sitting on the bed in the center of the room. Natsu ran his fingertips gently over the rough, scarred skin of Gray's hand, not shying away from the space where Gray's pinkie used to be. Gray shuddered, closing his eyes.

"I don't..." Gray's voice was shaky. "I don't deserve you. Not anymore." Natsu's chest ached and he brought Gray's hand to his lips, kissing it softly.

"That's not how it works," he murmured. "I love you. I never stopped, even when I thought you were gone." He sighed a little, brushing his lips over Gray's palm. "And...if you still love me..."

"Of course I do," Gray said roughly, turning to face him. "I've thought about you every day since I lost you." He brought his other hand up to Natsu's hair and combed his fingers through it gently, hardened gaze relaxing slowly into one of fondness. "Thinking of you kept me alive when I was..." he swallowed, then dropped his hand back to his lap. "But I've...hurt people. Killed them. Done things I'm not proud of."

"Don't you think I've killed people too?" Natsu's eyes roamed Gray's face but the dark-haired man wouldn't meet his gaze. "We all do what we have to-"

"-to survive, yeah." Gray sighed miserably. "That's what Rogue always says." Natsu's fingers tightened unconsciously on Gray's as a flash of jealousy stole through him, hot and red and fleeting. Gray bounced his knee, staring at the floor as a long moment of silence passed. Then he whispered, "I slept with them. Sleep...with them."

Natsu felt his stomach twist. He'd known it – the way Sting had kissed Gray's cheek earlier had been more than friendly, and while Natsu didn't understand Underspeak, he could hear the fond tone they all used with each other.

Hurt flared up in him, whispering, _how dare you, how could you, I've only ever loved you._ It ached – a bitter sting to temper the joy of finding out that Gray was still alive. The feeling simmered under Natsu's skin – until he looked at Gray's eyes. They were dark and sad and so full of pain, and desperately honest.

"I never...I didn't stop loving you," Gray whispered, voice uncertain. "I could never stop." He sniffed, rubbing his hand across his eyes. "It was just...everything h-hurt and it was, it was bad, and I just..."

"You...love them too." There was another long silence.

"Yes."

Natsu's heart hurt at the admission – even more at the look of sorrow and shame in Gray's eyes. Natsu could see that whatever Gray had with the other two wasn't meant to replace what they had together, but it left him feeling off-kilter. He didn't need that right now. He just wanted to _be_ with Gray; to touch him and feel him and revel in the fact that he was _alive_. They could talk about things that hurt tomorrow.

"It's okay," he said finally, and Gray's eyes came up to meet his, surprised. "I'm not...I'm not mad." He was surprised to find that it was true. Whatever he felt, it wasn't anger. He chewed on his lip. "I don't know how I feel about it, but I'm not angry. Is that enough? For now?"

"Yes," Gray breathed, and Natsu wished he could see more than pain in those dark eyes. "I just-"

"There's nothing you could do that would make me hate you," Natsu whispered, letting go of Gray's hand so he could run his fingers over the dark-haired man's cheek. His fingers drifted over the scar, rough and uneven, and the lines of Gray's mouth hardened. "What happened to you?" Natsu whispered.

"They..." Gray looked down to his hands, to his missing fingers. "Hurt me." He let out a shuddering sigh and shook his head. "I can't...maybe another day. Not today." Natsu made a soft sound and pressed their foreheads together, stomach roiling in anger for what had been done to Gray.

"It's okay," he said softly, moving his hand to comb through the hair at the back of Gray's neck. Gray didn't flinch this time. "Is me...touching you – is that okay?" Gray let out what sounded like a choked sob. "It's okay if it's not. You've...obviously you've been through a lot. It's been a long time, I'm not gonna be ups-"

"It's okay," Gray insisted, shifting closer to Natsu. "Nobody...it's hard. To let people touch me after what...happened." His words were stilted, as if they were being dragged from him. "But you're...you're you." He brushed a hand through Natsu's hair, kissing his forehead. "I just...I'm broken. You deserve better."

"I don't want 'better'," Natsu replied, tipping Gray's head up to meet his gaze. "I want you." Then he leaned forward and kissed Gray.

Natsu let out a soft moan as he pulled Gray closer, tightening fingers in his hair and tilting his head to kiss him deeper. Gods, it was like they'd never stopped. Everything fit, it was right, the sensation filled all the lonely places inside of Natsu that had ached and ached. He bit Gray's lip, drawing a deep groan from the other man, who pushed him back onto the bed and straddled his hips.

"Is this..." Gray stopped for a minute, hovering over Natsu. "We haven't talked..."

"Let's just have tonight," Natsu murmured, bringing his hand up to nudge Gray's jacket from his shoulders. He didn't want to think anymore – about Gray being hurt, Gray being lonely, Gray being with...someone else. All Natsu wanted right now was the feeling of skin on skin to make it all fade away. "We can talk more tomorrow."

"Mm," Gray replied, shrugging off the jacket and leaning down to kiss him again. Natsu sighed against his lips, relishing in the feel of their bodies moving together, their sounds of their heavy breathing and pounding heartbeats. "I missed you," Gray whispered between kisses, leaning on one arm and brushing his fingers through Natsu's hair. _"Vi mankis al mi."_

That language again. Natsu made a note to ask about it tomorrow, but right now all he wanted to think about was the hand in his hair and the feel of Gray underneath his fingertips. He slid his hand under Gray's shirt, fingers trailing up the other man's back, and he stopped short when he felt the lines of thick, uneven scars over Gray's spine.

Gray exhaled shakily, pressing his cheek to Natsu's and kissing him just below his ear. "I've got...lots of scars," he murmured, not resisting when Natsu pushed him up to a sitting position. Natsu ran his fingers along the hem of Gray's shirt and tugged, looking up at him with raised eyebrows. Gray frowned uncertainly.

"It's okay," Natsu said, words floating softly between them. "It's okay. I love all of you."

"It's a lot," Gray warned, voice rough.

"I know," Natsu said, lifting the stump of his right arm to rest on Gray's knee. "You think this was pretty? Erza cut it off with a machete." Gray grimaced. "We've all got scars." Gray closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath, then slowly tugged his shirt over his head.

Natsu had to force himself to not react, biting his cheek to keep from making sounds of dismay at the marks that marred Gray's chest. The scar on his cheek ran down past where his guild mark had been Purged away, and smaller burns and thin white scars criss-crossed his stomach and ribs. Thick marks wrapped around his sides – the raised welts that Natsu had felt on his back. His arms were marred with deep marks and wide swathes of white where skin had been peeled away.

"It's..." Gray swallowed, crossing his arms over his chest self-consciously. Natsu shook his head, pushing himself up on the stump of his right arm and leaning forward. Gray shuddered as Natsu's lips met his stomach.

"You're not broken," Natsu murmured, wrapping his fingers around Gray's hip and rubbing his thumb in slow circles. His lips traced up Gray's ribs, pressing soft kisses to each scar he found. Gray shivered and trembled above him, uncrossing his arms and bringing one of his hands to Natsu's shoulder. "I'm so sorry I couldn't save you."

Natsu grunted with fatigue – he could only hold himself up for so long – and fell back to the bed, Gray following him and placing a hand on either side of his face. He tipped Natsu's neck to the side and bit down just under his ear. Natsu gasped and thrust upward, fingers tightening on Gray's hips.

"It was worth it," Gray murmured, continuing to trail kisses down across Natsu's throat. Natsu moaned, trailing his hand up over the scars on Gray's back. "You made it out. We...we both did, in the end." He brought his lips up across Natsu's cheek and kissed him again, soft and warm, while he reached down and tugged at the bottom of Natsu's shirt.

Natsu sighed contentedly once his shirt was in a pile on the floor and Gray's chest was pressed against his as they kissed. Gods, if they did nothing but kiss all night Natsu would be satisfied - he'd missed this feeling so much.

"I missed you," he whispered between kisses, running his hand up and down Gray's back, bringing it down to rest on his thigh and tugging him closer. "I missed you so much, _frak_ , I'm so happy you're alive."

Gray made a rumbling sound deep in his throat and started kissing Natsu's throat, fingers entwined with Natsu's and pinning his hand to the bed. Little flashes of jealousy flitted through Natsu like pinpricks – did Gray do this with Sting? Did he kiss Rogue's throat, rub himself up against Sting's cock? He pushed the thoughts away, losing himself to the feeling of Gray's lips on his neck.

"You want me to take you?" Gray breathed in his ear, grinding down against him. Natsu moaned, thinking of their room back at the guild, how Gray used to bend him over the bed and fuck him until he couldn't think.

"Yes," he moaned, fisting his fingers in Gray's hair. "Please." Gray growled and began kissing a line down his chest, lips soft and warm. Natsu focused on the sensation, on the sounds Gray was making, on the fingers gripping his hips.

 _I don't want to feel_ , he thought, pushing away images of the stone, his Purge mark, Sting kissing Gray's cheek. _I don't want to feel anymore._

* * *

Natsu woke the next morning, curled up on his side, arm thrown over Gray. Gray was clutching Natsu's hand possessively, and was whimpering softly in his sleep.

"Shhhh," Natsu whispered, placing a soft kiss on the back of Gray's neck. He quieted a little, burrowing his face into the pillow. Natsu disentangled their hands and moved to the other side, studying Gray's face.

He looked less haunted when he slept. His eyebrows were still furrowed with whatever dream he was having, and they remained that way, even when Natsu drew his fingers across his face. Small scars decorated his cheek and a thin, silvery line bisected his lower lip. Natsu ran his hand down Gray's neck and shoulder, sighing sadly at the ragged scar.

Standing slowly, he grabbed Gray's shirt from the ground – it smelled like him, and Natsu felt the need to keep him close today. He took one last look at Gray's sleeping form before heading out the door and into the Acropolis.

The main area with the kitchen wasn't difficult to find. Several other people were milling about, including Laxus and Bickslow. They were playing a somber game of cards at a table in the corner, and they both nodded to Natsu when he came in. He nodded absently, then grabbed a cup of coffee from the machine on the counter and headed out onto the terrace.

The city was still dark, but tendrils of light were pushing their way through the harbor and across the streets near the docks, banishing the night to further corners and back alleys. Fires still burned in some districts – the guilds hadn't had enough manpower to deal with them, and had hoped the locals would do something about it themselves.

There were no chairs out here – it was clearly only meant for decoration – but Natsu sat down with his back to the wall and gazed across the water. Chunks of the Purging stone were probably in there – sunk to the sea floor with all the other debris. Natsu sighed, sipping at the bitter coffee and rubbing his eyes.

"Do you mind if I sit?"

Natsu looked up to see Rogue standing above him, dressed in a pair of loose-fitting pants and a leather jacket over a soft, flowy top. He looked hesitant, but his eyes were kind, and Natsu nodded, scooting over to make room. Rogue settled in next to him, close but not touching.

They sat in silence for a while, watching the waves crash into the shore and listening to the sound of gulls fighting for scraps. The courtyard of the Acropolis was still littered with bodies – other-Natsu had been given the task of cremating them later today. Right now it was only another reminder of their fight – and their failure.

"I'm sorry." Rogue's voice was soft. Natsu sighed, rubbing his face and tipping his head back against the wall.

"You don't...it's not like that." He sipped at his coffee. "How could you have known we'd bring down the Wall?" Rogue was silent for a moment, playing with a silver bangle on his wrist. Natsu thought of other-Natsu's comment about Rogue being a prostitute.

"He was..." Rogue paused. "It was like there was nothing left of him." Natsu stilled, his curiosity itching to understand what had happened. "They broke him, and Erza...she got him out, but we – Sting and I – we had to put him back together." Rogue glanced over at Natsu, who didn't return his look. "He wouldn't eat, we couldn't touch him. He bit Erza."

"He what?" Natsu frowned, turning to face Rogue.

"He was hallucinating. Or, he thought he was." Rogue pulled his long braid over his shoulder and began to play with it, picking pieces out of the plait. "They drugged him. He thought we weren't real, and we just...he was hurting himself, it was infected, he hadn't eaten in a week. We didn't know what to do." He squeezed his eyes shut, pulling his knees to his chest.

"I'm...I didn't know," Natsu said quietly. "I saw the – the scars. He showed me. But we hadn't talked...he said he couldn't."

"He'll tell you," Rogue said quietly. "I only know parts. He didn't want to talk about all of it – he hid that away." The wind picked up and blew his dark hair away from his face. He looked so tired, Natsu thought. "We drugged him, to clean his wounds. He was better. First thing he asked about was you."

"Frak," Natsu cursed, rubbing his eyes. "I wish...I didn't know. If I'd known, I..."

"We know," Rogue said gently. "We just..." He sighed. "I was the first person who touched him without getting attacked." Natsu groaned, trying to picture Gray hurting someone. How much pain had he been in? "He still won't touch anyone else. The Otherworlders, a bit – he warmed up to them somewhat. But it's too much for him. And he let us, and it became...it just grew into something more."

Natsu closed his eyes, willing the ache in his chest to go away. Why hadn't it been him? Why couldn't he have been here? He could have helped Gray, stroked his hair and held him and been the one to save him. Instead it was _them_ , and all he could feel was the ugly clutch of jealousy. He shook his head, trying to banish the unwanted feeling, and was startled to hear a sniff. When he turned to Rogue, the dark-haired man was crying, face resting on his knees.

"You love him." Natsu's voice was soft and Rogue's reaction was almost immediate – he nodded fiercely and wiped his eyes.

"Yes," he said, conviction behind the word. "Yes. I'd give my life for him. _Li estas en mia koro,_ it's...he is a piece of my heart." Rogue exhaled, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, I know that's not...you don't want to hear that. But it's true, and Sting does too, and I can't stop."

Natsu felt his own tears coming, hot and sharp and unexpected. Part of him was furious – how _dare_ Rogue lay claim to Gray, how _dare_ Rogue love him and hold him and _make_ love to him. But Natsu hadn't been here. In their minds, he'd been gone – no better than dead.

"I don't..." he took a breath, wiping the tears from his face. "I don't want to be mad. I'm trying to understand." Rogue nodded, saying nothing. "I want him to be happy. But...the thought of him. With you." He sighed. "It hurts. And I can't be...with...with all of you. I care about you, and Sting, and you're my – you're my friends, but I can't..."

"It's okay," Rogue said, stretching his legs out in front of him. "Just because we love him doesn't mean we're entitled to him." He stared across the water, shaking his head. "If he's...if he chooses to be with only you, those feelings, they'll still be there. But we would never go behind your back."

 _Frak_ , Natsu thought. Why were they being so reasonable? It made the anger and jealousy and possessiveness in his heart feel so wrong, so unfair. He growled and ran his hand through his hair, burying his head between his knees.

"Yesterday..." he sighed. "It hurt, but it was easier because I knew where we stood. He was gone and I mourned him." He played with his ring, feeling tears welling up again. "And now he's alive, and I'm so happy, but he's so different, and..." He shook his head. "I missed so much. And he loves someone else."

"He still loves you," Rogue insisted. "He talks about you every day. That ring – he wears it all the time." He leaned forward, resting his chin on his folded arms. "I just want him to be happy."

Natsu was crying openly now – hot tears that spilled down his cheeks and caught in his throat. Rogue made a quiet sound and reached out hesitantly, offering his hand. Natsu hesitated for a second and then accepted the gesture, letting Rogue pull him under his arm.

"I'm sorry," Rogue murmured, looking out over the ocean. Natsu shuddered under his arm, shoulders shaking with sobs. The dark-haired man reached up and stroked Natsu's hair, touch kind and gentle. How could Natsu be angry with someone who just wanted to take care of Gray? He scrubbed at his eyes, turning to look at his friend.

"Don't be sorry," he whispered. "It's not your fault. I just don't know what to do."


	12. Chapter 12

TW for drug use, self-harm (cutting), suicidal thoughts, graphic violence

* * *

 _"At least die with some dignity."_

 _Edo-Natsu's words hung in the air, and before Natsu could look away the trigger was pulled. Faust's head snapped back, eyes wide in terror as a spray of blood drenched the floor and wall behind him. Faus t's body crumpled , head hitting the ground with a sickening crack._

 _There was so much blood. Joekel's neck was still pumping it out, deep lines from where Rogue had taken his life, and the puddle spread across the floor to mingle with Faust's blood. Edo-Natsu turned around, looking at Gray with sadness and anger in his eyes._

 _The air tasted like copper and Natsu gagged, unable to take his eyes off Faust's unseeing corpse, off Joekel's still-twitching body, off the hard way that Sting looked at Edo-Natsu, and-_

Natsu gasped, snapping out of sleep and rolling over on his side, leaning over the edge of the bed to throw up.

"Fuck," he whispered, retching but bringing up nothing but bile that burned the back of his throat. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck."_ Tears forced themselves from his eyes and he couldn't hold them back, covering his mouth to muffle the sob that ripped from his throat.

He looked over at Gray's sleeping form – his shirt was off and he was lying on his side, hand out where Natsu had been holding it. Natsu slid out of bed quietly, not wanting to wake him. He grabbed his shirt and tugged it on – it was still stained with blood and he gagged at the smell, but he had nothing else to wear.

The door _pinged_ as he opened it and he winced, looking back to Gray, but his partner didn't wake. Natsu sighed in relief and let the door slide shut behind him, then looked both ways down the hall. It seemed like it was late morning – he could hear people moving around in the common area and he headed the other way, away from the voices.

Natsu's head pounded and his throat ached from trying to vomit. He rubbed his eyes as he wandered aimlessly, feeling dull and listless. His chest hurt, everything was heavy. All he could see, over and over, was Faust's head snapping back, the spray of blood, the-

"-you okay?" Natsu blinked, looking up to see Edo-Gray standing in front of him, brow furrowed in concern. "What are you doing out here?"

"Out... where?" Natsu asked, blinking and looking around. He'd ended up in a wide hallway with several open doorways, one of which Edo-Gray was standing in, looking puzzled. Behind him were several panels that were blinking and beeping.

"It's the guard station," Edo-Gray explained, looking back into the room. "For the cells. Prisoners."

"Oh." Natsu licked his lips. "Were there... prisoners?"

"Mm." Edo-Gray brushed his bangs out of his face. "Erza freed them. Too late though, they'd all been Purged."

Natsu sighed. "I'm sorry."

Edo-Gray shrugged, then stepped out into the hallway, letting the door to the guard's office slide closed behind him. He crossed his arms over his chest – he wasn't wearing a jacket, just a dark shirt that still had a hole in it from getting stabbed. It looked like he'd washed his face, but there were still traces of blood on his arms and neck.

"Hungry?" Edo-Gray asked, nodding back the way Natsu had come. Natsu shook his head, wrapping his arms around his stomach. Edo-Gray sighed. "Didn't sleep well?"

"No," Natsu whispered. His stomach was both begging him to eat, and warning him not to. If there had been anything in there, he would have thrown it up already. "I can't..."

Silence hung in the air between them, then Edo-Gray sighed.

"First time I saw someone get shot, I was younger than you," he said softly, gesturing for Natsu to follow him away from the guard room. "'bout fifteen or sixteen. I was on a patrol. Things weren't as chancy then, we still had lots of mages."

They rounded a corner and came to another door which led out into a wide courtyard. It was fenced in on each side by a bluish forcefield, and a multitude of plants grew inside. Natsu sighed, taking a deep breath. Everything smelled like earth. Like life.

"We came up against Magehunters – hadn't been expecting 'em, they didn't usually hit that area." Edo-Gray rubbed his arm absently. "One of 'em grabbed me and then – just... he let go. Blood everywhere, on me, on him. Laxus saved my ass, shot the whoreson right between the eyes."

Natsu winced, reaching out and touching the leaves of one of the plants around him. The flower petals were soft under his fingers and he focused on the sensation, closing his eyes.

"I couldn't sleep for a while after that," Edo-Gray continued. "But if he hadn't done it, I'd be dead. Just like... your Gray. At the warehouse, he saved my-"

"I don't want to talk about it," Natsu whispered. He'd been nearly unconscious then and Gray had told him later, in the dark of their room at the hideout while he shook and cried. "I don't want... I don't want any of this."

"I know," Edo-Gray said, sitting down on a bench. "None of us do."

Natsu felt the tears coming again and he didn't bother to fight it this time. He slumped down on the ground, leaning against the trunk of one of the trees and burying his head in his arms as he cried. When he felt a gentle touch on his hand, he looked up, startled. Edo-Gray had reached out tentatively and was brushing his fingers against Natsu's.

"I'm sorry," Edo-Gray said. "Nothing went right." He pulled back and looked at his hands, and Natsu knew he was thinking of his magic - the powers he would never get back.

"Everything's fucked," Natsu whispered, and Edo-Gray nodded in agreement. "I just want to go home."

* * *

Natsu eventually let Edo-Gray lead him back to the kitchen, where Gray was seated at the table, poking at a bowl of processed nutrisoy. He stood up as they came in, giving Natsu a concerned look and wrapping an arm around him when Natsu leaned heavily against him.

"How's your stomach?" he asked Edo-Gray, gesturing at the bloody stain on his shirt. Edo-Gray shrugged, poking the area.

"Better," he said, settling down at the table. "Wendy looked at it again. I'll live." He didn't look thrilled at the prospect.

Natsu settled down at the table between the two Grays, slumping down and pillowing his head on his arms. Gray stroked his hair gently, sitting in silence until Erza pulled out a chair and sat down next to him.

"You two okay?" she asked, looking at Natsu with concern.

"No," Natsu mumbled into his sleeves. He peeked up at Erza, eyes red and swollen. "What... what do we do now?"

She sighed. "We need to take the city." She leaned forward on her elbows, looking between the three of them. "Sting's helping me connect to the system so we can broadcast a holo, but in the meantime we need to clean up the square." She chewed her lip. "Natsu? Is that... is it too much?"

"Yeah," Natsu choked out. "But I'll do it anyway."

"What about Undertown?" Edo-Gray asked, glancing back to the platform that extended from the end of the room out into the air. Gray followed his gaze to see Edo-Natsu sitting next to Rogue, who had an arm around him.

"Nothing we can do about it for now," Erza said, flexing her fingers. Her forehead was bandaged and her face was still dirty from the fight. "We don't have magic, so it can stay Hollow's problem for now."

The chair across from Gray squeaked as it dragged across the floor and Sting slumped down into it, rubbing his face. He looked like he hadn't slept – his face was drawn and pale, and a dirty bandage covered his neck, just below his ear. Gray noticed that Edo-Gray wouldn't look up at him.

"Think I got it," Sting mumbled, handing Erza a datapad. "Should be connected to the whole network – out there too, not just in Imperium." He yawned. "You really think this is the best idea?"

"Out of all of us, you're the best choice," Erza said, tapping the datapad a few times and dragging up a recording feature. "You won't be alone. Now go wash up. There's a group scrub room down the hall, and there's probably a uniform or two in the lockers. You'll need to look neat for this."

"For what?" Gray asked, looking between Sting and Erza.

"Sting's going to be the interim head of state until we can hold elections," Erza explained. "We met last night and it was unanimous." Sting's face shifted, but he didn't disagree with Erza. "His plan is what took down the Wall – the people on our side look up to him. The rest... well, we'll see what happens."

"The glitterkids aren't gonna be happy about it," Sting grumbled. "Who knows what the rest of the state's gonna think." He stood up, then looked at Natsu and Gray sympathetically. "I'm sorry the stone didn't work."

Natsu grunted, keeping his face buried in his arms. Gray sighed, giving Sting a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"We'll figure it out," Gray said, wishing he believed his own words. Maybe if he said it often enough, it would be true.

* * *

Natsu didn't say anything as they made their way down the steps of Acropolis, weaving around chunks of debris and the bodies of dead Magehunters. As they passed them, Natsu held out his hand and let searing flames consume the corpses, leaving nothing but piles of ash in his wake.

"Natsu." Gray reached out to grab Natsu's sleeve but Natsu jerked away, raising his hand at another body. The scent of burning flesh filled the air, but Natsu's face didn't change. Gray's stomach twisted - this was exactly what he'd been afraid of when he'd woken up in an empty bed. "C'mon, sweetheart. Talk to me."

"Nothing to talk about," Natsu said dully. He didn't look up from the ground as he continued moving down the stairs. They were in the entrance hall now – the ceiling had mostly collapsed from the explosion, sharp chunks of rubble embedded in the walls.

"Natsu..."

"What the hell do you want me to say?" Natsu rounded on Gray, eyes red and swollen, jaw set in anger. Gray's heart ached at the sight – all he wanted to do was pull Natsu into his arms, but when he stepped forward, Natsu backed away. "There's nothing to say. We're stuck in this fucking nightmare with no way out."

"I know, I-"

"I want to go home," Natsu said, turning and blasting flames at yet another corpse. "I'm here fucking burning bodies and I want to go _home_. I miss the guild. I miss my friends. I'm sick of this goddamn place and its drugs and guns and-"

"Natsu!" Gray stepped forward, grabbing Natsu's shoulders and holding tight as Natsu struggled to pull away. "Breathe."

"Fuck you!" Natsu shouted, breaking out of Gray's hold and shoving him backward. Gray wanted to cry – this wasn't Natsu, wasn't his sweet, brave partner who always had a smile on his face. This Natsu looked like a stranger.

"Natsu, don't shut me out." Gray tried to move forward again and Natsu shook his head, taking a step back. "Please, we can do this together, we can figure out how to get-"

"Shut UP!" Natsu shouted, flames bursting from his fists and licking up his arms. "You don't know, you can't- we can't-"

"We can, we just-"

Gray didn't have time to finish his sentence before a ball of fire hit him, knocking him backward into a pile of rubble. He'd managed to pull up an ice shield out of instinct, but the blast had been strong and his forearms prickled from the heat.

"What the hell?" Gray pushed himself to his feet and stared at Natsu, who was breathing heavily and wreathed in flame. "I don't wanna fight yo-"

"I DO!" Natsu shouted, charging at Gray and swinging wildly. The punch was sloppy and Gray avoided it easily, but he could feel the heat of Natsu's flames against his skin.

"Natsu, please." Gray held his hands out, but as soon as he looked at Natsu, he knew he couldn't avoid this fight. Natsu's eyes were pools of anger and grief, and his face was twisted into something that Gray barely recognized.

"Stop fucking around!" Natsu snarled, shooting a jet of flame that caught Gray on the shoulder. Gray hissed in pain, stumbling backward.

 _He needs this_ , Gray thought as he brought up his hands, frost trailing down his arms. He dropped into a defensive stance and stared sadly at Natsu. _He needs to feel this instead of thinking._

"Fine," he growled. If Natsu needed a fight, Gray would give him one, even if it was the last thing he wanted. "C'mon," Gray taunted, feeling sick. "You can do better than that."

Natsu shouted and charged at Gray, missing him and instead taking an ice-coated fist to the face. He stumbled backward, blood pouring from his nose, and for a moment Gray thought it was over. Then Nastu growled and rushed him again.

After that, Natsu was merciless. His attacks were still uncoordinated but he held nothing back, hitting Gray with everything he had. Gray defended himself, landing a few hits, but mostly trying to keep himself alive and unburned.

"Fight BACK!" Natsu shouted, barreling into Gray's space and taking him by surprise. A fist hit Gray's cheek and he shook his head in surprise. "Hit me, goddamnit!"

Gray snarled and slammed his elbow into Natsu's throat, knocking him backward. A sheet of ice appeared beneath Natsu's feet and he slipped, falling onto his back and hitting his head on the ground with a loud _crack_.

"Shit." Gray dropped to his knees beside Natsu, touching his cheek. "Fuck, Natsu, I'm-"

Natsu grabbed Gray's jacket, pulling him down and flipping him so that Natsu was straddling Gray's hips. He pinned Gray's hands under his knees and leaned over him, breathing heavily. His eyes were wild and filled with tears, and his nose was still dripping blood.

"Do it," Gray said softly, relaxing under Natsu's grip. He couldn't fight anymore. It was too much. "If it'll make you feel better, hit me." Natsu's fist drew back but he hesitated, his whole body shaking. "I can take it, you know I can," Gray said, never looking away. "I can take it, if that's what you need."

And then Natsu was falling on Gray, hard, angry sobs wracking his body. "I'm sorry," he whispered brokenly, shaking as Gray pushed himself up and wrapped his arms around Nastu, pulling him close. "Fuck, I'm sorry, I-"

"Shhh," Gray said softly, running a hand up and down Natsu's back and kissing his forehead. "I know." Natsu buried his face in Gray's jacket and Gray held him tighter. "We'll figure it out."

"What if we can't?" Natsu's skin was hot and Gray pressed a thin sheet of ice over the back of his neck, like he used to do on long train rides when Natsu was nauseous. "What if we can't go home?"

Gray made a soft sound, pressing kisses to Natsu's forehead and temples as he ran his fingers over Natsu's back. He didn't say anything – what could he say? He let frost creep out from him and soon they were surrounded by ice; thick walls protecting the two of them while Natsu cried.

"You're safe in here," Gray murmured. "You're safe with me."

* * *

Gray stood from the kitchen table, wincing at the dull pain in his side. Everything ached today. Erza looked up at him in concern, her face drawn and pale.

"How are you doing?" she asked gently. Gray sighed, rubbing his face.

"Terrible," he said. Last night with Natsu had felt hopeful – the touching, soft kisses along Gray's scars, the feeling of being with Natsu after all these years. But it was day now, and everything was too much. The night had hidden Gray's secrets, his filth, his lies, but now the sun cast light in all his dark places. "Is there a... private scrub room?"

"Gray..." Erza's voice was gentle and he flinched away from it, taking a step backward. She was too close. Everyone was too close. Gray touched the front pocket of his pants and exhaled when he felt the pill container. He still had some left.

"'m fine," he said, not meeting Erza's eyes. He was the farthest thing from fine. "Just need to wash up."

Erza sighed, then nodded her head down the hallway. "Joekel's quarters has a big one. There's wear in there too – might be a bit big, but better than that." She gestured to his torn, blood-spattered shirt and he shrugged.

"Dankon." His skin felt too tight. He tried to force himself to keep his gaze forward, but his body disobeyed and turned to look at Natsu and Rogue. They were facing each other, Rogue's hand on Natsu's arms, talking quietly in the thin sunlight. It was clear that Natsu had been crying. Gray felt like throwing up.

"It'll work out." Erza's voice came from directly behind him and Gray's heart leapt in fear. He snarled, whipping around and reaching for his gun before realizing what he was doing. He quickly dropped his defensive stance and let out a shaky breath.

"Sorry," he said, rubbing his eyes. "I gotta..."

Gray moved past Erza, careful not to touch her, then all but ran down the hallway toward Joekel's quarters. The door slid open and he placed his hand on the scanpad, locking it with a few quick taps. His breath was coming in quick, short bursts, leaving him feeling like he was drowning. Everything in his mind was too much, too loud.

 _...marry me when all this is over..._

 _you have to go, love you so much..._

 _please, please stop..._

 _won't tell, never tell, can't tell but pain and blood, can't breathe..._

 _everything hurts and nothing is real..._

 _"I'd never hurt you"..._

 _gentle fingers, doesn't hurt..._

 _"you're never going to see sunlight again"..._

 _gun in hands, arms shaking..._

 _gentle hands on hips and back, lips pressed to lips..._

 _"on your knees"..._

 _choking on water, pulling down, down, down..._

"STOP!" Gray slammed his hands against the door, then grabbed the dagger from the strap around his thigh and brought it down on his arm. The pain was sharp and he gasped, watching the blood well up and spill down to his fingers, hot and thick. He sobbed and gripped the handle of the dagger tightly, wanting to bring the blade to his skin again. But Natsu was here now, Natsu would see, Natsu would know how dirty and tainted Gray was.

Gray threw the dagger across the room, dropping to the ground and screaming into his folded arms. He pressed a hand to the bleeding wound, gasping at the pain and shaking his head. This wasn't how it were supposed to be. Everything was wrong, everything hurt, and the ache in his chest was overwhelming.

He looked over at the dagger again, wondering how long it would take to die if he used it in the right place.

He imagined the look on Natsu's face if he found Gray's body on the floor.

He couldn't do that.

He couldn't do this.

Shaking hands dug the pill container from his pocket and Gray popped down the last of the Sin dry, coughing as it stuck in his throat. A sob broke out of his chest and he realized he was crying, tears dripping from his cheeks to his arms.

Gray tugged his shirt off, wrapping it around the wound on his arm to stop the bleeding. He pushed himself to his feet, staggering over to the bed and collapsing on it. He choked out another ragged sob as he curled up and pressed his face into the mattress, waiting for the Sin to take over, for everything to be dull and the world to be something he could live in again.

* * *

A _ping_ at the door brought Gray out of his half-sleep and he blinked slowly, the world resolving into something soft and manageable. He sighed, rolling onto his back and glancing down at his arm. The shirt wrapped around it was wet.

"Gray?" That was Natsu's voice. Gray frowned. He wanted to hear Natsu's voice, but... the blood. Right.

"Jus'... sec," he slurred, pushing himself up. The blanket under him was stained as well, and there was a puddle of red in front of the door.

"Gray, are you okay?"

"'m fine..." Gray pushed himself up and dizziness overtook him. He fell to his knees, bracing himself against the floor. The room was swaying and the walls were bleeding, deep red drip-drip-dripping to the ground. Drek. It was supposed to be soft. Not like this.

"Sting! Help!" Footsteps pounded down the hallway and voices spoke hurriedly outside the door, but the sounds were drowned out by the sound of Gray's heart throbbing in his ears.

The door slid open and Gray collapsed back against the bed. He stared up at the ceiling that was dotted with stars. He wondered if they would burn his hands if he touched them.

"Gray!" There was Natsu, blocking the stars. But he was a star, a star with red cheeks and red eyes and words spilling from his lips. "What the hell's wrong with him?" Hands touched Gray's face and left burning trails down to his neck. Gray whimpered, trying to pull away. "Gray, look at me."

"It's Sin." There was Sting's voice, Sting's fingers on his neck, feeling for his pulse.

"St'p," Gray mumbled, blinking slowly. He couldn't move his fingers. A muted throb pulsed in his left arm. "'m fine."

"You're not fine, you idiot!" Gray felt pressure on his arm as Natsu yelled at him. "Frak, he's still bleeding. What's Sin?" Natsu's voice was shaking, scraping against Gray like nails.

"It's a... a 'pharm. From Undertown." Sting's voice was sad and Gray tried to look up at him, frowning through the haze around everything. "It... mutes things. Makes you see stuff. He..."

"He what? Tell me the truth," Natsu pleaded. "I don't..."

"He takes it a lot," Sting whispered. "It's... we're pretty sure he's addicted. It's not usually this bad, though – it might be the blood loss." Sting tapped Gray's cheek gently. _"Karulino,_ look at me. Did you take anything else?"

Gray shook his head, groaning. "'s just Sin," he said, pulling away from Sting and trying to tug his arm out of Natsu's grasp. "Don' touch me." He squeezed his eyes shut, squirming away from whatever was crawling across his skin. "Don' touch. Just wanna..."

"Gray, you have to let us look at your arm." Sting's voice was gentle. "You've lost a lot of blood." Gray shook his head, whimpering as another wave of dizziness overtook him.

"Gray." Natsu's voice was soft and Gray opened his eyes, frowning. Natsu was glowing blue, sparks dancing in his hair. "Look at me, love."

 _"Mi ne povas."_ Natsu looked up at Sting helplessly, confusion written on his face. Gray could see tears in both men's eyes and his chest hurt, everything hurt, he just wanted it to stop. _"Ne ploru. Mi bedaŭras."_

"I don't understand," Natsu whispered, shifting closer to Gray.

"He's telling you not to cry," Sting said sadly. "And that he's sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Natsu whispered, brushing his fingers over Gray's cheek. Gray flinched, feeling like he was going to be sick. "You're gonna be okay."

Gray shook his head vehemently. _"Mi ne estas bona,"_ he argued. _"Mi estas senutila, senvalora, ne bona, rompita."_

"You're not broken," Sting said gently. "C'mere." He slid his arms under Gray's head and legs, ignoring Gray's weak protests. The world spun as Sting brought Gray back to the bed, laying him down, away from the bloody stain. Sting pulled away the shirt from the wound and hissed sympathetically. "That's deep."

He wrapped the shirt back around Gray's arm and Gray groaned at the spike of pain. Sting placed Gray's other hand over the bandage and squeezed as Natsu sat down beside Gray on the bed, reaching out and stroking his hair. "I'm not mad," Natsu said softly. "It's okay."

"I'm gonna go grab the medkit," Sting said. He disappeared from Gray's view, then the door pinged open and his footsteps took off down the hall.

"Talk to me," Natsu pleaded, wiping tears from his face. "I don't know what to do."

Gray blinked slowly, looking up at Natsu. Fingers ran through his hair and he tried not to flinch, tried to breathe around the hurt in his chest.

"...th'ght I was dead." His words ran together and he kept his eyes on Natsu's face. The stars on the ceiling floated behind Natsu's head, sparking into a million different colors. Natsu touched Gray's cheek gently. "But you w'r safe, 'an they..." Gray's throat hurt so badly.

"I'm sorry," Natsu whispered, moving his hand back to Gray's hair. Gray allowed the touch, focusing on it instead of the crawling sensation on his legs and arms. "I would have come." Natsu's voice broke and he took a shaky breath. "I wanted... I woke up without you. And then the holo, and you, I w-watched you die, and... if I had known, I would have come, I would have burned this place to the ground. I'm so sorry."

"'s not y'r fault," Gray mumbled. He felt cold creeping up his fingers and he whimpered. "'s fake. He – Revik – kept me... two y'rs." Gray tried not to look at Natsu's distraught face. "Was bad. Hurt, always."

Maybe if he let it out, if he told Natsu, there would be an end. Natsu would leave, and Gray would be allowed to die.

"Cut me... took..." He looked down at his hands, his missing fingers. "D-drowned, all... bad, couldn't b-breathe..."

"Gray," Natsu breathed, choking on a sob. "I d-didn't-"

"N'bdy did," Gray insisted. "'s not your fault. Just... can't, not, not th' same now."

"I love you," Natsu whispered, leaning down and kissing Gray's forehead. "Doesn't matter what happened. I don't care about the scars, or if you're with them, or if you take 'pharms to get by. Nothing you do could make me stop loving you."

Gray shook his head. It didn't make sense. How could Natsu care? Gray was broken and dirty and didn't deserve this love. It hurt, a deep ache that made the pain in his arm feel like nothing.

"I want to die," he whispered.

There was a long silence, then Natsu lay down next to Gray, shifting on the stump of his right arm. He didn't say anything, just kept running his hand through Gray's hair as he pressed their foreheads together.

After several minutes, Natsu moved his hand down to Gray's shoulder. "Can I touch you here?" he asked. Gray let out a sob and curled up tighter. He nodded, trying not to flinch when Natsu's hand ran down his arm.

"I can't imagine what you're feeling," Natsu said, voice breaking. "But I already thought you were dead once, and it hurt more than anything in the world."

Gray couldn't stop the soft whine that escaped his throat. He had hurt Natsu. He was still hurting Natsu. All he did was hurt himself and everyone else.

"I know it's hard," Natsu said, kissing Gray's forehead. "I know it feels like you can't do this, but you can. You're strong and brave and I love you even when you hurt yourself. Even when you want to – to die." He curled up and wrapped his hand around the back of Gray's neck, chest shaking with barely held-in sobs. "And I'll love you if you stay with them."

Gray felt something break inside him and he leaned forward, grabbing Natsu's shirt and pressing his face to Natsu's chest. The tears flowed freely now, and his shoulders shook as he let Natsu wrap his arm around Gray and kiss his hair.

"It's okay," Natsu whispered, stroking Gray's back. "You can do this. You're strong. I love you."

* * *

After Sting bandaged up Gray's arm, he gave him a pain patch that dragged Gray quickly into unconsciousness. Natsu sat beside Gray, feeling like a hollowed-out version of himself. Sting settled down hesitantly at the end of the bed, near Gray's feet but not touching him.

"I wish I could have killed him," Natsu whispered, clutching Gray's hand tightly.

"Who?"

"The monster who did this." Natsu let go of Gray's hand and ran his fingers over the scar that ran down Gray's face, his jaw set in anger. "I want to... gods, I wanna hurt something." He swallowed heavily, leaning back against the headboard. He felt unreal. Was it just a day ago when he'd been sitting on the roof of the guild, watching the Wall come down?

Everything felt fuzzy.

"You should sleep," Sting said gently, and Natsu bristled.

"Don't tell me what to do," he snapped. As soon as the words left his mouth, his face drew into an expression of regret. "Frak, I'm sorry."

"You have every right to be mad at me," Sting said, shaking his head. He rubbed his face with both hands. "It's all..."

"A nightmare," Natsu whispered. "I wish... I don't want it to be real. I wanna wake up, this isn't... it's not..." He growled in frustration. "I wanted him back, but not like this."

"Nats-"

"That's not what I meant, _frak_ , I can't even..." Natsu squeezed his eyes shut. "I love him, and it's not... it's just... he's in so much pain." He opened his eyes and looked at Sting. "Is it me?"

"No." Sting looked like he was going to reach out and touch Gray, but he kept his hands in his lap. "He's... since we got him back, he hasn't been the same. It's... what Revik did to him, it broke him. He's his mess of... of nightmares, and 'pharms, and fighting, and drink, and we... I thought we were helping, he needed comfort and we tried... but maybe it wasn't-"

"Sting." Natsu's voice was soft. "You did what you could."

Sting let out a mirthless laugh. "Didn't do any good," he whispered. "Undertown's a hellhole. Just filth and corruption and everyone getting hurt." Natsu thought of Rogue, with bruises on his wrists and angry eyes. Tears stained Sting's cheeks and Nastu wished they could do something other than cry.

"He's alive," Natsu insisted. "He's... he's not good right now, but he hasn't... killed himself. Because of you guys. You kept him alive, and that's..."

A silence descended on them, broken only by Natsu's sniffling. Sting sighed, pushing himself up and packing up the medkit.

"I'd better go wash up," he said softly. "Here's another 'derm for the pain." He handed the patch to Natsu, then gave him a sad look. "You should go," he said. "Take him away from here. Go somewhere he can't get at the 'pharms, where he can get better. He needs you."

"He needs you, too," Natsu whispered, but Sting was already walking away, door closing behind him and leaving Natsu in silence.

* * *

Gray woke with Natsu wrapped around him. Both the Sin and the painkillers were out of his system and his arm throbbed. His head was pounding, and when he rolled away from Natsu he found that the rest of his body ached as well.

Gray stared at the bloodstain on the end of the bed, then down at the bandage on his arm. What had he been thinking? He pulled the empty pill container from his pocket, then tossed it across the room. Even if he wanted to get hexed, he couldn't anymore. Not like they'd be going back to Undertown anytime soon.

He pushed himself up off the bed and looked back at Natsu, who was sleeping peacefully, pink hair falling in his eyes. Gray's chest ached – Natsu deserved better. So why did he stay?

Gray rummaged around in the cupboards for a clean shirt, then slipped out of the room before Natsu could wake. Sting was just down the hallway and froze when he saw Gray, whose chest tightened with regret and shame. Gray turned and ran the opposite direction before Sting could say anything, not stopping until he lost himself in the maze of Acropolis.

After that, things were too busy for anyone to force Gray to talk about his feelings. He avoided Natsu's gaze when they were in the same room, and made excuses to stay away from Sting and Rogue whenever possible. He barely slept, and when he did it was locked in the guard room with his back against the door.

"... interim government will remain until a suitable electoral system can be set in place." Sting's voice was tinny through the speakers of the datapad, but even Gray had to admit that the words were inspiring. Sting cut an impressive figure, standing on the same balcony where Gray's execution had been faked. A haircut and some clean clothes had done wonders for him, and Gray barely recognized the one-eyed deck jockey from Undertown.

"Emergency relief is already being provided to Louen and Sycca," Sting continued. He wore a white jacket with a bright orange symbol emblazoned over his left breast. A phoenix. The new symbol of hope, rising from the ashes of a fallen empire. "We are asking for volunteers to help deliver relief packages, and are accepting donations of wear, prepacks and medkits."

Gray sighed, rubbing his eyes and setting down the datapad. He knew the two Otherworlders were out there now, traveling through Imperium as one of the many faces of the Resistance. His Natsu was probably out there too, bringing people in with his friendly smile, and Rogue was Sting's right-hand man, responsible for the more bureaucratic parts of the job.

Everyone was helping except Gray.

He rubbed his face, looking down at his arm where the deep cut had already begun to scar, a whitish pink line against the million other marks on his skin. What could he do? How did he fit here, in this world? Undertown had been easy – everyone was hard and angry and kept to themselves. But here... here people stared, and whispered, and avoided Gray. Here, the noises were too loud and everything was too bright and too much.

The datapad beeped as the transmission ended and Gray sighed, pushing himself to his feet and heading out of guard room. The hallway was empty and he made his way back to Joekel's room, hesitating outside the door. Gray hadn't been back here since he'd run away, but he desperately needed a shower and wasn't about to use the public scrub room.

The door was unlocked and he peeked inside, sighing in relief when he saw that Natsu wasn't there. A small pile of clothes was stacked on one of the beds, but other than that the room was as bare as it had been when Gray had first come here.

Gray headed into the scrub room that was attached to the suite. It was fancier than anything he'd seen before, with flash tech walls and a sprayer that actually produced hot water. Gray tugged off his clothing and threw everything in the recycler. He carefully lifted the chain from around his neck and set it on the counter, then stepped under the water and sighed.

The heat was soothing and Gray sighed with relief as he tipped his head up, scrubbing at the dirt that coated his skin. The water that ran down to the floor of the shower was dark and grimy, and Gray felt a bit lighter as he continued to rinse himself off.

"Gray?" He startled and opened his eyes, wiping water from his face. Natsu was standing in the doorway to the bathroom, looking at Gray with concern. "H-hey." He held Gray's gaze for a second, then dropped his eyes to the floor.

Gray's heart ached at the expression on Natsu's face and he pushed the door to the shower open, reaching out his hand. "C'mere," he said softly. Natsu looked hesitant, so he added, "please."

Natsu nodded, shrugging off his jacket and letting Gray help him tug his shirt over what was left of his arm. He kicked off his pants and stepped under the water with Gray. Natsu hummed contentedly, leaning his head forward against Gray's shoulder. He shivered as Gray ran his hands up to the back of Natsu's neck, then started to tug gently at the knots in his hair.

Without speaking, Gray reached over to the ledge of the shower and grabbed a fancy-looking bottle of what he assumed was soap. He lathered some in Natsu's hair – it smelled like fruit – and began to comb out the tangles with his fingers. Natsu sighed, pressing against Gray and wrapping his arm around Gray's waist.

"How're you feeling?" Natsu asked after a minute. Gray finished rinsing Natsu's hair, then began to run his fingers down Natsu's back, tracing his spine with gentle fingers. He sighed.

"Not great," he admitted, pressing his face into Natsu's hair. "I'm sorry. I didn't know wh-"

"No more being sorry, okay?" Natsu tipped his head up and caught Gray's lips in a kiss. Gray let out a soft sound, returning the kiss and bringing a hand up to run his fingers along Natsu's cheek. "We're both sorry. Apologizing isn't gonna fix anything."

Natsu held out his hand for Gray to pour the soap into his palm, then ran his hand over Gray's scalp, fingers combing gently through the shorter hair on the sides. It had been shaved before, when the Otherworlders had shown up, but Gray had let it grow out a bit over the past few months.

Gray closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the touch, feeling the hot water drain the ache from his body. Natsu wasn't going to hurt him. This felt good – Natsu's fingers in his hair, then trailing down to his jaw, then tracing the outline of his scar, stopping where his guild mark had been.

"It hurt," Gray said softly, bringing his own hand up to Natsu's right shoulder. He hesitated, but Natsu nudged him and he touched along the raised scar where Natsu had lost his arm. "You hurt too."

"Mm." Natsu leaned in and pressed a kiss to Gray's chest. "Hurt like a bitch for a long time." He looked down at Gray's fingers on his scar. "I can't feel that. 's weird. For the longest time I had this... felt like my arm was still there. I kept trying to grab things with it." He chuckled. "I got used to it eventually. Had to relearn everything with my left... I'm awful at writing now. Not great at shooting either."

Gray snorted. "You were always a terrible shot, even with your right." He ran his hand back up to the upper part of Natsu's right arm, then up to his neck where he leaned in and kissed it. "I missed you so much."

"Even with them?" Natsu swore as soon as he said it, shaking his head. "Frak, I'm sorry, that was stupid, I didn't mean-"

"It's okay," Gray murmured against Natsu's neck. "Yeah, even with them. I thought about you every godsdamn day." He nuzzled Natsu's collarbone. "I never thought I'd see you again. I never... never wanted you to see me like this."

"It's okay," Natsu replied, pulling Gray back up into a kiss. "I love you all ways." He pushed Gray back gently against the wall of the shower, running his fingers down to Gray's hip and back up again. Gray moaned softly into Natsu's mouth, pulling Natsu tightly against him. His head spun, torn between talking this out and the way Natsu's lips moved against his.

"I want to be better but I don't know how," he said softly.

"Come home with me."

The words were whispered against Gray's lips and he froze, hands in Natsu's hair. Natsu dropped his head to Gray's shoulder. "I know it's selfish. I know it's... that you have a life here, and it's... but I love you so much, and I miss you, and maybe things, maybe they can be better if we're somewhere else."

Gray pulled Natsu tight against him, kissing his head and swallowing. He tried to respond but the words stuck in his throat. Leave here? Go... home?

"We don't have to go back to the guild," Natsu said, voice muffled. "We could... get a place, out in the country, away from people... and just be us." He pressed a kiss to Gray's collarbone.

"I..." Gray took a shaky breath, focusing on the water dripping from his hair, Natsu's skin under his fingertips. They could... it could be better. Could it? He looked down at the scar on his arm. Could he be more than this, more than broken? "I..."

"I know," Natsu said, letting out a shaky sigh. "I know, there's them, and I get it... I mean, I don't..." He groaned in frustration. "I told you before, I love you and I will no matter what. If you want to stay with them... I mean, it'll hurt, but I understand."

Gray's chest ached again. He didn't want to think about this, think about leaving, or staying, or feelings, or the way he would hurt someone no matter what he chose.

"It's... things here are gonna take a bit," Natsu said quietly. "Stuff with the city, the government. But when it's done..." he hesitated. "I'm leaving. Going back. I can't stay here."

Gray let out a muffled sound and pressed his face into Natsu's hair. "I don't..."

"It's not because of this," Natsu said, running his fingers over the scar on Gray's forearm. "Or the 'pharms or anything. It's just... I don't belong here. I've had enough of it... the fighting, the hiding, the running. I just want to... have a place. Watch sunsets. Be happy."

 _Happy_. Gray sighed, wrapping his arms tightly around Natsu. Was that something he could be? Did he deserve it?

"I-"

"It's okay." Natsu shook his head and ran his hand up to the back of Gray's neck. "You don't have to answer now." He pulled back a bit, looking into Gray's eyes and bringing a hand up to his cheek. "Right now, just kiss me."

* * *

 **A/N  
** **Underspeak Translations**

Karulino = sweetheart  
Mi ne povas = I can't  
Ne ploru. Mi bedaŭras. = Don't cry. I'm sorry.  
Mi ne estas bona = I'm no good  
Mi estas senutila, senvalora, ne bona, rompita. = I'm useless, worthless, no good, broken.


	13. Chapter 13

The thin sun rose over the courtyard of Acropolis, doing little to disperse the chilly fog that clung to the pieces of concrete that still littered the area. Natsu yawned and huddled closer to Gray, who was gripping his coffee cup tightly between his hands. The steam curled up through Gray's hair and over his head, dissipating in the early morning air. A chill crept under Natsu's jacket and he shivered.

"Don't chew your nails." Gray reached out and grabbed Natsu's hand, pulling it away from his mouth. Natsu huffed and Gray looked over at him. "You okay?"

"Mn," Natsu replied. The last week had been hectic, and being in the courtyard only reminded him of burning all those bodies, and the way the scent of scorched flesh had clung to him long after he'd scrubbed his skin raw in the shower. Gajeel was now leading a team to clear the rubble and reshape the courtyard, but it was all still a mess and a reminder of everything they'd failed to do.

"C'mere." Gray wrapped an arm around Natsu and rested their heads together, then kissed Natsu's temple. With everything that had been going on in the past two weeks, they only time they'd had to themselves were their few hours of restless sleep at night, curled up on the hard mattress in the officer's quarters and holding each other through their nightmares.

"You ready to head out?" Natsu lifted his head when Laxus stepped in front of them, holding out two fist-sized white patches. A flaming phoenix was emblazoned on the center of each of them – their new symbol of governance. Of hope.

"They look good." Gray took one of the badges and ran his fingers over the emblem. Freed had designed it after the Resistance leaders had come up with the symbol, and it now permanently adorned the breast of the white jacket Sting wore. "Hopefully people won't try to kill us on sight."

"That's what the secret knives are for," Laxus said conspiratorially, raising an eyebrow before moving on to the next group.

Natsu fixed the badge to the breast of his jacket, frowning at Laxus' retreating back. "Was he… do we have secret knives?" he asked. Gray shrugged.

"He probably does," Gray said, gesturing at Rogue, who was making his way toward them. "Secret knives," Gray clarified when Rogue looked puzzled. "I'm assuming you-"

"Sixteen." Rogue's face was impossible to read, and Natsu didn't know if he should laugh or be terrified. "That way you can protect yourself no matter what position you're in."

A hint of a smile tugged at Rogue's lip, but his gaze dropped to the spot just over Natsu's left shoulder. Natsu hesitated, thinking of Rogue in Undertown – Rogue, who probably had kept sixteen knives on him, and who had used them to stab dozens of men, who had either raped or tried to rape him. And there were hundreds more than he hadn't stabbed, but likely wished he had.

"You okay?" Gray asked gently, and Rogue shook his head, blinking away memories.

"Y-yes." He rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, it's…" Rogue tipped his head back, looking up at the sky. The sky was still dim, with gray clouds scudding across the dark water beyond the port. "Still getting used to this," he said, smiling. "Seeing the sky, sleeping somewhere safe. Not…" He trailed his fingers over a nearly-faded bruise on his wrist.

"We're, uh… headed to Sycca," Natsu said, glancing at the datapad that Freed had given him earlier. He made a face at the idea of riding on the maglev. "You staying here with Sting?"

Rogue glanced over at Sting, who was on the steps to the Acropolis, deep in conversation with Erza. Sting looked good, Natsu thought. He barely resembled the hard-faced man Natsu had met months ago in the Resistance hideout – he looked like a leader, here.

"You two off?" Edo-Natsu appeared, bumping Rogue's shoulder and giving him an uncertain smile. Natsu hadn't missed the awkward tension between them over the past week, and had tried to stay out of it. Rogue gave Edo-Natsu a gentle smile, squeezing his arm and then heading over toward Sting.

"How's Gray?" Natsu asked, taking in Edo-Natsu's haggard appearance. He looked like he hadn't slept in a week – he probably hadn't.

"Not… great," Edo-Natsu admitted, running a hand over his face. He sighed at both the boy's concerned expressions. "He's okay. Still throwing up everything he eats, in a lot of pain, fever's up and down. He's coming out of it, though, he knows where he is now. That… Sin…"

"There was a lot of awful shit down there," Gray sad sadly, eyes flicking over to Rogue's retreating figure. "Nobody here knows anything about the withdrawal?"

"Nothing helpful," Natsu said, shaking his head. "There's none of the drug left here, so we couldn't take him off it gradually. And nobody's going back to Undertown anytime soon. The Zeurocol stims helped a bit with the pain – if you find any more that might help." Natsu nodded and tapped the name into the datapad.

"We'll see what we can find," Gray said, reaching out and grasping Edo-Natsu's arm. "We'll come find you when we get back."

"Thanks." Edo-Natsu smiled, genuine beneath the exhaustion and worry. "Well… good luck, I guess." He squeezed Gray's forearm affectionately, then nodded toward the gates that led out toward the maglev station. "Go make us proud."

* * *

Natsu spent the entire train ride trying his best not to be sick.

The maglev rails ran across the water, spanning the distance between Imperium and Sycca. The trains moved faster than any vehicle Natsu had been on before, and the world outside the windows blurred past as he rested his head on Gray's lap, grateful for the sensation of cool fingers on the back of his neck.

When they finally arrived in Sycca and stepped off the train, they both froze in shock. "Holy shit," Gray whispered.

The riots had destroyed the city. Entire city blocks were burnt down, rickety black skeletons of twisted metal the only things left that were once apartment blocks and shops. Several tents were set up outside the maglev station, providing emergency prepacks and wear to the citizens, who were lined up in snaking rows that wove between the city blocks.

"You guys here to help?" Natsu turned at the sound of Lucy's voice and he felt a strange pang of homesickness. Even though it wasn't his Lucy, he couldn't help the wistful feeling. He shoved it away, trying to focus on the present.

"Hey, Lucy," he said, giving her a timid wave and stepping away from the maglev platform. She was wearing her usual outfit, but the phoenix emblem was attached to her jacket.

"You're part of Epsilon Squad," she said, gesturing for Gray to hold out their datapad. She tapped it a few times and brought up a map. "Your area – Upper Eastside – is pretty close to the shield generator. It got hit bad by the fighting, but it's a pretty scanty area so not many of the folks have come forward."

"Scanty?" Natsu asked.

"Poor," Lucy replied shortly. Then she looked up at Natsu, her face softening. "Nothing like Undertown, though. It doesn't get that bad up here." He nodded. "Right now you're just doing recon. Asking questions, seeing what you can do. You can take some of the emergency stock packs and medkits, but we're gonna send another squad later this week with what they properly need."

Gray picked up one of the small, black packs and handed it to Natsu, then hefted another one over his shoulder. "Should we expect…?" He trailed off, hand traveling to the gun holstered at his hip. Lucy shrugged.

"Can't hurt to be prepared," she said, eyes already on the next group of volunteers. "Stay sharp, and good luck."

* * *

The streets of Upper Eastside were narrow and dark – not much sunlight filtered down to the ground. Buildings stretched up into the sky, most of them blackened and burned, with twisted metal poking out from shattered bricks and cement. It was clear that this hadn't been a good part of town, even before the battle.

Natsu was both surprised and relieved that they were met with gratitude and friendliness. As soon as they entered the area they were approached by citizens, and by the time the early evening rolled around, Gray's datapad was filled with notes, and the stock packs and medkits they'd brought were gone.

"Fuck, I'm exhausted," Natsu said, slumping down on what used to be a fountain, but was now a vaguely-circular-shaped pile of rubble. He pulled a nutribar from his pack and began to eat it, making a face at the bland taste. The sun was starting to set, but the smoke that still lingered in the sky muted the colors and made the fading light thin.

"Lexa, come back here!" A little girl came barreling down the street and ran straight up to Natsu, crashing into his legs and tumbling to the ground. She couldn't have been more than four or five, with a dirty face and blonde hair pulled back into pigtails, and she stared up at him with an intensity that didn't match her age.

Natsu reached out to help her up, and when he touched her, he froze. Something about her was different.

"Hey, sweetheart," he said slowly, tilting his head and staring at her curiously.

"I'm so sorry, sir." A tired-looking young woman caught up to the little girl, reaching out a hand to drag her away. Natsu shook his head, looking up at the woman and smiling.

"It's okay," Gray said, gesturing at the emblem on his jacket. "I'm Gray and this is Natsu, we came to help here. What's your name?"

The woman looked at Gray warily, then replied, "Annabeth." She looked down at her daughter. "I'm so sorry, she…"

Natsu let the woman talk to Gray as he focused again on the little girl. "What's your name, darling?" he asked quietly.

She looked up at Annabeth, who gave her a hesitant nod. "Lexa," the girl said quietly. Her eyes dropped from Natsu's face to the phoenix emblem on his jacket. "That's pretty."

"It's a phoenix," he explained, still trying to figure out what was different about her. There was an energy around her, something sparking and thrumming that he could feel in his fingertips. "It's a special kind of bird. It means hope."

"Are we in trouble?" Annabeth asked. Natsu looked up at her terrified expression and realization hit him.

"She has magic, doesn't she?" Natsu asked.

Gray looked down sharply, and Lexa backed away from Natsu, face dropping into something closed off and afraid. Annabeth dropped to her knees, wrapping her arms around her daughter.

"Please don't take her," Annabeth begged.

"It's okay," Natsu reassured her quickly, crouching down on the ground in front of them. "It's okay, Faust- he's gone, it's…" He looked up at Gray, whose expression was wary. "It's not – nobody's gonna get in trouble. Look."

Gray knelt down beside them, holding out a hand and forming a small flower of ice in his palm. Lexa's eyes widened and she leaned forward, touching it hesitantly. Her mother let out a sigh of relief, eyes flicking forth between Gray and Natsu.

"She's… we've been hiding it for so long," she whispered, stroking Lexa's hair. Lexa huddled back against her, looking uncertain but staring up at Natsu. "He would have taken her, he would have-"

"He's gone now," Natsu reassured her, glancing over at Gray. They hadn't even considered that there were still those outside the guilds who had been hiding magical abilities. "It's safe. Nobody's going to take her."

"You too?" Lexa's voice was curious as she looked at the ice flower, then up at Natsu. He smiled and held his hand out as well, summoning the smallest, most non-threatening flame he could make. Lexa backed up a bit, but the expression on her face quickly transformed from fear to curiosity.

"What kind of magic can you do?" Natsu asked gently. Lexa looked up at her mom again, eyes wide and uncertain.

"Can I show them, mama?" she asked. Annabeth's eyes flicked back and forth between Gray and Natsu, then her face softened and she nodded. Lexa slowly held her hands out in front of her. At first, nothing happened. Then the air in front of her began to shimmer, like looking through campfire smoke.

"Not too fax, Lexa," Annabeth warned. Lexa pouted, then squinted over to the other side of the ruined fountain. The air there began to shimmer as well, and Lexa grinned at them proudly.

"Door!" she said excitedly. She picked up a rock, tossing it through the blurred space in front of her. It disappeared, then clattered to the ground on the other side of the fountain. "Me, too?"

Natsu looked over at Gray uncertainly as Lexa grabbed his hand, pulling up and tugging him toward the shimmering field. He braced himself as he walked through it, feeling a chill run up his arms, and then-

-then they were on the other side of the fountain, and he felt slightly out of breath. Lexa jumped up and down excitedly, squeezing his hand.

"Holy shit," Natsu whispered, looking back over at Gray, whose expression of tentative excitement mirrored his own. "Holy shit, she can make portals."

* * *

"New mages?" Sting's voice was crackly through the datapad, but Gray could hear the excitement in his voice. "Of course there would be, the kids… gods, I can't believe we didn't think about it. How many have you found?"

"Eight, so far," Gray replied. He looked over to where Natsu was holding a toddler on his hip and grinning at her. They were settled in a cleared-out room that used to be a warehouse before the riots claimed it. Several sets of parents milled around with their children, and Gray could see flashes of magic from the corner of his eye.

"So you want… should we open the guilds again?" Sting's eyes were wide and excited, ignoring the fatigue that colored the rest of his features. "Start accepting new mages?"

"I don't know about the other guilds," Gray replied, rubbing his face. "But… we could try to set up Fairy Tail again. Here, in Sycca, maybe? Nobody from here would send their kids to Imperium."

"Good point." Sting thought for a moment, tapping his fingers on his desk. They had set up an office for him in Acropolis, and Gray was impressed by how official everything seemed. He wouldn't have been surprised if, when the elections finally came around, the people voted for Sting to remain in power.

"We can see what we have to work with here," Gray said. "We can- I mean, we're not experts or anything, but Natsu and I can control our magic. We could teach the kids. Some of the others could come back too, if they wanted."

"I know Laxus and Freed aren't keen on staying here," Sting replied, turning to the vidscreen beside him and pulling up several files. "Lucy and Levy might, not sure about Gajeel. There's a handful more from the other guilds, but…"

"Yeah," Gray said, looking around the room again. The eight families had come forward eagerly after Annabeth had told them about the potential new guild, and Gray imagined more would show up in the days to come. He sighed, wishing Makarov were here.

"You okay?" Sting asked. Gray turned back to the datapad, hesitating before answering.

"One of the kids… she can make portals."

Sting's face transformed slowly into an expression of tentative hope and excitement. "That's incredible! She could- if she worked with Freed, with his runes, and the tech… some of the mages used to interface with it, we could-"

"We're trying not to get our hopes up," Gray said quietly, looking over at Natsu again. He was smiling, but it didn't quite meet his eyes. Ever since their fight in the courtyard, Natsu's anger and frustration had been softer and more subdued, but it was clear that he was still grieving. "She's only four, I mean, it's impressive, but…"

"I understand," Sting said. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'll talk to Erza, see about setting something up for you in Sycca – an old hotel or something, if the families want to stay. We'll figure it out."

"Thanks," Gray said, looking down as one of the children grabbed his pant leg and stared up at him expectantly. "I gotta go, but we'll talk soon. We're sending someone back with those stims for Gray, hopefully they'll help."

Gray could tell that Sting was trying to keep his emotions in check, but the frustration and sadness that appeared on his face at the mention of Edo-Gray were obvious. Gray wished he hadn't said anything.

"Thanks," Sting said softly. "He's… a bit better. I'll make sure they get to him."

There was an awkward silence, then Gray gave Sting a tired smile. "Talk soon?"

"Talk soon," Sting agreed, and then the transmission ended, leaving Gray with a room full of magic and no idea what to do with it.

* * *

.

* * *

Gray hadn't gone this long without Sin since he'd started it three years ago. Twelve agonizing days had passed, and the world around him moved on while he shivered and shook and threw up. Every part of him ached, and for the first few days he'd been certain he was going to die. Now, he kind of wished he had.

"Hey, love." Natsu's face appeared in his field of vision and Gray blinked slowly, swallowing against the nausea that was always present. "You know where you are?" Gentle fingers stroked Gray's back and he shivered at the touch.

"Yeah," he mumbled. An icy hand touched his forehead and he groaned, wrapping his arms around himself. Wasn't Natsu supposed to be warm? Cool fingers brushed Gray's sweaty bangs out of his face. "C-cold."

"You're burning up again," Natsu murmured softly. Gray shivered, feeling his jaw seize up from the tension. When he opened his eyes again, the room was still spinning. "C'mon, let's get you back in the shower."

Gray didn't have the strength to argue. He let Natsu pull back the blankets and tug him to his feet, then guide him across the room and into the ensuite until he was sitting on the floor of the shower. There was a hiss as the water started up and he flinched as cold droplets began to hit his skin.

"N-need... warm," he mumbled, pulling his knees to his chest and pressing his forehead to them. Natsu sat down next to him, bare skin pressed together, and he wrapped his arm around Gray, pulling him close.

"You've got a fever," Natsu said, maneuvering Gray under the stream of cool water and running fingers through Gray's hair. "You've gotta cool down or we'll need to get Wendy to come back."

"N-no," Gray argued, shaking his head. He immediately regretted it – blood pounded between his ears and the room shook violently. "Frak, gods, I n-need... I c-can't..." Sharp pain shot up his arms and he realized that he was digging his fingernails into his skin.

"Stop that," Natsu said gently, pulling Gray's hands into his lap. "You're gonna be okay."

Gray tipped his head sideways and looked at Natsu. His hair was plastered to his scalp and water dripped down his face, but his gaze remained on Gray, strong and steady. The look on his face was one of pure trust – complete faith that Gray could do this, could get better.

Was that enough to make it true?

"I wanna... w-wanna go home with you," Gray mumbled, reaching out and touching Natsu's cheek. Another violent spasm had him pulling away in pain, but Natsu reached up and grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly. "Gnghhh, it h-hurts."

"I know, love," Natsu said gently, kissing Gray's knuckles and shifting closer to him. Gray's jaw clenched again and he groaned, pain spiking through his head and nausea slamming through him. He gasped, turning away from Natsu and retching. There was nothing in his stomach for him to throw up, and bile burned the back of his throat.

"Gods..." he gasped, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and shaking violently. "I'm so... gods, I'm so s-stupid." He pulled himself tighter into the ball, shaking as the cold water slammed against his skin, burning like sparks up and down his arms. "I h-hate this."

"I know," Natsu said softly, brushing Gray's hair out of his face and kissing his forehead. "But you can do it. I believe in you."

The conviction in his voice made Gray's chest tighten painfully. Natsu believed in him.

Maybe he could believe in himself, too.

* * *

Natsu sat on the bed, flipping through files and reports on his datapad. Other-Gray had been sending him updates on the new guild – a few days ago, Laxus and Freed had returned to Sycca to start rebuilding a place for the new mages to stay. The idea of a new generation of magic-users made Natsu feel light. The sickness had burned away, and new saplings were growing from the remains of the dead things left behind.

A _ping_ at the door made him look up from the datapad. Gray stood in the doorway of their room, arms crossed over his chest. He looked exhausted, but healthy. The Sin had finally made its way out of his system after three long weeks, and just yesterday he'd managed to keep down a meal without throwing it up.

Gray stepped into the room and the door slid closed behind him. He moved over to the bed, then reached out his hand to pull Natsu to his feet.

"I'm coming with you." Gray said softly. Natsu's breath caught in his throat as he searched Gray's face – Gray's eyes were clear, no trace of confusion or uncertainty. This wasn't the drugs talking, or the fever. This was Gray – his Gray.

"You…" Natsu trailed off and ran a hand over Gray's cheek, fingers tracing the shape of his scar. He brushed his thumb over Gray's lips and Gray turned his head, pressing a kiss in Natsu's palm.

"I know we can- we can't go back," Gray said, voice breaking. "It's never gonna be the same. But… I love you, and I can't… I can't lose you again. You're my heart." Gray brought his hand up to grip the ring on the chain around his neck, and Natsu wiped at the tears that were already slipping from Gray's eyes.

"What about… Sting?" Natsu whispered, chest aching. "And Rogue…"

Gray squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head. He swallowed a few times, fighting to get the words out, and Natsu's heart ached. He never wanted this. He didn't want Gray to have to choose.

"I can't…" Gray took a shaky breath. "I still love them. I can't stop." Natsu's chest tightened and he gripped Gray's hand tighter. "They're always gonna be… I can't forget them. And maybe that means you and I won't- won't work, but I… I have to try." Gray rubbed his eyes. "I need… to say goodbye to them."

A soft sob broke out of his throat and Natsu felt guilty weighing heavy in his chest. He pulled Gray into a tight embrace, kissing his head.

"I'm so sorry," he breathed. "I don't want… I didn't mean for you to lose…" His voice left him and all he could do was cry softly against Gray.

"I know," Gray whispered. "I know, I'm - it's not your fault. It's me, and this, and I just... _frak_ , I'm so tired. Of everything, the- the fighting, and the killing and… and the nightmares." He clutched Natsu's shirt tightly. "I have to stay away from... I can't be like this anymore, I have to be better. I have to be." He shook his head against Natsu's chest. "I missed you every godsdamned day, and I can't throw that away."

"I love you," Natsu said shakily. "I was so lonely. I missed you so much, I watched... I watched you die and it hurt so badly. I thought I was gonna die too." The tears were dripping down his cheeks now, soaking into Gray's hair, and his breaths were coming in sharp gasps. "I'm so sorry. I don't want to hurt you."

Gray tipped his head up and pulled Natsu into a gentle kiss. Natsu made a soft noise against Gray's lips, leaning in and running his hand up Gray's arm. Each press of their lips said so many things – whispers of sorrow, screams of regret, cries of guilt. They broke apart after a minute and Gray shivered, resting his forehead against Natsu's.

"I just..." he hesitated, taking Natsu's hand and playing with the ring on his finger. "I need... I need to say goodbye. Is that okay?"

Natsu knew that Gray meant with more than just words and it made his chest ache, but he nodded anyway. "Of course, love," he whispered. "Take all the time you need."

* * *

"You're going with him." Rogue's voice was soft and Gray couldn't meet his eyes, keeping his gaze trained on the floor. A heavy silence hung in the air between them until Sting reached out and took Gray's arm, gently pulling him into the bedroom. The door _whooshed_ shut behind them and Gray sat down heavily on the bed.

"I can't..." he started but he choked on the words, dropping his head into his hands. He couldn't do this. How could he say goodbye? How could he leave them, leave the people who'd seen him broken and put him back together? "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Sting said roughly, crouching down in front of Gray. He ran his hands up Gray's thighs as Rogue sat down on the bed, running his hand down Gray's back. "We understand. You've missed him for a long time."

"But I love you," Gray sobbed, wrapping his arms around his stomach. "I can't stop and I'm s-sorry, I c-can't – you s-saved my life and I c-can't..." he took a shaky breath. "I'll miss you so much."

"We'll miss you too," Rogue said quietly, and Gray could hear the pain in his voice. Hundreds of memories flashed through Gray's mind – soft kisses, familiar touches, gentle words, loving hands. Rogue's touch had been the first one that hadn't hurt him in two years. They had given him so much and loved even the broken pieces.

 _"Mi bedaŭras min,"_ Gray sobbed, turning and burying his face on Rogue's shoulder. "I don't know if I can live without you." Everything hurt and his chest ached, but he kept picturing pink hair and gentle hands and Natsu's lopsided smile. He couldn't lose that. He couldn't lose this. Everything was falling apart.

"You can," Sting said, reaching up to touch Gray's cheek. "And you're not losing us. We'll still be here."

"It's..." Gray swallowed, pulling back from Rogue and reaching up to trail a gentle finger down his cheek. "I'm..."

Rogue pulled him closer, hesitating and staring into Gray's eyes for permission before pressing their lips together. Gray let out a soft moan, bringing his hand to the back of Rogue's neck and tugging him in closer. He hadn't kissed Rogue in weeks, but the sensation of his lips was so familiar, imprinted into Gray's body. He could never forget this – would never forget this.

Sting moved up onto the bed behind Gray and his lips brushed the back of Gray's neck. Gray sighed, reaching back and running a hand through Sting's hair. Rogue's fingers were on Gray's cheeks, and he felt Sting's hand drift down his side to caress his stomach.

"Is this okay?" Sting asked, words whispered against Gray's skin. "Is he-"

"I said I needed to say goodbye," Gray said, voice breaking. "I can't..."

Sting tipped Gray's head back and kissed him, rough and steady like Gray was used to, and Gray turned and gripped his shoulders, trying to breathe. Rogue's hands were in Gray's hair and on his hips and he shivered, biting Sting's lip and then tipping his head to the side while Sting trailed gentle kisses down his neck.

"C'mere," Sting said roughly, tugging Gray until he was straddling Sting's thighs while Sting pressed kisses along his collarbone. Gray moaned softly, dragging his fingers through Sting's hair and leaning back against Rogue, who had moved to stand behind him. Rogue's chest was warm against Gray's back, and Gray could feel a steady heartbeat through his thin shirt.

Gray's breath came in short gasps as Sting brought his hands up under Gray's shirt, drifting them over his chest as he placed soft, open-mouthed kisses up the side of Gray's neck. Rogue's hands were on his hips now and Gray rocked forward out of instinct, moaning softly at Sting's fingers pressing over the scars on his back. It felt so good, so familiar, so-

-no. He closed his eyes and saw Natsu's soft eyes and sweet smile, and he pulled back.

"Frak, I... I can't." He swallowed heavily and rested his forehead against Sting's, feeling the tears come again. "I want... I can't."

"It's okay," Sting whispered, bringing his hands up over Gray's shirt and running them up and down his back. "We understand. We're gonna miss you so much, but... you need to go. It's better for you. He'll take care of you, things... you'll be okay."

"What if I can't be?" Gray's voice broke and he collapsed forward onto Sting's chest, shoulders shaking. Sting made a soft noise and shifted until they were lying on the bed, Gray tucked under Sting's chin, while Rogue curled up behind Gray with an arm around him. "What if I... if we go and th-then I'm just... I'm too b-broken and h-he'll..."

"And he'll love you," Rogue said gently, kissing Gray's neck. "It's going to be hard, but you both know that. He loves you so much, karulino."

"It hurts," Gray whimpered, pulling tighter in on himself. "You're... part of me and it hurts."

"I know it does, amataj," Sting whispered, holding Gray tightly and looking over at Rogue with heartbroken eyes. "I know it does."

* * *

Gray's chest ached as he stood next to Natsu at the maglev platform. The wind whipped around them and he crossed his arms over his stomach, glad they'd found a place to wait that was far away from the other passengers. He felt sick and scared an on the edge of tears.

"It's okay," Natsu whispered, touching Gray's lower back gently. Gray couldn't help flinching at the touch and he flushed, embarrassed. "We can wait, we don't have to go now."

"Yes, we do." Gray looked up at the tracks that spanned the ocean to the mainland. The sky was gray again, clouds obscuring the faint light of the sun, and Gray was glad for it. It felt a little like Undertown again – dark and cramped and familiar.

There was a familiar whirring sound as the maglev pulled into the station, and Gray's feet felt frozen to the ground. Gods, it hurt, he couldn't leave.

He had to leave.

"I'll wait for you in there, okay?" Natsu said softly, then turned to hug Sting and Rogue, who had come up behind them. They both pulled Natsu into tight embraces, pressing kisses to his cheek before letting him go.

"I'm-"

"Don't say you're sorry," Rogue said gently, eyes wet with tears. "Just – take care of him. He needs you."

Natsu nodded, then gave the two of them one final look filled with both hope and regret, before he turned and boarded the train. Gray stood still, facing the doors of the maglev and holding himself tightly. He couldn't fight the tears anymore and they left hot trails down his cheeks.

"C'mere," Sting said softly, touching Gray's elbow. Gray turned and let Sting pull him into his arms, trembling against Sting's chest. Sting ran his hand over Gray's hair, pulling Gray's head to rest on his shoulder.

"We'll still talk," Rogue said, joining the embrace and kissing Gray's cheek. "Maybe come visit, once things calm down here. This isn't goodbye."

Gray tried to reply but his throat was thick with tears and he couldn't say anything. What was there to say?

He reached up to trace his finger over the phoenix on Sting's jacket, trying to pull hope from the symbol. Everything was burning to ash, but beautiful things grew from destruction. Natsu believed in him, and maybe with his love, Gray could be more than a disaster.

Gray inhaled shakily, taking in everything he could from the embrace – the feel of Sting's rough fingers on the back of his neck, the scent of soap that lingered in Rogue's hair, the way he fit so neatly in their arms. He pulled himself reluctantly out of the embrace, then kissed them both, hoping that the gesture conveyed everything he couldn't say.

An awkward cough interrupted them and Gray looked over to see Gajeel standing next to them, looking uncomfortable.

"I, uh, wanted to do somethin' for you before you left." Gajeel's voice was rough and he shifted from foot to foot, hands in his pockets. He looked up at Gray and gestured to the chain around his neck that held his ring. "Can I, uh… can I see it?"

Gray frowned, bringing his hand up to the chain and gripping the ring tightly. He knew Gajeel well enough to trust that he wouldn't do anything dangerous, but wariness kept him hesitant.

"I'm not gonna- just-"

"Here." Gray finally found his voice and pulled the chain over his head, reaching out hesitantly and placing it in Gajeel's hand. Gajeel looked at it carefully, then looked at Gray's hand. He touched the metal and it began to shift, slowly shrinking in size.

"Try it." Gajeel handed the ring back to Gray and Gray stared at it before slipping it onto his finger. It fit perfectly, and the weight of it there after so many years made his chest hurt.

"Dankon," he whispered, not meeting Gajeel's eyes. He wasn't sure if Gajeel knew what this meant to him, but he knew that if he made eye contact now, Gray would fall apart. "Thank you."

"Yeah," Gajeel replied gruffly. "See ya, I guess." Then he turned around and stalked back toward Acropolis, hands shoved in his pockets.

Gray stood for a moment, stunned, before stepping back from Sting and Rogue and looking at the ground between them. He swallowed heavily, running his finger over the ring – the ring that fit him again, that he could wear to show that he loved the man waiting for him on the train.

What did he have to show his love for Sting and Rogue? Did he have to keep that hidden? Or was that love written on all his scars they'd helped to heal?

"Go," Rogue whispered, and Gray finally looked up, meeting their eyes and almost wishing he hadn't. The air was tense with grief and everything hurt. Gray took another step backward, wanting to touch them one last time but knowing he couldn't.

 _"Adiaŭo,"_ he whispered. _"Mi ĉiam amos vin._ I'll always love you." Then, before they could reply, Gray turned and walked away, focusing on Natsu's smiling face through the window, and the heavy weight of the silver ring on his finger.

* * *

 **Underspeak Translations**

Mi bedaŭras min = I'm so sorry  
Karulino = sweetheart  
Amataj = heart/beloved  
Dankon = thank you  
Adiaŭo = goodbye  
Mi ĉiam amos vin = I'll always love you


	14. raise you like a phoenix

The sun was just pushing its way into the cabin – tiny rays of light drifting under the doorframe and through the window – when Gray started to whimper. Natsu woke immediately, body attuned to the sounds and movements, and rolled over in the bed to face Gray.

"Sweetheart," he whispered, wanting to reach out and touch Gray, but knowing better. "Hey, love, wake up. You're dreaming."

Gray's eyes remained closed and he let out a shuddering breath, hands crossed tightly over his chest, nails digging into his arms as he made another anguished sound.

Natsu sat up slowly, looking down to the end of the bed. "Esper," he whispered, patting the sheets between him and Gray. "C'mere, girl."

A large, grayish dog that looked more wolf than domesticated pet looked up at him from the end of the bed, ears perking up at her name. Her tail, which had been wrapped over her nose, began thumping happily on the blanket.

"C'mon Esper," Natsu whispered again, glancing back at Gray's pained face. "Gray needs you, girl."

Esper stood up slowly and made a low whining sound as she moved up the bed and lay down next to Gray. Gray let out a quiet sob and Esper nuzzled his cheek, pressing her entire body up against his.

Gray tensed for a moment, then he relaxed and let go of his arms, bringing his hand up to Esper's fur instead. She licked his cheek happily as he buried his face in her chest and let out a shaky breath. Natsu sat on the other side of Esper, petting the back of her head as Gray cried against her.

 _"Bona knabino,"_ Gray whispered eventually, pulling back and wiping his face. Esper whined again and tilted her head, and he made a similar sound back to her, pressing their foreheads together.

"Hey, you," Natsu said softly, laying down as Esper shifted to curl up with her head on Gray's stomach. Gray kept one hand buried in her fur, petting it absently, and reached the other out to Natsu.

"Hey," Gray whispered. He glanced up at the window, sighing and dropping his head back on the pillow. "Sorry. 's early."

"It's okay," Natsu said, bringing Gray's hand to his lips and kissing it. "You wanna talk about it?"

Gray squeezed Natsu's hand tightly. "It didn't…" he hesitated, shaking his head. "Didn't make sense. Just one of those- it's all mixed up, people are wrong. Y-you were there, but it wasn't y-you, and… him."

Natsu knew that Gray was referring to Revik and he made a sad sound, wishing once again that he could have made the man suffer before he died.

"I just-" Gray took a shaky breath, looking up at the ceiling. Natsu shifted a little closer, gauging Gray's reaction before putting his head on the pillow next to Gray's. Gray brought his arm around Natsu, tucking him close and running his fingers through Natsu's hair. "Just lots of hurt," Gray said eventually. "I don't- I can't-"

"It's okay," Natsu said gently, bringing a hand down to pet Esper's head. He could feel her tail hitting him in the leg as she wagged it happily, content to be cuddled between them.

They lay like that in silence for a long time. This had been an easy one, all things considered. When they'd first come here, it had taken hours to pull Gray out of nightmares or flashbacks. They had even come to a point where Natsu had begun to think he'd done the wrong thing, taking Gray away from the only ways he knew how to cope. Out here, without the drugs or the sex or the fighting, it was just them, and Natsu didn't know how to make it better.

Then Gray found Esper. They'd been walking through the woods by the farm, trying to bring Gray down from a panicked high, when they'd heard something whining. Gray had eventually traced the sound to a wild-looking dog with its foot caught in a trap, and that moment had changed everything.

Natsu remembered the way Gray had crouched down, staring the dog in the eye and moving closer, unafraid. When she had growled, Gray had growled right back, and there had been a terrifying moment where Natsu was worried that Gray would end up losing an arm as well. But then she'd put her ears back against her head, and let him help her, and he'd carried her back to their house and saved her life.

"Up?" Gray's voice pulled Natsu back to the present and he sighed, burying his face in Gray's shoulder before nodding. He sat up slowly and Esper leapt to her feet, jumping down from the bed and racing out the door and down the hallway to the kitchen.

"Someone's hungry," Natsu commented, giving Gray a small smile. Gray's gaze was still unfocused and distant, and Natsu thought about taking Gray's hand, but settled on handing him a shirt from the bedside table instead. Gray took it with a nod and tugged it over his head – over the scars and all the ways they still haunted him.

"I just…" Gray swallowed, looking up at Natsu, who smiled gently and stood from the bed.

"Come out when you're ready," he said, then headed to the kitchen, closing the bedroom door behind him. He steeled himself for the sound of sobs, but there weren't any and he sighed in relief. He hated it when Gray cried without him.

By the time Esper came back, looking very pleased with herself and carrying two rabbits, Gray was standing behind Natsu in the kitchen, chest pressed to Natsu's back and arms wrapped around his waist. He kissed Natsu's temple, holding him tightly.

Natsu sighed and relaxed into the touch. It was going to be a good day. "Love you too," he murmured.

The vidscreen in the kitchen was on and Natsu turned to it when he saw Sting's familiar face smiling and waving. Sting had grown a beard, and his face looked warm and open as he spoke to a crowd of people gathered in front of Acropolis.

"I can't tell you how much it means to me that you've once again given me your trust and loyalty," he said, hands on the podium, no notes to guide his speech. The words were honest, and the smile on his face was genuine. Natsu recognized the holo as a rerun of last week's election results. "I promise you that I'll continue to do my best to lead us with honor and compassion."

The crowd cheered and the holo panned over them, thousands of screaming people wearing white and orange – the colors of the Phoenix party. Children sat on their parent's shoulders, waving flags with the bird emblem stitched onto them, and Natsu marveled at how much the Acropolis had changed over the last three years.

"Not surprised he won," Natsu commented, turning around and kissing Gray's cheek. "Everyone loves him." Gray's expression was somewhere between vacant and concerned, and Natsu took his arm gently, turning off the vidscreen and leading Gray out the front door.

They ate on the porch – eggs and real bacon, from the farmer just down the way – and watched in silence as the sun finished its ascent into the sky and burned away the fog of the night. Esper sat at Gray's feet, panting happily and thumping her tail as he scratched her ears.

Gray didn't talk much anymore. At first it had worried Natsu – Gray had never been particularly talkative to begin with, but now he could go days without saying a word. Natsu eventually realized that he was just communicating in other ways. A touch on Natsu's hip meant _I'm here,_ a kiss on his temple meant _I love you,_ fingers twined tightly with Natsu's meant _I'm scared, please help me._

"They're coming today?" Gray's voice broke through the calm silence, and Natsu waited for Gray to reach out before taking his hand.

"Yeah." Natsu shuffled a bit closer and Gray's thumbnail began to drag across the back of his hand. I'm anxious. Comfort me. "I can go get them myself if you don't wanna come into town. There might be a crowd, Sting's trying to keep it quiet, but someone could recognize him."

Gray didn't answer right away. He stared across the yard at the treeline, where a breeze had picked up and made soft noises through the leaves. When they'd first come out here, everything had been long-abandoned, lost in the wave of Magehunter attacks. Over the last three years, the broken home had been rebuilt, and the rubble around it had been replaced with plants and a large garden.

"I'll come." The answer came a long while later, when Natsu had almost forgotten what they were talking about. Gray turned to look at Natsu, and the uncertainty in his eyes was heartbreaking. Natsu leaned in a bit, waiting for Gray to close the distance before kissing him. Gray sighed softly, turning so that he was facing Natsu on the bench and running his fingers over the scar through Natsu's eye.

They broke apart eventually and Gray pressed his forehead against Natsu's, just like he had with Esper earlier. _Thank you. I need you._ Natsu returned the gesture, then kissed Gray's cheek and stood up, pulling Gray to his feet.

"Esper brought us some dinner, but we need vegetables," he said, squeezing Gray's hand. "Why don't we go for a walk to the garden?"

* * *

Gray didn't like Louen. There were too many people, everything was noisy, and people kept touching him. Even with Natsu pressed right to his side, people would bump into him, grab his shoulder as they stumbled, brush against his back as they moved behind him in the market. Each touch hurt, like it was taking something away from him.

He wished Esper were here.

They passed a sign that was lit up in neon pink and blue, and Gray froze when he saw the ad flashing across the screen. _Amateur Night vs. Carnage! Will you be the one to take him down?_

Gray's knees buckled and he gripped Natsu's hand tightly, tugging at him out of the crowd and into a side street. Natsu looked at Gray, concerned, then followed his gaze to the screen and sighed, stepping in and pulling Gray close to him.

"That's not you anymore," he whispered, stroking Gray's hair. "You're safe. You don't have to get hurt. I'm here."

Gray clutched Natsu's jacket tightly as he tried to calm his breathing, counting like other-Gray had shown him. _In. Hold. Out._ Just blocks away were the lifts to 'Lower Louen', to Undertown, to all the garbage and filth he'd left behind. _In. Hold. Out._

For a moment – just a brief, fleeting moment – everything in Gray's body told him to run, to go to the lifts and take them down and go back where he belonged. Back to the dark, to the pain, to fighting and drink and Sin and wanting to die.

He pulled his left hand away from Natsu's jacket and brought it to his own chest, thumb running over his ring. _In. Hold. Out._ The metal was cool and heavy, and Gray could hear Natsu's heart beating through his jacket. He was safe. It was okay to be safe.

Here, in the warm circle of Natsu's arm, Gray knew he could be better.

They took the side streets the rest of the way to the maglev station, then waited in a less-crowded area where they could still see the arriving trains. Gray's chest was so tight he felt like he could barely breathe and he let out a sigh of relief when Natsu stepped away from him a little, giving him the space he needed.

Gray hadn't talked to Sting and Rogue in three years. Three long, excruciating years where he'd ripped himself apart and started to put together the pieces. He'd seen them, of course – on the holos when Sting made speeches, Rogue always in the background. Natsu talked to them occasionally, but Gray had never been able to bring himself to join the conversations.

"They're here." Natsu's voice was gentle, just like the touch on Gray's elbow. Gray looked up just in time to see the train doors slide open, a mass of people spilling out of them and immediately moving on to other destinations.

Gray's stomach twisted, a confusing mess of emotions. He wanted to see them so badly. He was terrified of seeing them. What if they thought he didn't care because he hadn't talked on the holo? What if he was too different? What if th—

The sight of Sting stopped Gray's racing thoughts in their tracks. Sting was dressed in dark pants and a matching jacket, wearing a cap to hide his hair and face. Rogue followed behind him, and the first thing Gray noticed was that he looked happy. Content. Unafraid.

At first, Gray couldn't move. His feet were frozen to the ground and he stared at them, chest tightening until he nearly stopped breathing. Then Sting looked up and met his eyes, and a warm, wide smile spread across Sting's face, melting the fear and doubt away.

"Gray." The word was whispered in his ear as Sting wrapped his arms around Gray's shoulders, pulling him tightly to his chest. Gray relaxed into the embrace, burying his face into Sting's shoulder and wrapping his arms around Sting's waist. Sting was _here,_ he was solid and real beneath Gray's fingers, and the way he held Gray was familiar, just like it had always been.

 _"Ni maltrafis vin,_ " Sting said softly, voice catching as he kissed Gray's head. "Gods, we missed you." He pulled back a bit and ran a hand down Gray's cheek, smiling at him. "You look good."

Gray couldn't speak, words caught in the back of his throat. He turned to Rogue, who had just released Natsu from an embrace. Rogue's hair was shorter, and his face was softer than it used to be. More open.

"Hey, _karulino,"_ he said softly, reaching out for Gray's arms and pulling him into a hug. Gray dug his fingers into the back of Rogue's jacket, exhaling shakily and feeling hot tears spilling down his cheeks. He could dimly hear Sting and Natsu embracing and talking in the background, but all he could focus on was the soft sound of Rogue's heartbeat through his shirt.

It seemed like hours later when they finally let go of each other, and Gray looked over at Natsu hesitantly. He was afraid of what he might see, what things might be written on Natsu's face that could tear them apart. But all Natsu gave him was a soft smile and a squeeze of his hand, and the words, "let's go home."

* * *

.

* * *

"That's not _fair!"_ Lexa crossed her arms over her chest and frowned at Laxus, who scowled right back at her, standing his ground. Gray couldn't help but laugh – at seven years old, Lexa barely came up to Laxus' waist, but the way she glared at him was impressive.

"I didn't ask you if I thought it was fair," Laxus rumbled. "I told you to apologize." He nodded toward Freed, who was standing next to Laxus with a barely-disguised look of amusement on his face.

"But he's _wrong,"_ Lexa insisted. "Two of the runes are wrong and I can fix it, and you never _listen_ to me!" Her glare turned into a pout and she looked over at Gray pleadingly. _"Pacjo,_ tell them I'm right!"

Gray shook his head at the nickname, and also at Lexa's demand. "Laxus is guild master, you gotta listen to him."

"And Freed is never wrong," Laxus added, glancing at his partner protectively.

"Actually," Freed interjected, stepping forward. "She might have a point." He looked at Lexa with one eyebrow raised. "The reason that nobody listens to you, _breta,_ is because you're not using the right words. Or tone of voice."

Lexa bit back what Gray knew was going to be a dramatic sigh, and made a soft _hmph_ sound instead. She shot one last glare at Laxus, then turned to Freed.

"I'm sorry," she said. Her voice was still somewhat petulant, but she looked Freed in the eye. "I didn't mean to say _dumb."_

"I accept your apology," Freed said, putting his hand on Lexa's shoulder. "Why don't we go take a look at the runes again, together this time?"

Lexa looked contrite as Freed led her away, back to the table at the middle of the hall where several books were stacked, and a handful of purple runes were hanging mid-air.

"Some guild master I am," Laxus muttered, watching Lexa's retreating figure. "Can't even keep a handful of kids in line."

"There's more than a handful," Gray argued, looking over at Natsu, who was seated in the far corner of the room, sitting on the floor with a group of toddlers around him. Gray could see flames dancing from his hands, and the kids squealed in delight.

"Is he even teaching them anything, or just telling stories?" Laxus raised an eyebrow, sitting down at the table and pulling a datapad from his pocket.

"Does it matter?" Gray countered. Laxus shrugged, flipping through the files in front of him. "How many are we up to now?"

Laxus was quiet for a moment, calculating the numbers in his head. "Twenty-seven," he said eventually.

"We're almost full," Lucy commented, coming up behind Gray. She had grown out her hair, and it hung down her back in a thick braid. "Only one room left upstairs. We might have to start sending people to Lamia Scale."

Gray tensed a little at the mention of the other guild – they'd attended the opening in Louen several months ago, and it had been bittersweet to see the guild banner flying without his brother standing under it – even if this world's Lyon hadn't really been Gray's.

Gray leaned back against the table, looking around the guild. They'd ended up repurposing an old hotel that they'd spend months repairing and getting ready for the kids. The main floor was similar to the hall in Earthland – minus the bar, of course. None of these mages were over the age of ten. The second and third floors of the building held the dorms, where the children from other cities and small towns stayed.

"You going to the parade tomorrow?" Laxus asked, glancing up at Gray. Gray frowned – he'd almost forgotten that tomorrow was Liberation Day. Last year they'd gone to Imperium to visit Sting and Rogue, but the memories had been too much for Natsu and they'd decided to stay in Sycca this year.

"Depends," Gray said vaguely. Laxus glanced over at Natsu and nodded.

They sat in silence for a bit, watching Lexa tug at Freed's sleeve and point at several of his runes – no doubt attempting to correct him. "Don't feel much like partying," Laxus said eventually.

Gray nodded. It was easier for civilians to celebrate Liberation Day. They hadn't been in the midst of it – in the gunfire, covered in blood, watching people die. Natsu still woke up crying from nightmares about burning flesh and Faust's unseeing eyes. It was always worse around this time of year.

For Gray, the memories blended in to other visions of fire and blood and screaming and his mother's unseeing eyes. It hurt, but he'd learned to deal with it a long time ago.

Gray shook his head and looked over at Natsu again, who met his eye and waved him over.

 _"Pacjo!"_ Galen, an excitable four-year-old who'd recently been brought to the guild, bounced eagerly as Gray approached, immediately scooting into his lap when he sat down on the floor. Natsu grinned at Gray, then continued his story while Galen chattered in Gray's ear. _"Obaye_ beated up a dragon!"

"Did he really?" Gray said, widening his eyes in mock surprise. "He's full of stories, isn't he?"

Gray leaned over and kissed Natsu's temple. Natsu looked happy – he gestured widely as he spoke, telling stories of their adventures on Earthland. It had been a long three years since they'd destroyed their only way home, and Natsu was finally able to talk about their friends without tearing up.

Galen snuggled up against Gray's chest, and Gray managed to lose himself for a while in the cadence of Natsu's voice, the way the flames danced in his hands as he spoke. By the time Laxus called for dinner, Galen was asleep, and Gray felt like he wasn't far behind.

"You need help tonight?" Gray asked Lucy after he'd come down from putting Galen to bed. She shook her head, looking out over the children, who were settled at the tables.

"Nah, go home." She gave Gray a fond smile, squeezing his arm, then gestured to Natsu, who was waiting for him at the door.

Liberation Day celebrations were already in full swing, and the streets on their walk home were filled with the orange and white colors of the Phoenix party. Pennants and flags fluttered in the evening breeze, and Gray even saw some children running by with Phoenix symbols painted on their cheeks.

"You okay?" Gray asked Natsu quietly. He slid his hand into Natsu's, rubbing Natsu's thumb comfortingly as they wound between food trucks, market stalls, and kids running through the streets. Natsu tensed a little, but nodded, keeping a smile on his face as they passed their neighbors. Upper Eastside had gradually been transformed into a close-knit community with the guild hall at its heart, and it was barely recognizable from the slums of three years ago.

By the time they reached their house, the sun was already setting, casting long shadows through the streets and highlighting the horizon in a warm shade of orange. Natsu unlocked the door and kicked off his shoes, then beelined for the couch and collapsed onto it.

"How're you feeling?" Gray asked, settling down next to Natsu and running his fingers through Natsu's hair. Natsu shrugged, cuddling up to Gray and resting his head on Gray's chest.

"I miss everyone," he said quietly. "It's harder- tomorrow, and the parade. Can't believe it's been three years." He sighed. "I dunno if it's ever really gonna feel like home here."

Gray nodded, focusing on the gentle circles that Natsu was drawing on his thigh. His chest felt heavy. He rarely let himself think of home – it was too painful – but right now he let his mind wander to thoughts of missions with Lucy and Erza, of fights with Lyon, of double dates with their Sting and Rogue.

Natsu's shoulders started to shake, and Gray sighed, holding Natsu tightly.

"I'm sorry," Gray said quietly, kissing Natsu's forehead. "We don't have to go tomorrow. Laxus will understand." Natsu shook his head against Gray's chest.

"No," Natsu said shakily, wiping his eyes. "No, I wanna…" He sighed, cheeks damp with tears. "I just wish it could be different."

"I know," Gray said quietly, stroking Natsu's hair. "I wanna go home, too."

Gray tipped Natsu's chin up and gazed at him, running his finger under Natsu's eyes to wipe away the tears. Then he leaned down and kissed Natsu, a gentle press of their lips together as he brushed Natsu's bangs out of his face.

Natsu made a soft noise against Gray's lips, shifting on the couch until they were facing each other and deepening the kiss. Gray shivered, the sensation drawing a moan out of him as he put his hands on Natsu's hips and tugged him up to straddle Gray's legs.

Gray remembered the first time they'd made love – it had been a good day, nearly six months after the battle before Natsu was ready for that kind of touch. They'd spent plenty of time making out before they'd ended up in Edolas, but their first time had been here, in this house, both of them pink-cheeked and sweaty, with Natsu leaning over Gray and whispering _I love you, I need you, you're mine_ in Gray's ear.

Now Natsu rocked in Gray's lap, letting out a soft gasp against Gray's lips. Gray brushed one hand through Natsu's hair, bringing the other down to his lower back to pull him in tighter. Natsu's hands moved everywhere – curling around the back of Gray's neck, running up and down his arms, thumb brushing his chin.

Gray trailed his lips down to Natsu's neck, pressing soft kisses behind his ear and down to his shoulder. Natsu sighed, tipping his head back and running his fingers through Gray's hair as Gray's hands moved to the hem of his shirt. He raised his arms, letting Gray tug the shirt over his head and toss it to the floor before trailing kisses across his chest.

Natsu let out a shaky breath, rocking his hips down into Gray as Gray's lips found the soft spot at the base of his throat. Gray's hands travelled down to Natsu's hips as he thrust up, panting and scraping his teeth over Natsu's throat.

"Wanna move to the bed?" Gray murmured against Natsu's skin. Natsu nodded, pushing himself off Gray's lap and grabbing his hand, tugging Gray to his feet.

As soon as they were in the bedroom, Natsu's movements turned more frantic. He pulled Gray's shirt over his head, kissing and biting at Gray's neck as his hands worked at the button on Gray's pants. Gray kept one hand in Natsu's hair while he shuffled out of his clothes, then tugged off Natsu's pants and pushed him back against the bed.

"What do you want?" Gray asked, running a hand up Natsu's side, up to his neck and stroking his thumb over Natsu's jaw.

Natsu didn't answer, just tugged Gray into a kiss, then grabbed Gray's hand and pulled it down between his legs. Gray brushed his fingers over Natsu's cock, then down further, pressing against Natsu's entrance.

"Please?" Natsu whispered, and Gray nodded, nudging Natsu further up onto the bed until Gray was settled between his legs, pressing kisses down his chest and across his stomach.

"Anything for you," Gray murmured, brushing his thumbs over Natsu's hips.

It didn't take long for Gray to work Natsu open, pressing into him until Natsu was moaning with his head thrown back against the bed, fingernails digging half-moons into Gray's shoulders. Gray's breath came in short pants as he withdrew his fingers, then moved up until he was sitting against the headboard.

"C'mere," he murmured, tugging Natsu forward. Natsu crawled into Gray's lap, then let out a soft moan as he slowly sunk down onto Gray until they were pressed together. "Fuck, I love you," Gray whispered, running his thumb over Natsu's cheeks and pulling him in for a deep kiss. Natsu's mouth was hot and desperate, tongue sliding against Gray's and teeth sinking into his lower lip. His fingertips pressed against Gray's skin, tracing gentle patterns over his chest and shoulders as Natsu rocked against him.

Natsu's moans turned louder and more ragged and he leaned his head against Gray's shoulder, breathing heavily against him. Gray held Natsu tightly, one arm wrapped around his shoulders and the other coming between them to stroke Natsu's cock as he thrust upward.

"C'mon, sweetheart," Gray murmured, feeling himself falling into release. "I've got you."

Natsu gasped against Gray's shoulder, muscles tensing as he came, breathing Gray's name over and over again. Gray held out as long as he could, working Natsu through his orgasm before letting himself go, biting down on Natsu's shoulder and groaning.

They held each other for several minutes, breathing shakily and listening to each other's heartbeats, before Natsu leaned back and pressed a gentle kiss to the scar on Gray's cheek.

"I love you," he whispered.

They washed up together in the scrub room, standing under the water and listening to it patter against the tiles until it ran cold. When they got out, Gray gathered their discarded clothes, throwing them in a pile before climbing back into the bed with Natsu, naked under the clean sheets.

"I'm glad you're here with me," Natsu whispered, curling up against Gray's chest and pressing a kiss above his heartbeat.

"Me too," Gray said, wrapping his arms around Natsu and kissing his damp hair.

Natsu's breathing didn't take long to even out, but sleep didn't come for Gray. He stayed awake for a long time, running his fingertips over Natsu's face and trying not to think about smoke and blood and tears.

* * *

It felt like Gray had barely fallen asleep when a frantic banging at their front door woke him up. He groaned, rolling over and rubbing his face.

"I've got it," Natsu mumbled, sitting up and running a hand through his tangled hair. He pushed himself to his feet and shuffled out of the bedroom.

 _"Obaye!"_ It was Lexa's voice, and Gray frowned, throwing off the covers and forcing himself out of bed. His head felt fuzzy and he yawned, stretching and grabbing a sweater from the pile on the dresser.

"What's up, _lendlin?"_ Natsu asked, arms crossed over his chest as he shivered in the early morning air. Lexa stood in the entrance, bouncing up and down with excitement.

"Come with me!" she shouted, grabbing Natsu's hand and trying to drag him out the door. "We have to go to the guild! C'mon!"

"The sun isn't even up yet," Gray said sleepily, and Lexa's face brightened further when she saw him. "What's going on?"

"Freed said not to tell you yet," Lexa insisted, tugging on Natsu's hand and pointing toward the guild. "You gotta come see. It's important, c'mon, c'mon!"

Natsu looked at Gray and shrugged, grabbing his jacket from behind the door and pulling it on as they stepped outside.

Nobody was awake in the dark of the early morning, and Gray shivered, tucking his and Natsu's entwined hands into his pocket as they made their way through the empty streets, Lexa running ahead of them. By the time they arrived at the guild, he was awake enough to be concerned by the early hour, and exchanged a puzzled look with Natsu.

The doors of the guild were propped open, and Freed stood in the entrance, face a mixture of excitement and uncertainty.

"What's going on?" Natsu asked, frowning at Freed. Freed didn't answer, just motioned for them to follow him back to the corner of the room where a mess of runes was sketched along the table and in the air.

"Here," Freed said, grabbing Natsu's hand and placing it inside one of the rune circles. It flared up in different shades of purple, and the trepidation on Freed's face turned to relief.

"It works!" Lexa said excitedly, jumping up and down and turning to Gray. "I was right, we fixed it, we made the runes different an' now it works!"

"What works?" Gray asked, frowning at Freed. Freed gave Gray a rare smile, then looked fondly at Lexa.

"Her portals," Freed said. "We amplified them with the runes, and it finally worked." A loaded silence hung in the air for a moment before Freed added, "we can get you home."

* * *

.

* * *

A cloud of dust billowed up down at the end of the road, and Gray watched it dissipate through the trees, accompanied by the familiar hum of a hovertruck. Esper sat down beside him on the porch, letting out a low warning bark. He responded with a growl and she whined, ducking her head.

 _"Estas bone,"_ he whispered, scratching behind her ears. "They're friends."

Esper's tail thumped a staccato rhythm on the wooden boards of the deck, and Gray focused on the sound, rather than the tangled mess of feelings in his chest. He hadn't taken the call from other-Gray, but he'd overheard Natsu talking to them.

They were going home.

Esper whined again and headbutted Gray, and he sighed, turning to bury his face in her fur. He wanted to cry, but couldn't figure out why. Wasn't this a good thing? The Earthlanders had been stuck here for so long, and now they could finally go back to their family, and their friends, and-

-and leave Gray behind. Why did that hurt? He let out a low, sad whine into Esper's fur and she nuzzled his cheek, then settled down so that she was nearly in his lap, letting him wrap his arms around her.

A quiet, low-pitched sound that was as more a purr than a growl reverberated underneath Gray's chest. _I'm here,_ she said. _I love you. I'll stay._

 _I know._ He sighed, running his fingers through her fur. _Thank you._

Several minutes later, the hovertruck pulled up in front of the house, laden down with Freed, Laxus, other-Gray and Natsu, and little girl that Gray didn't recognize.

"Esper!" Other-Natsu hopped out of the hovertruck and patted his thigh until Esper jumped down from the porch and ran to him, knocking him over in her excitement. He laughed, pushing her face away as she nosed at his pockets expectantly.

Other-Natsu looked up at Gray and waved, then gestured to his pockets sheepishly. Gray rolled his eyes, waving his hand in a _go ahead_ motion. Esper eagerly took the scraps of food from other-Natsu, licked him, then ran up to the hovertruck and put her front paws up on the open side.

Gray froze when he saw the little girl standing in front of Esper, looking at her curiously. Esper had never been around children before, and she was nearly three times the size of the girl. Gray was about to call Esper back when the girl waved at him.

"It's okay!" The girl gave Gray a wide smile and held her hands out bravely. Esper sniffed them, then gave a soft _woof_ and jumped down from the truck. She ran over to Gray and danced in circles around him.

 _Sit_. He raised his eyebrows at Esper and gave a short growl, and she settled reluctantly on her haunches, tail thumping against the dirt and panting happily.

The little girl hopped down from the truck, then stood up and stared at Gray. Her eyes jumped from him, to Esper, then back to him again, tracing an obvious path down the scar on his face. He said nothing, feeling slightly uneasy, but eventually crouched down in front of her.

"You have a funny scar."

The girl's voice sounded like it belonged to someone much older, and the words took a moment to make sense to Gray. He touched the mark on his cheek, feeling the rough skin under his fingers and giving the girl a strange look. The statement was innocent, and it didn't irk him like he'd expected it to.

Eventually he shrugged and nodded, raising his eyebrow at her as if to ask, _so what?_ She grinned, then pointed to Esper.

"Can I pet her? Mama says to ask to pet dogs but she's bigger than the dogs at home. Is she a wolf? Her teeth are so big! Could she eat me?" The questions were rapid-fire, and before Gray could say anything, the girl had reached out and started petting Esper. "I'm Lexa. I'm from Fairy Tail!"

Gray felt like the wind had been knocked out of him as Lexa pulled up the sleeve of her shirt and showed him her guild mark – blue, just like his had been. He brought his hand up to the scar on his chest, feeling the raised scar through his shirt. It ached a little, but he tried to let the feeling go before it dug its claws in and made everything hurt.

He pointed to himself and said, "Gray," very quietly. "Esper," he added, patting Esper's head.

"Esper!" Lexa exclaimed. Esper barked happily, thumping her tail against the ground, and Lexa grinned. Then she turned back to Gray and frowned. "You're sad." It wasn't a question, and Gray didn't deny it, just shrugged.

Lexa looked intently at Gray for a minute, then sat down on the porch steps next to Esper. Gray slowly settled down beside them, raising an eyebrow as Esper licked Lexa's face.

"You look like _Pacjo,"_ Lexa said after a minute. Gray frowned, then followed Lexa's gaze over to where other-Gray was standing, deep in conversation with Sting. "Are you his brother?"

Gray tipped his head back and forth noncommittally.

 _"Pacjo_ and _obaye_ are going home." Lexa looked down at her hands, then back at Gray. "Are you going to miss them?"

Gray sighed and Esper whined at him, tipping her had back into his lap. He smiled, running his fingers through her fur, then nodded.

"Hey, you." Other-Natsu appeared next to them, hands tucked into his pockets, giving Gray a strange look. "Do you mind if I talk to Gray alone for a bit, _lendlin?"_ Lexa huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Gray's my friend," she said, and other-Natsu raised his eyebrows, half-smile on his face.

"Is he really? I thought he was too grumpy to have friends."

Gray rolled his eyes, then looked back at Lexa and gestured toward the house. "Go," he said. "Food."

Lexa looked at him suspiciously, then sighed. She shot a dirty look at other-Natsu before standing up.

"Only 'cause Gray said so," she grumbled at him, then headed into the house.

Other-Natsu laughed, settling down in Lexa's spot and petting Esper absently. He didn't say anything at first, just leaned against the railing and looked out across the yard toward the trees. It was late afternoon, and the early fall sun was bright but not warm.

 _"Obaye?"_ Gray asked after a minute.

"It's, ah… like 'uncle', I guess?" Other-Natsu explained, running his fingers through his hair and tying it back with a cord from around his wrist. "Some of the kids from Kelden – one of the towns up north – couldn't pronounce my name, so they came up with it and it kinda stuck."

"Hm." Gray lapsed into silence again, watching a grasshopper leap from the safety of the lawn to the bottom porch step. Esper saw it too and her ears perked up, but she kept her head in Gray's lap, making a soft rumbling noise as other-Natsu scratched her stomach.

"I'm gonna miss her," other-Natsu said quietly, looking down at Esper. Gray's fingers tightened in her fur for a moment, then relaxed again. "You, too," other-Natsu added. He held out his hand, palm-up, and after a moment Gray took it, letting other-Natsu slide their fingers together.

"Is it…" Gray stopped, considering the words. "…forever?" he asked eventually. Other-Natsu sighed, squeezing Gray's hand.

"Freed's not sure," he admitted. "It's all very… technical, I don't really get what they're saying most of the time. Something to do with her portals and Freed's runes. Laxus says it's safe, but I'm not sure if I trust him."

Gray snorted. He glanced over to where the others were gathered, near the front of the house. Freed was crouched down and was scratching runes into the dirt. Lexa had reappeared from the house with a plate of sweets and was chatting with Rogue and pointing to the truck.

 _"Vi mankos al mi,"_ Gray said softly, squeezing other-Natsu's hand.

* * *

.

* * *

They sat in silence for a while, watching as Freed helped Lexa to set up her portal in the circle of runes. Sting and Rogue chatted with Edo-Natsu and Gray, and the soft sound of their conversation was almost enough to take Natsu's mind off the fact that soon, this was all going to be nothing more than a memory.

Nothing felt real. He'd wanted this for so long, had spent hours yearning for home, for the noise of the guild, for fights with Laxus and threats from Erza and jobs with Lucy. Now that was real, though...

It was harder to leave than he'd expected.

"It's ready!" Lexa called out eventually, and Natsu squeezed Edo-Gray's hand again before standing up and helping Edo-Gray to his feet. An uncertain feeling bubbled in the pit of Natsu's stomach and he hesitated. Edo-Gray nudged him forward, and he swallowed heavily.

As they made their way over to the crowd, Esper growled uncertainly at the sparking, shimmering runes that flickered around the portals.

"It's okay!" Lexa said brightly. "It's making a road!"

The portal in front of them began to open, stretching until it was just the right size for Natsu and Gray to walk through, side-by-side. Freed sketched a few more runes in the air in front of it, and Lexa frowned in concentration, eyes squeezed shut.

"Do you see it?" Freed asked, placing a hand on her shoulder. She didn't answer for a moment, then her face broke out into a wide smile.

"There's some people!" she said, eyes moving rapidly behind her closed lids. She gasped, suddenly. "One of them looks like the President!"

"Sting," Gray said softly, reaching out for Natsu's hand.

Natsu's stomach twisted as the reality of it crashed into him, nearly knocking him off his feet. Lexa could see it – could see their world, their friends. They were going to go home.

"I guess it's goodbye, then," Sting said softly. Natsu turned to him, tears already falling as Sting pulled him into an embrace. Rogue joined it, then Edo-Natsu, and they held each other tightly as the moment became more and more real.

"Take care of yourself," Edo-Natsu whispered, pressing his forehead to Natsu's as Sting and Rogue stepped back. "We're gonna miss you." He held Natsu tightly. "Love you."

Eventually Natsu stepped back from the embrace, giving Edo-Natsu a sad smile, then turned to Edo-Gray, who was looking at him uncertainly. When Edo-Gray reached out and pulled Natsu into a hug, Natsu couldn't help the tears that slid from his eyes. The rare, tentative touch was almost overwhelming – Natsu could feel the hitch of Edo-Gray's breath, and then the slow, measured relaxation into the embrace.

"Thank you," Edo-Gray whispered, voice breaking against Natsu's shoulder. "You- if you hadn't come, we…" He pulled back a bit and looked over at his own Natsu, who was in a similar embrace with Gray.

"I wish there was some way we could do both, could- could stay, and go, and…" Natsu sighed, swallowing back tears and bringing his hands down to hold Edo-Gray's. "I'm sorry."

"No." Edo-Gray shook his head, and when he looked up at Natsu, he was smiling. There was no fear behind it, no darkness or hesitation – just a genuine smile that transformed his scarred, hardened face into something soft and gentle. "It's time for you to go home."

Natsu's breath caught as Edo-Gray leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek – soft and barely there.

"Go," Edo-Gray said quietly, nudging Natsu toward the portal. _"Ni ĉiam memoros vin. Adiaŭ."_

Natsu scratched Esper behind the ears, laughing as she licked his hand, then forced himself to move toward the portal. It was just like the one that had brought them here – a mass of black-and-silver miasma that rippled and stretched between Freed's runes.

 _"Obaye!"_ Lexa turned to Natsu and threw her arms around his legs, eyes suddenly filled with tears. "I'll miss you."

Natsu sighed, crouching down in front of Lexa and brushing her hair out of her face. Her blue eyes were wide and wet with tears, and she rubbed at her face, refusing to look at him.

"I'll miss you too, _lindling,"_ he said softly. "Thank you." She sniffed, hugging Gray as well, then stepping back to stand with Freed, who wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"Take care of yourselves." Laxus' voice was rough as he waved to them, and Freed gave them a gentle nod of his head. Sting, Rogue and Edo-Natsu stood together, Edo-Gray in-between them, all of them with bright, wet eyes and bittersweet smiles.

"You ready?" Gray asked softly, reaching out and taking Natsu's hand. Natsu shook his head, wiping at the tears that were streaming down his face as he gazed into Gray's eyes. "Me either," Gray said.

They both took a deep breath, looking around at everyone one last time before stepping into the portal together, feeling the familiar tugging sensation that had dragged them to Edolas as they crossed through the veil, back to their home.

* * *

 **Underspeak Translations**  
Bona knabino = Good girl  
Ni maltrafis vin = We missed you so much  
Karulino = sweetheart  
Estas bone = It's okay  
Vi mankos al mi = I'll miss you  
Ni ĉiam memoros vin. Adiaŭ. = We'll always remember you. Goodbye.


	15. chapter 15

_A/N: I can't believe it took me almost a year to finish this, but I'm so happy with how it turned out. I hope you enjoyed it too 3 Please let me know what you thought of the story, this has been such an experience and I appreciate everyone who read and commented on it. :)_

* * *

 **Earthland**

Lucy lay at the bottom of the hill, eyes closed and face tipped up to the late afternoon sun. A soft autumn breeze ruffled her hair and she sighed, reaching out and running her fingers through the grass around her. Her arms felt heavy, and she let a gentle wave of grief run over her, feeling like it was pulling her down into the earth.

A shadow passed over her and Lucy opened her eyes to see Sting standing above her, looking pensive. She sighed, sitting up and patting the ground next to her.

"Time to head up?" she asked as Sting slumped down next to her. "Erza should be here soon."

"Mm." Sting ran a hand over his face and sighed. Lucy could see the lines of grief by his eyes, the sadness pulling him inward. Sting had never been the same after Gray and Natsu's deaths, and anniversaries were always hard.

"Hard to believe Gray would have been twenty-two today," Lucy said quietly. "He'd probably laugh at us for celebrating his birthday, he always said it was a silly thing to get worked up over."

Sting let out a breath that might have been a half-hearted laugh. He reached down and grabbed a clump of grass, tugging it out of the earth and tossing it away.

"I miss them," he said quietly. "Can't believe it's been three years." His voice was shaky and Lucy reached over, grabbing his hand and squeezing. "I wish I could have…"

"It wasn't your fault," Lucy insisted, shuffling over and resting her head on Sting's shoulder. She wished there was some way she could convince him that he wasn't at fault – no matter how many times everyone told him that he wasn't to blame, he insisted that if he'd fought harder, hadn't been knocked out, it wouldn't have happened.

"Just…" Sting's shoulders shook and he wiped his face with the back of his hand, shaking his head. "Fuck, I just miss them so much."

Lucy sighed, swallowing her own tears. She was grateful when the bright red of Erza's hair came into view.

"Ready?" Erza asked, offering a hand to both of them and pulling them to their feet, then into a hug. Sting slumped into the embrace, nodding against her shoulder.

"Rogue's already up there with Lyon," he said quietly.

The walk to the top of the hill was heavy with grief despite the beautiful day – the sky was cloudless and blue, and the wind rustled the grass around them. As they approached the plateau and the shattered ruins, Lucy could see Rogue talking quietly with Lyon, hand on Lyon's shoulder.

"Hey," Sting said softly, reaching out to touch Rogue's arm. Rogue pulled Sting in between him and Lyon, and they all rested against each other, sharing their heartache.

Lucy stepped past them, crouching down next to two small stones, side by side next to the broken pedestal.

 _Gray Fullbuster,_ one read. _Beloved brother and friend._

 _Natsu Dragneel_ , said the other. _We miss your warmth and passion._

"Hey, you two," Lucy said, voice thick. She felt tears pushing at her eyes and she wiped them away, sniffling. "Can't believe it's been three years." She trailed her finger over Gray's stone, wiping some moss away from the letters. "Happy birthday."

Erza came up behind Lucy and rested a hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. Lucy reached up and slid their fingers together.

"The guild isn't the same without you," Erza said after a moment. "It's… it's quiet. Things don't get broken too often anymore."

Lucy let out a half-sob, half-laugh, and stood up, letting Erza wrap an arm around her.

"I wish…" Erza's voice was thick, and Lucy could see tears spilling from her eyes. "I've wished so many times- I'd n-never threaten you again, if y-you—"

Erza broke off, covering her face with one hand and turning into an embrace with Lucy. Lyon came up on Erza's other side and placed a hand on her arm, then knelt down next to the stones and placed a small bouquet of snowdrops in between them.

"We miss you so mu—"

A thunderous crack interrupted Lyon and he quickly stood, eyes wide as he backed up. Erza and Lucy followed him, and looked around in bewilderment as an intense roaring sound filled the air. The previously peaceful day was suddenly cold, a vicious wind whipping up around them and tearing up the grass, tossing small stones into the air.

Erza pushed Lucy behind her, quickly requipping into her battle gear and drawing her sword.

"What the hell?" Sting whispered, staring at the graves in bewilderment. A circle was forming in front of them, dark but shot through with iridescent colors. The edges of it shimmered, and the roaring turned to a dull whumming sound. It made Lucy's teeth ache.

"We need to get back to the—"

Erza was cut off as the circle expanded suddenly, and something was expelled onto the ground in front of them. The roaring sound disappeared as quickly as it had started, and replaced by a loud groaning as the dark miasma dissolved and faded away into nothing.

"Fuck, get off me," a voice grumbled, and the something on the ground resolved into two figures. Two very familiar figures, one with bright pink hair…

"Natsu?" Lucy's voice shook as she pushed past Erza. "Gray? Is that-"

The two men sat up, shaking their heads and blinking in the afternoon sunlight. They looked so different – Natsu had longer hair, tied back in a ponytail, and they both wore dark, unfamiliar clothing – but it was definitely them.

"Lucy," Natsu breathed, eyes widening as a smile spread across his face. He pushed himself to his feet and launched himself at her, pulling her to his chest and exhaling shakily. "Holy shit, I'm so- fuck, we made it. We did it."

Lyon stepped forward and stared at Gray as he stood, eyes widening as he took in his brother's appearance.

"Lyon," Gray whispered. He reached out and pulled Lyon to him, kissing his cheek and then burying his face in Lyon's hair. Lyon was still for a second, then wrapped his arms around Gray, letting out a noisy sob as Gray hugged him tightly. "Lyon," Gray said again. "Gods, I missed you so much."

Natsu pulled back from Lucy, putting a hand on her cheek and swallowing back tears. She stared at him, reaching up and running her fingers through his hair.

"Where… how…" She couldn't form sentences, just stared and stared at the lines at the edges of Natsu's eyes and the thin scar that ran from his lip to his chin.

"Is it really you?" Erza stepped forward and Natsu turned to her, reaching out an arm and pulling her close. "How are you…" Her voice was barely a whisper as her armor disappeared and she hugged Natsu tightly.

Gray finally let go of Lyon, and Gray's cheeks were wet with tears when he turned to Sting and Rogue. Sting was staring at him, eyes wide, mouth open in surprise, and Gray's chest ached at how little he looked like the Sting they were used to.

"You look so different without the beard," Gray said softly as Sting's relief caught up with him and he threw himself into Gray's arms, hugging him tightly. Rogue stepped into the embrace as well and Gray kissed his cheek, pressing their foreheads together and delighting in the solid warmth of both of them in his arms.

"W-wait," Sting said through his tears, pulling back and frowning at Gray. "Beard? What do you mean?"

Gray looked over at Natsu, shaking his head.

"It's a really, really long story," Natsu said, reaching out and squeezing Sting's hand. "We- I thought we'd never see you again."

"We thought you were dead," Lyon said, holding Gray's hand tightly. "You- there was the explosion, and everything was just- you were gone, and the Jellal guy was gone, and all there was left w-was blood, and…"

"We're not dead," Gray reassured him, resting his head against Lyon's. "We were… lost, I guess. Fuck, I missed you, y-you weren't there and it hurt so much." He kissed Lyon's forehead.

Erza and Lucy nudged Natsu forward, and then they were all together, a tangle of arms and wet cheeks as they held each other and cried.

Natsu choked out a sob and pulled back a bit, reaching across the circle and grabbing Gray, then pulling him for a deep kiss.

"We did it," he whispered, cupping the back of Gray's neck and feeling the warmth of their friends around him. "We made it. We're home."

* * *

 **Edolas**

Gray sat on the edge of the porch and watched the setting sun drag the last of the color from the sky until all that was left was a soft, pink glow on the horizon. The autumn evening was warm, and Gray could hear the cicadas starting up their strange chirruping sound. When they'd first come here, he'd found it too quiet – no screaming, no hoverbikes, no loud music from the clubs.

Now, the quiet dark was comforting.

Gray scratched Esper's ears – her head rested in his lap and her tail flopped lazily against the porch as she let out soft breaths against Gray's thigh. Her fur was so soft under his fingers and he closed his eyes, grounding himself in the sensation.

 _"Mi amas vin,"_ he murmured, letting out a sigh. _"Vi faras min senti sekura."_ He only ever talked to her in Underspeak – it was fitting, somehow.

Esper's ears perked up and she sat up slightly, and Gray turned to see Sting approaching them. He smiled at Gray, then crouched down, holding out a hand to Esper. She gave him an uncertain look, and Gray laughed.

 _"Ni ŝatas lin,"_ Gray said, smiling at Sting. "We like him, remember?"

At that, Esper hurried over to Sting and sniffed his hand expectantly, then looked puzzled when he didn't have anything for her. She licked his face instead, then returned to Gray's other side and settled down with her head on his lap again.

"You didn't bring her treats," Gray explained as Sting sat down next to him.

"My mistake," Sting replied, laughing. He settled down next to Gray on the porch, leaving a small gap between them and turning to look at Gray intently. _"Ĉu vi estas bone?"_

Gray sighed, leaning against Sting. He'd been so scared that everything would be different that he wasn't sure what to do with this deep feeling of familiarity. He shuffled closer and closed the gap between them, humming happily when Sting wrapped an arm around his waist.

"I think so," Gray said eventually, in answer to Sting's question. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Sting murmured, leaning his head on Gray's. Gray reached out his hand and Sting threaded their fingers together, resting their hands on his lap. "We understand. We- I missed you, though. Every day."

"I missed you too," Gray whispered. "It's…" He ran his thumb over the back of Sting's hand absently. "Different. With Natsu, I mean." He licked his lips – this was the most he'd talked in a long time. It felt comfortable, though. Not that he didn't like talking with Natsu, they just didn't need it. Natsu told Gray everything he needed to know with his gentle touch, his soft looks, his sweet kisses.

"Different good?" Sting asked.

"Different… different," Gray replied. "It won't be- it can't be the same. As before." The sky was dark now, and stars were starting to prick through the soft velvet dark. "But it's good. I love him."

"I know you do," Sting said. There was no hint of jealousy in his voice, no bitterness or anger. Gray had dreamed so many times of hurt words and angry tears, and now- the opposite. It was almost unsettling.

 _"Mi amas vin ankaŭ,"_ Gray added, squeezing Sting's hand. "I still love you. I never- it didn't stop. I'm sorry I couldn't talk- on the holo, it just-"

"It's okay," Sting said gently. "And I love you, too. I'm so- it's good to see you like this. With him. You deserve to be safe and happy."

Gray felt tears pushing at his eyes and Esper picked up on the shift in his mood. She lifted her head and whined softly at him. He copied the sound, stroking her head gently. It's okay, he told her. They're good tears.

"I am," he said shakily. "Happy, I mean. Not- not always, there's still… and sometimes I can't, and I want the Sin, and it hurts." Sting brought his hands up and ran his fingers through Gray's hair comfortingly. "But I don't- don't hurt myself. Anymore."

"That's good, _karulino,"_ Sting said softly, kissing the top of Gray's head. "I wish… gods, I wish that it ending – them being dead, and everything being different – I wish it took all that pain away." Gray hummed in agreement.

They sat quietly for a while, and Gray nudged Sting, nodding up at the sky. Sting let out a shaky breath, eyes tracing the millions of specks of silver across the backdrop of the night.

"It's so… there's so many of them," he whispered. "Down there, I thought- I was sure we'd never see the stars again. Everything seems so… it's overwhelming, sometimes. How much sky there is."

There was a quiet shuffling behind them and Gray tipped his head back to see Natsu and Rogue coming out of the house, mugs of tea in their hands. Natsu settled down next to Esper and handed Gray a mug, and Sting started to move his arm away from where it rested on Gray's shoulders.

"Don't," Natsu said, shaking his head and giving Sting a quiet smile. He didn't say anything else, just leaned against Gray and gave Rogue a soft look as he settled down on the steps between Sting's legs. Rogue reached back and ran his thumb over Gray's knee, and Gray suddenly felt breathless.

Content.

Safe.

This was all he needed. Some days it still hurt, and the nightmares sunk into his mind while he slept. There were times when it felt like he'd never be anything close to himself again. But right now, here, beneath the infinite sky, surrounded by everything he loved-

Gray thought he might be all right.

* * *

 **Underspeak Translations  
** Mi amas vin = I love you  
Vi faras min senti sekura = You make me feel safe  
Ni ŝatas lin = We like him  
Ĉu vi estas bone? = Are you okay?  
Mi amas vin ankaŭ = I love you as well  
Karulino = sweetheart


End file.
